Title: Human Interlude
Summary: "If I'm not human, what am I?" (Ninth Doctor & Rose)
Author's Notes: Bred from general raised-eyebrow-ness this afternoon regarding the TV programme mentioned in this fic.
They were watching the Father Dowling Mysteries, for lack of anything else. The Doctor seemed to find it terminally amusing; the whole plot seemed rather contrived to Rose.
"What I don't get," she said during a lull in the action, "is why he bothers getting involved at all. I mean, if he gave the police half a chance, who's to say they wouldn't solve the crime themselves?"
The Doctor scoffed. "Yeah – just like if we gave the humans half a chance, they'd save themselves once in a while? Not likely."
She opened her mouth to protest, when something about what he'd said struck her as odd. "'If we gave the humans half a chance…'" she repeated out loud.
He glanced at her. "What?"
"Well – they way you said it, it sort of sounded like… like I wasn't human."
"Oh." He shifted uncomfortably and glanced at her again, more furtively this time. "Is that a good thing or not?"
She frowned. "I don't know exactly."
"Oh," he said again, trying to get back into the programme but failing miserably.
"I mean," she said after a while, "if I'm not human, what am I?"
He grimaced. "Look, Rose, I didn't mean that you weren't human, I just meant that… well, you're better than them, now. The average human couldn't have done half the things you have. You've heard me say it before – humans are idiots. Thick. But you're not."
"Making me… what?"
He didn't reply straight away, but when he did, what he said shocked her. "Well, since I'm the only Gallifreyan left, I think that gives me the right to grant citizenship to whoever I like… including you. If you want it, that is."
She grinned at him. "If I say yes, do I have to go in for the whole two hearts and general arrogance thing?"
He laughed. "No! And what d'you mean, arrogance? I am superior – everyone knows it."
On the screen, Father Dowling had solved the murder and was dealing with some light comic relief back at the church. "The priest saves the day again," muttered the Doctor. "Oh, look at that, there's a goat loose in the vestry!" When he'd finished laughing, he turned to her. "So? You feel like pledging allegiance to Gallifrey, then?"
She saluted smartly. "Just call me… something weird."
He grabbed her hand. "Come with me, something weird, and I'll show you the universe."