Hey! Yep... I wrote this just for kicks but when my friends read it they urged me to post it…..SO I AM! - As you can see this is a huge crossover full of randomness! ENJOY! Disclaimer: Use your mind a little; this is FANfiction meaning I am just a FAN…jeez…
THE FIRST MEETING OF MURDERS' ANNONYMOUSDoc. Saydee: Welcome to the first meeting of Murders' Anonymous! This is a completely confidential group offered for the sole reason of allowing you to safely discuss your feelings about your, um…hobbies, with people like you. So lets start off with introductions. As you know I'm Doctor Saydee Summers.
Sam: Hi, I'm Sam Wulfe and I'm, well, a werewolf -sniggers are heard around the room- Shut up!
Freddy: What kind of werewolf actually has the name Wulfe?
Doc Saydee: Now now, no speaking out of turn. And please keep such improper and rude thoughts to yourself, sir.
Freddy: -clicks claws- you know what, Bitch; I can tell I don't like you already.
Doc Saydee: right, um, yes…moving on…
Samara: Hello, I'm Samara and I like to murder people stupid enough to watch a tape they already have been told kills people.
Sam: -raises eyebrows- How rewarding can that be?
Samara: -glares-
Doc Saydee: Let's keep it moving. Um, how about you, what's your name?
Freddy: -glances up to see her pointing to a guy across the room from him- HAH, that's Jason Voorhees. Good luck getting through to him. The only thing in his head is dirty lake water.
Jason: -sits there for a few seconds- uh?
Freddy: -smirks- Dumb ass.
Jason: -throws a rock that misses Freddy by three feet-
Doc Saydee: Right, well I can sense some tension here. But we'll come back to that. Let's continue.
Kikyo: I'm Kikyo. I'm considered the walking dead or, if you prefer, a zombie. I spent my whole life protecting this stupid jewel only to fall in love, be killed for the damn jewel I had to baby-sit, and be utterly betrayed.
Doc Saydee: That's it; let it all out.
Kikyo: Then when I was brought back to life, I found my traitorous love to be alive after I had killed him. I found out that he wasn't the one who betrayed me but I was still pissed cause he was hanging out with some other chick. So, now I'm going to kill her and then I think I'll drag him to hell.
Sam: DAMN!
Freddy: Whoa, I kinda like this one…
Samara: I didn't think ANYONE had more issues then me and I got tossed down a fricken well! Oh, by the way, would anyone like to watch this tape?
Jason: -raises hand-
Freddy: Told you…complete moron.
Sam: Samara, that's not even worth it.
Samara: aww -pouts-
Doc Saydee: Keep it going please.
Morpheus: Hi, I'm from the Matrix and well; I only kill when I'm drunk. Which is quite often. Oh yea, and my girlfriend is a saint who had been dipped in molten lead.
Freddy: Well that's gotta suck. How do you fu-
Doc Saydee: That's quite enough, Freddy! Besides, for all the talking you do you still haven't introduced yourself properly.
Freddy: Oh, my bad. I'm Freddy Krueger, the King of Nightmares! I strike fear into the hearts of teens everywhere, and kill the Elm Street kids in perverse and taunting ways when they are asleep. -Smiles with pride-
Sam: I don't think perverse even begins to cover it…
Freddy: Shut it, furball.
Samara: haha, you can't get me because I never sleep!
Kikyo: -Shoots an arrow that pins Samara to the wall- I'd like to introduce you to a well in my world, sometime…
Morpheus: -opens up a beer- you all are kind of crazy.
Sam: We're crazy? You're the one with a metal girlfriend!
Jason: -picks his nose with a machete-
Kikyo: watches him how is he even capable of killing people?
Freddy: -sniggers- it took him a while, his Mommy had to do it for him first! Heh heh heh
Doc Saydee: Please people, we have one last introduction to make!
Captain Jack: I'm Captain Jack Sparrow, and…I'm in the wrong room.
Freddy: You look familiar…have I killed you before?
Sam: If you're a pirate, don't you have to kill people at some point?
Samara: Yea, how good of a pirate are you if you never kill? Oh, and do you wanna watch this tape?
Capt Jack: I just like to drink Rum -opens a bottle-
Morpheus: Me too! -Opens a bottle himself-
Doc Saydee: Now that we all know each other, lets discuss why we kill.
Morpheus: Um, I kill cause I'm wasted and I have a gun?
Capt Jack: As long as I have my rum…-cradles bottle-
Sam: Well, I tend to lose control when I'm fully transformed, resulting in violent outbursts.
Samara: Can you three even be considered true murderers?
Kikyo: Can you, you creepy little tape girl?
Samara: You wanna start something?
Kikyo: You're still pinned to the wall.
Samara: So…
Jason: -drops a knife on his foot but does nothing-
Freddy: I kill because, one, I'm damn good at it, and, two, its fuckin fun!
Kikyo: I want to kill Kagome because she's annoying and even though it wasn't Inu yasha's fault I died, I like to blame him and would enjoy watching him burn in hell.
Sam: -raises eyebrows- I take it you don't like this dude anymore…?
Freddy: Does that mean you're available?
Doc Saydee: Mr. Krueger, I'd prefer if you kept such things like that out of this room.
Freddy: -flexes claws- just one more time, bitch…
Doc Saydee: I think we should wrap it up for today! I'll see you all next week!