Chapter 11

Whisper

A yellow taxi pulled up to the Kinomiya residence catching the attention of everyone who was at the dojo. Today was the day Tyson was supposed to come back from the hospital, but it was also the day when Tyson had to go see a counselor. Everyone had agreed it would be best if Tyson went to see his counselor before returning home that way it would be less stressful for the boy. When they had told Tyson this plan he had reluctantly agreed, but he made them promise he could go there by himself. He didn't want any of his family or friends there, even if it was the first day which meant the counselor was only going to tell him how everything worked and then talk to him for a bit. Having them there would only make things harder.

After giving the taxi driver the money Tyson just sat there in the back seat for a few seconds. What were their reactions going to be when they saw him? Would they be angry? Would they ask questions? Taking deep breaths he tried to calm himself down. He couldn't have a panic attack now, especially since the driver was giving him a look that clearly said the guy wanted Tyson to get out of the cab. With one final deep breath he pushed on the door handle, opened the door and stepped out of the taxi.

No one said anything. No one greeted him, instead Max and Ray were beybattling each other while Kai watched over them. His grandpa and brother were probably in the dojo somewhere, or at least his grandpa was. For all he knew Hiro left to help his father. A hollow feeling settled in Tyson's stomach at these thoughts. Even after he had almost committed suicide they still didn't care. Maybe he should have just stayed at the hospital. At least there people noticed him.

Each new thought made Tyson's insides ache more and more. Why did he expect everyone to all of sudden care? How could he be so stupid? As he berated himself silent tears formed behind Tyson's eyes. It hurt so much. He could barely breath because of the pain and as the burning tears threatened to fall he felt the need to hide. He couldn't let them know he was in pain. He just couldn't.

"Tyson." the voice caught Tyson's attention just before he was about to turn and run away. He so badly wanted to ignore the voice and just run away anyway, but he couldn't, so against his will he turned to face the person who had spoken to him.

Kai was leaning against the dojo wall with his arms crossed over his chest. The stance he held was his usual one, but it was different. Instead of keeping his eyes closed like he would normally do they were open and gazing directly at Tyson, and the gaze was hot and intense. It was like he was burning a hole through Tyson and staring at his very soul. It scared Tyson to have someone staring at him like that, so he looked away. He knew he shouldn't and that he had no reason to, but he just couldn't take Kai's intense gaze.

"Tyson," Kai called to the bluenette again. He kept his voice calm as he spoke, but made sure it also held a tone of command to it. "Tyson, come here."

At first Tyson didn't move and Kai was going to call out to him again, but before the words could escape Kai's mouth Tyson moved closer to dual haired teen. As Tyson moved closer Ray and Max stopped their battle in order to stare at Tyson, not knowing how uncomfortable they were making him. It wasn't until Tyson was standing directly in front of Kai did he stop moving.

A shadow covered Tyson's eyes as he stood there, so no one could tell what he was thinking, but Tyson knew all too well what was going on in his head. Kai's mad at me. I know he said he loved me but that doesn't mean he can't be mad at me. I hope he can forgive me. I didn't want to upset anyone. I just wanted to escape from the pain. It hurt so much and I couldn't take it. I'm so weak. How could I be so self centered? There are so many people out there that have suffered more than me and they go on living. I'm an idiot. A weakling. I don't deserve any of this.

Something warm grabbed onto Tyson's wrist and before he knew what was going on he was being held in two warm strong arms. He could feel whoever was holding him pulling him down so that they were both sitting on the dojo floor, and he didn't fight it. He felt so tired and couldn't fight back, but he didn't want to. The arms that were holding him felt familiar and made him feel safe and wanted. This is where he wanted to be, in the arms of someone who cared about him. Nowhere else could compare, but he could feel eyes staring at him, so with what little strength he had he turned his head so he was facing Ray and Max.

Smiles were plastered on the two boys faces, but something didn't seem right. Tyson couldn't put his finger on it, but something seemed false and out of place. Shaking off the feeling Tyson gave the two boys a smile of his own. "Hey guys, did ya miss?"

Max laughed at the question. "Yes Tyson, we missed you. So how are you feeling?"

"Tired," Was Tyson's response as he subconsciously moved his body closer to Kai's, who was the one holding him in a protective embrace. "It's impossible to get any sleep at a hospital with all the other patients, nurses, and doctors running around. Also, while the counselor was nice it was very weird talking to them. It's kind of hard to explain exactly what it was like, but it was weird, very weird. Other than that I'm fine." Except for those thoughts I was having a few moments ago, but I'm fine now. I just hope I can remain fine.

"That's good," Ray said with that same smile on his face, and once again the uncomfortable feeling settled over Tyson. The bluenette could only watch as Ray grabbed Max's wrist and began to walk away with the blonde while shouting over his shoulder, "Since you're tired Max and I'll go practice somewhere else that way we won't disturb you."

Tyson frowned as he watched his two friends leave. Something was wrong with them, he could tell. They weren't mad at him, but something about him was brothering them and making them act weird. Then again maybe he just wasn't expecting them be so happy when he returned.

"Hn. You seem to have a lot on your mind."

A brilliant smile took over Tyson's face and he buried his face into Kai's chest. He'd never understand how he fell in love with Kai, but he couldn't be happier, and just having the other boy there with him made him feel better than he ever had. The arms around him tightened their hold on him and warmth settled over Tyson's entire being. Kai could act like a real jackass at times but he loved him, and that made Tyson feel… he couldn't think of the word that could rightfully describe it. He felt safe, protected, warm, and so light that he might just float away, but he also ached to be closer to Kai, but not just physically. He needed to be closer in all senses, body, mind, and soul and while he did ache for this it didn't hurt. It wasn't like all the other aching feelings he had when he was depressed or angry. This aching feeling was in a strange sense welcomed.

Inhaling Kai's spicy scent Tyson managed a murmur, "I do have a lot on my mind, but it's nothing important. Ray and Max just seem to be acting a little odd. I don't think they're angry, but how they're acting just seems strange."

Placing his hand on Tyson's cheek Kai lifted the boy's face up to his own and kissed him. The kiss was chaste, but gave of a wave of caring and support, something that Tyson desperately needed. As they pulled away from each other Kai smirked at the blush staining Tyson's cheeks. "Don't worry about it Tyson, just relax."

"Easy for you to say," Tyson huffed. "If I want to fall asleep in my bed then I have to go in the house and risk having to talk to my grandpa and maybe my brother, depending on if he's there. Is he?"

"Hn. Yes." Kai rested his chin on Tyson's head. He knew Tyson was going to have to talk to his family soon, but he wanted to spend a little more time alone with him until then, and even though he didn't show it, what Tyson said had him concerned. Max and Ray hadn't seemed to be acting different, but after looking back on what just happened they were acting odd, almost edgy even.

"Kai," Tyson said as he pulled away from the boy, "I'm really tired and just want some sleep. Can we please go inside?"

"We?" It wasn't the fact the Kai didn't want to go inside with Tyson, but he hadn't expected the younger teen to say it.

"Yeah we. If I go inside with you my grandpa and brother will probably leave me alone if they see me." At least I hope they will, Tyson thought to himself. He couldn't handle talking to his family right now. He was drained of a lot of his strength and because of that might say some things he didn't mean to them if he talked to them right now.

Nodding Kai stood up, pulling Tyson up with him, and entered the dojo with bluenette right beside him. Hiro and Gramps saw the two, but didn't disturb them. Instead the two glanced at them and then let the two boys go without a word, silently understanding that now wasn't the best time to talk. For this Tyson was grateful, but he didn't give any sign of this and continued walking to his room with Kai beside him.

When they finally made it to Tyson's room the bluenette gave a sigh of relief and then threw himself onto the bed. He could feel his muscles become less tense when his body hit the soft mattress. There were no words that could describe how much he missed his bed; the bed at the hospital had been bumpy and so thin he could feel the metal bars underneath the mattress.

Seeing Tyson was settling in well Kai turned to leave the room. He'd probably have to answer Hiro and the old man's annoying questions once he stepped out of the room, but he could handle it, he had aspirin.

"Kai?"

Kai stopped mid-step and turned his head to look at Tyson. The boy was sitting up in his bed looking at him with sad lost eyes. "Yes Tyson?"

"I…" Tyson started but his voice died down. He tried again, "I-I know this is kind of pathetic Kai, but… would it be okay if you stayed with me? You don't have to, but I just don't want to be alone right now. So-" Tyson was cut off when he felt a new weight settle next to him on the bed. Glancing in the direction of the weight he saw Kai sitting there next to him and a small smile played on his lips. "Thanks Kai," Tyson said as he lay down on the bed and fell asleep.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.

Later that day Tyson woke up to find Kai sleeping next to him, or at least it looked like Kai was sleeping next to him. The older boy had his upper body leaning against the headboard and his eyes were closed, but for all Tyson knew Kai was thinking about something. Carefully Tyson lifted himself up from his spot on the bed and looked Kai over. He really couldn't tell whether Kai was sleeping or not. The older looked relaxed, but the way his body was positioned made Tyson doubt that he was sleeping. Who in their right mind would sleep sitting up, but then again this was Kai.

"Are you done looking me over yet?"

Tyson jumped back and fell off the bed. He had been so deep in thought he hadn't seen Kai's eyes open. Sitting up he rubbed his head in embarrassment and in an attempt to get rid of the pain he received from landing on his head. "Well if you're going to be like that than yes."

Tyson's answer made Kai smirk at the bluenette. Getting out the bed he kneeled down beside Tyson so they were eye level. "And what exactly do you mean by 'acting like that?'"

For the first time in months Tyson could feel himself growing happier by the second. He couldn't help the playful feeling that grew in him as he answered Kai's challenge. "I mean you acting like you're all high and mighty. Just because I love you Kai doesn't mean you're ruler of the world."

"Are you calling me arrogant Tyson?" At Tyson's nod a rare smile spread across the dual haired teens face. Not giving the bluenette a warning Kai pushed Tyson to the ground and pinned him down. "Strange, the last time I checked you were the arrogant one."

Tyson's heart screamed out in anguish at these words. The world had become so cold and once again Tyson found himself feeling alone with nothing but the need to run away to keep him company. He knew Kai only meant it as a joke, but being called arrogant opened old wounds. The despair that held Tyson prisoner wouldn't let go and he felt like he was drowning in pool of blood.

Something wasn't right; Kai could sense it. Looking down at Tyson he saw the boy's eyes glazed over showing no emotion. The way Tyson looked right then wasn't right. He showed no emotion, but the air around him seemed to echo with unmeasured sadness. He didn't like it. Seeing Tyson like this upset Kai and in what he guessed was desperation the dual haired teen pressed his lips against Tyson's.

Seconds ticked by and finally Tyson started to respond to the kiss, but it felt different than what Kai expected. The kiss was desperate and filled with pain, and it tasted like salt. Pulling back Kai saw a single tear falling down Tyson face, and something inside him ached for the boy. "What's wrong?"

Tyson shook his head determined not to let Kai know he hurt him, but it only seemed to frustrate the holder of Dranzer. "Tyson, I can't help you if you don't tell me what I did to upset you."

Again Tyson shook his head, but when Kai refused to let him go the bluenette knew he was stuck there until he told Kai what was wrong. Taking a deep breath Tyson explained. "You used to call me arrogant and it always hurt, but I never told you, sorry."

For the first time did Kai see how much he hurt Tyson. All those times I called him arrogant and treated him badly he pretend that he was angry or he didn't care, but really he was shattered. How could I not see it? Why didn't anyone ever notice? Regret washed over Kai and in a silent apology he wrapped his arms around Tyson's waist and gave the boy a hug.

Tyson on the other hand was shocked by the sudden embrace, and cautiously wrapped his arms around Kai's neck. He's not mad. I thought he was going to yell at me and say I need to grow up and stop acting childish, but he's holding me. Is this possible? Maybe he loves me more than I thought. Smiling contently Tyson buried his face into Kai's chest.

A knock at Tyson's door caught the two boy's attention, but they remained in their embrace. "Hey lil' dudes! We've decided to have a barbeque tonight for dinner! Come to the river when you two are ready. We're leaving right now."

"Thanks for telling us Gramps!" Tyson yelled back at the door, recognizing the voice. "We'll be there in a few!"

"A few?" Kai questioned as he pulled back from their hug, but was stopped by Tyson pulling him back.

"Yeah, I like hugging you and I don't want to stop just yet."

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.

Tyson could feel his mouth water at the sight of the food in front of him. Hamburgers, Hot dogs, steak, fries, salad, and was that pocky he saw? He could die a happy man now.

"Close your mouth Tyson," Kai said while grabbing two plates and giving one to Tyson.

Taking the plate Tyson huffed and began grabbing some of the food. "I'm just showing my appreciation for the food. Maybe you should do it Kai."

"I would but birds might want to turn my mouth into a nest if I did."

"Hey!"

"Hay is for horses."

Tyson pouted at Kai and took a seat beside Max. "Fine be that way. I hate you now."

Kai smirked. He knew Tyson was only playing around and wasn't upset. Taking a seat next to Rei and across from the bluenette he replied, "And you call me mean. I didn't say I love you and then the next second say I hate you. If anything you're the crueler one."

"Okay I love you, but you're still a cold hearted bastard," Tyson said right before stuffing a fry into his mouth.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," Kai responded coolly.

While this conversation went on between Kai and Tyson everyone else stared and watched in wonder. Tyson looked like he always did, no wait, better. The holder of Dragoon didn't look like someone who had just been sent to the hospital for suicide. And Kai was actually playing around with Tyson. Kai, the guy known for being cold hearted and not caring about anyone. It was too surreal. The happy moment however was ruined when Tyson picked up his knife to cut his steak.

"Uh Tyson why don't you let me cut that for you," Rei said as he reached out and grabbed Tyson's wrist, stopping the boy from cutting his meal.

Tyson eyed Rei suspiciously taking in the nervous and forced smile on the boy's face. Then he looked around the table and noticed Max had the same look on his face while his grandpa and brother were looking at the knife in his hand intently. Finally it all sunk in. They didn't trust him holding a knife.

Tears burned behind his eyes but Tyson wouldn't allow them to see him in such pain. They'd probably then tear the knife out of his hand and then lock him in his room and make sure there isn't anything sharp in it. The feeling of betrayal rotted his bones and all he wanted to do was hide from their accusing gazes. He knew what he did was wrong but he couldn't take it anymore. They would have done it too if they had been in his place.

Swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat Tyson smiled and handed the knife and his food over to Rei. When the neko-jin was done cutting his steak Tyson took back his plate and forced himself to eat the food that had now become bitter and slimy. Everything was horrible. He thought that things were normal, but he had been lying to himself. They were scared of him, and things would never get better.

"Excuse me," Tyson said and stood up and left his friends and family. His feet seemed to have a mind of their own and Tyson let them lead him to his bedroom. He felt so disgusted with himself. How could he ever think things would get better? He was so stupid. This wasn't some fairy tale where things all of sudden got better. No, this was life and he was stuck living it. Why couldn't he have just died?

The tears he had been holding back fell. He couldn't hold it in anymore. Everything hurt. His friends didn't trust him and they were pretending everything was okay when really it wasn't, and his family… they hadn't even tried to talk to him yet. He didn't want to talk to them, but the fact that they weren't making any effort to talk to him. What was wrong with them! He had just tried to commit suicide and they act like nothing had happened, but when he picks up a knife and they instantly become alert!

"Tyson?"

The mentioned bluenette turned his head to face Kai, who was standing in the doorway of the room. Damn, I forgot to lock the door, Tyson thought to himself. "What do you want Kai? Why'd you follow me?"

Kai frowned at Tyson's harsh tone but didn't comment on it. "You looked upset and I wanted to make sure you were going to be okay."

"Okay? Okay! How can I be okay when my friends and family pretending everything is fine when really they're upset! I wish they would just come out and tell me they're angry instead of holding it in!" Tyson's body shook with rage and he clenched his hands into fists.

"What makes you think they're upset?"

Tyson scoffed at Kai's question. "You saw what happened out there. One moment they're acting like they're happy and everything is normal and the moment I grab a knife they freak out!"

Silence passed between the two until Kai spoke, "I guess they didn't want to upset you by reminding you about your suicide attempt, but when they saw you with a knife they got scared."

Tyson's shoulders sagged in defeat. Kai was right, but the fact that his friends and family lied to him by acting happy and then reacted badly to him holding a knife unnerved him. Sighing Tyson leaned forward and rested his head on Kai's shoulder. "I know at one point I wanted them to pretend like everything was normal but I think I want them to yell at me and tell me the truth about how they feel."

"I don't know what I can tell you Tyson." Kai said quietly as he ran his hands through Tyson's hair. "We're just going to have to wait and see happens, but I'm sure they'll tell you eventually."

Tyson nodded and wrapped his arms around Kai. Maybe things weren't perfect, but at least things finally had a chance of getting better.

The End

Akira: I bet half of you are going, "No! That's not a good enough ending!" but in case you guys forgot or started reading this after the lyric rules were posted this was originally based on the Fallen CD of Evanescence. So this is it. (cries) I loved this fic and now it's over! (cries more) If you really liked this fic I have another Tyka angst fic posted called "Rinse It All Away" so you might want to check it out but you don't have to. Oh but before I forget "Rinse It All Away" is rated M so if you don't read rated M stories than I guess you should just ignore this.

Tyson: I hate you Akira.

Akira: (cries) For ending this story I hate myself too!

Tyson: You got issues.

Akira: No, I just love this fic so much.