Chapter 2: At Mode Mansion

by Ms. Kinnikufan

Disclaimer: I own my ocs, everyone else is own by Pixar.

It had been two weeks since Buddy, Mae and Theresa had been rescued by Mr. Incredible. Buddy was now posting advertisements for "The Mr. Incredible Fan Club" around town.

"Buddy, it's not that I'm not flattered that you made vice president of your fan club, but I think you're jumping the gun. He's only been a super for two weeks. He could die unexpectedly like Captain Invulnerable-" Ben (who was back from Judaism camp).

"Who was he again?" Buddy interrupted, making sure the poster laid flat on the telephone pole.

"He was the guy who choked on a piece of pecan pie to death. Thus proving he was stupid or something. Also how do you know Mr. Incredible isn't going to turn out to be a weirdo super like Phylange?

"Who's he again?

"That guy who screams and stuff like that? He's a member of The Thrilling Three whose costume always looks dirty and who makes public service announcement about the importance of music?"

"I still can't place him."

"That super that you're dad said was definitely a homosexual?"

"Oh yeah. That guy. I don't see why my dad would think he would want to date hobos though." Buddy scratched his head.

"Errr, Buddy, that's not want your father meant."

"Then what did he mean?"

"...I think that poster needs to be flatten some more."

Meanwhile, while Buddy was starting the very first (though not exactly authorized in an exact legal sense) Mr. Incredible fan club, Lucius had finally managed to secure an appointment with self-proclaimed "Absolutely fabulous" Edna Mode.

It was a long, long drive to Edna Mode secluded "fortress". They passed several mushroom farms (a very noxious smell) and a manure factory. Obviously Edna Mode valued her privacy.

They finally pulled up to gate of a very scary looking mansion. It reminded Bob of the haunted house in where evil old ladies murdered innocent curious children with a pickax.

Lucius spoke to the guard at gates.

"Lucius Best and Robert Parr for a 3:00 PM appointment to take 'measurements'"

The guard looked at his clipboard.

"Hmm...oh yes, here it is. May be a bit of a wait. Everseer and Macroburst came yo get Macroburst costume resized again for about the fourth time. Macroburst is apparently going through a growth spurt and it's driving Edna nuts."

The guard opened the gates.

They were lead to the parlor, where many supers were hanging around. Two young girls floated around in the air.

"Elizabeth! Sarah! Be careful! Don't fly higher then where you are now! We don't want you hurting your little heads on the chandelier again." Thunderhead instructed the two little girls. He had a male toddler in some sort of harness.

"Why is your kid in a harness? Isn't that inhumane?' Bob asked.

As if on cue, the toddler began to levitate, the leash keeping him from going out of reach.

"I see."

One of the girls swooped down to Bob's eye level.

"Hey! You're that new guy! Mr. Incredible!" one of the girls remarked.

"Your debut fight was really stupid. You would have been beaten by Mr. Multiply if that ugly kid hadn't barfed all over Mr. Multiply. That's a really lame way to win It's-" The older girl began to comment.

"Elizabeth! Remember that talk about how we don't say things like that to people?" Thunderhead chastised, his toddler levitating again.

"But you and Scott were just talking about how lame-"

"That's enough Elizabeth, dear." Thunderhead covered his mouth and faced Bob.

"The things kids will say these days." Thunderhead gave a very forced smile.

A bunch of other supers sat in chairs, reading old Archie comics that were scattered across a classy looking coffee table.

"I think Moose subconsciously has a thing for Dilton." Phylange commented. Bob take note that his costume looked rather dirty and ratty.

"You would." Hypershock said in "I know you're gay and I'm mocking you because of that" tone.

"Yeah, so what?" responded Phylange in a "I hate you. I hate you so much and I'm so glad we're not the same super-team" tone.

"If I were Jughead, I would try to force Betty and Archie together so I could get Veronica. She's one hell of a dame." Gamma Jack gave a wolf-whistle.

"You are aware that she's jailbait pal?" Phylange raised an eyebrow.

"But if I were Jughead, then I would be jailbait too. So it wouldn't be illegal."

"You could never be Jughead. Jughead eats anything. You're a picky eater."

"I'm a strict vegan. I have to be a picky eater because animal products are always being snuck on your dish even if you specify no meat or dairy. Honestly it's so hard-"

At this point everyone blocked out the rest of Gamma Jack's rant on the difficulties of being vegan in a meat eating world.

Bob began to squirm. God, why hadn't Lucius let them stop. He kept ranting on "they're were going to be late, and Edna's scary when people are late for their appointment".

Finally Edna's voice was heard as she, Everseer, and Macroburst came into the parlor.

"Edna, I think you made my costume a little oversized this time." Macroburst was lost in the new costume.

"I made it roomy this time so that you could grow into it. I wouldn't have needed to done it dahling if you would simply quit growing for a year or two."

"But I'm going through puberty! I can't help it!"

"Dahling, most 12 year old boys aren't going through puberty yet. Perhaps you're an early bloomer or perhaps you're female?" Edna commented with a knowing smile.

"I do not see why you consider Macroburst's gender to be of importance. Macroburst is growing, so Macroburst needs Macroburst's costume resized so that Macroburst can successfully fight criminal scum." Everseer came to Macroburst's aid.

"Everseer, dahling, someday, somewhere, someone's is going to trick you into revealing whether Macroburst is male or female." Edna gave her cigarette holder a flick.

"Can we stop by McDonald's on the way back?" Macroburst asked as they walked out the door.

"Remember what I told you last time you asked that?"

"You said that the restaurants were filthy and all the shareholders had sold their souls to Satan for McDonalds to become a success. I was hoping your recent head injury by Captain Explosion would have made you forgotten that..."

"No such luck kid."

"Hmmm...so you're the one who had the absolute gall to dubbed himself 'Mr. Incredible' That's going to a most difficult name to live up to, are you aware of that?" Edna sized him up.

"Yes." Bob got even more squirmy.

"What's with all the squirming. Perhaps you are frighten of me?" Edna gave a a little smirk.

"Where's your bathroom?" Bob blurted out.

"Heh. Whether it's a date or a client, that's always the first question they ask. Three hallways down, then take a left, then go down another hallway, then take a right and there is the men's room." Edna pointed Bob in the right direction with her cigarette holder.

17 minutes later, Bob was hopelessly lost.

"Who the hell puts a bathroom where it's hardest to find?" Bob wondered out loud as he paced the hallways.

His bladder was on the verge of bursting. Bob took notice of a houseplant...

Bob was zipping up his fly when he heard a woman's voice:

"Did you just violate that innocent houseplant?"

Bob turned around and saw the most beautiful woman he ever saw. Bob was sure he saw her somewhere. Perhaps on the cover of a magazine?

"Of course not. I was ummm...just checking the foliage. I think it's not getting enough sunlight." Bob said lamely.

"Uh-huh." The woman didn't appear to believe him,but made no additional comment on Bob's obvious faux pas.

"Edna sent me to look for you."

"I wasn't lost. I was ummm checking out the houseplants."

The woman didn't believe him.

"C'mon lets just follow the trail of skittles back to the parlor." The woman grabbed Bob's arm.

"Trail of skittles?"

"Everyone gets lost looking for the bathroom the first time they visit Edna's house. The trick is to leave some trail markings to find your way back."

An impatient looking Edna was waiting for them.

"There you are. Come, we will now take your measurements in my designing room!"

Edna's designing room was a jumble of a drawing board, loose fabrics, costumes (Bob noticed that none of them had capes), costume designs, empty coffee cups, half-full coffee cups, potted geraniums, ashtrays, and some sexy looking Japanese comic books.

"Now where is my measuring tape. Ahh, here it is." Edna pulled out the measuring tape out from under one of the sexy looking Japanese comic books. It flipped to a page of two very pretty males in a very sexy embrace.

"Let's not stare at them." Edna closed the comic book.

Edna got a chair to stand on and began measuring.

"Mr. Incredible, that's going to be a hard name to live up to. You remember Captain Invulnerable?"

"He was that guy who choked on a piece of pecan pie a few months back?"

"Actually, it was because he was severely allergic to nuts. The NSA circulated that rumor because they thought choking to death was less pathetic then a guy who called himself "Captain Invulnerable" having an allergy to nuts."

Edna finished the measurements and they went back to the parlor.

"So when will I get my costume?"

"When it's done, dahling. Everybody, I'm giving you a fair warning: I'm now going into the creative process now."

Gamma Jack, Thunderhead, Hypershock, and Phylange's faces got the fear of God on them.

"Kids, we're going home now!" Thunderhead yanked both his daughters out of midair.

"Can we stop by McDonald on the way back?" The younger one asked.

"Honey, you know we can't take the M.E.V. through the drive-through. They got really angry lost time."

"I can wait for a replacement costume." Phylange crept his way towards the exit.

"Why's everyone freaking out?" Bob was curious.

"Edna requires total isolation for 'the creative process'. Now let's get out of here before she releases the dogs with bees in their mouths."

"Such things exist?"

"Yes. Found out the hard way. Now let's go!" Lucius yanked Bob in the direction of the exit.

Edna yelled after Bob as they got into the car: "When you come to pick up your costume dahling, please refrain from urinating on the houseplants!"

When they were a safe distance from The Mode Mansion, Lucius commented:

"You peed on one of her houseplants? Man I would watch for booby traps in your new costume."

"I couldn't find the bathroom! Besides it was already dying."

"She got cameras everywhere in her house you know."

"Just how did you find out that Edna has dogs with bees in their mouths?"

Let's just say Edna really, really, really, doesn't like trespassers, especially if they're drunk and intend to T.P. her trees."

Back at Mode Mansion:

"Hmmm...indistructofibers or megamesh?" Edna sat at her drawing board, a bottle of scotch at her side.

"Definitely megamesh. Indistructofibers are more for decorative parts of a costume. Maybe an "i" symbol? Red...no red is too glaring. Blue. Definitely blue." Edna took a drink of scotch and began to sketch.

Next chapter: Bob gets his costume and hazed. Buddy's fan club as his first meeting and he meets Mr. Incredible again.