Disclaimer: I don't own Xenosaga, although I wish I owned Canaan and Jr…

Luna: Hi! This is my first Xenosaga fic that's a complete parody off Xenosaga! This has minor spoilers, supposed to take place in Xenosaga 2, but not at the end of it, because I haven't beaten it yet….: grumbles about annoying boss Oregella something or other: Enjoy! And review!
Chapter 1: Bored

J.r was on the Elsa, currently mad at the world. Or the galaxy, since the world is currently gone.

He was 21, but he looked and felt like he was 12. Not to mention the fact that today was his birthday and everyone forgot….

" Jr!" screeched the voice of an annoying Realian, shattering glass everywhere.

Go AWAY…PLEASE! Thought Jr. ,MY EARS!

" MOMO, what do you want?" asked Jr.

" I just want to check and see if your alright!" chirped the extra happy MOMO.

" Must you scream so loud…?" he asked.

" Why are you upset?" asked MOMO, " Albedo's on the screen and he wants to talk to you!"

" Oh joy," said Jr, getting up from his seat.

He ran to the bridge where Albedo was, or rather; his face. The rest of the gang was there as well.

" Hello there, Rubedo," said Albedo.

" What do you want now! Whatever it is, make it quick…" said Jr.

" You don't even have the time of day for me now?" asked Albedo, " That hurt. AT one time, we were one..-"

" INCEST!" shrieked Shion, suddenly.

" No! Not that kind of one!" said Jr, " Wow, I'm surrounded by idiots…"

" It would certainly explain why he was so clingy to Jr. in the flashbacks," said Ziggy.

" And you say I'm sick and twisted," said Albedo, " Anyway, happy 22nd birthday! Oh, wait. Your still 12! MWHAHAH!"

And the screen faded.

" Albedo, I'll get you!" screamed Jr.

" Don't you wanna be friends with your brother?" asked MOMO.

" Let's see, that's after he kidnapped you, stole the Y-Data, was being evil and creepy, right? And you still want me to befriend bi-polar man?" asked Jr.

" Yup!" said MOMO, optimistic as always.

" No! How about that!" cried Jr, and ran off.

" chaos, your calm and wise and all knowing," said Shion, " Go talk to him. Besides, ever since Allen smashed my glasses, I'm too cool to care. GO!"

chaos nods and walks off to where Jr. passed through.

Canaan was standing in the corner, arms folded across his chest; as usual.

" Hey, Ziggy!" cried MOMO, " Do you wanna play a game of dress-up?"

" I'm sorry, MOMO," said Ziggy, " I have too much dignity for that."

" But…you're my guardian!" protested MOMO.

" And you're a Realian with an artificial heart and soul, so deal with it," said Ziggy.

" Y-you meanie!" cried MOMO, and runs off in tears.

" Ziggy! How could you?" asked Shion, " I wanted to say that for the longest, she's too damn cheery. Cheater!"

Incase you, the readers, wonder why I stuck Canaan in this fic, is simple. 1. He's hot, 2. He should've been a playable character. More on him later….

Meanwhile

chaos met up with an angry Jr. who was in his room, staring at a wall.

" Jr, is something wrong?" asked chaos, " We've been worried about you…"

" Yeah…Hey, why's you name chaos?" asked Jr, " Your so quiet and calm, what's so chaotic about you?"

" I'm not wild enough for you, is that it?" asked chaos, slowly.

" Well, yeah. I think someone named chaos should be…well, causing chaos!" said Jr, " And why don't you capitalize your name?"

chaos took this into consideration.

" I see. I'm too old and boring to be of any use." said chaos.

" No, that's not what I meant!"

" No. I understand. From now on, I shall be Chaos! With a capital C!"
With those words, he ran out of the room.

On the Bridge…

Shion and Jin were arguing about curry.

" I'm not saying your cookings bad," said Jin, " I'm just saying it looks like mud, is all."
" Mud! Jin, you-" began Shion.

She was cut off by an egg that had connected with her head. Yolk was everywhere, and Jin got hit with a deadly egg as well.

" What the-" began Shion, " MY HAIR! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG IT TAKES ME TO BRAID MY HAIR INTO THOSE CUTE LITTLE BRAIDS?"

Shion looked over to see thrower, chaos! Yes, none other than chaos was the egger.

" chaos! What is the meaning of this?" cried Jin, yolk all over his Japanese uniform thingy.

" It's not chaos! It's Chaos!" screamed c-, I mean, Chaos.

Shion and Jin blinked.

" Isn't that the same thing?" asked Shion.

" No! It has a capital C! HAHAHAH!" cried Chaos, and pelted poor Canaan with an egg.

" Hey! That's uncalled for!" I said.

" Ah! A disembodied voice!" said Jin.

" Relax, its probably just Nephillim or Feb," said Shion.

" Feb?"

" Yeah, I don't know who she is either."
" It's a magical voice from above!" cried Chaos, " EAT EGGS!"

He threw the eggs blindly, because he couldn't see me. Ha, an advantage of being an author.

" Bad Chaos! Now apologize to Canaan!" I said.

" That's right, I'm BAD!" screamed Chaos, and ran off.

" Whatever," said Canaan, " I'm gonna get something to eat."
Canaan began his uneventful trek to the food bar on the Elsa. Unfortunately, that's where MOMO was….

Luna: Hoped you liked it! And the reason I didn't include the Captain, Tony and Hammer is because…well you find out later. Review!