The Avatarverse Sue

Faster than a speeding Sokka!

Able to leap tall icebergs in a single bound!

Look! Up there in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's…OH MY GOD IT'S A MARY SUE QUICK SHIELD YOUR EYES RUN AWAY HIDE THE CHILDREN!

They are everywhere. They are inescapable. And they must all die.

They are the Mary Sues of the Avatarverse.

The show "Avatar" has not even been around for a full season, but already the Sues are spawning like maggots over this show. They are unavoidable: one may not surf for five seconds on without running into such a title as "Zuko's First Love" or a summary "…a mysterious girl is found (insert place here). She is revealed to have the mysterious power of (insert absurdability ending with '-bending' here). Will (insert canon character here) fall in love with her!OMG!1!11!tehone."

And the stories they come up with! The slaughter of the canon characters! Sokka, made to cower and snark without relief! Zuko, made to say "please!" Katara, made to admire a thirteen-year-old with "sprays of auburn locks like molten copper falling to her waist in gentle curls like the sea and eyes black as midnight with two shining stars in one and a lightning bolt in the other that prophesied the end of the Firebender War and the beginning of the Golden Age That Was To Come!"

Ladies (and gentlemen, if there are any out there), this must end.

I know it will not. I know that there will inevitably be thousands more "another airbender"s or "the girl from the modern era who somehow manages to get Zuko to fall in love with her"s, or dreaded, dreadedself-insertions. I know that I am not capable of stopping the horror.

But I am able to parody it.

I am not expecting to be popular for this. I am altogether too sarcastic for that. This is just my own gut reaction to the dreadful pieces popping up in the wake of this show. I know Avatar is not the only show that's been molested like this. Harry Potter, for pete's sake. Yu Yu Hakusho. Trigun. Lord of the Rings. Pirates of the Frickin' Caribbean. I picked Avatar because I enjoy the show, not really any other reason. I have watched its viewership grow from null to thousands, and, I have watched the number of fanfics from one to over two hundred (two hundred seven, as the number now stands.)

As I have stated, this will be my outlet of AMS (Avatar Mary-Sue) parodies. No emotional damage is meant toward anyone, I'm sure. But if you can, do let me know what your views are, if there's a fic you want me to parody, if you hate me, anything. The review button's right down there.