Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. Otherwise, lots of crack-filled stuff would happen.
Night dressed the sky, dappling mosaic freckles onto the heavens. The placid rain strummed the windows and the walls
In his dimly lit room Urahara looked over his shoulder, eyeing her briefly. Playfully. "My gigai seems to fit you nicely," he teased, his trademark fan concealing most of his face.
"Urahara!" Rukia snapped, head peeking out the bathroom, both embarrassed and infuriated. Her hand tensely gripped the towel wrapped around her body, both out of fear it would fall off and out of the need to punch Urahara in the face.
Urahara overheard rhythmic taps from the showerhead. Steam billowed out the open slip of the door. Rukia's strands of shriveled hair bled water onto the floor. He concluded Ichigo may have been too embarrassed to teach her the etiquettes of showering. He also concluded it was ample time to tease her.
"Too bad you forgot to bring an extra set of cloothes. Now, it's gonna cost you"
"I'll pay you later. Now hurry up. It's getting cold" Such clunky human contraptions, she thought. Requiring one to manually configure its desired temperature through such ugly knobs.
"Hai, hai." He got up and left for the storage room, coming back a few minutes later. He looked away as he approached her, tossing a dress at her.
Rukia would normally use the communal shower, but it had to be fixed for plumbing, in a sense. The other day Ururu found a dead goldfish on the floor and decided to give it a proper burial ceremony. Immedately after she flushed the toilet, a distressed Jinta asked her where his new pet went. In a panicked fury, he trashed the bathroom with his bat in an attempt to stop the water flow.
Rukia emerged from the door a few minutes later, padding her hair with the towel. The weak lighting blurred the meek shadows with the warm orange that clothed them. As well as a sort of forced intimacy. An odd, cruel joke in light of this situation, Rukia thought. Urahara still had his back turned towards her.
"Sorry I couldn't get you a braaa" his arm rose in the air with a whimsical wave of his fan. Rukia only crossed her arms across her chest and scowled. She couldn't help but notice how snug the dress felt. It was also short, even for someone as small as her. "Isn't it pretty late for you to shower here?" Urahara queried seriously, slowly turned his eyes towards her.
"Tch. There was a temporary black-out at Ichigo's neighborhood. I should've been able to leave easily, but his sisters rushed into his room soon after. His father tried to drop-kick him in the dark. His family became very attentive for robbers and what they called 'scary noises.' If I had attempted to leave then, the idiot male parental unit may have attacked me and discovered my living quarters."
"Hm. I see."
"And also, there was a math test to study for tomorrow."
"You take your job too seriously," Urahara smiled.
Rukia replied with a light shrug. "Now, I must be going."
"You can get sick, you know. A gigai imitates the human body." Urahara was facing her now. He was lying on his side, head resting on his hand, elbow bent on the floor for support.
"No matter." Rukia proceeded to leave his room.
"Try this."
"Ura - wha BASTARD, ARE YOU TRYING TO SHOOT ME?"
"It's a hair dryer."
"What?"
"Come here." Urahara said, motion her forward. He sat up, sitting cross-legged.
Rukia nervously approached Urahara, then finally sat down opposite him. A roar leapt from the hair dryer. Rukia startled and attempted to punch Urahara for lying to her.
"Relax. It's just hot air. See?" He led the hair-dryer towards her face. Rukia had to admit to herself that it felt refreshingly good, considering the coldness her hair was giving her. Urahara took out a comb and lightly traced it into the front strands of her hair. "First, you do this. And this." He targeted the hairdryer to those strands. "And then you repeat."
"Ah, I see." Rukia responded.
Rukia expected him to give her the hair dryer.
Urahara couldn't hear her over the noise.
He shifted the way he was sitting so that he kneeled. He started briefly combing and drying at the sides, and then the back. With his arm lifted around her head, he couldn't reach parts of the back, so he leaned forward. Alarmingly close.
Rukia could see the direction of his eyes focused over her head, see the small stubbles on his chin. She could hear him breathing, she could smell his breath.
She managed to swallow the lump in her throat, and frowned. "Ura-!"
The huff of the hairdryer immediately stopped. He looked down at her, smiling, almost surprised at himself for having gone on like that. "Sorry, Kuchiki-san. I guess I just got carried away."
"I...It's okay."
They stared awkwardly. Aside from the strumming of the rain, Rukia felt an uncomfortable silence. She gulped again.
Then Urahara kissed her on the forehead.
Then the tip of the hairdryer bounced off his chin.
"I...IDIOT! WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR!" Rukia was flushed and infuriated.
"I just wanted to break the silence," he playfully smirked and shrugged, rubbing his hurting chin.
"I didn't want to be the only one embarra -- Kuchiki-san are you trying to shank me with a comb? Owah-!"
After the teeth of the comb proved to be to blunt to slit his throat, Rukia grabbed the towel, thrusting it against his mouth and nose, pushing him against the floor.
He would die too peacefully, she thought, unsatisfied with the possible end result.
Then she noticed the hairdryer right across the room.
Urahara noticed too.
She made a dash for it, but he grabbed her ankle and made her trip. She tried to trip him, but her grip missed his ankle. So, Rukia bolted and tackled him to the floor. Both of them were inches away from the hairdryer.
Then Urahara quickly turned on his back, grabbed her shoulders, and rolled the both of them out of the hairdryer's reach. Rukia ended up on her back, Urahara restraining her outstretched arms. Both of them slightly huffing.
"You're quite feisty when you're angry."
"And you're quite stupid when embarrassed."
And they both smirked.
And then another awkward silence in a more awkward position.
The droning static of the rain grew bewildered and calm.
The dull light dizzied the soft shadows and the orange hues.
She began to relax and compose herself.
He released his grip on her, hands now above her shoulders.
Then he slowly lowered himself, arresting Rukia's mouth with his.
The kiss was soft, but firm.
Feeling foolish, Urahara attempted to pull away to brace for a punch.
Instead, Rukia suckled his lips back inside.
Her hands played on the large slit of bare flesh his clothing had admitted, moving upward to press against the back of his neck. He slowly let his body lie on top of hers. Their kisses were tentative at first, but they were insistent. At times she would playfully tug on his bottom lip with her mouth. Small noises groaned from the back of her throat. Their kisses grew stronger, driving their lips into an aimless lust.
Rukia turned their bodies this time. Urahara's hands roamed the bottom part of her back.
And then the kissing stopped.
"Ohwahh...?" Urahara pretend-whined.
"URAHARA! THIS IS URURU'S DRESS!" Rukia shrieked. She looked awkward, frowning and blushing with her arms crossed while straddling him. "I don't have to pay for it if isn't custom-made."
"O...Oh."
Rukia now stood next to Urahara, who couldn't help but feel a little cheated.
"Well, then...you can just borrow it and return it tomorrow." He looked outside the window. "Oh look, the rain's stopped."
"Good." She stood up and made her way out his room.
"Would you like someone to walk you home?"
"No thanks. I'll be fine."
"Suit yourself. And speaking of which, bring your own clothes next time!" He capriciously waved his fan in the air, boding her farewell.
Rukia scoffed, and made her way out. She smoothed out some of the wrinkles on her dress, and hoped the night breeze smeared some of the stubborn glow from her face. Ichigo has enough trouble trusting Urahara as is. If he saw Rukia looking the way that she did, wearing a dress that was neither Yuzu's or hers, he would toss her in the river and force her to bathe there, or something equally as ridiculous. Add the fact that Rukia wasn't wearing any underw -
OH GADDAMMIT
Rukia stopped, angry at herself for forgetting to retrieve her used clothes. Urahara is indeed a man who knows no shame. Crap. Shit. Excess excrement. She was surprised to already find herself in front of Ichigo's house.
Ichigo had noticed her in his bedroom window. He motioned through elaborated gestures that his sisters were asleep, and that he just knocked out his Dad with his fist. He turned around to listen for any noises, and after a few seconds of reassuring silence, gave her the "OK" gesture. Rukia nodded.
It was too late and too far to go back. And not to forget that damn math test.
A/N: Rukia really does take showers in Urahara's bathroom, info from the Radio Kon interviews from "Too Schexay!" There should be communal shower for the whole Urahara Shouten crew, seeing that they all live in the same building also. Urahara gets his own bathroom in this fic because he's that awesome. :D
Also, I really don't know if a gigai really imitates the body to the point of illness, but what the hey.