By AD
Summary: Sesshomaru, Rin and Jaken find a book of 'revised' fairy tales and decide to read it. Oooh, I see something funny coming out of this…BTW, they put themselves in the story.
Warnings: crude humor, Sesshy's bad mouth, and some really weird ooc moments from Rin and Sesshy. O.O
Disclaimer: Do you think I would be writing a FAN fiction if I had any affiliation to Ms. Rumiko Takahashi? Nah, I think not…And I do not own the fairy tales either. O.o I don't know who does, but go you.
&&&
story version goes here
&&&
One day, in the middle of the feudal era in Japan, a really powerful demon strolled down a path in a forest. Ok, he didn't stroll. The Lord of the Western Lands, Sesshomaru did not stroll. He simple walked with graceful fluid movements and his silvery hair flowed back dramatically. Yep, he was a bishie.
Walking behind him was an adorable little girl named Rin. It seemed somewhat odd for a human to follow around Sesshomaru, let alone Sesshy letting a little girl follow him. Yet, the demon lord allowed her to skip and hum in his wake. He didn't show any emotion about it, but we can all guess he has a soft spot for her.
Behind them is a not-so-adorable-or-beautiful little demon dude named Jaken. Poor, poor Jaken. He was always tortured by Sesshomaru one way or the other and had to put up with Rin's constant chattering and teasing. He was the scapegoat and Sesshomaru's retainer. Poor little frog dude…
Anyway, those were just the descriptions. On with the story!
"Sesshomaru-sama, Rin is getting tired!" Rin complained suddenly, stopping her cheerful frolicking.
The demon lord paused and turned to her. "Fine. We'll rest here for a moment."
"Lord Sesshomaru, we are just days away from the next town, so perhaps we can—," Jaken began, but Sesshomaru glared at him.
"I do not wish to trifle with humans today. We'll stay here."
Jaken trembled slightly and bowed his head. "Y-yes, M'lord…"
Rin giggled. "You're funny, Master Jaken!"
"…" Jaken scowled, but did not say anything to the girl. If he did, boy would Sesshomaru kick his ass…
Growing immediately bored of just sitting around, Rin ran off to gather some flowers. Sesshomaru sat on a large rock, probably thinking about how he would kill his half demon brother…and Jaken had to follow Rin to make sure she didn't get hurt.
"Hmm…" Rin started to hum again, picking random flowers that grew along the path's edge. She was innocent just like any other human her age. Jaken could hardly stand it.
"Must you continue that awful human racket, you brat?" He demanded, waving Nintoujou around to represent his annoyance.
"Hey, Rin's not a brat!" Rin shouted back, glaring.
"You are too!"
"Nuh uh!"
"Yes!"
"Nuh uh!" Rin started to run past him. "I'm telling Sesshomaru-sama you were mean!"
"Aiee, don't!" Jaken cried out in fear, running after the girl. "Lord Sesshomaru will skin me alive—oomp!"
He fell flat on his face and into the dirt. He heard Rin laugh at his misfortune and was unsurprisingly angered.
"Ooh!" He got up, ready to yell at the girl. But what he tripped over made him stop.
It was a multi-colored, strange looking book. Bizarre looking, really. The toad demon had never seen such a thing…other than those strange parcels Inu-Yasha's human wench always carried around from her time. He picked it up and noticed that there were words written on it.
"AD's Revised Version of Traditional Fairy Tales"Rin 'oooh'ed and clapped her hands. "Wow, a book! Would Lord Sesshomaru-sama want to see it?"
"Would I like to see what?" They turned and saw the demon lord peering over at them from his rock. He had probably heard everything they had been saying.
Jaken waddled up to his master and held up the book. "A book, sire. It seems to be from another world."
"Or time…" Sesshomaru murmured softly, recalling the image of Inu-Yasha's companion.
"Will you read it to Rin, Sesshomaru-sama?" Rin asked sweetly, her eyes shining with happiness. "Rin does not know how to read but would really like to know what it says!"
Cute little girls like that happen to be the feared demon lord's weakness. Sesshomaru grimaced but took it anyway. "Fine."
"Yay!" Rin cried happily.
"But stop yelling."
"Sorry, Sesshomaru-sama," Rin whispered as she scampered onto the rock. She sat down and looked up attentively, waiting for him to start reading.
"Only one chapter," Sesshomaru warned, opened it to the first page.
Little Red Riding Hood"What is a Riding Hood?" Rin questioned.
Sesshomaru answered truthfully, "I don't know." He continued to read. " 'One day a young girl nicknamed Little Red Riding Hood was sent by her mother with a basket of food to go visit her grandmother…'"
&&&
Little Red Riding Hood had long black hair and hazel eyes. She also liked to dance around and play in fields flowers. Her real name was Rin—
&&&
Rin squealed with joy. "She has Rin's name!"
Jaken snorted at the foot of the rock. "Hmp."
Sesshomaru rolled his eyes and continued.
&&&
"Mother, why does Rin have to go alone to grandmother's?" Rin asked her mother.
Her mother, also named Kagome, smiled warmly. "She is not feeling well and I think your company would make her feel better. But be mindful of the path you follow. You shouldn't stray, or otherwise theBig Bad wolf-dog will come and get you."
Only half-listening to her mother's warning, Rin set off with her basket of food. She hummed to her favorite tune and skipped down the dirt path.
&&&
Jaken scratched his head. "That does sound like Rin."
"Rin is in the story…?" Rin was surprised.
Sesshomaru shrugged. "Just a coincidence."
Rin tugged at his sleeve. "Keep reading?"
"Fine…"
&&&
As she continued down the path, she did not notice someone watching her from the bushes. He had long white hair that was unkempt and he had large yellow eyes. Two silver ears poked up out of his head—
&&&
Sesshomaru rolled his eyes. "Oh I know where this is going…"
&&&
out of his head and hand silver fangs. He stared after Rin hungrily.
"…Food…"
&&&
Sesshomaru cast Rin a glance, who was totally absorbed in the story. He made a mental note never to leave her near his younger brother. EVER.
&&&
The man continued to stalk the girl as she made her way further and further into the woods. Finally, he got tired of lagging behind and cut around the part of the woods and ended up in front of her at the beginning of the path. She stopped feet away from him, surprised.
"Hello little girl! What are you doing here in these woods?" He asked, putting on a friendly grin.
Rin smiled and waved back. "Hi! My name is Rin! Who are you?"
"I am known as Inu-Yasha."
"Well, Mr. Inu-Yasha, I am heading for my grandmother's house over on the other side of the woods with this basket of food."
Inu-Yasha smacked his lips and grinned back. "I see."
&&&
Sesshomaru almost closed the book. "This is boring."
"No, Lord Sesshomaru, please continue!" Rin begged, looking at him pitifully.
'Ugh,' Sesshomaru thought. 'Evil little girl smile…can't…resist…' "Alright, alright…"
&&&
Rin nodded and waved. "Rin gottas keep going, though. Rin needs to get there soon."
Inu-Yasha bit back a scowl and wondered if he should just eat her there. No one would see them. Then it hit him—her grandmother would be food as well! He snickered and continued his act. "Ok, Miss Rin. Get going then…heh...Heh…"
"Nice meeting you!" Rin called back over her shoulder as she continued to skip down the road. "La la la…"
Inu-Yasha laughed evilly to himself and slunk back into the woods, headed lightening fast ahead of Rin towards her grandmother's house.
&&&
Jaken laughed curtly. "He certainly is foolish not to eat the girl there."
Rin bit her lip. "She won't die, will she Sesshomaru-sama?"
"Of course not." Sesshomaru sent Jaken a warning glance. It was only luck for the poor toad that he was out of reach for his lord's wrath.
&&&
Inu-Yasha had snuck up to the old woman's cottage, chuckling gleefully. He knocked on the door and waited.
"Yes?" Came an elderly voice from behind the door.
Inu coughed and made his voice high-pitched. "I'm here, grandmother! It is I Rin!"
The door opened, revealing the old woman of the village, Kaede, holding a rolling pin. She caught the demon by surprise and she hit him over the head repeatedly. "GET AWAY FROM MY HOUSE!"
"OW—STOP IT—OUCH!" Inu-Yasha backed away, trying to flee from her weapon.
"DON'T MAKE ME HAVE TO GET THE VACUUM!" Kaede shouted angrily, switching to the broom that was leaning against her house. The rolling pin cracked in two after the first couple hits.
"OW—you know what, dammit, I'M JUST GONNA EAT YOU NOW!" Inu-Yasha shouted angrily.
And just like that, he ate her whole.
&&&
Rin gasped. "He ate her!"
"Obviously…" Jaken murmured.
Sesshomaru didn't reply. He actually liked the way the story was going at the moment…
&&&
Inu-Yasha quickly entered the cottage and dressed in the old woman's clothes.
&&&
Sesshomaru suddenly had a very disturbing picture of his half brother cross-dressing. "Eww…"
&&&
A short while later, he heard Rin approaching the cottage. He leaped into the bed and waited. The knock came a moment later.
"Grandmother, Rin has come!"
"Come in," Inu-Yasha replied in an old lady's voice.
Rin opened the door and appeared in the bedroom with a happy smile on her face. "Hello, grandmother! Rin has brought you some things to eat!"
"Ah, good, good…" Inu-Yasha continued in his high voice.
As she got closer, Rin hesitated. "…Grandmother, what large eyes you have."
"Um, better to see you with my dear. Come closer though."
Rin obeyed, but continued her questioning. "Grandmother, what a large nose you have."
"HEY!" Inu-Yasha felt insulting. "Er, I mean, better for smelling the food you brought, my dear."
"…and…" Rin bit her lip. "And what big teeth you have."
"Better to eat you with!" His hunger could not be contained any longer. He lunged at her, his claws and teeth bared. He opened his mouth and then swallowed her—
&&&
"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Rin clamped her eyes shut and screamed. Unfortunately right in Sesshomaru's sensitive ear, cause his leg to twitch, which kicked Jaken in the head.
"…what…is the matter, Rin?" Sesshomaru asked through gritted teeth.
"The girl…does she die?" The little girl asked sadly.
"…no…"
"Ok then."
Jaken rubbed his head. "Owie…"
"Keep reading, Sesshomaru-sama!" Rin smiled at the Inu-youkai.
"Ok…"
&&&
And then as he was ABOUT to swallow Rin whole, the front door burst open. It was Rin's father, Sesshoma—
&&&
Sesshomaru closed the book with a loud snap. "I can't read this."
Rin gave him the puppy-dog eyes. "Pleeeeeaaassseee, Sesshomaru-sama!"
"Curse these sentimental mortal feelings…" Sesshomaru muttered so quietly they didn't hear him. Nevertheless, he picked the book up again and began to read it again.
&&&
It was Rin's father, Sesshomaru. He looked really angry.
"GET THE FUCK OFF MY DAUGHTER!"
&&&
Sesshomaru paused and looked down at Rin. "Do you know what that word means?"
"Um, no?"
"Good. Forget it entirely."
"Ok."
&&&
Inu-Yasha and Sesshomaru both lunged at each other, but in the end, Sesshomaru defeated the big bad Inu-Yasha. He spat out Kaede too. Sesshomaru, Rin and Kaede went on to live happily ever after.
THE END
&&&
Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow. "That was very stupid and time wasting."
"Aw, Rin liked it!" Rin smiled. She pointed at the page. "Ooh, there's more stories! Can you read them, Lord Sesshomaru-sama? Please read to Rin?"
"…" Sesshomaru turned the page and looked down. "This is the tale of Cinderella…"
TBC
o.o that was weird. But I hope enough people liked it so I can continue it. WHOO FOR SESSHY AND RIN BONDING:D i am now an obsessed fan of the father-daughter realtionship between the two. nothing more...dirty minded people...XD j/k! please review!