Okay, I had like a sleep over. AJ fell asleep at 11pm, and talking to her got boring. So Junebug and I watched Smallvile, episode Scare.We got this crazy idea. So, even though none of the characters belong to me, and half of the ideas are Junebug's, here it is:

Oh, and before all heck brakes loose Junebug says, "BOB. tie your shoes you idiot. and take a bath while you are at it, and yo momma went college." Okay, we had a little to much kettle corn...(actually this is normal behavior)

Anyway enjoy!

Scare: Revised

Due to the disturbing and graphic nature (not really) , these images were never shown in the actual episode. This is the actual nightmare that Alexander Joseph (actually it is Josephine) Luthor endured while under the influence of the Scare vaccine and other assorted drugs (CATNIP!). What was shown was just recap of the episode Hourglass. So now I humbly present the real version of Lex's worst freakn' nightmare.

He was alone in a big room.

He was wearing a purple tutu with pink highlights.

Then the spotlight was on him and everything was eliminated. In front of him was a small four month old kitten in a clown suite. It looked up at him and said, "I'm clown bate."

That was just creepy, but it was going to get worse, all in the span of three minutes.

Next Bob Saget decided to even he score and began to beat Lex over the head with a chainsaw before revving it up. Darn, and I thought he was a good muse.

"Am to."

"Shut up you are not in the story any more."

"Darn."

Well anyway, besides my meaningless conversations with Bob, Barney had decided it was time for Lex to feel the love.

So, Lex got a BIG ole hug and smoochie.

This of course made Helen Bryce jealous, so she beat Barney over the head. Now that she had Lex all to herself she slapped him. Which was terrifying, I mean would you want to be slapped/ hugged/ kissed by your ex-wife who is now a drag queen?

Lex by this time was absolutely horrified.

He had no idea what to do except the Nutcracker suite.

So, naturally, he slapped Helen backed. But, surprise, surprise, her face was a mask! Being totally unsure of himself, he pulled at her clothes, and she was reviled to be a he!

Clark Kent to Lex's horror was gay! But that is okay with him...Oh god! Am I gay? I'm GAY! Even his thoughts were scaring him now.

Worse yet, Clark was completely in flannel. His pants, shirt, sunglasses, skin, hair, probably his underwear. Unfortunately before their relationship could advance that far, Clark fell into a FIC, Flannel Induced Coma. His last words that Lex heard were, "My love is like…di-dieria, it is just so hard to…to contain…"

Then Lana fell into a MIC, Makeup Induced Coma. This had nothing to do with anything; in fact it was rather expected to happen to her.

Lex was totally confused so he poured himself a drink took a sip, and let the glass fall to the ground. His dad had NOT poisoned it; Oh My God. Pete had.

Lex then fell twitching into the Nutcracker's arms. The Nutcracker looked him over and said, "Yo! Yous white cracker on my turf, I is offended, but don't really give a serious crap…."

Puffy cheeks and a cowlick.

Like, I said this is just sooooooooooooo graphic. Well anyway Lex fainted, and opened his eyes.

He was back at LexCorp on the floor.The first thing he said was, "Clark?"

The words he meant to say were, "Clark? You are alive! Thank god! Now…are you gay?"

But of course no one heard that your memories will be erased in… Looks at watch ...29.315…hours!

THE END

SMILE ON!