Shinji clamped his eyelids down tighter, desperately hoping for the sweet relief of sleep. He had just ended a long dragged out fight with Asuka, the result of which was the corner of a chair jammed into his spine. He shifted, feeling the sharp itch of the newly formed bruise, and let out a weary sigh. It would be worse tomorrow.
Earlier:
"What do you mean you think you know? You don't know anything about me!" Asuka was shouting at the top of her lungs by this point. Of all people why did HE have to come across right now? The great and mighty Shinji, the scared little boy who thought he was so perfect. Why couldn't he have just minded his own business? If he had just left her alone, let her sort this out herself instead of bothering her, just left her by herself.. she thought about it, glaring at the boy in front of her. He was standing behind a chair like he was hiding, using it as a shield. Why him? Just WHY?
"B-but I heard you. You were crying," he said quietly, his voice cracking shakely. The last thing he wanted to do was upset her more, but it was true. When he had walked by her room she been whailing like a hurt child. He knocked, stupidly hoping she'd tell him what was wrong. What ever was bothering her was obviously not a new occurance. Even her sync ratio with her Eva was dropping, drastically.
"No I wasn't. I don't cry" She clenched her fists on her hips, vainly trying to look stronger, like she was feigning invincibility. It was obvious that it was an act; her eyes were bloodshot, still filling with tears.
"Asuka... you're crying right now." Shinji was barely speaking at the level of a whisper. He knew what was coming.
She froze for a split second, reallity sinking in just slightly. Was she crying? Of course she was. This was her breaking down wasn't it? She felt weak, angry.
SLAP
She smacked her hand across his cheek, nearly knocking him over onto the corner of the kitchen table. He kept his face down. The dim light fading outside ran over his dark brown bangs, casting a shadow that nearly concealed his eyes.
"Sorry... I shouldn't have bothered you in the first place."
Somehow his last comment managed to hit a nerve, the redhaired girl didn't even know where it came from herself. She started yelling uncontrollably "You think so? Then why did you? Did you think you could fucking understand when I don't? Maybe you're better than me? Or maybe I wouldn't mind being bothered in the middle of something like this? You're just a spineless little boy! A pathetic weak child! Look at you, you can't even argue back!"
As she went on he squeezed his fingers to the palms of his hands, tensing them then letting them fall loosely at a rythmic pace. He had begun to get upset himself. Maybe she was right. The idea of being weak and pathetic was familiar to him, he felt that way right now. Every word that spilled from Asuka's mouth brought up another painful thought, each one cutting him like a knife. Why didn't she understand? It was frustrating. He wanted to choke her, like he could physically force the ideas he wanted her to have into her head.
Shinji took a step out from behind the chair, still tightening his fingers. Asuka had expected him to mope off into his room, so she was surprised to find him coming towards her. She stepped back quickly, only to be trapped against the cold wooden counter. He looked up into her big blue eyes, he could see fear clouding behind the glaze of unfallen tears. Immediately her head shot down and she looked away.
She shuddered as she felt his forearms brush against hers. That was it, she had finally broken him into snapping and he was going to kill her. It would be a fitting end she thought to herself. She deserved it after all, and no longer being able to pilot there really was no reason to keep going right? Her eyes closed and she took a long breath, arms pulled in close to her as she braced for what was about to happen. But pain never came, and after a few seconds she opened her eyes. Shinji was standing there, hands resting on the counter to either side of her carefully keeping himself from touching her. The look on his face was soft and worried.
"I'm not going to hurt you" he told her, knowing exactly why she had backed away like that. A pang of guilt hit him in right behind his throat, knowing how much he had wanted to a few seconds ago. He wrapped her in a hug, locking his hands on his elbows as she began to struggle to get away.
"Idiot! I don't want you hugging me! I ha-" She cut herself off in midsentance. Did she really hate him? She pondered for a moment staring down at the hem of her yellow dress, then finally giving in to Shinji's hug. Her posture became slumped and she leaned back against his arms, finally reaching around him and letting her head fall onto the furthest part of his shoulder.
He was surprised to say the least. The last thing Shinji had expected was her to hug him back. He would have been happy just not getting hit again. His arms loosened from each other and tightened around the girl, who was now seemingly calm. It was the first time he had hugged... well anyone since he was very young really. He didn't want to let go.
She could feel the side of his hand resting slightly against her shoulder blade. It was comforting; she could have stayed there for hours. What was wrong with her? She picked her head up. This couldn't be happenening. She couldn't be hugging this boy. This pathetic little worm.
He felt her hands leave his back, then on his chest. He looked up, what was it he saw in her face? He couldn't put his finger on it. Was it guilt? It all seemed so odd until he realized he was being flung backwards. A bad choice loosening his grip, he thought just before hitting the top of a chair. The wooden corner stabbed at his back, feeling like it would push between his vertabrae just as he slid down and hit the dusty floor. Asuka just looked at him for a moment, almost like she had regretted it.
"Idiot.." her voice was barely audible as she hurried off to her room.
Hmmmm... well that's the first chapter. I don't know why but writing always makes me hungry, so like usual I'm gonna go get some food. I think ...raviolis with the extra cheese and the four cheese sauce and grated cheese (I like cheese) and a big thing of chocolate milk with the powder so i can leave a little bit at the top. ya, i think i might be a little hungry. i'm gonna go get dinner.. breakfast w/e lol. anyway if you review you'll make me super happy: )