I Want To Watch The TV!

Hey there, folks! L1701E here! I just want to regale my faithful Misfit fans with this fun little one-shot starring the Dreadnoks in celebration of my 75th fic here! Basically, Zartan wants to watch the game, but the problem is, the Dreadnoks keep taking the freakin' TV! I hope that you enjoy this new fun little one-shot!

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Hasbro Entertainment, me, Marvel Comics, Devil's Due Publishing, and everyone else that owns them that I forgot to mention. Oh yeah, and here's your quote: "The boss…is back!" - "Rowdy" Roddy Piper

The Dreadnok Compound, The Florida Everglades

"Oh yeah…" Zartan, the master of disguise that led the Dreadnoks, grinned happily as he looked at the TV Guide. He also was carrying a tray of various snacks, including nachos, pork rinds, donuts, and a couple liters of diet soda. He put his tray down on the coffee table in front of the couch. He sat down on the couch. "Oh, this game is going to be good! Arizona vs. Oklahoma State." Zartan picked up the remote and turned on the TV. "Arizona had better take this one. I got money on those guys." Zartan turned the TV to the sports channel. He had money going into the big NCAA college basketball tournament, and like heck if he was going to lose the bet. He looked down at his snacks. "Oh great! I forgot the stupid corn chips!" He got up and walked to the kitchen. He returned carrying a bowl of corn chips, and his eyes widened. "HEY!" He saw Buzzer, Ripper, Monkeywrench, Thrasher, and Torch sitting on the couch, hooting at the TV, hollering, guzzling beers, and eating Zartan's snacks. "What're you twits doing?" Zartan asked loudly.

"We're watching the big fight!" Torch hollered. "Get 'em, De La Hoya!"

"Yeah, Tyson sucks!" Monkeywrench agreed, hi-fiving Torch.

"Tyson sure does." Torch nodded with a smile.

"No way, Tyson will beat De La Hoya!" Ripper growled.

"De La Hoya! De La Hoya! De La Hoya! De La Hoya!" Thrasher chanted happily.

"Tyson hasn't been in action in years!" Buzzer scoffed. "A Tyson win is a longshot at best." Zartan blinked, and then looked at the TV.

"Jerri Tyson versus Alyssa De La Hoya for the World Catfight Championship?" Zartan noted.

"Yup!" Ripper grinned. "Awesome! A piece of her top came off!"

"I was watching the NCAA tournament! I got money in it!" Zartan yelled.

"It's just a bloody basketball game." Torch blinked. Zartan put down his corn chips, and grabbed a shotgun. He cocked it and then fired it into the air, causing the five Dreadnoks to jump.

"Next shells go into your heads!" Zartan pointed the shotgun at the five bikers. The five screamed, jumped to their feet, and raced off as Zartan fired the gun. He only ended up blowing a hole in the back of the couch. The master of disguised muttered and grumbled as he put the gun down and sat on the couch, switching back to the game. "Aw come on! They can pass better than that." Zartan suddenly heard a rustling. "Aw come on! For the love of…" Zartan grumbled and cursed as he walked outside. A few minutes later, the master of disguise walked back into the room. "ZARANA!" Zartan's pink-haired sister was watching a chick flick, and she was sniffling.

"I love you, but our opposing sides don't allow it…" The TV said.

"It's so true! I so identify with this movie! WAHHHHHHHH!" Zarana sobbed. Zartan growled. "HEY!" Zartan lifted his younger sister up. "I was bloody watching that!"

"Sorry sister, but I have money on the line!" Zartan threw Zarana out the window, and then closed it. The master of disguise wiped his hands in satisfaction. When he turned around, he groaned. He saw Zanya on the couch, sighing happily, a look of longing on her face. She was watching the Superstars in their latest video. She squealed when she saw Paul on the screen.

"I could eat that boy alive…mmmm…" Zanya smiled longingly, playing absent-mindedly with one of her green braids. Zartan groaned.

"Zanya, I have to watch the game. I got money on it." Zartan told his teenage daughter.

"But Daaaaad…" Zanya whined. "This is the new video by the Superstars. I'll die if I don't see my studly Starchild!" Zartan groaned, but then had an idea. He looked out the window. "Hey Zanya!" He pointed out the window. "I saw Starchild! He's right outside!" Zanya squealed.

"COME TO MAMA, YOU PURPLE-WEARING, RETRO-LOOKING STUD!" Zanya squealed as she ran up to the window and leapt out it. Zartan closed it.

"Sucker." Zartan snickered. He turned around. "GAH!" He saw Leathersuit and Gnawgahyde sitting on the couch.

"Oh mah Gawd, King!" The voice of Jim Ross was heard from the television. "Randy Orton really laid out Jonathan Coahman!"

"This is great, sport!" Gnawgahyde grinned at his alligator-like mutant nephew.

"Oh yeah!" Leathersuit grinned. "Orton really made Coach FEEL! SOME! PAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNN!" Leathersuit flexed his muscles.

"You two are going to feel some pain if you don't get out of here and let me watch the game!" Zartan roared, whacking at the two with a baseball bat. He chased the fleeing Dreadnoks up the stairs, whacking them with his bat. After a few minutes of giving them a thorough thrashing, Zartan walked back downstairs. "Now I can enjoy the game in peace…oh no." Zartan moaned. He started to see red.

"I wish to watch the documentary on the history of Great Britain, Road Pig!" Donald snapped as he changed the channel.

"Well, I want to watch the monster truck rally!" Road Pig snapped back, switching the channel again.

"History of Britain!"

"Monster Truck Rally!"

"History of Britain!"

"Monster Truck Rally!"

"History of Britain!"

"Monster Truck Rally!"

"British History!"

"Monster Trucks!"

"British History!"

"Monster Trucks!"

"British History!"

"Monster Trucks!"

"Britain!"

"Trucks!"

"Britain!"

"Trucks!"

"BRITAIN!"

"TRUCKS!" The Dreadnok with the split personality looked up when they heard a noise. They saw Zartan walk toward them menacingly, holding a chainsaw.

"I…want…to…watch…the…game…" Zartan snarled.

"I believe a strategic retreat is in order, Road Pig." Donald gulped.

"Yeah, I'm with you!" Road Pig shuddered in agreement. "YIE!" Road Pig screamed and ran away, a slashing mad Zartan after them. A lot of screaming could be heard. A few minutes later, a grumbling Zartan returned. He found Virus sitting on the TV, watching a documentary on toads. He was scribbling into a notepad.

"Oh yes…" The mad Brit grinned. "I can use this information to kill Toad once and for all…" Virus giggled crazily. With a roar, Zartan leapt on Virus, and started pounding on him. "AAAAAAAAAGH! HELP ME!"

"I WANT TO WATCH THE GAME!" Zartan roared, grabbing Virus, dragging the mutant inventor into the kitchen. He stuffed Virus into the oven, and lit the sucker up, leaving the screaming Dreadnok in it. Zartan returned to the living room, and he really saw red when he saw Zandar watching the TV.

"Oh, you wanted to see the game too, big brother?" Zandar grinned. Zartan immediately calmed down. He looked at the TV. The game he was watching was playing.

"Sweet!" Zartan grinned, taking a seat. "So, who you got money on?"

"Arizona."

"Me too." Zartan smirked. "I heard they're due this year."

"I can't breathe…" Virus moaned from the kitchen.

"SHUT UP, VIRUS!" Zartan and Zandar yelled.