There and Back Again…

By Shelly and M.N. Talbert

Chapter One

It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out you're door –you step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to.

The Lord of the Rings, The Fellowship of the Ring

Sheppard was pissed. And not just pissed, but 'get out of my way before I slug' something pissed. There was a fine line of distinction between the two, and if that something just happened to be Rodney McKay, then all the better. He couldn't believe that he was going to be stuck with McKay for four days, on some stupid alien planet, just so they could observe…what had McKay called it? Aurora Borealis…some fancy name for lights in the sky.

Back on Earth, they were called the Northern Lights. Electromagnetic storms in the atmosphere, caused by solar flares…scientists were still studying them, trying to figure out what made them tick. He was simplifying what they were; he knew that, just as he knew McKay would have a fit if he heard his thoughts. He'd gone on about something to do with solar flares, sunspots, super-excited atoms, and plasma. Sheppard wasn't dumb by any stretch, but the lecture had been about as dry as his ninth grade chemistry class, and he'd had just about the same amount of interest.

The point being, this planet seemed to smack current theory in the face with a 'meet me at dawn with dueling swords ready' slap because there wasn't any noticeable solar flares, or sunspots in the vicinity, and yet the sky was riddled with the light shows. As Ford had called it, a laser light display on steroids. And then Ford and Teyla had gone to the mainland and caught some kind of Jungle Rot. As bad as that sounded, it was even prettier in person…colorful, even. Greens, reds, and blues…he hadn't known toes could do that. Carson had assured everyone they'd make a complete recovery, thanks largely in part to the herbal cure from Teyla's people. Seems Jungle Rot was common in these parts.

But, that left him and McKay heading out on the mission down two people. Everyone was tasked to the limit, but Weir had pulled off Sergeant Hicks from one of the other teams. Three and three- seemed fair. Of course, Hicks' mission had been to make nice with the natives of PX9-999, and most of those natives were women of spectacular…well, let's just leave it at spectacular, thought Sheppard. He wouldn't be Hicks' favorite person any time in the near future.

Which brought him back to the reason why he was pissed. He couldn't believe that McKay thought that the first time some alien chick that looks good in a dress came along, he'd forget everything he'd ever learned as a military man. He believed in the old adage of you catch more flies with honey, and keep your enemies closer. Sure, he'd been intrigued by Chaya, but at no point had he been wrapped around her little pinky, as McKay had apparently thought.

When she'd confessed why she'd come back to Atlantis, it'd been as much of a shock to him, as anyone else, and then to be put in that kind of confrontation, and everyone else around, including McKay. He could hear the mental crowing across the table. He'd hardly spoken three words to him since he'd returned. And now, he had to spend four days, in a confined space, while McKay ran his tests. Wonderful. He slammed the extra supplies into the cargo net. Sheppard wanted to get this trip over with.

"Major? Where do you want this equipment?"

Sheppard looked up and saw Sergeant Hicks standing at the base of the ramp, and next to him were four huge silver cases. "What the hell are those?" he snapped. He didn't have room for that kind of cargo.

"Those are mine," said McKay, appearing in view from the side of the vehicle. McKay was outfitted in his vest, and had a rucksack with his change of clothes and other supplies he'd need while they were gone.

"And where do you think they're going to go?" asked Sheppard. "On the luggage rack?"

McKay peered around Hicks and into the rear of the Jumper. "I'm sure there's room in there somewhere."

Sheppard looked around. "No, there isn't."

"Then make room," bossed McKay, shoving his way past Sheppard, and heading towards the front of the ship.

Sheppard stared after him. Even for McKay that was pretty snippy. Guess the anger wasn't only a one way kind of deal. Hicks was in for more of a treat than even Sheppard had realized. When he and McKay were on good terms it could be dangerous, but both of them mad at the other…this could get ugly.

He looked back at Hicks, who was waiting for instructions on what to do. He picked up a box of supplies, and tossed it out the rear, narrowly missing Hicks in the process. "If he wants those so damn much, guess he'll just have to do without a sleeping bag," Sheppard tossed another bag of stuff, "And a pillow…" he kept up the monologue while he chucked everything he could without jeopardizing the mission. Finally, a hole was large enough for the four silver suitcases. "Move 'em in," he told Hicks.

He stashed his own bag against the bulkhead, and slid into the pilots seat, studiously ignoring McKay who was sitting in the copilots spot. Sheppard was sure of one thing, McKay wasn't going to get to fly this time out. Petty, maybe…but it still felt satisfying.

He took the Jumper through the preflight start-ups, hollered back to make sure Hicks was finished and had shut the hatch. Hicks hollered that it was done, and after shoving something around that made a loud clatter, he joined the two taking the seat behind Sheppard.

"Ready to go, Major," he said.

Sheppard communicated to flight that they were ready for a go, and within minutes, the Jumper was dropping through the bay doors. They hovered for a moment, and Weir wished them good luck. She always wished them good luck. He was beginning to think maybe if she didn't, they'd actually have good luck. He glanced at McKay, and found Rodney was staring straight ahead. Guess he wasn't the only one aiming for the silent treatment.

Sighing again at the thought of just how much fun this trip was going to be, he nudged the Jumper into the puddle, and seamlessly guided her back out the other end. They hadn't gone far when Sheppard realized something was wrong. The lights in the Jumper dimmed, and surged, and then dimmed again.

"McKay? What's going on?" asked Sheppard, fighting to keep the nose of the vehicle upright. They were just passing over a particularly wicked looking mountain, and he could make out the craggy peaks. He'd hate to crash down there.

McKay had begun fumbling with the controls, and finally jumped up, running to the access panel he'd reverted to before when things were bad. It bothered Sheppard that things appeared to be that bad.

"McKay?" he repeated, as the power whined, and began to drop.

"Working on it," gritted McKay.

"Major?" Hicks asked worriedly.

"You'll know something when we do, Sergeant," said Sheppard tersely, as the Jumper began losing altitude, fast. "McKay, if you've got a rabbit up that hat of yours, now would be a good time!"

"I think the rabbit abandoned ship," muttered McKay.

Then the Jumper went dark. All power was cut and the ground was coming up fast.

"Hang on!" shouted Sheppard. The hit was magnificent. He heard metal scream, and then maybe the screaming was himself and the other two people in the ship.

He'd tried to pull the nose up as best he could, but they were still flying forward, and down the mountain with unbelievable speed. He wondered how bad of a stop it was going to be, when fate answered. The front of the Jumper must have hit a rock; a very large rock, because it flipped, and continued to flip…he lost count and consciousness after the third rotation…