The Way You Make Me Feel Chapter 12: Epilogue, a jag fanfic

This is the end, folks. It's time for some notes of thanks.
First off to my betas "eridani" and "alix33" for your great work. Just in case I haven't said it before: "You rock and your work has always been appreciated."

And secondly to all the readers out there, those who left a review and those who silently enjoyed, I hope you had as much fun reading this story as I had writing it.

And last but surely not least to Zosia. You keep distracting me with your challenges :D, but you always had an open ear and good ideas when I got stuck. Hope I can provide you with some in return :P. Thanks for everything so far.

Just a quick reminder, this story started right after "4 Percent Solution" so Mattie's still perfectly fine.

The song used between the paragraphs is from Marc Terenzi. It's called "Love to be loved by you" and was his wedding gift for his fiancée Sarah Connor (so all credits go to him). I find this song absolutely fitting for a wedding; that's why it is in here.

-Epilogue-

I can't believe I'm standing here
Been waiting for so many years and
Today I found the Queen to reign my heart
You changed my life so patiently
And turned it into something good and real
I feel just like I felt in all my dreams
There are questions hard to answer
Can't you see…

I'm not nervous, nor worried or afraid. For in my heart, there is no place for any worries about the future or about our careers. What matters, is the here and now, the complete and uttermost happiness that's spreading its wings over me. I can feel it with every fiber of my heart that what we're going to do is right. I've never been surer about a thing in my life – not even when I decided to join the Marine Corps, the one place that felt like home and offered me some kind of family. And there no longer is this fear I harbored for so long that I can't even remember when I first felt it. The fear that with openly admitting my love for Harm I might lose his friendship on the way. I'll be forever thankful that quite the opposite came true – while our love blossomed and we reveled in new experiences, our friendship drew strength from these newly found bonds.

It all comes down to me sitting here in the middle of the big room the church uses as a bride's room, waiting for the moment the door opens and I can walk down the aisle to where Harm will be waiting for me.

I'm perfectly calm, but the people around me seem to be extraordinarily nervous.

Trish has hovered around me for almost forty minutes now, picking an imaginary bit of fluff from my dress here, smoothing some wrinkle there. And for the probably twenty-fifth time she tells me, "You look absolutely gorgeous, Sarah", when she tucks a tiny white flower back to its place in my hair that it never left in the first place. Although I have to confess that I enjoy her tenderness, her motherly care.

At my other side Harriet isn't much calmer either. She on the other hand, keeps her hands to herself but never stops walking around the room, checking my appearance from every possible position.

"Are you sure you have everything?" she asks when she stops for a moment, tilting her head slightly to the right looking at me.

"Yeah, I have Trish's old pearls," I touch the necklace that highlights my décolleté. "I have the new blue suspender." I can hear giggles erupting from my left side but choose to ignore them for the time being. "And I have your earrings." I have to say that I've fallen in love with Harriet's plain silver rose shaped earrings the first time I saw her wear them. I'm very glad she allowed me to put them on today. "Everything's in order, you should really calm down a bit, Harriet," I finish.

"Somebody should be nervous; this is a wedding after all. And if it's not the bride, who better than the matron-of-honor?" she reasons and gives me this brilliant smile that magically appeared on her face the day Harm and I told her and Bud about our engagement – the day we came back from Nevada five months ago. And it has never disappeared since.

I've asked her about it this morning when she picked me up at my apartment.

All she answered was, "I feel like I'm getting married all over again. I thought I would never see the day."

I roll my eyes at the thought – guess Harm and I weren't the only ones driven crazy by the dance we shared. In hindsight things seem so much easier than they were back then. And I hardly understand anymore why it took us almost nine years to figure it out.

Another giggle pulls me out of my reverie, so I turn my head towards the couch that's placed directly beneath the big window. Bright sunlight floods through the glass, drawing yellow squares onto the dark wooden floor and bathing the two figures on the couch in the warm August light. I focus back onto the laughter, squinting against the light to make out the two girls. It feels good hearing Chloe and Mattie laugh together. Before they met, both Harm and I were quite nervous about how well they would get along. After all, they are part of our families. But the two girls, that are so close in age and in character, hit it off right from the start. Soon enough they ganged up against the two of us adults, driving us crazy. Yet I'm still proud to call both of them my bridesmaids.

"What?" I ask.

"Nothing," Chloe says while Mattie shakes her head before both whisper something and start giggling again.

I shake my head, teenagers.

I close my eyes and lean back in the armchair. Ten more minutes before the music starts, ten more minutes before I can step out of this room. Why does it have to take that long? I've been ready ten minutes ago already and could have been almost married by now. A sigh escapes my lips.

"Are you okay, Sarah?"

I open my eyes and look at the owner of the voice. He leans against the wall right next to the door he's going to lead me through in a couple more minutes, just as if he's tired of waiting too.

"Everything's fine, perfect even. I'm just tired of waiting," I answer honestly.

"Still impatient, aren't we? I still remember when you were young and we first went dinosaur track hunting. I never was fast enough for you. Before I could even reach a track and inspect it, you already had made up a story about what happened."

"I've been quite patient with the sailor out there," I reply, nodding my head towards the door.

"That's nothing to do with patience, dearest Sarah, that's been plain stupidity," Uncle Matt replies back goodheartedly and earns a round of laughter from everybody present, including me.

As we share these laughs, I think about how grateful I am that he can be here with me, that he will share this special moment with us. I accepted that he wouldn't walk me down the aisle in the same way I did when I planned my wedding with Mic. But now more than back then I was sad about Matt missing this day in my life. He was the only real family I had left and he couldn't be there. But leave it to AJ Chegwidden and Gordon Cresswell to come up with the one thing I want the most, apart from Harm waiting for my at the altar.

It was about an hour ago when somebody knocked on the door to this very room. I knew that by then the guests had started to arrive and wondered who that might be. It was Trish who went to open the door, seeing that I was trapped in a chair in front of the mirror with Harriet fixing the last strands of hair.

"General, Admiral," she greeted.

I turned my head on impulse but got stopped by Harriet's hands on both sides of my face, gently turning my head back.

"Is there anything we can do for you gentlemen?" I heard Trish ask.

"We would like to talk to the bride for a moment," the general answered.

"I don't know –" my soon-to-be mother-in-law started but was interrupted by Harriet's "all finished" after which I immediately got up and crossed the room to meet the two men.

"Sorry to barge in, but we have something for you that can't wait."

I shot questioning glances in both their directions before the general continued.

"I was thinking about getting you something special. And when I called AJ about it, it seemed that we thought along the same lines."

"But –" I began to intervene, about to say that Harm and I would unpack our presents at the reception, when suddenly their present left me speechless.

With my mouth agape and most probably looking absolutely brainless I stared at the man that stepped up from behind them. He took two more steps around them and came to a stop right next to me. Finally, when I felt his smile warming my soul to the very core, my senses set back in and I was able to wrap my arms tightly around my uncle Matt.

Still unable to speak properly I simply squeezed out a single word, "How?"

"You have two friends in those men that care a lot about you, Sarah. They must have pulled quite a few strings to get me here today.

I hugged him once more before I let go and turned to face the admiral and the general. Both of them stood side by side, the tall bald man in his dress whites and the smaller marine in his dress blues, smiling at me. Without thinking I took the remaining step to close the distance between us. First I wrapped my arms around AJ to thank him. I still can't believe he did this for me, especially since I asked him to walk me down the aisle once again. I placed a quick kiss on his cheek, something he didn't seem to mind. Next I turned to Cresswell and met his smiling eyes. I as well saw his raised eyebrows and the slightly raised hand signaling me to think twice about hugging him – after all he had the picture of a mean marine to maintain. But right there and then, I couldn't care less, for I was a happy bride that just got the best wedding present ever, and I wanted to thank him. So I wrapped my arms around him as well. I however reframed from kissing him; that would have been too much.

"Thank you so much," I said once I got myself under control again and was standing beside my smiling uncle.

"You're welcome. We thought that at least someone from your family should be here today."

"I won't say that it made no difference whether Uncle Matt is here today or not, because it made a great difference, but you are wrong about the family. You and the people in there," I pointed towards the middle ship of the church, "you are my family. And I'm glad that I can share this day with you".

Both men nodded their heads and I could feel Matt's hand reaching for mine.

"We've now occupied enough of your time. I'm sure you still need to get a million things done," the admiral said, once he looked me up and down and realized that I was still clad in shirt and jeans.

"Thank you," I repeated.

"Carry on, Colonel." Obviously Cresswell couldn't suppress that last comment before he turned to follow AJ back to the other guests.

"Aye, sirs," I replied with a broad smile. "Come on in, Uncle Matt."

I waited till he passed me so I could close the door behind us.

"Ladies, this is Matt O'Hara, my Uncle Matt."

He was greeted warmly in return.

"There's something I wanted to give to you, Sarah," he said once he had shaken the hands of everybody.

"Oh, you don't need to get me anything. Your being here is already more than I could have hoped for."

"No, that was your gift from Admiral Chegwidden and General Cresswell," he said taking my right hand into his left. "But this, this is from me."

He pulled a small rose bush from behind his back.

"But –" I trailed off, reaching for the pot with red roses.

"This is for you to start your own rose garden, so that you'll always know where to find your sailor."

"Oh, Uncle Matt." The first tears found their way out of my eyes when I wrapped my arms around my uncle once more. "You still remember this?" I whispered.

"Sure do, sweetheart. But no more tears, you don't want to have red eyes before you even go out there, do you?"

"No," I smiled, brushing away my tears.

Now the rose bush stands on the end table beside Chloe and Mattie, soaking up the incoming sunlight, as the sign that binds the past to the future, the future that is about to begin.

-J-A-G-

Baby, tell me how can I tell you
That I love you more than life!
Show me how can I show you
That I'm blinded by your light!
When you touch me I can touch you
To find out the dream is true!
I love to be loved by you!

-T-O-P-

-G-U-N-

I stand a little off to the side, away from the benches that will soon be filled with people. At the moment I'm left alone with time enough to contemplate my thoughts and to look around to take in the atmosphere of the day. I never want to forget a single thing about today.

I look up towards the double oak doors of the church, through which our guests stroll in. Everybody seems to be in a good mood. Laughter and easy voices flow through the room from the various small groups of people that have formed here and there. I let my gaze sway over the benches, let it rest on people that we consider friends, people that are here to share our happiness.

My eyes come to rest on the young man that's constantly alternating between the first row and the altar. I watch as little AJ walks back to his seat. He climbs up onto the wooden bench, his feet not yet reaching down to the ground when he sits. He adjusts the small pillow on his knees. I don't hear him over the distance, but I clearly see him mutter something just before he slips down from the bench and starts towards the altar again. I guess he is repeating the words the chaplain would say and which are his starting signal. After a few moments he reaches his designated place and stops. Carefully he raises his hands and with them the pillow, presenting it to the imaginary people standing there, the people that in a couple of minutes will be me and Sarah. I have to smile about the eagerness with which the young boy practices his job. He will be a perfect ring bearer. AJ then turns to head back for the bench once again. This is when he spots me watching him. His determined face lights up in a bright smile and he waves his little hand at me. I smile and wave back at him. With a happy smile on his face he returns to the bench, to start the process anew. Not being able to turn my eyes from the adorable sight, I keep watching him for a little while longer.

Finally I tear my eyes away. Letting them wander a bit further. They settle on my grandmother Sarah. I'm so very glad that she is here today, there would be something missing, if she weren't. So I drove to Pennsylvania myself to bring her down here. This woman was there for me through my darkest hours, she should be there for the brightest too. And when I first introduced her to my bride, there was an immediate connection between the two Sarahs. My grandmother had said that she felt like she had known Sarah MacKenzie for years already, and that she knew that she was the woman for me simply from the way I always talked about her. Sarah and I just smiled about that – maybe we should have listened to ourselves more closely to spare us some time and pain.

Concentrating back on the here and now, I observe my grandmother talking to Frank who sits next to her. I hear his laughter drifting towards me and his smiling face makes me happy. I'm as equally pleased that he is here as I am about my grandmother's presence. After all, this is the one man I might never have given a real chance to be my father but who always cared about me like a father does. I only realized this when I took in Mattie – that it isn't about replacing one dad with the other, but merely having someone else care for you when the other can't.

The place next to Frank is empty, surely held free for my mother, who currently is with Sarah and the bridal company.

Sarah. I can't help the contented smile that is forming on my lips again when I think about the fact that her given name now crosses my lips more often. For Sarah is all of the woman I love. Mac's just a part of her. Mac's the strong and independent marine that can handle a hostage crisis or a rifle shootout. Mac's the skilled lawyer that could convince a jury with a passionate statement or the judge that is objective and not to be fooled around with. All of this is Mac, but it still isn't all of her. Sarah, that's the woman outside the uniform. She's the tender and caring lover I got to know these last five months. She is the ever loyal friend I've had all these years. The friend that always stood by my side, firm and strong. Sarah's the woman that will wrap her arms around me when I need a shoulder to cry on. But she is also vulnerable and easy to hurt. A person that needs some arms to support her every now and then. Sarah is the woman that completes me in ways I never thought were incomplete before. Yet together we have found a strength I haven't experienced up until now.

I continue scanning the small crowd. I see Chloe's grandparents, who welcomed me warmly into their family the day Sarah first took me there to personally tell them the happy news. There is Teresa Coulter and I remember our first meeting in Arizona and how she told me that she wished she wasn't that attracted to me. Theresa has become a very good friend over the years. Next to her are Skates and a man Elisabeth introduced as her husband when they first arrived. My RIO, I can't help but still think of her that way, had hugged me and whispered, "Glad you finally made it to your best friend's wedding". I gave her a small smile in return. I'm still feeling guilty over the fact that we ended up in the icy waters that night so long ago. The group behind them consists of people from the office. Among them are Gunny, who managed to get here from wherever he is currently stationed, Tiner, who's nearly finished with OCS and will soon be a lawyer himself, Jen, Mattoni with his wife and Sturgis and Varese, who offered to sing a few songs at the reception. Things between Sturgis and I are still somewhat tense, but right now that doesn't matter. He's one of my oldest friends and we should probably start getting over what has been and what better day for a new beginning than today? I even spot a few of the judges in the group.

Letting my eyes wander back over the aisle they fall onto Bud, Mike, Cammie Cresswell and her mother. I wonder whether the two midshipmen have started dating yet. I know from the three thin bars Mike wears so proudly that he is allowed to now – at least according to Academy regulations, but who knows about the general. For a brief moment I'm reminded of my last year at the Academy; it was a great time. The two midshipmen each hold one of the Roberts twins. As far as I understood they volunteered to take care of the two lively six-month-old babies throughout the ceremony. I guess Dora and Bud are providing them with some last minute tips.

Then there is the man who set it all in motion. Maverick and Charlie stand together with Tom Boone, AJ Chegwidden and General Cresswell. From the looks of it Admiral Boone is telling some story while the others listen closely. The next moment I see him nod in my direction before the rest of the group all turn their heads to look at me. I shoot them a happy smile. However, once they turn back their heads, I see both Chegwidden and Cresswell nod probably to agree with what he just said. I shake my head. Guess I don't want to know what the Admiral told them about me. So I turn my attention somewhere else.

It's my brother who captures it. Sergei and his wife arrived in the States four days ago and the four of us had a great time. Imagine that he never told Galinka how we met. So we had a lot to catch up on. He now sits close to her, holding her hand and talking to her. A few Russian words drift my way. Words I don't understand, but they must mean something nice for Galinka softly cups his chin and leans in to place a soft kiss on my brother's lips. I can only hope that Sarah and I will still have the same sparks flying between us after some years of marriage. A soft sigh escapes my lips.

"You nervous, buddy?" I didn't even realize that Keeter had walked up to me.

I turn my head and am greeted by his grinning face.

"Fine."

"Then why do you look so pale?" he questions, slapping my shoulder and then letting his hand rest there.

"I'm not looking pale. I'm fine, really." How can't I be? This is the best day of my life.

"Believe it Harm, you're almost as white as your uniform. Hey Bud, what do you say, doesn't the groom look pale?"

Bud, who left his kids to join us, stops in his tracks and looks me up and down.

"A little, maybe. But don't worry, sir, it's quite normal that you're feeling nervous. I was a total wreck the day I married Harriet. And look how that worked out."

"I'm not a nervous wreck," I answer, looking first at Jack and then at Bud. But neither takes me seriously, so I finally give in. "Okay, I might be a little nervous." 'A little' is quite an understatement. My hands are all sweaty and my heart bounces wildly in my chest. After all I've been waiting for this day for what feels like forever.

"Just wait, once you'll see your pretty Colonel walk down this aisle, you'll calm down in a matter of seconds," Keeter says.

I look at my old friend, my brow raised when I ask, "Who made you the expert on weddings?"

"I never said that I'm an expert. I just saw this coming for years."

I roll my eyes at him, not another one. Why has everybody seen it, but nobody bothered to tell us?

"You remember that time when you had to fly that bird out of the desert? That hug you and Mac shared then, this was something beyond colleagues, beyond friendship. And I was the one that spent days with her in the desert. After that I had a pretty good idea of what you meant to her."

"And you never bothered to tell me?" I ask disbelievingly.

"Would you have listened to me, and acted on it? You probably would have discarded it as something I imagined. I can't count the times you told me that you and Mac were just friends."

I nod my head, most likely he was right.

"Don't let it bother you, sir. You're here now and that's what counts." I can't believe how much Bud has changed over the years. I still remember the clumsy Lieutenant JG he was when he first transferred to JAG. But the man that now stands in front of me is wise beyond his years and the Lieutenant Commander bars he wears. I am lucky to count him as a friend and my best man.

-J-A-G-

You're looking kind of scared right now
You're waiting for the wedding vows
But I don't know if my tongue's able to talk
Your beauty is just blinding me
Like sunbeams on a summer stream
And I gotta close my eyes to protect me
Can you take my hand and lead me
From here please yeah…

-T-O-P-

-G-U-N-

Within three minutes, if everything goes according to plan, till Mattie and Chloe will be the first to leave the room. And after that Harriet, which leaves Uncle Matt and me alone in the room for a brief moment.

All of a sudden I start feeling nervous. I keep rethinking everybody's positions, every minute detail. How Harriet will walk down the aisle just before me. How Bud's face will light up once he sees his wife in this simple cut, yet amazing dress, whose color is a dark slate blue. Then she will come to stand next to my bridesmaids, turning back to where she came from.

I imagine Mattie and Chloe almost floating to where the groom and groomsmen wait at the end of the aisle. They decided to walk together and spent hours on end training for the right pace. I still find it incredible that the little girl who wanted to be my flower girl some years back, now so easily fits into the role of bridesmaid. And that the other, whom I've known for not even two years, is so close to me now, that I haven't thought twice about asking her to be the second bridesmaid.

In the end I picture Jimmy walking towards the altar first, hopefully throwing some of the flowers on the way and not like yesterday at the rehearsal when he sprinted down the aisle, despite Harriet's efforts to make him walk slowly, and quite literally bathed Harm's feet in an ocean of rose petals. One just has to love this little boy, especially since he's absolutely adorable in his miniature tuxedo.

A smile creeps to my lips and I draw confidence from the knowledge that all my friends and family are here today. And no matter what, everything will be just perfect for this wedding.

I focus back on the present in time to see the two teenagers reaching for the small bouquets of flowers they will carry. I watch as they flatten the last wrinkles in the dresses. Both Chloe and Mattie look up to meet my eyes, and both give me happy smiles, a smile I can easily return. The next moment they open the door, walk out and only three of us are left. I hear the soft tunes of the song Harm and I chose drift into our room.

I can't remain sitting in my chair, so I get up and walk over to the full-length mirror. I stare at my reflection as I walk up in an ivory wedding gown. I still remember how it was Mattie who found the dress when I had already tried on what felt like a hundred others. And it was a perfect fit, only a few changes needed to be made.

It's a marvelous dress. There is a shorter dress, simply cut, straight lines, fitting my body perfectly. It's strapless and ends just above my knees. There are no ornaments except a small triangle of delicate flowers embroidered just above my breasts, highlighting them a little more. Yet the flowers are woven into the light material in a way that they are barely seen except when they shimmer silkily in the right light. On top of that I wear a matching coat. It falls straight down to the floor, just as plainly cut as the dress, and forms a trail in the back. Nothing much, just the hint of a train. It is long sleeved with a standup collar that almost reaches my ears. It closes with four buttons underneath my chest, revealing the décolleté of the dress below. Starting from my waist downward the coat sways open when I walk, showing my legs. The dress's embroidered flowers repeat themselves at my elbows and run down in a thin line only to open up into yet another triangle at the hem of each of the sleeves, as well as on the edging of the trail.

I stared at my reflection for a few seconds for I could still hear the song playing – the music will stop for a brief moment just before Harriet starts to walk down the aisle. Closing my eyes I see Harm standing at the altar, now waiting for Chloe and Mattie to complete their walk. And while I see him standing there, with Bud beside him and the Chaplain to his right, the image wavers and the scenery changes. However, Harm stays the same, waiting for me at the end of the way.

I still feel the chilly evening air as I walk towards him. I'm wrapped up in the sweatshirt I brought down from the house. My eyes sway from Harm to the ocean behind him. Just a few steps from where he's waiting for me, the Atlantic meets the beaches of Maine in a gentle roll, filling the air with a constant humming.

"Did I tell you that I love it out here?" I say when I stop next to him.

"It's wonderful, isn't it?" He wraps his arms around me and starts rubbing my back. I immediately feel much warmer.

"How did you find this place?" Looking around me I take in the scenery that lies quietly in the fading light. There is no house, no other human being as far as I can see. We're totally alone.

Harm doesn't reply immediately. Instead he lets go of me, taking my hand he leads me further towards the water. For a moment we stand there in silence, watching as the waves roll in.

"I promised you to make it special." Harm's voice is soft, just barely above a whisper. His words seem to dance on the waves, rolling in and out with them, resounding in my head and in my heart.

A shiver runs down my spine. So it's going to happen this weekend. I suspected it the moment Harm asked me to wrap up my cases not 36 hours ago.

"A little getaway," he said when I asked him why.

Yet now, that we're standing here, my hand wrapped in his, the light wind playing through my hair, it is completely different from a simple suspicion or the dream I had ever since we came back from Fallon. Now this is for real.

"Let's take a walk."

I nod my head and turn left. We walk along the beach, just above the waterline. I don't know why, but not a word is said, we both seem to be lost in the silence around us, maybe trying to savor the peacefulness. After a while I feel the wind pick up a bit, not enough to chill me really, but enough to make me move a little nearer to Harm. Looking at me with a smile he wraps his arm around me, pulling me even closer. That's when I realize that over the past minutes the light has changed. What was bathed in orange then is now glowing in a fiery red.

"Harm, look," I say stopping in my tracks to turn around and face the ocean and the horizon.

We are both captured by the beautiful spectacle nature lets us witness. I've seen beautiful sunsets in DC too, but this is something completely different and it feels like we are the only people in the world seeing it, like this is our very own private sunset.

Transfixed I keep staring at the red ball that vanishes into the waves. It isn't before Harm starts to speak, that I realize that his hand has slipped from my shoulder and is now holding mine. When I turn my head to look at him, this isn't the only thing that's changed. For a second my eyes search the space directly in front of my face, where I expected to see him, before they drop down and find Harm down in the sand, on one knee.

I take a deep breath while my head keeps repeating 'This is it, this is it.' Suddenly, the shivers are back.

"Sarah, I promised I would make it up to you. And I know that you've been waiting for this for quite a long time. God knows so have I. So here we are – just you and me. This is the place and time where I want to properly ask you Sarah MacKenzie, 'Will you marry me?'."

I watch as he opens a small box. Immediately the last of the red rays of light get caught in the single stone that's held in the middle of the silver band. It starts to glow like a fire is lit inside, the same fire that now burns in my heart, quickly taking hold of my whole body.

I nod my head, unable to form any words. Then an "oh my god," escapes my lips as my brain finally starts to register what just happened. I drop to my knees in front of Harm and wrap my arms around him in a swift motion. My lips find his without delay. My kiss clearly speaks of the answer my brain was incapable to formulate before.

However, when we part I confirm it with a "Yes, definitely yes". I place another, quicker kiss on his lips before I add, "I love you, Harm".

His face lights up in a smile, not the cocky flyboy smile he has down so well, but the flyboy smile that speaks of all the love he feels. Harm leans back on his heels, pulling his arms free from behind my back. I once again am captured by the beauty of the ring that's nestled into the black velvet. Slowly he reaches for it while I hold out my hand.

Gently placing it onto my finger he says, "I love you Sarah,"

"Sarah." It's a different voice, repeating my name.

Shaking my head, I break out of my daydream. Uncle Matt stands right in front of me looking worried.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes."

"We need to go in a second," he says holding out his arm for me to take.

I look around the room, and indeed find Harriet gone. Quickly I reach for my bouquet of flowers before I link arms with Uncle Matt. Not a moment too soon – the wedding march just started playing. Before we leave the room, I cast a last glance at the rose bush my uncle brought – the roses burning in a bright red in the August sun.

Uncle Matt and I first need to walk along a smaller passageway before we arrive at the church's main entrance and can start down the aisle. And right where our way meets with the aisle, there he stands – Clayton Webb, first leaned against one of the columns half hidden in the shadows, but stepping into the light once he sees us approaching.

My eyes instantly lock onto him. He wears his usual three piece suit. And I have to say that he looks good, something I wouldn't have expected, if I were quite honest. His eyes never leave mine as Uncle Matt and I move towards him on our way. Once we're close enough I see a smile on Clay's lips.

When we arrive at the place he stands I hear his whispered, "Congratulations. You deserve this happiness, Sarah".

Surprised I turn my head and I see, that even though his smile looks kind of sad, he still meant what he said. I can tell from the look in his eyes, this is something he can't hide behind the mask of a CIA agent.

In the next second we're already past him and Clay stepped back into the dim light, yet I can still feel his eyes on me. And I am glad I do, because it means a lot to me that he is here today. I know that there was a time when I wouldn't have been, but once I sorted through all that was our relationship, before and after Paraguay, it came down to the fact that Clay was, and maybe still is, a friend. And not just mine, but Harm's too. I keep pondering Clay for a bit longer.

Until the moment we reach the start of the aisle and turn to face to the altar. This is when I first spot Harm, standing their in his dress whites waiting for me. And as we slowly proceed, in tune with the music, everything outside the line that runs between Harm and me drifts out of focus. There is just the two of us in this world.

-J-A-G-

-T-O-P-

-G-U-N-

I take a deep breath to compose myself when it's time to walk up to the altar. Sergei comes to join us and steps in between Bud and Keeter when they line up behind me. Once we're standing there, I feel myself getting a little calmer. It might be due to the fact, that Bud stands right behind me and radiates a strong confidence or that I keep repeating his words in my head. "You're here now and that's what counts." I know that he is right.

I cast a last glance over the present guests, everybody's there. The opening of a door behind me makes me turn slightly. Chaplain Turner, who's well again, gets out of a small room to resume his place.

The moment he does, the music starts. I know it's a song both Sarah and I have chosen, but I can't remember the title for the life of me, though I'm sure it's not important now anyway. As if the soft tunes were an unmistakable signal, the audience goes completely silent. For a while nothing happens.

Then I see a little blond boy round the corner and start down the way towards me. I can see his bright smile as he sticks his right hand into the basket he's holding. Soon after, the first handful of rose petals lands on the floor. I don't know what Harriet and Bud did, but today the two-year-old is walking slowly yet still having the time of his life scattering the petals. I can hear his laughter drifting towards me as his eyes follow the dance of the petals he'd tossed into the air.

A few steps behind Jimmy Mattie and Chloe are walking side by side. Both are clad in similar dresses and it seems like they've grown so much since I last saw them for lunch yesterday. I know that both of them are young women already, but it's somehow easier to ignore that when they wear jeans and a sweatshirt instead of a tight fitting gown. I will probably never adjust to the fact that Mattie won't stay the way she was when we first met. And I still remember Chloe as the bubbly child that hid on the elevator. Nevertheless, as they are now walking down the aisle so graciously in their dazzling dresses, I can't suppress the image that it soon might be either of them to walk down a similar aisle last.

By now Jimmy has reached us and runs to his father. Out of the corner of my eye I see Bud leaning down and kissing his son's head before he turns him around and shows him in the direction where his older brother sits. The boy strolls over and is picked up by Chloe's grandmother to be seated next to her. She takes the basket from his hands and whispers something in Jimmy's ear, after which he claps his little hands together happily.

When I turn my eyes back to the two bridesmaids, they are mere feet away from me and I am greeted by their bright smiles. The two girls are literally beaming with pride. They slowly come to a stop at their assigned places, now waiting like the rest of the party.

A new song picks up after a moment of silence after Mattie and Chloe reached the altar. I know that this is Harriet's sign to start. We wait some more before she too turns the corner. The sharp intake of breath next to me tells me that I'm not the only one thinking that Harriet looks absolutely stunning. From the moment she can see us, her eyes are fixed on Bud and they never leave him for the whole way. It seems like he's her guideline. Their gazes only part when she turns left to stand next to Chloe.

Again the music stops and all of a sudden butterflies flutter in my stomach. The feeling sends a pricking through my whole body and makes me shiver inside.

This is the moment.

The wedding march starts.

Seconds creep by dreadfully slowly. The world around me seems to fall into a haze. Where I heard the rustling of dresses or the clicking of cameras before, all that reaches my ear now are the muted notes of the wedding march. I feel the beating of my heart in every part of my body. All my muscles seem to be throbbing in a synchronized rhythm. I find it hard to breathe.

It takes a lifetime for the two people to complete the short way to the start of the aisle.

But then she is there, on the arm of her uncle. Our eyes connect instantly. It's then, that I calm down completely. There is nothing to be nervous about. Sarah is there and she is coming to me. This is the end of a dance that lasted nine years.

Without ever breaking the bond between our eyes, I can still see every tiny detail of her. I see the petite white flowers that are nestled into the strands of her hair. I follow the line of pearls around her neck that seem to shine. I can't ignore the tone of her skin that contrasts so marvelously against the color of her dress. I realize the red roses her bouquet consists of. And I see the sparkling of her engagement ring, whenever some flashlight gets caught in it.

The moment I first saw the sparkling ring on her finger is still a vivid memory in my heart.

I know that this is the perfect moment. The last rays of sunlight dance on the waves and the incoming waters hum a soft song. I speak the words without hesitation and they come right from the heart. I look up at Sarah; see how she struggles with the words. But I know that it isn't because she doesn't know the answer, but because it's hard to finally put something into words that you have kept secret for so long. The next moment however, her lips give me an answer that can't be misunderstood. The one answer I've been waiting for.

"Yes, definitely yes," I hear her say.

And even though I knew it, it still amazes me. Sarah MacKenzie has officially said yes to me. Her next words bring it home even more.

"I love you, Harm."

The smile that builds on my lips is something that comes naturally, for it reflects all the emotion inside of me. This very moment I feel like I could fly. The one dream, I've been dreaming for so long has finally come true.

I reach for the ring and gently place it on her finger.

"I love you Sarah."

It is then, that I see the tiny rays of light that dance over her hand when they are reflected and broken by the diamond that's in the middle of the silver band. The light draws a rainbow of colors on her hand and I can't keep myself from staring at it. I can't stop looking at the way it dances over her hand when she moves her muscles. I'm fascinated by the contrast between the colors, the tone of her skin and the darkness that slowly falls around us.

All these tiny details add up to a composition that fits her perfectly.

It's a perfection I will forever connect with the moment when nothing else mattered but the fact that Sarah MacKenzie was walking towards me on her wedding day.

-J-A-G-

I know they're gonna say our love's not strong enough to last forever
And I know they gonna say that we'll give up because of heavy weather
But how can they understand that our love is just heaven-sent
We keep on going on and on cause this is where we both belong…

-T-H-E-

-E-N-D-