AN: Hey all! Thank you for actually opening the link to this story. Um...Yeah, if you read the Return then this is just the beginning of it all, but if you haven't, these are some missing years of Lily and James Potter.

Disclaimer: NOT MINE!

Chapter 1: What You Didn't Know

The night of the horrid, wretched Halloween the Wizarding World stood still as a tiny baby, the son of famous couple James and Lily Potter defeated Voldermort, thus saving the entire World from the repulsive man's Dark powers. And while the world rejoiced, I, James Potter, stood in the dank, dark, dissonantly perfect street of 4 Privet Drive in Little Surrey, England with the heaviest heart and fire blazing out of my eyes at 5 in the morning, that same morning.

My life had come crashing and burning at my feet, my arm seared with mortal pain that seemed like a small pinch as I watched my former Headmaster Dumbledore chat with my Head of House at Hogwarts, Professor McGonagall. I heard her ask if what she had heard was true, the wise and annoyingly calm Headmaster answered, "the good, and the bad."

The good, Voldermort was gone, the dark cloud that had loomed over our precious world was lifted with the strength of one tiny man that resembled me like a Xerox copy. The bad, my wife Lily, my beautiful Lily, and I are dead, er "dead".

Lily, she stands in front of me in the dark alleyway behind one of the houses to look on as Dumbledore and McGonagall exchange words in front of my sister-in-laws house, waiting for the precious burden. My hand on her shoulder, I can feel her tremble, from the breeze or sadness or shock, I do not know, but I could identify with all those three.

Lily turned to me, with tearstained eyes and a few bandages on her brow from the attack, "tell me everything'll be ok," she pleads in a whisper.

I heard my heart finally break into pieces and drop somewhere in my stomach, "I can't make promises I can't keep Lil, goes against my better judgment," I smiled sadly, flicking a tear away from her eye, "but we'll survive, that's the only promise I'll make to you."

And I stood there, pondering where the hell I had gotten this honesty factor from and the fact that not long ago I was the most optimistic guy you'll ever meet. What happened to him? What happened to that guy that laughed at nearly nothing? Caused trouble for the sake of laughter and had the gayety and the naïve idea that nothing would harm me, and Good will always prevail over evil. Looking into those beautiful jewels in her eyes, I see the answer. He died miserably when I joined the Order, when my friends died, when my friends, some of them, turned into my own betrayers.

Friends. Oh God, the images that leap to my brain when I think of friends makes me weak in the knees. Sirius, Remus…Peter. I swear to God, if it hadn't been for my families life and Lily's trembling plea for me to stay, I would've gone after that piece of shit and shown him what pain was. But no pain could compare to the ache that took over my every fiber then when Voldermort knocked down my door, literally.

Peter, that bastard, was the cause for all this shit we were going through. If it wasn't for Sirius and my brilliant plan, I would probably be holding my baby boy in my arms with Sirius and Lily fighting about something in our living room of the house that exists no longer. No, it wasn't my fault, it wasn't Sirius fault at all! It was Peter's for joining, and Voldermorts of course. Not Sirius, never Sirius.

That man I had called my brother openly and had shared so much with, was never to be associated with the word "traitor". His loyalty to Lily and I goes so deep that right now, he's probably in the holding cell in Azkaban because of Peters mishaps. Well, if you're reading this, you know the story of what happened that night. But this is a perspective, a secret well hidden from the Wizarding World. And only two knew of this secret, Dumbledore and my best friend, Sirius Black himself.

A deal was made between Voldermort and Lily and I that night. Lily being more powerful then Voldermort himself and with the threat of the Prophecy looming over him, freaked out and threatened Lily and I into hiding, claiming he'd kill our baby boy if we didn't. And if we did, he promised that he would kill our treasured son so long as the two of us disappeared so we wouldn't be a threat to the bastard. But I don't even know what happened, the next thing I knew after negotiating was the tip of Voldermorts wand explode in green light. That horrible green jet of sparks, that seemed so innocent yet was so lethal, was going towards my son. I couldn't react, there was no blocking the Death Curse and plus, my feet had melted into the cement, I couldn't move as life became slow motioned so I could take in every dark, miserable detail of what would be sons end before he ever began. His beautiful emerald eyes were so fearful and I could see him blaming me, calling for me to go and save him, to fulfill my fatherly duties and rescue him. But I couldn't, and in those innocent, horrified eyes of my son I could see my own guilt, my own fault, the shadow that would loom over me for the rest of my life.

But the prolonged moment ended by a scream, not the guttural scream of the horrified mother standing next to me, not myself, and not my baby boy. The scream had come from the Dark Lord, the terror of Our world himself. His curse had backfired. My son was alive with a scar greatly resembling his mother's lightening rod on his forehead that was shinning fiercely.

A wisp of smoke passed between Lily and I, and Voldermort was gone. Lily, looking at me with shocked eyes, ran and grabbed Harry, vowing to never let anything ever harm again. And she had smiled at me, so hopeful about not having to fake our deaths. But I new Voldermort wasn't permanently gone, it was just a matter of time before he returned for he had simply broken a promise he had made with the most powerful witch in a Century. And I had to remind Lily painfully that we couldn't break the promise we had made him, his Dark magic would have worst consequences then White Magic. We would have to fake our own death.

Presently, a loud rumbling in the sky caught my attention, I knew that sound like I knew that back of my hand. That was Sirius's infamous flying motorcycle. How many times had I seen him sit on that thing with his helmet on and his long hair cramped inside it? How many times had I taken it out for a ride while Lily screamed about safety?

Landing in the street, Lily and I turned to face the house again, my hand on her shoulder as her head falls back against my shoulder. That humongous man I knew well as Hagrid, Keeper of Keys at Hogwarts, got off of Sirius's bike. He carried a little bundle in his arms and carried it so carefully, and that bundle was my life, my every hope, my every dream, my every pain was to keep that bundle safe.

Lily makes a low moaning sound as the pressure of my hand on her shoulder increases with the same pain she feels, "James," she moans, "I wanna wake up, tell me this is a dream."

The horror of occurrence kept me from answering, I was unsure of what to say. Never had I experience such tremendous blows to know how the sting felt. My reality was diminished by everything I had seen the previous night, my reality had faded into oblivion as my friend betrayed me, my life and son ripped away from me, and my best friend being accused of my murder.

Dumbledore takes my son in his arms and looks down at the precious little boy that had saved Our world single handedly. I see him smile at my son's face, the duplicate picture of my own childhood and place him in front of the door of Lily's sister with a note I head written personally and signed Dumbledore's long name.

And there it is, that final pain. Harry is gone from us, he won't return to us, he'll live with Lily's sister, Petunia. He'll grow up in the Muggle world, and suddenly one day discover who he is, what his lightning shaped scar means, that he shares it with his mother. But all of his life, he will inevitably wonder what his parents were like. What we looked liked, how we talked, how we laughed, how we would have treated and how different his life would be if only Peter hadn't been so weak, and Lily and I so powerful to cause Voldermort seek our lives, and his.

I see the motorcycle fly across the sky again and a pop where McGonagall had stood. Dumbledore, knowing fully well where we were, looked at us and motioned for us to get closer.

Both wearing ripped, dusty clothes and my arm in a sling, we walked into the moonlight towards Dumbledore. "So this is how it begins," I breath looking at the old man.

He nods, "it is."

Lily walks towards Harry as I stay with Dumbledore to talk things over, "what happened to Sirius?" I asked.

"Well, as you know, he was arrested after Peter blew up the street," for the second time in my life I saw Dumbledore's true age, the first being the time Sirius had been too numb to hold his tongue during his wife and daughter's premature funeral, "and you're supposed murder, the thirteen muggle's and Peter's death is on his hands now. I just received word before coming here that there will be no trial of any sorts for Sirius, and he is immediately to be put under lock and key in D ward of Azkaban."

"NO TRIAL?" I yelled, then got a glare from him to keep my voice down, "sorry," I hissed, "he doesn't get a trial! Why the fuck not?"

"Come now James," he said wearily, "being an Auror you know fully well what measures the Ministry will go through to put any supposed Death Eater in prison."

"Dumbledore, whatever the hell it is you have to do, do it and get that man out of Azkaban," I heard Lily say, still kneeling over Harry, who was sleeping. Sirius always took him flying when he couldn't sleep, I'm betting he fell asleep on the bike.

"I can't do anything Lily, it will seem suspicious of me to have such knowledge," he said looking at his Ace student.

"If it was suspicious of you to have so much wit, Dumbledore, you would've long been suspected," I told him, "everyone knows you have these divine powers, you know you can get him out."

"They will not hear me," he answered.

"Why?" Lily asked.

"Cause he hasn't tried," I said looking straight into his eyes, "look, I know you, you wouldn't do anything that would jeopardize anything, you like keeping things safe. And if you go prancing into the Ministry and saying that they should put up a radar on Peter because he's the guy that should be arrested," I took a deep breath, "you will be constant target, eh?"

He looked at me, and I felt the same numbness Sirius must have felt when he told him practically what I had just told him.

"James, it is out of my power," he says.

"I know," I breathed, "but do anything that is possible to try and get him out, at least get him out of D ward." I remember one time we had been put on Azkaban duty, Sirius had nearly fainted with the horror of D ward. And he would have to spend the rest of his life there. Oh God help me, I'm going crazy.

"So, what's the next thing we do?" Lily asked from Harry's side.

"Hide out," he answered, "the best place I can recommend is America, being a young country, there aren't any wizarding families there, not as many anyways. And if you stay as far away from the older states, the less chance of coming across a witch or wizard."

I looked at my beauty, "well Lil, America?"

She nods, "America it is."

Dumbledore smiled, "where will you be until you find a place?"

"The family château in Monte Carlo," I answered.

He nodded, "I will check up on you with updates as soon as I can," he assured me.

"Ok," I nodded.

"You'd better get going," he answered.

My heart leapt with dread, "right," I said and walked to where Lily was sitting. I bent towards my son, his angelic face and that scar, I put my finger on his soft one, "well kiddo, I know I told you that you and I had forever and I would teach you the secrets of pranking and playing Quiddich and flying and all those things," I said, "but fate intervened son," I smiled sadly as I felt tears sting my eyes, "and I can't do anything to change that because it'll put you at so much risk. And that's the last thing I want to do," tears fell freely on my cheek as Lily squeezed my arm, "I'm sorry Harry," the world came crashing down again like one of those Muggle airplanes, "I'm sorry for the future, I'm sorry that you won't know me," I breathed, I bent down and kissed his soft forehead, "I love you Harry," I assured him.

"C'mon sweetheart, Petunia will be getting up soon," Lily whispered tearfully, trying to force me to stand up.

I did, "bye little man," I said looking at him.

"Bye sweetheart," Lily whispers to him.

"Let's go to Monte," I whispered to her, and with my arm still around her waist, we both Dissaparated. The last thing I heard was Harry crying.

We landed in the familiar, grand living room of Monte Carlo. Being so extremely exhausted, we plopped onto the couch without exploring the house so many would give their lives to see.

"We can't just sit back and watch this…this shit happen," Lily says from across the couch.

I cocked my eyebrow, "what do you purpose we do? We go back to the world, I'm sure one of Voldermorts Death Eaters is going to find him, or he himself will find Harry, and kill him! I don't want to risk that. Voldermort isn't dead, you and I both know that, he can find us and Harry any time of day. And you know better then I what consequences there are when a wizard breaks a promise, you saw what happened to Voldermort."

She stood up from the couch and walked towards me and sat next to me, her head on my shoulder, "I don't want my baby boy growing up, thinking Voldermort killed us."

I kissed her red hair, "I don't either, but we have to. If we go back…there's no telling what will happen."

She was silent for a few minutes as I pressed her closer to me, her feet on the couch, she stuffed her head in my chest moaning, "our baby boy James," she whimpered, her body shaking as her tears went through me.

I pried her from my chest and put my arms around her, hugging her, "I know," I whispered as my own tears fell again.

"Our son," she whimpers, "our flesh and blood James, they took him from us."

"I know," I whispered as she pressed herself against my body, "it'll be ok Lils," God I hate lying to her. Who the hell was I kidding? After this, nothing would be OK, my best friend's in jail for no reason at all, my son is going to be raised by a man who greatly resembles a pig, and my friend Remus Lupin, that gentle werewolf, will spend good years of his life contemplating what he did wrong to deserve his three friends death and another's betrayal. It's killing me, and I'm sitting here, with Lily clutching at my chest, knowing fully well that all hell is breaking loose and I'm telling her it'll be ok.

She looked into my eyes, "you promise?"

I couldn't answer her, instead, I flicked away a tear from her cheek, "we'll make it…somehow."

"You're amazing you know that?" she asked sitting up, tearfully looking at me serenely.

"How's that?" I asked looking into her eyes, how can someone be so beautiful?

"You're perfectly composed while you just gave up your son, who, unlike your best friend, he has a future," she said running her hand through my hair with concern burning in her eyes, "if Sirius was my best friend, I would be just flipping out and killing everybody in the Ministry."

"That supposed be a compliment?" I asked her, "look Lily, I want to go break Sirius out of Azkaban…but the risk…" I breathed, "I'm not just talking about Harry's future, we're talking about the future of every single Goddamn person on this planet. Hell, if I was the only person Voldermort had marked, and if going back would mean only my death and the world would still be semi-peaceful, I'd do it in a heartbeat. I want to see you holding Harry again," I drew her to me so she was slightly on top of me, "rocking him back to sleep after a nightmare or something. But I'm not the only target, our friends are targets, Sirius is a target, Remus is a target, even fuckin Peter's a target, Harry's a target," I cupped her cheek, "you're a target. I can't risk it."

She kissed my shoulder as she tangled her leg with mine, "you amaze me because of your restraint, your will."

I smiled, I inhaled, causing her head to rise with my chest, "life goes on right?"

"Incurably," she answered as I drew her to complete sit on top of my body.

"We'll make it, somehow," I smiled. I put my head back against the couch as her head rested on my chest, clutching my black t-shirt in her fists. I closed my eyes to have numerous images flood me; Voldermort banging down the front door while I yelled for Lily to take Harry upstairs, she refusing like a trooper to leave me alone, Harry's beautiful, terrified eyes when he saw Voldermort, the deal, Sirius's saucer-sized gray eyes upon hearing the story, and everything in between the disaster..

I opened my eyes, first sign of going crazy in my book is to be afraid to close your eyes, to be afraid of your own mind. "What's wrong?" Lily asked looking at me with concerned eyes.

I raised my eyebrow, "don't make me answer that," I smiled.

"Right," she agrees and rests her head against my shoulder again. "Why do you think he did it?" she asked quietly.

"Who did what?" I asked.

"Peter," she whispers knowing that I hated the name now, when I had not so long ago respected it, allowed it to have a positive meaning to me.

"Peter…the higher authority always got him," I answered quietly, "he thought we couldn't win at all, joined the other side to prosper I guess. Survival of the fittest."

"Bull shit," she murmured, "what did we ever do to him?"

I shrugged recalling our days at Hogwarts, how we had saved his ass before he could turn into a Slytherin yo-yo. "Nothing that I know of," I said, "we didn't know him as well as we thought."

She drew in a deep breath, "guess not," she whispered nuzzling her nose into my neck.

"Why don't you sleep Lily?" I asked stroking her hair.

"Yeah right," she whispers, I can see clearly that her eyes are shut, "like I can sleep right now."

I kissed her head, "try," I whispered, "we need to start planning tomorrow."

"Can you sleep? With your best friend and your son facing an unsure future?" she asked, looking accusingly into my eyes.

I looked at her, "party pooper," I said trying to get a smile, "fine, you got me."

"K, that's better," she said with a microscopic smile, she stood up after giving me a lazy kiss, "I'm gonna go in the back garden k? We both need a little alone time."

Couldn't argue with that logic, I did need a little time to reflect, get my seems straight because the last thing I could do was see straight at that moment. Everything seemed so surreal, after all that had happened to make me realize it was happening, I still had the sneaking suspicion that I would open my eyes and find myself naked to the waist with Lily clinging on to me. I was half expecting to hear my son wailing in the other room any second and feel the weight of the bed shift and Lily get up and get him.

But as I sat down on the back porch of the family villa and stared out into the lake that was part of Potter property, I realized that that wasn't going to happen. My reality was my worst nightmare come true. I knew having and loving the most powerful witch in a century would have my hands full, on top of the fact that I'm in the Dark Arts division of the Auror offices, I never exactly knew what dread it would bring. I still think if I had gone into Healing like my dad, I wouldn't be in this sticky mess. It would be less sticky at least, I have a sneaking suspicion that my son would at least be with me and my best friend wouldn't be in jail.

My best friend, how I had vowed to never let anything happen to him, and here I am, sitting in villa in France while he's in a dank cell in Azkaban. So much for no boundaries for our friendship.

You have no idea how guilty I feel when my mind drifts to my best friend. You also have no idea how much he means to me. I have seen so many things, so many important things in life, with Sirius at my side. He was there for me when my parents were killed, he was there for me when I needed him the most, when I needed a shoulder to cry on, or a good laugh or someone to bounce my ideas off of. Sirius was always there and I always made sure to pay him in full. Spending your entire life in jail to protect your best friend is something huge, the payback will be humungous and perhaps I can never pay him back.

My thoughts immediately drifted back to the first day Sirius and I met, we were both 8.

May 9, 1977. No one could ever erase the date from my mind, it was too important.

My parents were invited to an old-fashioned ball at the Ministry of Magic because they had been such large contributors to the Magical world and had donated a lot of money too. I was six and my mom decided it would be best if I was dragged to the Godforsaken party instead of spending the day with my grandfather, who would have taught me how to fly. I think my mom dragged me to the Ball just so Grandpa couldn't teach my how to fly a broomstick, but she never knew I had learned long before that. Hehe.

Anyway, I was forced to wear these extremely tight and even more uncomfortable formal robes where I preferred Muggle clothes. I was sitting alone on the large, round table in the dimly lit hall of the Ministry alone as my parents slow danced. Since I was eight, the proof that my parents actually were in love sickened me so I turned around and tried my best not to look at the dance floor. Next to our table, wear my gaze had turned, sat a kid who looked my age with long, lustrous hair, the total opposite of my own, which was standing in every single direction. He looked my age and yet, so much older in ways.

He was looking around when his eyes caught mine, I smiled, he returned it. He waved towards me direction.

I returned the gesture with a smile, that naïve, gitty feeling of a new friend settling inside me. The boy jumped off his seat, and walked towards me wearing awkward clothing similar to mine.

"Hi," he smiled.

"Hello," I smiled back, "I'm James," I said, sticking my hand out like I had seen my dad do.

"I'm Sirius," he smiled shaking my hand. Looking back, I can't help but laugh imagine what the two of us looked like. Two 8-year-olds wearing the most formal Wizarding attire, looking horribly out of place, yet shaking hands like their 30, 40-year-old fathers. "You're parents work at the ministry?"

I nodded, "my dad's a Healer, my mum used to be in the Department of Magical Cooperation but gave that up when I was born," I smiled, "you?"

He shrugged, "my dad's one of the Governors, and my mum never did anything," he smiled, "you like Quiddich?"

I nodded and we trampled into a full on discussion of the latest game between Finland and Ireland. Apparently we both were abed fans of the game and Finland's team.

We were in the middle of discussing our pranking techniques when a gruff, essentially female voice boomed from behind us, "SIRIUS!"

He looked at me with a bored expression, "my cousin, Bellatrix" he explained to me, he turned around in his seat, which my dad had occupied a few minutes before, "yes?" he asked.

"What are you doing?" she asked. Oh Lord, that girl scared the living crap out of me. She was tall, and seemed to get bigger as you got closer to her head. She had braces with tangled hair and spat every time she talked. I couldn't believe for once, and still don't believe, that she was related to my best friend Sirius. I mean, compare his handsome face to that of Bellatrix, the hardest thing to swallow is their blood line!

"I'm sitting you dink," he said looking at me.

"With who?" she asked.

A smile crept on his lips, "my new friend, James."

"You know what his last name is?"

Sirius shook his head proudly.

"POTTER!" she roared.

His smile became wider, "that so?"

I nodded, "yep, James Matthias Potter."

"Cool," Sirius smiled, "I'm Sirius Orion Black."
"Nice," I smiled practically seeing smoke coming out of his cousins ears. Black and Potter never mix. The problems between the families had started way back when. And no one knows where the feud began exactly, but all Blacks and Potters know it's there. But I liked Sirius, I didn't care about his last name. After all, a name is only a name. It isn't the man, it's just a name.

"Having fun sweetheart," I heard my moms sweet voice ask as her hand rested on my shoulder.

Sirius and I started laughing when Bellatrix left in a huff, "aren't you Tybalt Black's son?" I heard my dad ask.

Sirius nodded politely, "I'm Sirius."

"Nice to meet you Sirius," my mom said, still standing behind me.

I looked up at my parents. What I wouldn't give now, as a 22-year-old father and husband, to see my mothers face again. She was such a beautiful creature, even when age began consuming her. She always had that beautiful smile, that twinkle in her honey colored eyes and her blonde hair always beautifully styled to fit the mood of wherever she was going. Linnet Potter never ceased to amaze me, she was such a good mother. She was strict when she needed to be but let me get away with so much. I miss her so much.

"Where are you're parents?" my dad asked. Dad, there was the role model every single father-to-be should look up to. He was so great. Never strict unless my mom gave him a look when he was about to dismiss whatever trouble I had gone through. He was extremely involved in my life, and I never did mind that, he was cool. I liked hanging out with him and never hesitated to talk to him about anything. Essentially, he was the perfect dad. Hilarious beyond belief, loved pranks, flying, Quddich and was affectionate. When Lily told me she was pregnant, I lay in bed that night with her clinging on to me as thoughts raced through my head. I promised myself and the fetus growing in Lily's stomach that I would be the dad Zachary Potter had been.

When Sirius parents showed up that night, found their oldest son sitting at the table with the Potters, the expression and Tybalt and Kelly Black's face was one that I desire never ever to see again.

"James," I heard Lily calling me presently, "you ok sweetheart?"

I looked up to find her standing over my head. The sky was lighter then when I remembered. "Why wouldn't I be?" I asked, still a bit puzzled.

She sat on the seat next to me on the swing, "you had a really weird, glazed over expression over your face, kinda scared me," she said.

"Oh," I managed to breath, "must've blocked out or something."

Her brow furrowed in concern, "that's not good, you've been sitting out here for three hours babe."

I looked at her, "weird," I muttered putting my head back. I guess there's been so much on mind, I blocked out or something.

"You're getting me worried," I heard her say.

I shook my head, "no need," I turned my head to look at her beautiful face, extending a hand towards her I said, "come here."

She smiled and like a beautiful cat crawled towards me. She put her head on the inside of my shoulder as I secured her there with my both my arms. "If anything happens to you…" she began.

I cut her off, "nuh-uh, you're not doing that to me."

She looked up with beautiful eyes, concern oozed out of them.

"I just got caught up in thoughts," I assured her, pressing her close to my body, daring the world to hurt her.

"If you say so," she whispered with a sigh.

So! What do you guys think?