Cal-Reflector's notes: The inspiration for this came when I was browsing through Japanese websites for Eyeshield resources and stumbled upon sites peddling these shocking products of fangirl fantasies. I then imagined how Shin and Sakuraba would react if, considering the army of fan-girls that follows Sakuraba which makes the scenario that much more likely, they should ever stumble across one of these fan-created mangas starring themselves.

Disclaimer: Eyeshield 21 does not belong to me. If I did, I would make Hiruma the main character instead, and give Juumonji ten times the screen time like he deserves; no offense to Sena fans, Peace.

Disclaimer 2: No members of the Oujou White Knights were harmed in the making of this fic.

Who Dunnit?
By Cal-Reflector

It was a week before the Spring tournaments began, and the Oujou White Knights were working out in their state of the art training facility. Sakuraba Haruto, the team's designated wide receiver, was spotting for his friend and star line backer, Shin Seijuurou, as the latter did bench presses.

"Shin, we've only got one week till the tournament starts, maybe you shouldn't be pushing yourself this much." said the reluctant teen-idol as his partner sat up from the bench, his shirt soaked through with perspiration. Wakana, the team's adorable manager, hurried over to hand Shin a towel, and he dried himself off before he replied.

"I'm not pushing myself. I know the risks of overworking right before a match, that's why I've only been benching 100 kilos instead of my customary 130." Before Sakuraba could let his low self-esteem take further damage from the fact that Shin was lifting twice his maximum while going easy, the head coach of the White Knights, Joushi Gunpei, came up next to the pair.

"Sakuraba's got a point; I can't afford to have you overextend yourself right before the opening game to the most important tournament of the year. Shin, you're done for the day, hit the showers."

"Yes sir." After Shin had left, Gunpei turned towards the rest of the team and called out, "Ten more minutes, people! Wrap things up!"

Shin found his locker inside the shower room and began to undress, and had the author been a diehard fangirl in love with Shin, a steamy and meticulously detailed account of Shin's physical appearance filled with spicy phrases like "rippling sinews" and "sculpted abdomen" would have been included, but that not being the case, we shall move on to less distracting and more important parts of the story.

So, Shin was undressing, and when he opened his bag to get his change of clothes, he discovered several items that he did not recall packing in the morning. He pulled out several publications; of what type he could not tell. These were much thinner than magazines, but had a larger face than regular books. And most interesting of all…

"Hmm, all of them have pictures of me and Sakuraba on the cover." A look inside the first page of one immediately answered his curiosity. "Ah, these must be those comic books that I keep hearing about." Intrigued to find more images of himself and his teammate inside, he read on, wondering at the close proximities and awkward positions that he and his teammate kept finding themselves in, but when he turned onto the ninth page…

Sakuraba entered the locker room ahead of the rest of the team, exhausted from the workout and thankful for the chance at last to clean up and rest for the day. He was surprised to see Shin still in his old clothes and sitting still on the bench in front of his locker like a silent statue, a wad of something crushed between his fists.

"Hey man, how come you haven't showered yet? What are these?" Shin remained silent as Sakuraba bent down to pick up one of the comic books, who would later on much regret his innocent act of curiosity, for unlike Shin, he flipped quickly to the middle. Sakuraba's eyes squinted, then widened, then bulged, and then…

"YAAAAAHHHHH! MY EYES! IT BURNS!" Sakuraba flung the source of the torment to the floor and clutched his eyes as he dropped to his knees, his body flinching in physical pain from the image that had been burned through his retinas and into the back of his skull. It was at this point that Shin spoke out, his voice colder and more deadpan then usual.

"Sakuraba, that comic just now..." The wide receiver paused in his agony to listen. "Why were you and I touching each other in a non-sportsman-like manner?"

"I don't know! I don't know! How… how did this… how'd this stuff get here in the first place?" Sakuraba looked up slowly at Shin and terror spread through his being. "Th… the… they're not yours, are they?"

Unfortunately, or fortunately, the team's main offensive lineman, the hulking Ootawara Makoto, chose that moment to burst through the door to the locker room, with a chained Ikari Daigo in tow, followed by Takami Ichirou, the veteran quarterback, and the rest of the team. "HEY! WHAT'S UP YOU TWO? What'chya doing there sitting like a couple of tired old men, huh? Reading comic books? Didn't know you liked this kind of stuff, Shin!"

Ootawara, perhaps due to his thicker nerves or simpler brain construction akin to the anatomical makeup of large dinosaurs, did not receive the shock which so damaged Sakuraba. Surprise was another thing however, and he showed his by proclaiming in a gigantic bellow, "HOOOOOLLLY MOOOLLLY! SHIN AND SAKURABA ARE MAKING OUT LIKE A COUPLE OF RABBITS IN HEAT!"

Shin stiffened further, and Sakuraba had tears streaming from his eyes as he went into a frenzy and tried to tear the accusing book from Ootarawa's hands, screaming, "LIIIIES! ALL LIIIIIIES!" But to no avail, the damage had been done; the big linesman had shown the images to the other members of the team, who took on various shades of green. A few dashed for the stalls, from where the unappetizing sounds of offerings being made to the porcelain goddess were soon heard. Others muttered quietly amongst themselves as they cast suspicious glances at the distraught wide receiver and stony line backer. When it was his turn to look, Ichirou's eyeglasses shattered. Wakana turned an impossible shade of red and ran out with her hands covering her burning face. What business she had in the men's locker room in the first place, we don't know. One could accuse her of having ulterior fangirl motives, like sneaking in during the uproar for some eye candy, but benefit of the doubt should always be granted to cute team managers who in their innocence are obviously incapable of such evil intent.

Coach Gunpei stepped into the room then and silenced the commotion with an overpowering shout, "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN HERE?"

Ichirou turned towards the direction from where Gunpei's voice came (his glasses were shattered by the images) and replied. "It appears that someone brought yaoi doujin to the locker room, sir."

Gunpei's weathered face turned red—not with embarrassment, mind you—and glancing over his team, some of whom still had their heads in the toilet bowls, one was crying and falling to pieces, and another clamed up within himself, he roared out in full fury, "WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?"

Several miles away, in the Deimon Devil Bat's clubhouse, Hiruma observed the ordeal in real-time on his satellite-uplinked laptop with a grin so wide that all his fangs were bared. Seeing this, Mamori remarked, "You certainly seem to be in a good mood today."

"I just found out that my presents to some friends were well received. Giving is truly more rewarding than receiving! NYAHAHAHAHAHA!"

In Summer, in addition to work on a long Eyeshield 21 story, which will center on Juumonji (with the insertion of an unexpected romantic development) and take place the year after the present, in which Hiruma and Kurita have become third years and left the team, I will launch a number of works under other categories as well, like School Rumble. If you enjoy that manga and anime, be sure to check it out. If you are not acquainted with School Rumble, READ IT! I also have planned stories for Scrapped Princess and Samurai 7, which do not have their own categories yet. Tell me what you think.