The Replacement

A Bleach fanfic by Rabid Lola

Disclaimer: Hail Kubo Tite. :D I wish the translated Volume 7 would come out already.

I hope Kon's not OOC here. First time writing for Bleach. Set…any time before Soul Society arc, but most probably after Grand Fisher arc.

…---…

It's weird.

Why have I never thought about it before?

I mean, come on, why now, after centuries of existence in that godawful, small white pill do I start wondering…What do I really look like?

It's dark, right now. Nighttime. Rukia-neesan's sleeping peacefully in the closet—I love the soothing sound of her breathing—Ichigo's asleep in his bed. Gods, he frowns even in his sleep. How does he do that?

I don't sleep, you know. A stuffed toy doesn't need sleep.

The body I am presently occupying has no need of sleep.

Or food.

Or drink…

When I'm in Ichigo's body, I can feel things. Hunger. Thirst. Sleepiness. Pain. Actual pain, from nerves in the body sending messages to the brain (Rukia-neesan kicks hard), not pain felt through cloth and cotton and the knowledge that some orange-haired, bad-tempered kid's trying to pull your ear off.

I can feel physical things, human things, when I'm in Ichigo's body.

Ichigo's body.

Every soul had a body once. The people in Soul Society…the place Rukia-neesan comes from, all of them were alive once. All the souls in Heaven, all the souls in Jigoku, they all had bodies, once.

But not mod souls.

Not me.

Why, only now, do I wonder what I look like?

In my own body?

My own body. I am not a pill.

Ichigo shifts and grumbles in his sleep. It's his fault I'm thinking all this.

Duty called again today. Rukia-neesan and Ichigo got some hollow alarm. I walked around in Ichigo's body. I made the mistake of going to the bathroom.

I don't know why it hit me then. I was looking in the mirror. Moving. Pulling faces. It wasn't my face.

It was Ichigo's face.

And tonight, when everyone was asleep, I waddled to the window, and was able to see a bit of my reflection.

It was a stuffed, battered, button-eyed lion's face.

Not my face. Kon's face.

Kon. I don't even have a real name. Rukia-neesan and Ichigo came up with that name for me. And I existed, nameless, before they even knew about me. They didn't…give birth to me. (That concept is HORRIBLE!)

I remember the first time I was in Ichigo's body. It was the first time I'd ever been in a body. It felt…awesome. Wonderful. Free.

Unattainable.

At first, I was so glad to be in a body. To have arms, legs, to feel a heart beating, and the air flowing in and out of lungs. To have a face that mirrored what I was feeling, what I was thinking.

I don't know when it hit me, that the body wasn't mine.

What was it I told Ichigo again? The story. Of my siblings. And me. We deserved to live. Not to be killed for what we were made for.

But…

We were so focused on living, I guess none of us really thought…that the lives we'd be functioning in, and acting for…wouldn't' be ours. We'd be machines, tools, pawns in a job. Pills to be popped in and out of dead bodies when need be.

It makes me think, maybe my brothers and sisters are better off, after all.

Maybe.

At least, I'm alive, in a way.

Only now, I wonder what I look like.

The heck, not only that. I wonder who I am.

…-EnD-…