Sins of the Survivor
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine. Everything belongs to JKR and I only do this for my enjoyment and not for any profit or money.
A/N: I finally had the time to write. Sorry for the long delay but I had a couple of long, exhausting exams and no time for fanfiction.
Chapter 9
Memories
Some time had passed since little Harry Potter escaped the whale of a human being that he was forced to call cousin. Now, sitting in a quiet and dusty corner of the local library, he sighed to himself. The library was one of the only places that he could escape to. Strangely enough, he never saw anyone else in this section of the library and looking at the dust covered books, it was likely that no one had come here for a long time. That didn't really bother him. Here he was free to do whatever he wanted.
Looking down at his book he smiled. Nobody at school knew that he could read so well or books so difficult. He had learned how to read at the age of three, when his mother's sister bought some children's books for her son, who didn't really care about them. They were forgotten and like almost everything valuable that was discarded by the Dursleys, it reached Harry Potter. He had known for a long time that the only chance to get away from the Dursleys was to get as knowledgeable as possible and thus to become powerful in his own way. This was his chance to escape his relatives and everything else.
He continued reading. The book in his hands was interesting, though he wasn't certain if he could trust it because everything written in it sounded too fantastical to be true. It spoke about magic, blood magic.
Although his relatives always told him that magic didn't exist, somewhere deep inside him he felt that it wasn't the truth. It wouldn't be the first time that the Dursleys lied to him and he was certain that it wasn't the last time. So, finding something like this book was simply another clue. It was evidence and it helped him to believe it. But in the end it didn't matter because the book was too interesting to discard.
Blood magic consists mostly of rituals and invocations, although there are certain branches of this magic where other things are used to get to the power of the blood.
To use invocation one has to give blood as offering to the spirit, god or guardian one tries to invoke. Different gods want different amounts of blood from different beings. Before trying to invoke something one should always know what offering to use. An example of this would be the invocation of the goddess Bastet. Her symbol is a cat. Invoking Bastet while spilling cat blood would bring her wrath upon the invocator. Thus an intimate knowledge of mythology is necessary to invoke successfully without losing your life.
The following pages describe useful and simple invocations for the young Blood Mage. While this book covers the basics, Gods, Goddesses and Spirits is an essential addition. There you will find more information about the gods.
Needless to say, the book captivated the six year old boy. This was the power he would need to protect himself from the Dursleys and to break free from them. A smile lit up his face as he read on.
Darien Malfoy walked gracefully through the atrium of the British Ministry of Magic. He hated being back in Britain but it could not be helped. The Council had given him a mission and he would fulfill it. He smirked as he remembered how easy it was to convince Fudge to give him the position of the Vice-Minister of Magic. The spy of the Council simply told Fudge that it would be good to have the new Lord Malfoy on his side. He would be easy to manipulate and it would satisfy most of the purebloods. After the disaster of last year, Fudge needed every support he could get. It was just too easy.
And here he was now, walking down the hallways, greeting people and making himself look good. In a few weeks everything would be different but now he had work to do.
Smiling charmingly at Madam Bones, the Head of Magical Law Enforcement, he began to speak.
"Ah, Madam Bones! I've been looking for you! You, of course, know about me being the new deputy to our esteemed minister."
Her brow furrowed.
"Of course, Lord Malfoy."
"Call me Darien, please, Madam. Now there are a few things I wanted to talk about with you. You see…"
They had been surprised, when they saw the books that Harry Potter had been reading. No one thought that he had been confronted with the existence of magic at such an early age, partly because nobody had seen any indication of it happening.
"Well, this was certainly something different." said Snape. Not only was the Gryffindor Golden Boy apparently non-existent but Hadrian Potter had read about the darkest of magics when he had been six year old.
"Did anybody know about this? He never told me." The young looking headmaster glanced around him, taking in the negative shaking heads of his companions.
"I believe that he never told anyone. He never talks about his childhood or his relatives. I always thought that it was because he doesn't have a good relationship with them but he never mentioned magic. He said that Hagrid was the one who introduced him to the wizarding world."
The young Slytherin heir looked thoughtful.
"He introduced him to the wizarding world but not to magic. It's all a matter of wording." He looked around. "But that's not what's important right now. Where are we?"
The group was standing once more in a desert. All around them were shards of broken mirrors. The sun, still shining with all its heat onto the sand, was slowly disappearing behind the dunes. There was no town or pyramid visible and it seemed as if the desert went on forever.
"Look at this!" pointed an astonished Hermione. She was looking at one mirror shard and it seemed as if there was some life, some scene hidden in the depths of its reflection. And truly, the young face of Hadrian flashed for a short moment in time through the shard before disappearing again.
"What is this?"
"I believe that these are shards of his memories. They are broken so we have to somehow put them back together. Lord Slytherin said that acceptance is essential if we want to get him back, so if we accept his deeds and him in these memories, we might be able to rebuilt the mirror." Mused the headmaster. It sounded plausible and was perhaps the only real chance they got, so the others only nodded.
"But there are so many of these shards here. We have to do a shard each or we won't be finished for a long time and time is something we don't have in abundance." The words of Professor Flitwick settled heavily on everyone's mind. They had a task to do and not much time. How could anybody know what they would meet, when they confronted the memories? Would they be able to accept them?
With a tired sigh everyone got ready to touch one of the shards, still looking quite concerned but determined.
"Go."
For a second the green eyes of Tom glared at Conrad before everyone vanished, sucked into the bitter memories of a young Hadrian. It was night now, the empty desert illuminated only by the stars and moved by the wind that blew softly over the sandy dunes.
Rhade sighed as he began playing with his food again. It had been two days since that weird ward went up around Hogwarts. Nobody could get out and nobody could get in. One didn't even see properly beyond the ward and this frustrated everyone.
In the last few days the fighting between the students escalated. The teachers were hard pressed to control the student population and although it was natural to be agitated in this kind of situation, the fights happened too often and were too violent to be simply considered an outlet of frustration.
So someone's actively trying to heat things up.
With Blaise still in the Hospital Wing, poisoned by whatever the person who stunned her injected her, it was crucial to find out who the person was that was doing all this. He had a suspicion and now was the time to find out if he was right. Checking his wand, he opened the door leading to an abandoned classroom on the second floor.
"Ah …so I was right. Good evening. Now, put it down." He said, as he aimed his wand at his opponent.
"Magister."
"What news have you brought me?" The man asked, looking impassively at the kneeling figure in front of him.
"Magister, the school Hogwarts has disappeared in a dimensional hole. The first seal was activated."
"So there is no doubt that the heir of Slytherin is inside the school." He hummed thoughtfully, then looked into the distance.
"We have no choice. We should try what we tried to do with Avalon. It has to be sealed, especially because the Heir is there. The prophecy can't be fulfilled."
"I understand, Magister. What about the new deputy-minister of Britain, Darien Malfoy? Do we know if he works for Voldemort or for the Council?"
"We do not know yet but he could be either. The Malfoys are notorious for supporting Voldemort but it would make sense if he were an agent of the Council."
"What should we do, Magister?"
"Kill him."
It was an older Hadrian that Minerva MacGonagall saw as she was sucked into the memory. The young boy was several years older, perhaps even in Hogwarts, but still looked quite thin and ragged. Only his eyes were clearly seen. He had, apparently, gotten rid of his thick glasses. His hair, normally looking chaotic and unruly, now seemed to have calmed down some. And although these changes made him look more mature, the surroundings in which he was, were still not something acceptable for a young child.
A dark alley in the middle of the night, only illuminated by the few rays of the moon that was hidden mostly behind big clouds. What did her pupil want here? She shook her head, her raven locks falling softly over her eyes.
Suddenly, three dark shapes appeared in front of her charge, approaching fast and sneering. The three men looked dangerous. Their wide, malicious eyes stared hungrily at the young boy. Crooked, ugly grins made them even more hideous.
"Well, well, well. What do we have here? A little boy. Have you lost your mommy, little boy?" mocked the first one, while taking out a knife from under his jacket.
"Yes, little one. Shall we help you find her?"
Hade had, meanwhile, not run away in fear or panic. She was accustomed to his eyes being friendly and open. Now they were cold and indifferent.
I hope that he will be all right.
She was concerned now. He was one of her favorite pupils and not because of James or Lily Potter but because she really liked him. In many ways he reminded her of Albus or even that one dear friend from so many years ago. Contrary to popular belief, she noticed how quiet he was, always only speaking when asked something or when he deemed it necessary. His voice was calm and mature, though that was never generally noticed because of his boisterous friends.
He interrupted her thoughts when he pulled two wicked looking daggers out of his jacket. As she looked closer, she noticed that these were the same daggers that he had used in the Chamber of Secrets. How had he gotten them?
"Ah", one of the big men smirked, "does the little boy know how to play? Not going to run to your mommy?" The others laughed loudly.
"My mother is dead." The calm statement startled her. His body was poised for an attack, the blades acting both as armguards and as weapons at the same time. And though the laughter of the men increased and she was startled at the calm tone with which he had made that statement, his next words were completely unexpected.
"And you will be too, if you do not let me pass."
These completely ruthless words both shocked and startled her. She had never heard him talk like this. Would he really do what he promised? As she looked into his cold eyes, she saw ruthlessness in them. She hadn't wanted to believe in it but here and now she truly believed with everything she was that her Gryffindor pupil would kill these men in cold blood.
Even while the men laughed at his words, her mind was trying to grasp and to accept this new realization. Hadrian would kill them and looking at him now, she believed that he would not be devastated after committing the act.
Could she truly accept someone like this?
Then she remembered the time when Grindelwald was active. She had been forced to kill his men to survive. It had been a bloody war but there had been good times, too. She had fallen in love, then. And she had gained a friend for life in those bitter moments.
So how could she not accept the actions of her pupil?
Minerva noticed that it was cold now. Whispers assaulted her mind.
Survive … concentrate … necessary … no pity …no mercy
And then she felt it. She felt the ruthless determination to survive, so similar to her past feelings. These were the feelings of Hadrian.
With swift moves the young boy appeared beside the first man. Slashing with one dagger, while protecting himself with the other, he was able to remain unharmed. With a precise hand movement her young pupil buried one dagger in the stomach of the man. Crimson blood splashed out of the wound, as the thug crashed painfully to the ground.
The others, it seemed, were still in some kind of stupor.
"Invoco Isisam, protecte me! Genius invocat!" The dagger, covered completely with blood, glowed. Suddenly light gathered in front of Hadrian. The form, so similar to a patronus, was a great dog. Wisps of blue light flowed like fog from the huge, menacing beast. It barred its teeth at the two remaining thugs and Minerva saw fear appear in their eyes.
"What …what is THIS?!" yelped one of them.
Hadrian only smiled, though his eyes remained their cold green.
"This … this is the most powerful magic of all!" The beast leaped at the men, tearing them literary apart and killing them mercilessly. When it finished, it turned to Hadrian. For a single moment Minerva feared that her student would, too, fall prey to this beast but he only bowed to it.
"Gratias ago. I thank Isis humbly for her protection. The blood is yours. Sanguis tei. Exitus." The spirit of protection nodded. As it disappeared one could see a dull, red glow surrounding the fallen, dead thugs. The blood disappeared and Hadrian walked on, not once looking back.
Was this the fearsome blood magic?
It was powerful, very powerful. Something stirred in her memories but she couldn't quite place it. It was as if she had seen this before. She shook her head, banishing the thought. This was not the time.
Could she accept what Hadrian did? Looking at the massacre, at the bloodless corpses and after her departed pupil, she finally realized what accepting this meant. She would give up every preconception she ever had about him. This was not James. This was not Lily either. This was Hadrian and he was not everything she thought he was. Minerva didn't like what he did but she saw the necessity of it. He had wanted to survive and he did survive. She had done the same, when faced with a similar situation. In the end she couldn't condemn him because she couldn't condemn herself.
And as her heart finally accepted that there was ruthlessness in Hadrian, her Gryffindor pupil, the memory began to glow a milky white. Shards of the memory, which she had not seen, were being restored to their previous condition. They were one step further to having him be whole. Minerva smiled as she was whisked away.
The will to survive is admirable. Not even lions can do without it.
He appeared in a dark room with only a single window. The busy night life of London pulsated in the darkness, as he looked out into the black city. Hadrian Conrad still wasn't sure of his involvement in this whole thing. He had been friends with both James and Lily and he had promised them to look out for their son but Harry's siding with the Blood Mages, the evil that his family had tried to destroy for many centuries, still weighted heavily on his mind.
"Why didn't you tell me?" The bitter voice of his best friends' son penetrated his thoughts, focusing him on the memory he found himself in.
A stabbing pain, as bitter as the voice, ran through him, assaulting both body and mind.
Betrayal… why didn't you tell me ?... sensei…sensei…why…
With short, painful gasps Conrad fell to his knees and although he whished to close his eyes, something didn't permit him to do so. He needed to see this, whatever this was.
His best friends' son didn't look happy. Not in the least.
"You weren't ready. What should I have told you? That you are from a family that has shame covering their blood? That they were one of the most fanatical families that were hunters? That they murdered and raped and slaughtered the innocents that were not pure enough, not light enough, in their eyes?" With each and every word a new pain spread through his body, making him cry out.
Cursed…cursed…monster…demon…murderer…
"What should I have told you, Hade?"
"The truth! The TRUTH, DAMN IT!", yelled the desperate young man at his sensei. He, too, like Conrad, was on his knees, clutching his chest but not crying or sobbing, even though he looked ready to do so. But his face reflected the growing agony he felt that speared him with every word and ripped him apart with every sentence.
"Should I have told you that it was a Potter, who almost led Avalon to its doom?"
The shock that coursed through his veins was not his, though he felt it as deeply as the youth.
"That is not true…that can't be true…not Avalon…not AVALON!" He shook his head in denial, muttering softly under his breath until a hand fell on his shoulder. The soft but determined eyes of his mentor, his sensei, stared at him, willing him to accept the inescapable.
"Yes, Hade. Your bloodline is cursed, forevermore damned to suffer the consequences of the greatest of betrayals."
"Then everything I ever wanted, everything I worked for, will count nothing. A cursed bloodline cannot be redeemed." And with that he broke down. Hade didn't cry nor did he utter another sound, but the anguish that came in waves from him spoke of a suffering rarely seen in someone so young. "There is no hope."
"There is still hope."
"Not for me."
"Even for you. But only if you're ready to do something drastic."
Desperate eyes looked at the man, conveying how important it was for him. Seeing this, the man sighed. The only way to redeem Hade was dangerous and difficult but he truly saw no alternative.
"You have to purge the Potter blood from yourself and replace it with something else, another bloodline."
Hade's eyes widened.
"What?" he whispered and Conrad heard the thoughts of his pupil clearly.
A purging of a BLOODLINE?! Everyone who tried that died!
"You heard me. There is no other way, if you want to continue on your path."
Hade swallowed.
"How?" Resolve entered his voice.
"As you know your late godfather made you his heir, when he accepted the title." He paused. Hade nodded. He knew this.
"What you don't know is that Sirius Black came from a family completely devoted to the cause of the Blood Mages and, contrary to popular belief, Sirius shared these beliefs."
WHAT?!
In the mind of Hadrian Conrad something went completely and utterly still, before exploding in disbelief and denial. This could not be true. Sirius, one of his best friends, could not truly share the ideas of the Blood Mages. He had always been against the Dark and was firmly rooted in the Light. How could that happen?
"You might be surprised but it's true. Did you know that Severus Snape and Sirius Black had been the best of friends when they had been kids?" The utter astonishment at that was reflected not only on Hade's face but also on Conrad's.
"Friends?" stated Hade unbelievingly.
"Yes, friends." An amused smiled crossed the mentor's face as he said that. "It's strange, isn't it? I mean, that the best of friends suddenly turn into bitter enemies." He paused.
"It was not a coincidence."
"What do you mean by that, sensei?"
"You see, dear Hade, shortly after Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor – and he was sorted into there because he was extraordinarily brave – a curse was laid upon him. It changed almost all his convictions into their exact opposite and the curse was cast by none other than James Potter, your father."
Pain ripped into his soul, not only Hade's but his own as well. It was not possible. James Potter had been one of the most honorable men he had ever known. He had been kind, brave and good-natured. Conrad just couldn't believe that James would have done something like that. To change a person's convictions was the darkest of the mind magics. Surely there was another reason, another explanation.
"Why? Why would someone do such a shameful act?"
"There are many reasons but one was probably foremost on the minds of the Templars. It was in their stead that James acted. He believed in what they said. Why wouldn't he? He had grown up with their prejudice." He sighed. "Fact is that the Templars knew that the Blacks were completely devoted to Salazar Slytherin's cause and thus the cause of the Blood Mages. They had never managed to gather inside information from the Blood Mages or to turn one of them. With Sirius in Gryffindor it was the ideal opportunity to do so. Very few supporters of the Blood Mages went into Gryffindor at that time, so Sirius had almost no backup. The curse was cast and no one truly noticed it, except Sirius' cousin Bellatrix Lestrange."
Hate swept through him, as he heard that name. These feelings were not his but Hade's. Burning passion, a will to kill this woman tightened its hold on him. How could a person, a human being, feel so much hatred? This wasn't simply the wanting to have revenge. No, this was bloodlust.
…Kill her…KILL her…KILL HER…KILL…KILL…KILL…
Images of a beautiful, dark-haired woman, covered in her own blood, painfully grasping for air assaulted his mind. She was pleading with him to let her live. Deep blue eyes stared at him, becoming lifeless as the red life-giving blood soaked into the ground. The blood, it was so red. Too red. Crimson water. Too much. It was too much.
…slaughter…slaughter…SLAUGHTER HER!...
The voices. They were everywhere. Below. Left. Right. Behind. He couldn't stand it. He couldn't, he couldn't, he couldn't…and he screamed.
A painful, agonizing scream tore from his lips. Blood began to ooze from his eyes and dropped like tears to the ground.
"Help me…" a choked, whispered plea for aid escaped Conrad's mouth.
Mentally, he screamed for something, anything to help him. This bloodlust; it was too much. He would never understand this desire, this fantasy of Hade that was so cold and cruel. Conrad began to sob, not caring about the reason he was there. He wanted this pain to end. He would do anything for it to end.
Suddenly, he heard the hoofs of a horse. Yellow light enveloped him, shielding him from the thoughts and images he had to endure for so long. Warmth spread through him and he finally dared to open his eyes. In front of him stood a magnificent stallion made of beautiful yellow energy. The words of the Blood Mage Slytherin came to his mind. This was the companion, the spirit that protected him.
Now, he could focus on the conversation happening in front of him. It seemed as if Hade didn't so much as flinch at these images.
Could it be…? Does he really hate so much? Is this, perhaps …a secret fantasy?"
"Yes, Bellatrix. I know you hate her but your hate is unfounded."
"Unfounded? UNFOUNDED?!" growled the angry teenager.
"Yes, it is. She was the one who recognized the curse. Bellatrix and Sirius had a very good relationship before he was cursed. When she found out what was done to him, she partly reversed the curse. Sirius had never been truly free from it because only the caster could have dissolved it. But from time to time he had moments where his personality returned to its previous condition. One such time he blood adopted you as his only son and heir."
Tears settled into the eyes of the youth. His godfather, his true father, had taken him in as his son. The joy inside himself spread until it encompassed his whole body, removing the images of a dying Bellatrix completely.
"So I am…truly his son?"
A thin smile appeared on his mentor's lips.
"Yes. James didn't know about the blood adoption, only Lily. I don't know why she allowed it. There were rumors at that time that she had an affair with Sirius but nothing was ever proven."
Lily and … Sirius? Could it be true?
"Anyway, if you want to go through with the purging, you'll have to reject the Potter blood forever and curse the bloodline into submission to the Blood Mages."
Submission? That hasn't been done for a thousand years! To curse a bloodline into submission is like making its magic, its gifts and its heritage into slaves to the Blood Mages! Surely, he didn't do that!
"I understand."
"The full acceptance of the Black Blood will rid you of the Potter Blood but you will not be redeemed in the eyes of the Council of Blood. Only, if an old bloodline finds you worthy, will you truly be accepted."
"What must be done?"
"You will need a sacrifice, human, I think. You share a gift with the Slytherin line. It is close enough to have a chance at success. But before you do that you will have to show the Slytherin line that you have their treasured qualities. I know you can do that but for that you'll have to drop most of your masks. The ghosts of the Founders Four are inside Hogwarts. You will have to show them that you are worthy. Then and only then may you try to gain Slytherin's favor."
A determined expression settled on the youth's face. Finally a small, true smile appeared.
"Soon, the cursed bloodline of the Potters will be no more. I will finally be free."
And with that one sentence Conrad felt his heart break. He didn't know what to believe anymore. Was James truly a bad person? What about the Potter bloodline? Was it still in existence? What should he do now? Was this the son of his dead friends? Was he an enemy?
Tears began to fall down his face. Anguish and pain were embracing him. With a final glance at the cracks that were appearing all over the room, Hadrian Conrad began to sob, not noticing or perhaps not caring for the broken shards of glass falling around him.
A/N: I hope you liked it. Well, what do you think? Who is this person that has been cornered by Rhade? What do you think about the memories and Sirius' story? Let me know.
Here are some translations for the Latin sentences in this chapter. I hope it's more or less accurate. I didn't have a Latin lesson for years now.
"Invoco Isisam, protecte me! Genius invocat!""I invoke Isis, protect me! Protection spirit invoked!"
Gratias ago I give my gratitude
Sanguis tei The blood is yours
Exitus End/Finish