Blink

She always seemed to get in the way these days, especially for people like her father and Neji. They were strong, important men, and they often thought about subjects that were too difficult for her to understand. Or at least, that was what she had been told. Hinata didn't question what she was told, however. When it came to her father, she merely accepted what he told her, and tried to be as little a nuisance as possible. Life was much easier when she wasn't underfoot and causing trouble.

Tension was easing among everyone nowadays, but she still felt like the odd one out. In her family of geniuses, she was the only one who was below average. Her existence seemed a blemish on their wonderful name, and because of that, she tried her best never to inconvenience everyone.

Step softly, don't disturb their conversations.

Speak only when spoken to, and never more than a sentence at a time.

Try not to fidget as much, it distracted them.

Try not to stutter, it was a weakness.

Be everything... that it's impossible... for you to be.

She told herself this every morning, and she tried. She believed that someday she would become stronger, and she would be able to change herself. Someday she would earn the respect of everyone, and they would be proud to say that she was their daughter, their sister, their cousin.

Until then, she had to keep trying. She could never give up and never settle for less than what was expected of her. Or... what used to be expected of her. Once, her father had held her to rigid standards. Once he had believed that she could be something more than the little girl who mumbled and apologized. He had tried to make her better than she was, stronger, and because she was inadequate, he had failed.

It wasn't her father's fault. It was her fault. She didn't blame him, of course not. She didn't blame anyone but herself; she was in charge of her own fate, wasn't she? Hadn't she told Neji that she could change herself if she wanted to?

She believed that. She had to. No one's life was predestined. Everyone... if they gave it their all, everyone could be as brilliant as they needed to be. It just took longer for some people. Some people had to work harder, sweat more, cry less.

Hinata was one of those people. No matter what, she would become more than anyone thought she could be. She would try to make them all happy. More than anything, she wanted to see her father smile at her. If she could make him smile, then she believed that she could do anything. If she could win even a little bit of his love, even if it took her entire life, she would not consider her life wasted.

Maybe... he wouldn't consider it wasted, either... if she could be the person her father wanted her to be.

For some reason, she had told him this. When she'd walked into his room, she had intended to just pour his tea, serve it to him, and then leave. There would be nothing special about their meeting, and she would go on with her life, trying to improve herself in some little way. She had been thinking of asking her father if she could train with her sensei and teammates for a little while. The thought of staying and talking with him... had been the furthest thing from her mind.

It was strange. She had poured his tea, and he had asked her a simple question. There had been no extraordinary inflection in his words, no tone that betrayed any feeling aside from civil interest. His words had been carefully chosen, spoken in a quiet tone while meeting her eyes only briefly.

"Are you well today?"

She hadn't thought that anyone noticed her cold. It was a small thing, a trifling little sickness that she hadn't wanted to burden anyone with knowledge of, and so she had treated it quietly and tried very hard never to sniffle around others. No one had made a comment, and so she had thought that she had done a good job, and for once, she was proud of herself. She had managed not to inconvenience anyone with a personal problem.

But he had noticed.

Why he, of anyone, would notice, she was at a complete loss to find out. She knew it had shown on her face as she stared at him, mouth slacking a little bit in surprise, color rising to her cheeks. She had tried so hard this time, but he had somehow found her out.

He didn't seem angry, though. That was what puzzled Hinata most. When he had asked her, she couldn't find a single trace of malice or disappointment in his voice. That alone had prompted her to murmur a response, though she had tripped over it.

Her words always seemed to tangle when it came to Neji. Except for that day... at the chuunin exams... she hadn't messed up what she wanted to say then. It was amazing, but when she had needed words the most, they had come to her. Something between them had changed that day. She didn't know what, and he still intimidated her a little too much for her to even consider pursuing what had begun to form.

So she had tried to be exactly the same around him. That was what she tried then, too. But again, something changed.

When she had been staring at the ground, winding the fabric of her jacket between her fingers, the most remarkable thing had happened. A hand cloaked in bandages had tilted her face up, rested briefly on her cheek, and when she had been staring into eyes so like her own, something passed through them.

Something soft.

So brief, but it was soft.

She had made the mistake of blinking just then, when he came so close. Perhaps it was instinct to close her eyes when a hand touched her face, she didn't know. The only thing that was for certain, was that he murmured something to her, and then when she opened her eyes, he was retreating across the room.

His back was to her, his shoulders tense, gait stiff and suddenly cold. He was turning in on himself, recoiling suddenly against whatever he had just shown her, obviously regretting the minute display of affection that had seemed so impulsive.

Hinata knew that just then, something had passed between them again. She knew it with the same certainty that had claimed her after their battle. Once again, she was at a loss as to what it was, but even still...

She had heard him say it.

He had said, "Take care of yourself."

That meant... that even a little bit, he cared. It was more than Hinata had been given in quite a long time.

That was why she watched him leave without saying a word, a small smile slowly turning her lips upward at the corners. They trembled slightly, and the smile wavered, but it was there.

When he was far away enough that he wouldn't be able to hear her, Hinata closed her eyes and fisted one hand against her heart.

"Thank you, Neji-niisan."

Inspired by fanart by kaorien that can be found on the Livejournal community 'hyugacest'. Also dedicated to kaorien.