Written For Hawkeyesmartini

Written By Radarhunnihawk

Title: What could have been.

Rating.oh I d say about pg 13.

Disclaimer………Not making any dosh from this, not mine.

Feedback/ Comments, YES PLEASE.

"After all, that's what their whole "relationship" if you could call it that, was -- saying things that weren't true."

The words in Hawkeye's father's latest letter from home impacted Hawkeye more than they should have. His father was referring to Hawkeye's next door neighbours back in Crabapple Cove. However the same could be said about a former relationship in camp. A relationship that had definitely interested Hawkeye a lot more than the Hallets back home. Mainly because Hawkeye was involved in the relationship, if it could be described as that. After all Hawkeye was not the relationship type, and he was closing ranks, as it were, with a married man. That just so happened to be his Commanding Officer.

Hawkeye sighed as he took another sip of homemade rat poison. Saying things that weren't true, he reflected, was a common problem when it came to relationships. Things such as 'I love you'. The Hallets used that phrase a lot, before they decided to call it a day. Henry had mumbled it too, in the throws of ahem carnal pleasures. Hawkeye knew it was not true, but for one moment he had almost believed it. Now, he mournfully reflected, he would never know. Because his CO, his friend, his lover, was gone, having survived his assigning at the 4077th without too many mishaps. He should have been safe, he should have been home free getting to know his baby boy and snuggling up to Lorraine with the perfect curves. And now Hawkeye realised with drunken, truthful, clarity, that maybe, just maybe ,he could have loved Henry Blake in the real sense of the word. But his own relationship that was full of half-truths and broken promises, just like the Hallets, was over. And now as Hawkeye downed his third glass of gin in as many minutes he finally let the alcoholic tears slide.