Disclaimer- I don't own anything. If you are under the delusion I do, then you are likely one of the people discussed below.

A Labyrinth fan with an eye to efficiency will quickly grasp the concept that simply wishing that the goblins would take away the ubiquitous, annoying person or persons in their life does not suffice. For one thing, it is generally agreed by the majority of fan fiction writers that there is an age past which one can not be transformed into a goblin, therefore, what would his majesty do with said annoyance?

Therefore, we turn to plan B, which stands for Bog. Yes, simply wish them away to the Bog of Eternal Stench. They will be out of the way and not enjoying any of the good things that might be accrued from being whisked away on a wish to a fantasy land.

However, despite wishing away the aforementioned irritants, they seem to continually turn up in life.

There must be a reason.

An examination of his majesty's email reveals the horrible truth.

Yes, I meant to say horrible- dwarves with attitude are not a factor in this discussion.

To: Intolerable conditions

Your Majesty, Greetings and felicitations,

I Sir Didymus salute you and once more offer my sincere congratulations on your most recent marriage to Queen Sarah. I am most grieved to bring this matter to your attention, but I find I have no choice in the issue. My loyal steed, Ambrosius has threatened mutiny if I do not take a stand. I, do in fact agree with him, actually.

As per the duties of your office which Sire has most effectively and sagely administered for long years, you sent ... (insert the name of the most irritating person you know) to my demense, the Bog of Eternal Stench. May I take this opportunity to thank you once more for enchanting my superior nose so that I do not smell the Stench? Thank you. Yet, my other senses are in no wise impaired, therefore, I am now subject to the continual, unceasing, torment of X's voice. A dragon, a flood, a giant, I could have taken, but sire, you sent me X- dear heavens, that is most unfair. Now, I am here in this foul, fetid, foggy, Bog of Eternal Stench with their constant bickering, prattling, yammering. Deafness would not serve you well, sire. Do something, I beg you.

Respectfully,

Sir D

To Intolerable conditions

I have struck them mute, happy?

To: No

Sire, whilst stricking them mute, note I do not say dumb, they already were, is some help, there arises a new, more insidious problem. They have found my computer, and are subjecting me to continual, constant emails of the most perfidious nature. It is far worse than their speaking. Help.. Ambrosious has already begun packing, and I will be force to join him if nothing is done. Please, remove them.

Sir Didymus, respectfully and beseechingly.

To Re No

I have returned aforementioned annoying persons to their world. Sarah sends her love. Be advised, since X hacked your email account for addresses, the castle email is changing, advise you to do the same. We will contact you with the new email.