Summary: What's with the hair? One episode, the hair is long, next thing, major hairstyle change, and no one ever says anything. Here's my take on why Sam's hair got short midseason four.
Category: Humor, Action/Adventure
Season: Four, no spoilers
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Minor language
Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author.
A/N: I just couldn't resist the idea when it popped into my head. I've heard Amanda Tapping's explanation of just trying out a bad hairstyle, and recovering from one bad hairdo with another bad hairdo… but all I could think was how boring… So this was my attempt on a little erstwhile Sam adventure. Also, special thanks to Neuropsych for letting me nip a little variation on their title. If you haven't read "A Harry Situation", it's really quite good. Even if you've never read Harry Potter (where have you been?) it's still very good. Besides, Jack hasn't read Harry Potter either it seems…

A Hairy Situation by iamdragonrider

Major Samantha Carter surveyed the narrow opening dubiously. Teal'c had just managed to create the entry by removing the metal grate covering the small hole with a bit of might over matter. The old rusted bits of metal securing the piece to the wall hadn't stood a chance against the Jaffa warrior's determination. Question was, would his effort matter? Her shoulders would just barely fit into the opening, which meant that none of the three men with her would have a chance at fitting inside the crawlspace. Pushing her medium length blonde hair back behind her ears, she stepped up onto the rough bench on one side of the cell, conveniently placed under the new opening, Sam felt inside the crawlspace, wincing in disgust when her hand came back covered in a brownish green slime.

"Oh, gross. You guys are so going to owe me." She stepped off the bench and looked around for somewhere to wipe her hand off and gave up, settling for shaking as much of the goo off as she could. Daniel Jackson took a step back to avoid the spraying droplets. Teal'c raised an eyebrow.

Across the cell, where he sat on a second bench with his arms crossed, Colonel Jack O'Neill just commented sarcastically. "Yeah, well, drinks are on me when we get out of here Carter."

Carter narrowed her eyes at her superior officer, and sent a glance at the small, dark opening as if to say they'd owe her more than a drink, or two or three or four, and then she sighed. Knowing the futility in delay, not to mention the increased likelihood of them getting caught, she made up her mind and squared her shoulders. She still didn't have to like it though. Why did she have to be the smallest member on the team anyway? Why couldn't say, Teal'c be the smallest. It wasn't fair for him to be the largest and the strongest. And the Colonel was in charge; he could lose a little in the size department himself. While she was at it, it certainly wouldn't hurt Daniel's reputation any if he were smaller, and more delicate appearing. In fact, a large number of the female population of the base preferred Daniel when he was geeky and wiry looking to the more recent, more buff looking Daniel that spent time in the gym working out. The Daniel that wouldn't fit in the small hole that only Samantha Carter, smallest member on the team would fit through. Grumbling uncharitable thoughts under her breath, Sam shucked off her jacket, wishing she could keep it but knowing the added bulk would hamper her efforts in the narrow crawlspace and passed the item to Daniel, and jumped back up on the bench, gauging the distance, studying the wall for handy toeholds.

"Hey, Teal'c, can you give me a boost?" Teal'c merely nodded, and moved up on the bench alongside her. At the sign of action, Jack jumped up off his own bench and came to help.

"Carter." His soft voice caused the two of them to pause momentarily, Teal'c kneeling, her boot in his cupped palms, her arms outstretched, hands gripping the slippery edge of the vent opening trying to find purchase.

Looking down at him, Sam frowned slightly. "Sir?"

"Be careful out there, ok?"

She nodded, and smiled softly. "Yes sir."

He returned the nod, and then moved to help Teal'c, positioning his hands on either side of her slim waist. In the end, it took all three men to get Carter up into the crawlspace, because she was unable to pull her self up at all due to the slippery nature of the slime coating the edges of the opening which prevented her from getting a firm grip. On the other hand, it provided excellent lubrication so that once they got her in far enough they could just push her and she slid right on in. On the third hand, and no one wanted to mention that this was a few too many hands, especially Carter, who had ended up being groped accidentally a bit too much in the process of getting her from the floor into the vent.

Finally though, they could only see the Major's boot soles, and the Major, well she couldn't see much of anything. And it was seriously creeping her out, because she hadn't even gone two inches past the opening and was already seriously covered in something disgustingly clingy, wet, slimy, and cold, that she didn't even want to think about what it might be. Not to mention the crawl space was smelly and terribly confining and she was having serious second, third and fourth thoughts about this whole grand plan.

"Carter?" The layers of cold stone and her own body blocking the opening muffled the colonel's voice.

"Yes sir?" Sam took slow measured breaths and latched onto her CO's voice like an anchor, in order to hold back the rising panic of being in such a confined space.

"How's it going in there?"

"Um, it's dark. And really tight. And you are all so going to owe me for this." With that, Sam took another slow breath, through her mouth so as not to smell the stench of the musty crawlspace, and started to move forward. Well, actually, slide. Yeck. The stuff squelched. Gross. There wasn't room for her to crawl, so she had to slide along on her belly and within moments the sludge had soaked through her t-shirt and fatigue pants, coming in cold contact with her bare skin. It had also liberally coated her hair, and she suddenly missed her shorter haircuts, wondering what had possessed her to grow it out so long. Carter suppressed a shudder and called back one last thing, before her outstretched fingers encountered the first bend, in what she suspected was one of many to come. "And I get the showers first."

She could almost see the smiles as the muffled chuckles filtered back to her. "Sure thing Carter, you get us out of here, you call the showers first, it's a deal."

And then she had wriggled around the bend, and she found it prudent to no longer call to her teammates, lest they be overheard. And the darkness seemed even more oppressive somehow without that small connection as she slithered along in the darkness. She couldn't even see her own hand in front of her face, nor the walls of the tunnel walls, which were so close they brushed within an inch of each shoulder. Water dripped, and the slime wormed its way into her clothing making her itch in uncomfortable places, and her imagination started to run wild, as she started to visualize all sorts of creepy crawly things that could be in the small cramped space with her. Suddenly, her skin was crawling with many legged things, and she had to resist the urge to shudder or scream. Squeezing her eyes shut for several moments Sam wasted precious time, cursing her weakness while she freaked out, before getting herself back under control.

"Cool it Carter, there probably are things in her, but you can't do anything now, so just keep moving. That's right, you can do it. Sooner you get out of here, sooner you can get the guys out of that cell and get the hell out of here and get that hot shower. And then you can use up all the hot water and all the soap, and all the shampoo." She'd probably need all the shampoo too, she thought, thinking of how long her hair was, the longest she'd ever had it since joining the military actually. Figured the one time it was this long would be the one time she was crawling in some kind of alien drain pipe getting it covered in some sort of alien glop. Best not to think about it Major.

Was it maybe a little bit lighter ahead? Encouraged, Sam put on a small burst of speed. Yes! There was a small rectangle of gray light ahead, and down. Eagerly, she squirmed along on her stomach towards it, still unable to see the tunnel, but the slime aided her speed and the little rectangle was a tangible goal in the oppressive darkness surrounding her. Suddenly, he hands dipped down, with nothing under them but air. With a strangled yelp, Sam tried to back up and halt her forward progress, but the slime and her momentum worked against her, and the next thing she knew she was hurtling head and arms first down a slime coated chute towards the small gray patch, and gaining speed. Bringing up her arms to protect her head, Sam flinched, and moments later, she struck a metal grate, similar to the one Teal'c had removed in their cell about a half an hour previously.

The small metal covering was not meant to withstand the force of a human body striking it with speed. It did try though, but held only for a few seconds, before giving out with a metallic creak as the small bolts ripped away from the stonewall that had secured it. Futilely, Sam tried to grab for something, anything to stop her fall, but only succeeded in wrenching her wrist painfully.

There was a moment of sickening freefall, the hour was late evening, and under to cover of darkness Sam had no way to gauge the distance. But her fall wasn't far after all, and she landed rather abruptly, managing in the short time to twist so as not to break her neck, with a rather disturbing splash. Floundering, Sam found herself literally swimming in the foulest most disgusting pond of alien slime she'd ever seen.

"Oh, ew. Gross. Yuck. Bleh." A stream of words that could not describe how exactly disgusting the pool was, were whispered as Major Sam Carter did a quick inventory. No broken bones. Check. Completely soaked in slime. Double check. Yuck. She slipped several times getting out of the mess, and it was mud for quite a way around the pool. Disgusted, Sam tried to shake as much of the slop off as she could, but simply couldn't. The stuff was thick, with a viscous clingy consistency. She tried unsuccessfully to get some of it out of her hair and gave it up as a lost cause. The stuff seemed to like her, although she couldn't say the feeling was mutual. Glancing up briefly at the sky, she wondered just whom she had pissed off today and what she could do to make amends, before squelching her way to the corner of the building. The stuff was even inside her boots, not to mention several other rather uncomfortable places she'd rather not mention. There was no time for it, she had to get the rest of her team out of the cell, and then they had to make it back to the stargate if she wanted that hot shower and warm dry clean clothes. The guys were so gonna owe her.

The mere thought of clean clothes made her think about just how filthy she was, and her skin started to crawl and itch, adding to all her other little discomforts. Stiff muscles protested her movements, already uncomfortable from being manhandled by the natives, confined in a cold damp cell for hours, and then crawling through the tight spaces, and now the fall. Sam stretched slightly, checking for any hidden injuries she might have missed on her initial assessment. Her left wrist gave a twinge where she'd wrenched it, and her cheek was sore where it had impacted against the grate despite her arms covering her head, and she felt a few achy bruises starting on her hip, shoulder and leg, but otherwise the mud pit seemed to have absorbed the brunt of her fall. Sam snorted, guess it could have been worse. Still, she was getting itchy. Nah, likely her imagination. Focusing on the task at hand, Sam crouched down, and ducked behind some convenient bushes. She'd just found what appeared to be the front entrance to the compound.

Two bored looking guards stood outside. The building was two stories and resembled a miniature keep, complete with turrets. Fortunately for Sam, it wasn't heavily guarded, as the only guards seemed to be the two out front. In fact, the building had an overall look of disuse to it. Come to think of it, as SG-1 had been led inside, most of the cells had seemed to be empty. Sam wondered what that meant. Deciding she really didn't care, and just wanted to go home, she looked about for something to create a diversion. And there, she saw it. Nothing too big, but it would hopefully be enough to draw them away without drawing too many more people.

The keep was on top of a hill. Left in front of the building was a cart, with some barrels on it. A low wall came practically right up to the cart, providing excellent cover. Sam didn't know what was in the barrels, but all that held the barrels on the cart was a rope. Sticking to the shadows and cover, Sam slipped carefully out to the cart, sighing in relief when she wasn't spotted. It was short work untying the rope, and only a little bit of effort to send the barrels rolling, the smell indicating they were filled with some kind of liquor. Sam remained out of sight as the two guards shouted, and as she hoped ran after the barrels. Watching the guards, Sam decided they were just not used to dealing with prisoners. The keep seemed to have not been used as a prison in a long time, the guards were just local villagers pressed into service when SG-1 had been taken captive by orders of the town governor. Now if only they'd been able to convince the town leader to just let them go… But the man had been greedy convinced that if he'd held them hostage, he'd be able to get more supplies and materials by force than by honest trade, and Sam hadn't been particularly comfortable with the way he'd casually suggested maybe killing one of them if he didn't get what he wanted. Obviously, neither had the Colonel. So that would be why Sam was now covered in this planet's excuse for mud, evading untrained villagers and looking for their own way out rather than waiting for their check in time to pass and hoping for rescue.

The guards occupied, Sam ducked low and was inside the building. There were no more guards. There were however a set of keys on the table just inside the first room. Grabbing it and one of the nightstick like weapons she found in the room that the villagers on this planet seemed to favor, Sam headed in the direction that she remembered SG-1 having been taken before.

There was one villager on guard outside the cell. She took him by surprise, barely giving him a chance to raise his own nightstick in defense before she had him laid out cold on the stone floor. Their all too brief scuffle alerted the occupants to her arrival.

"Carter?" The Colonel's voice sounded on the other side of the thick wooden door.

Sam hastened to find the right key. "Here sir." She tried the first one. No luck. The second and third keys didn't work either, but the fourth one worked, and the door opened with a creak of long unused hinges.

Her three teammates looked at her in surprise. She just glared back. "Don't ask."

Daniel's mouth opened and closed. Teal'c raised an eyebrow. Jack blinked. "I wasn't going to say anything." Sam narrowed her eyes at him. "Honest. We, should, uh, go."

But Sam had just gotten another idea. The cell next to the one they'd been in was also locked, and was the only other closed door in the entire row. Taking the fifth key on a hunch, she inserted it quickly in the lock, grinning when it opened on the first try. "Uh, Carter?" she heard her CO behind her, but she just pushed the door open, and motioned for the three to look.

Jack gave her a look, than did as she asked, breaking into a grin. "Sweet." For a moment, he looked like he was going to clap her on the shoulder, but after giving her a quick glance, he changed his mind, and entered the cell, quickly tossing a Zat to Carter, Teal'c and Daniel, keeping one for himself, and grabbing two P-90's. Teal'c had entered to secure his staff weapon, and by that time, Daniel had located the GDO and a radio. Carter looked longingly about for their packs, but the packs, as well as their vests were conspicuously missing. Surprisingly, the town's governor had been most fascinated by the fabrics of their spare clothing than by their weapons and technology, which was likely the reason why their weapons were stowed here, but their packs and vests were missing. Sam sighed, even if the packs were there, she'd not have time to change anyway. As if sensing her thought, Daniel smiled sheepishly and passed her her jacket. She smiled at him, and pulled it on gratefully, welcoming its warmth. Better than nothing.

"There's two guards outside Colonel, I distracted them, but wasn't able to disable them before coming in here." Jack nodded, and motioned for her to lead the way.

It took only minutes for them to disable the two villagers, who were still busy chasing down the rolling barrels, with the newfound Zats. They locked all three up in the cell they'd been in.

Under the cover of night, they stole through the sleeping village, and about fifteen minutes later had slipped out into the surrounding woods. During the three hour long trek back to the stargate, the sludge coating Carter gradually began to dry out and stiffen, becoming more and more uncomfortable. And she was really starting to itch. And she didn't even want to think about what her hair looked like. Her steps started to slow as her discomfort worsened. The Colonel noticed.

"Carter? Something wrong?" He'd stopped, looking back at her with concern.

She used the opportunity to scratch at her shoulder, and realized he was waiting. Blushing, she tried to think of a response, but the itching was starting to drive her nuts. "I'm uh, itching sir."

She could almost see his eyebrows shoot up in the pale moonlight.

"The mud sir, it's drying out, and it's making me itch." She tried to explain, but right now, all she cared about was getting a particularly pesky itch right between her shoulder blades, and since they weren't moving…

Suddenly he was standing next to her, studying her in the pale moonlight. "I think you might have a rash Carter. Damn, I wish we had a flashlight." She blinked at him, eyes suddenly wide.

"A rash? Sir?" The implications were slow to connect in her mind, which was preoccupied with every itchy spot on her body. She barely realized that she was now using both her hands to seek out the itches. The Colonel was very carefully not touching her. Daniel stood to one side, watching the exchange in amused concern.

"Yeah Carter, there must be something in that stuff you're covered in. We better warn them when we dial in, so they can have decontam ready. We're almost at the gate, we should keep moving." He started to walk away, than shot back over his shoulder, "Just don't touch anything, ok?"

She blinked after him, "Yes sir," her reply automatic, her fingers distractedly finding the itchy spots, but more and more itchy spots seemed to be finding her. And she felt like her stupid hair was alive or something. She was never ever going to let it grow out again.

"Major Carter?" Teal'c was standing near her, inclining his head towards the retreating figure of the Colonel.

"Oh. Sorry." She stumbled after the Colonel, suddenly dying for a hot shower. It seemed to take forever for the gate to appear, and it was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. Well almost. Right now, she thought a bar of soap might be even more beautiful.

Daniel was already dialing, and as soon as their GDO signal had been sent, Jack was on the radio, explaining the situation. In the bluish light of the wormhole, they could all now see small bumps and red skin under the layer of dried mud and slime that coated her skin and clothing. Sam had given up resisting the urge to scratch long ago and was now vigorously rubbing her arms and squirming, impatiently waiting for Dr. Fraiser to be appraised of the situation and to get the go ahead to come through the gate.

Finally after about the longest fifteen minutes of her life, they got the all clear, and SG-1 was met in the gate room by a med team in hazmat suits. It didn't take long for Dr. Fraiser to determine that Sam was the only one that needed special attention, and she was taken, looking very miserable, to a large shower in one of the containment rooms, where the long process of trying to figure out just what the stuff was and why it was causing such a reaction began.

Unfortunately, right away, they discovered that the substance reacted strangely with the soap, shampoo, and water, becoming even more viscous, rather like egg yolk, albeit a sickly greenish brown egg yolk. One with remarkable tenacity. Janet was eerily reminded of the play slime sold in cans for children to play with. As soon as she saw how the stuff was reacting, she sent another sample to the lab and told them to start trying various safe for human chemicals on it, in the hopes of finding one to aid in getting the stuff off the Major, who by now was covered head to toe in an itchy, raised red rash, and was doing all she could to remain still for Janet and the two nurses in bulky environmental suits.

Resorting to wiping as much as the muck away as possible with towels as she could until the lab came back with something, and not having much success, Janet took a closer look at the rash. "Sam, I think this is just an allergic reaction. These look like hives."

"Hives?" Sam stopped her fidgeting long enough to look at the doctor.

"Yes. We'll have to run some tests later, to be sure, but I think so. Which means I think I can stop the itching, or at least help it." She turned to a third nurse who was nearby, not geared up in an environmental suit in case they needed something.

"Oh please Janet, anything." Sam tried to pull her arm from one of the nurses but the first thing Janet had done was instruct the two to keep the Major from scratching herself raw, and judging by the redness of her skin, that was something the unfortunate woman had been doing for most of the trip home.

Janet just smiled sympathetically, and nodded to the nurse. "50 mg of Benadryl, IM stat now please Nurse Ayers."

A moment later the nurse returned with a syringe, which she passed to Dr. Fraiser. The doctor tried to find a clear area to inject the medication, but there weren't many choices. "This might make you drowsy," she said as she swabbed to woman's arm.

"I don't care, as long as the itching goes away." She flinched as Janet injected the med. A chair was brought for her, as Janet and the nurses continued to work on removing the glop. Sam did try to help, but she tended to scratch whenever someone let go of her arms, so they tended to keep her distracted.

It took about fifteen minutes for the Benadryl to start kicking in, but almost immediately, the itching started to improve and the hives started to become less pronounced. But Janet knew that wouldn't last as long as the cause of the allergic reaction remained in contact with the Major's skin.

As if on cue, a lab tech appeared in the doorway, peeking around the curtain, hastily averting his eyes from the droopy eyed Major slumping in the chair, several towels strategically covering important places. "Dr. Fraiser?" the man said, stepping back behind the curtain.

"Yes?" Janet moved in front of Sam, safeguarding her privacy, although at this point, Sam didn't seem much to care about anything. Benadryl was some pretty good stuff.

"We think we have a solution to break up the alien material. One that won't hurt Major Carter." He held a large jug of something out, remaining behind the curtain.

Janet stepped forward and took it, raising an eyebrow. "Vinegar?"

"Yes ma'am," came the disembodied reply. There was a pause, and the man added, "The commissary didn't have any Apple Cider Vinegar. I didn't think you would want to wait while someone went out for some, and we tested it to see if it worked as well."

Janet exchanged a glance with the two nurses, and dismissed the lab tech. "Thank you, we'll try it right now and let you know how it works out." Turning back to the sleepy Major, Janet wished they did have some of the Apple Cider variety, as the White Distilled kind she now held was a bit more caustic, not to mention a lot smellier. And her own grandmother had always sworn by the medicinal properties of Apple Cider Vinegar. She'd always sworn it did everything from soften skin, to sooth sunburn, cure acne, as well as aid a number of internal problems when swallowed by the teaspoon daily. Being forced to use the white vinegar instead would mean they would have to use a variety of lotions and conditioners afterwards to make the unfortunate Major comfortable. But there was no hope for it, they had to get the junk off of her before it hardened again, making her even more uncomfortable than she already was. Janet held up the bottle. "Well ladies, shall we?"

They poured the fragrant liquid into a basin, and wet clothes. The smell quickly brought Sam awake again. She seemed dubious at first, but was relieved when she saw that this time it seemed to be working. The vinegar seemed to dissolve the slime, and it came off her skin rather than clinging on like it had.

"And now, we can do something about your hair." Janet looked at the mess with a frown. While they'd worked on the rest of her, the soap and shampoo from earlier had hardened, forming a stiff shell. Sam reached up a hand and touched it tentatively.

"It itches." She sounded pathetic. She looked even more pathetic, with her skin pink and blotchy, covered with hives, though those were much better since the Benadryl. And now that the slime was gone, Janet could see she also had a bruise on her cheek and several more bruises on shoulder, hip, and thigh, and her wrist was swollen. Janet sighed; looked like the Major's physical was long from over once they were done in here.

Unfortunately for all involved, the vinegar did not seem to work on the Major's hair. It was just too stiff. Or maybe the dried shampoo had done something to change it further. Janet frowned. Sam squirmed, struggling to keep her eyes open. Between exhaustion and the Benadryl, she didn't stand a chance.

"We could try soaking it. Or…" She trailed off. It wasn't fair to suggest it; they hadn't really tried anything else.

"Or what?" Sam looked up at her sleepily. She shivered slightly despite the blanket they had wrapped around her while working on her hair.

Janet didn't answer, looking back at the hair again. They'd been working the vinegar into her hair for the last twenty minutes, and it was just as stiff as when they'd started. In fact, it almost seemed worse, not to mention the smell. Between the vinegar, and the smell of the alien sludge, Sam's hair reeked.

"Janet, what? It's really starting to itch worse now." Sam was fidgeting in her seat again, and Janet looked closely at the Major in concern, noticing that the skin near the roots of her hair was turning red.

Mind made up, Janet decided. "I think we're going to have to cut it Sam."

Sam's eyes widened, and then she blinked a few times before nodding. "Ok, just do it. Please hurry, its really getting worse."

Slightly surprised that Sam had acquiesced so quickly and easily, and hoping the other woman wouldn't regret it, Janet nodded briskly. "Ok, scissors. Quickly." The nurse in the doorway moved fast, and was back in moments with more than one pair. Janet and one of the other nurses went to work on Sam's head, cutting away the ruined hair, leaving as much as she dared to, which unfortunately wasn't much. The stiff clumps of hair fell to the floor with audible clinks, like small bits of stone. Sometimes the scissors jammed, since the slime had formed something akin to cement in Sam's hair. Sam was so uncomfortable, there was no time for finesse, and so the finished results were… interesting. And Janet Fraiser and her nurses were definitely not hairdressers.

Finally, they had cut as much out as they could, and Janet surveyed the finished product, deciding that a quick wash was in order before they decided how bad it looked. Quickly, they scrubbed with vinegar, and thankfully the few spots they'd been unable to cut out dissolved with the aid of a gentle massage, the hair softening. And at only about an inch short in most places (and here Janet cringed, since unfortunately, Sam's hair varied in length around her head, looking like a child had taken scissors to her head) it was very soft.

One more vinegar wash all over, and then one vigorous soap and hot water wash to get rid of the vinegar smell, before Janet let Sam change into scrubs, and let the rest of them out of the environmental suits. Just before letting Sam walk out into the corridor to the infirmary, Janet caught Sam's arm, and rummaged in a drawer.

"Here, put this on." She handed the woman something. Sam took it curiously, before she realized what it was. When she did, her eyes widened.

"Is it really that bad?"

Janet refused to meet her eye, instead grabbing the Major's arm, leaving Sam no choice but to put the surgical cap on. "I'm sorry Sam. Now let's go get the rest of you checked out."

Several hours later, the male part of SG-1 greeted a drowsy Sam, who sat up in her infirmary bed. The rash was much better, and the hives were barely noticeable thanks to her second dose of Benadryl.

"Hey, Carter, I thought allergies were Danny's department." Jack motioned to the younger man, who scowled. His scowled softened though, when Sam snorted, smiling softly.

"Sorry sir, I'll leave it to Daniel next time." Daniel's scowl returned, but this time it was mocking, as he perched on the end of Sam's bed.

"I don't usually do rashes Sam. I think you can keep this one." He waggled his eyebrows up and down teasingly.

"It is good to see you are much improved Major Carter." Teal'c commented before Sam could continue the impromptu debate with Daniel, which was probably a good thing. Rashes were always a bit of a touchy subject.

"Thank you Teal'c, I'm feeling much better now that we got that stuff off of me." She smiled at the large man, who was standing at the foot of the bed, his arms crossed behind his back. Teal'c inclined his head briefly, a pleased look on his face.

Next to the bed, Jack was staring at her head. "Carter, is your hair different?"

Sam reached up, and her fingers encountered the surgical cap. Her cheeks grew warm, and she ducked her head, staring at the blanket. "The, uh, stuff kinda reacted with the soap and water and got really hard. Janet had to cut my hair." Oh what the hell, they'd see it eventually anyway. With that thought, Sam reached up and removed the cap.

When the silence had lengthened into several moments, Sam looked up. The three were staring, Jack and Daniel obviously trying to work out who should say something. She couldn't help but be amused by their facial expressions. Teal'c as usual was unreadable. She met his eye almost challengingly.

With an eyebrow raised, Teal'c returned her gaze. "Is it not true that hair grows at a rate of ½ an inch per month?"

Sam blinked at the unexpected response, and then she grinned. She hadn't thought about it like that. Here she was wallowing about how awful she must look, but it was just hair, and it would grow back. "Thanks Teal'c."

Teal'c just nodded.

"You know, from this side, you hardly notice…" Jack was holding up his hands, and cocking his head to the side. Sam stared at him in disbelief.

"I hear hats are in style this time of year." Daniel remarked innocently staring at the ceiling, clasping his hands together.

Jack changed tracks immediately. "Oh yeah. Hats." Jack pointed to the door. "I think I have something in my locker that might work. I'll just go get it." Jack beat a hasty retreat.

Daniel hopped off the bed, and motioned after Jack. "You know, I think I'll go give Jack a hand. Take it easy Sam."

"I will also assist O'Neill. Rest well Major Carter." Teal'c bowed his head one last time, and followed the other two men out the door, and it was all Sam could do to muffle her snorts in her pillow as she sank down under the covers.

She knew she should probably be a bit more upset about her hair, but she had just cheated death today, a feat SG-1 did more often than she cared to admit. And it would grow back, just like Teal'c had pointed out. Besides, there were hats. Snort. Oh man, she wondered what she could get out of the rest of them for this one? Grinning as she remembered their faces, Sam drifted off back to sleep.

Later, she awoke again, to find several small items on her bedside table. Curious, she picked the first one up, her fingers encountering soft knit fabric. Recognizing a dark knit hat like the one Teal'c often wore to hide his tattoo, Sam grinned, and reached for the other items. One was a bandanna, like the kind Daniel used to wear when his hair was longer, and the last was a green baseball cap, like the one the Colonel wore on missions, the brim already bent. Sam surveyed the unusual collection of hats and thought about the people that usually wore them. They made an odd family, her team. And like any family, they looked out for each other, even if that meant one family member suffered from a pesky rash and ended up with an embarrassing haircut in order to rescue the others, well the rest of the family would bring her hats until the hair grew back. Because that's what family did for each other. At least the family called SG-1. Sam pulled on the baseball cap, pulling the brim down low over her eyes and leaned back into her pillow with a satisfied smile on her face, secure in the knowledge that no matter what she looked like, she was still loved by her family.

And that was how Dr. Fraiser found her a while later, when she came to check on her. Sleeping with the baseball cap pulled down low, the bandana clutched in one hand, and the knit cap under the other lying on her stomach. Gifts from her teammates reminding her of what things were really important. Janet smiled at the sleeping Major. She'd tell her later when she woke that one of the other nurses that had just come on shift had a talent for doing hair, and had volunteered to see what she could do to fix up Sam's tonight. It wouldn't be perfect, but at least she might be able to make it look like hungry moths hadn't attacked the Major. Time would take care of the rest. Judging by the Major's facial expression though, the slight smile lingering even in her sleep, Janet thought Sam was doing just fine.