Title: Look Who's Talking!
Authoress: Ladya C. Maxine
Rating: K
Summary: A more humorous look into the lives of the inu-family. One father, two wives, two sons: a lot of headaches.
Warnings: mild language
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of its characters. Any and all unrecognizable characters belong solely to me and are not to be touched. I am not making any money off of this and I write with the sole intention to entertain.
Look Who's Talking!
By Ladya C. Maxine
"Sesshou! Give it back!"
"Make me!"
"It's miiiiiiine!"
"I don't see your name on it!"
"It is!"
"Oh…but I'm still taking it!"
"NO! Bully! Take THAT!"
Punch
"ITAI! DORK!"
Scratch
"OW! GEEK!"
Punch
"OW! HANYOU!"
Kick
"OOWWW! I'M TELLING!"
"Go ahead, Droopy!"
Thump
"My ears aren't droopy!"
"Oh yeah?"
"OW! Let go!"
"ITAI! No biting!"
Crash
"HA! Take that, Fluffy!"
Growl
"Shut up!"
"Fluuuuuuuuuffy! Fluffy! Fluffy! Flu--aaaah!"
Thump
CRASH
"How much longer are you going to let them go on?" a sleepy voice asked on his right as tousled head of black hair turned to him as the commotion in the hall beyond the doors raged on.
"One is bound to kill the other eventually," was his equally drowsy response, face contently nestled in a sea of silver hair similar to his. "I only need one heir anyway."
"Besides, hanyou's are dispensable," said the third sleeper, smirking behind a curtain of hair when she felt the human bristle at that.
"My son is quite capable of taking care of himself, Larika."
"OW! NO POWERS!"
"I'm sure he is."
"It is not Inuyasha's fault that your child is a cheater."
'Sweet Buddha, it's too early…' he groaned silently, burying his face into his pillow.
"Cheater?" Shrugging off her husband's arm, Lady Larika sat up, glaring down at the woman on the other side of their bed. "My son cannot help being superior to your half-breed child."
"Half-breed!"
CRASH
Thump
'Just one more hour of peace. That's all I ask…'
"It's not an insult, human. It's a fact," the Lady of the Western Lands pointed out, combing a clawed hand through her luscious mane. "Though…it's still an embarrassment all the same."
"At least my son is never confused for a girl!"
"Are you calling my son effeminate!"
'Or just strike me dead as I lay…'
"It's not an insult; it's a fact," Izayoi threw back at the now fuming youkai.
Punch
Thump
SLAM
"Sesshou! Give it back!"
"Owww! Let go, runt!"
"Itai! Moooooooooooooom!"
"My lord, are you going to let her get away with calling your son a half-breed!"
"Inutaisho, are you going to let her get away with calling you first son, and heir, effeminate?"
"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!"
"SILENCE!"
Sitting up with a snarl, the Lord of the Western Lands shot both his wives as annoyed a look as he could muster in his sleep deprived state. Even the fighting beyond the closed doors came to an abrupt halt.
"I will NOT go through this every morning. Boys, stop fighting or Buddha help me I will make you get along! And you two, keep you foolish bantering to yourselves, at least until after breakfast. I would like, just once, to wake up to something other than my mates' petty quarrels!"
My, how the tables turned.
…And not in his favour.
"Mates?" Larika hissed, eyes taking on a red glow. "So now we are just mates?"
"And you consider your sons' honours as petty?" Izayoi challenged, glaring from beneath messy bangs.
"Honestly, you men are so shallow," the female youkai spat, throwing off the blankets and getting to her feet, straightening her silken night gown over her slender body.
"They're all the same," Izayoi continued, also getting out of their bed, slipping her feet into her soft slippers.
"They come to you all gentlemanly and understanding…"
"…and make you feel so special and awestruck."
"My mother always told me that a man's mind is controlled by his libido," Larika said, pulling on a thick robe.
"My mother told me the exact same thing," Izayoi nodded, pulling her hair into a neat ponytail. "Plus that he can never understand a woman's heart or his parenting responsibilities."
"Like the time he forgot Inuyasha in the woods," Larika pointed out, waving her hand in exasperation.
"Or when he almost skewered Sesshoumaru during their training," Izayoi said, shaking her head in disgust.
"Remember the time he bought you red shoes to go with you rpink hair ribbon?"
"And when he bought your ball gown two sizes too big," the woman reminded.
"And then said that that was my usual size!"
"That was such a male chauvinistic remark! I am surprised you have stayed with him for so long."
"Almost two centuries," Larika mourned, rubbing her temple.
"Would you like some of the muffins I made for breakfast?" the human offered with a bright smile.
"Oh, I do adore them."
Chatting excitedly, the two exited, leaving the confused youkai lord alone in the dark room.
What the hell just happened?
'You decided to get married. Twice. That's what happened.'
Lord Inutaisho, ruler of the Western Lands, Leader of the Dog Demons, owner of the three mightiest swords in Japan, was absolutely powerless against an enemy that had plagued mankind since the dawn of time…Females.
'It's all a dream. Soon you're going to wake up and you will be a single bachelor again, roaming your lands with all the freedom the universe has to offer. It's all a dream--'
"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaad! Sesshoumaru took my ball again!"
"I did not!"
"Did too!"
"Liar!"
"Owwwwww! Jerk!"
"Itai! Dweeb!"
"Oh yeah! Well…well…at least I'm gonna get the cool sword!"
"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!"
He wondered if Ryuukotsusei wasn't too busy today…
Itai: Japanese's version of ouch
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