Tohru's birthday present

Dedication: Aaya, for being such a great friend!

I know there's no such thing as an ALL LEEK AND ONION RESTAURANT, but I couldn't help myself.

Tohru was in the kitchen when she heard the paper door break, and Kyo screaming "KAGUUURAAA! NOOOO!" She was so startled she dropped the glass she was pouring milk into. And in all the noise, she thought she heard a faint 'riiing', so she ran around in the room, not knowing weather she should clean up the milk and the broken glass, or if she should answer the phone.

"Don't worry about it, Tohru! I'll take it!" She heard Shigure call from another room, and the phone stopped ringing. The house was quiet again, with the exception of Kagura kicking Kyo's ass, out of love, of course.

Suddenly, Yuki came in and sighed.

"Sohma-kun? What's wrong?" Tohru asked in a worried voice. "Are you sick?"

"No… NO! I'm just a little stressed, that's all….!" Yuki trailed off looking around in the kitchen, as if he was looking for something. "You haven't seen my shirt, right?"

No, Yuki wasn't topless, he was just cold and wanted to put on a sweater, and he called it shirt, because he was stressed and couldn't think of the word 'sweater'.

"No, I'm sorry, I haven't seen it! Maybe you left it on your room?"

"I'll go… check… I guess…" Yuki left the room, and left Tohru to wonder what was wrong with him. Maybe he really WAS sick? She thought. But then again, why would he lie?

Later that night, at dinner time, Shigure was yapping on about the wonders of his novelist life, and what adventures had happened to him THIS time.

"… And then my editor came up to me and told me she'd kill me, and then commit suicide if I EVER ran away again!" Shigure laughed. He loved teasing his editor. He loved it more than teasing Kyo.

"Shut up." Yuki said calmly. Of course, Shigure didn't actually LISTEN to him, but it was worth a shot!

"Anyway! Tohru, your grandfather called before, and he wanted to wish you happy birthday!"

"Ah, he did?" Tohru asked nervously. She hadn't told the Sohmas about her birthday before, because she didn't want to be a bother. "I'd better call him later and say thank you!"

"IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY?" Kyo hollered so loud Momiji came ranting yelling the exact same thing. (Momiji is actually superman, with super fastness and all!)

"Ahh, yes it is indeed." Shigure said in an all knowing voice, while holding his chin in an all knowing way and he had closed eyes in an all knowing way. He looked all knowing.

"Happy birthday, Honda-san!" Yuki smiled.

"Thank you, Shoma-kun!"

"So, I was thinking," Shigure continued, as Yuki had interrupted him SO rudely. "We should go out and celebrate!"

"WHAT?" Tohru yelled out, but calmed her self again. "No, no, no, no, no, I can't let you do that!"

"Oh, come on, Tohru-kun! It'll be my treat!"

"It's not that! I couldn't let you do that! You've already done so much for me! I couldn't—"

"Please, Honda-san, we want to celebrate your birthday!" Yuki said and patted Tohru on her shoulder.

"Then it's settled! I'll treat Tohru-kun, Yuki-kun and Kyo-kun to a restaurant!" Shigure said mostly to himself than anyone else.

Later that night, at dinner time, Kyo, Yuki and Tohru were lead to a restaurant by Shigure, who didn't even let Tohru choose. Tohru didn't mind, though. She never does…

"Hm… where to sit, where to sit..?" Shigure looked around and finally found a table by the window that wasn't completely covered in food, with 3 and a half chairs. Shigure had taken them to a dump for Tohru's birthday. But Tohru was too happy to notice. Kyo and Yuki noticed though.

"What kind of place is this anyways?" Yuki said in disgust while he looked around. There was dirt everywhere, and the "waiters" were disgusting and gross. They were all fat and shitty.

"WHAT KIND OF CHEAP ASSHOLE ARE YOU?" Kyo shouted so loud everybody in the entire word heard him.

"There, there, Kyo-kun! You're embarrassing yourself!" Shigure smiled and didn't care about the abusive word Kyo threw at him. "Now take a seat!"

Shigure, Tohru, Kyo and Yuki sat down together around the round table, and a larger (not fat, just larger), gum chewing, cynical, big haired woman in a dirty waitress outfit came up to them.

"Welcome to 'Eat-the-Leek'. Please be ready to spend a lot of money on leek and onion." she said dully and chewed loudly while handing out menus.

Of course, Kyo hadn't heard a WORD she said, so he looked at the menu hopefully, hoping they'd have some fish or something, and found the menu to be full with LEEK AND ONION BASED DISHES! OH NO!

Onigiri with leek… no! Who'd eat that anyways? Tohru made it once for the school festival, but... meatballs with onions and spaghetti… What? Fish stuffed with onions and miso. Now that's just plain weird…Kyo thought this while reading through the menu.

"Hey, old bat, aren't there anything WITHOUT onions or leek?" Kyo asked and looked at the old bat, I mean waitress.

"No! This is 'Eat-the-Leek', of course there isn't anything without onions and leek! And don't call me old bat, brat!" The bat replied rudely.

"WHAT? THIS PLACE IS CALLED 'EAT-THE-LEEK'? SHIIIGUUUREEE!"

"Now, now, Kyo! Take it easy! Have some leek!" Shigure said, waving off Kyo's words in another direction.

"I'LL KILL YOU ONE DAY!" Kyo hollered and continued to holler other, more obscene things that are not for the young people's ears to hear.

But Shigure waved them off, as he has this wonderful talent of waving everything critical against him off in another direction.

"Ky-Kyo-kun! Calm down!" Tohru said worriedly, when Kyo almost passed out because he'd spilled out too much obscenity. Surely, he wouldn't be able to say anything obscene again until he was 45.

"May I take your orders?" large Marge, which is what we'll call her from now on, asked when she came back from the wilderness. Or something.

"Ah, yes! We," Shigure pointed at himself and Yuki. "We'll have meatballs with onion and spaghetti. The lady will have a leek salad, and the collapsed orange head will have your biggest sized leek 'n' onion plate, with miso on the side! Thank you!"

"Okay, have your money ready to when I come back!" large Marge said and walked away to disgust another leek-loving costumer.

This story will have 3 chapters, I decided just now, and the next chapter will involve Ayame, Hatori and Momiji. I'm going to be gone for two weeks now, so give me many reviews to come home to. Constructive criticism is welcomed.