Chain Letter Chapter 23: Bonus Chapter: Blooper Reel, a yu yu hakusho fanfic

Disclaimer -- We don't own it, and we wish we did.

Chain Letter

Bonus Chapter!

Chapter 23: Blooper Reel!

Kitsune and Jeremy sit behind a desk, staring into the camera. They wave.

"Hey, I'm Kitsune Takaya," Kitsune says.

"And I'm Jeremy Ceres." Jeremy says.

"Today's special, bonus chapter, and our last chapter of the fic, just so hapens to be our blooper reel!" Kitsune announces.

Jeremy explains, "On the set of Chain Letter, sometimes, things don't go quite as planned. People say the wrong thing, do stupid stuff--"

"coughcoughKUWABARAcoughcough"

Jeremy chuckles at Kitsune, and continues, "and sometimes props and skits go haywire. This is Chain Letter Behind the Scenes!"

"What Goes On When No One Is Looking," Kitsune states.

"Take a look," Jeremy says.

Story: Chain Letter

Episode: 1, The Legend

Scene: Kurama's New Car

Take 1

"Shuichi!" Shiori calls from the house. Kurama looks at her. "Yes Mother?"

"Did you finish up on your new car? It looks nice!" his mother compliments. Kurama smiles. "Thank you. It's my baby." he says, patting the hood.

She goes back inside the house and begins cooking. Kurama sits out on his knees, inspecting the car. There is a black blur, a displacement of air and an unexpected splatter of mud.

The mud splats onto Kurama's shiny new car. His face droops in shock and grief. "No, I just finished washing it!" He growls and looks at the snickering Hiei. He takes out his rosewhip and chases the fire demon around the set.

From offstage, the director yells, "Somebody break those two up and let's continue with the scene!"

Story: Chain Letter

Episode: 1, The Legend

Scene: JoyRide Suggestion

Take 1

Hiei looks at the car. "What is this thing? Some new torture device Yomi had you build?"

Kurama chuckles. "Nope. My new car. A ningen mode of transportation. I just bought it."

Hiei is silent.

"Hiei?"

"What?"

"You're supposed to grin and tell me to test it out."

"I am?"

"Yes, didn't you read the script?"

Chester from the Fairly Oddparents shouts from offset, "READING'S FER YELLOWBELLIES!"

Kitsune goes and knocks him out, and drags him away to a portal to the Fairly Oddparents set.

"No," Hiei continues, "I didn't read the script, dammit!"

Kyle, the director, and co-member of RCS, Inc, rubs his hand over his face and says, "Cut. Hiei, read the script."

Hiei says, "Hn,"

Episode: 1, The Legend

Scene: JoyRide Suggestion

Take 2

Hiei looks at the car. "What is this thing? Some new torture device Yomi had you build?"

Kurama chuckles. "Nope. My new car. A ningen mode of transportation. I just bought it."

Hiei is silent again.

"Hiei, you have to grin!" Kyle the Director calls from his director's seat.

Hiei pouts and crosses his arms. "I don't wanna."

"HIEI!" Kyle shouts.

"FINE! Give me another take!"

"CUT!"

Episode: 1, The Legend

Scene: JoyRide Suggestion

Take 3

Hiei looks at the car. "What is this thing? Some new torture device Yomi had you build?"

Kurama chuckles. "Nope. My new car. A ningen mode of transportation. I just bought it."

Kyle is muttering through his teeth, "Smile, Hiei, smile..."

Hiei grins, baring his fangs, but does it scarily, as if he never smiled in his life. His eyes are mean and his smile is awkward. A couple stagehands faint or scream or run away, or a combination of the three. Hiei stops grinning. "What?"

Kurama is passed out on the ground before him.

Kyle the director has to be taken away to the mental house because Hiei's 'smile' fried his brain and turned it into scrambled eggs.

Kitsune smiles, "You see?"

Jeremy says, "Wait, there's more!"

Episode: 2, A Hot New Ride Goes Horribly Wrong

Scene: Possessed Hiei

Take 1

They come to a red light. Kurama gently puts his foot on the break…until Hiei slams his foot down on Kurama's, a dangerous glint in his eyes.

They run the light, which leads to a dead end…which ends in a cliff. "You're going to pay, Kurama!" Hiei hisses. "You're going to die, along with all of your little friends!" Hiei's voice takes on that of a little girl's. "Then we can all play together with my other victims!"

The car veers off the road and over the side of the cliff. Kurama screams and Hiei laughs maniacally as the car somersaulted into the inky black darkness.

A crash is heard, followed by a loud cry of pain. Kurama's stunt double limps off the set a couple minutes later. People follow, carrying the Hiei robot on a stretcher, wires and bolts sticking out of it's side. It's voice is mixed between the little girl and Hiei, and it stuck on saying, "You'll pay... You'll pay... You'll pay..." over and over.

Kurama and Hiei sigh from their own respecive chairs. "Glad that wasn't us," Kurama says to Hiei.

Kyle sighes. "Cut..."

Episode: 3, Meanings, Riddles, and a Strange E-Mail

Scene: Kurama rushes into office

Take 1

Koenma is seen taking a nap on his desk, snoring.

The scene cuts to the office door, which slams open. Kurama rushes in followed by a sheepish Botan.

Cuts to sidelong view of the desk and the space in front of it. There is an expensive rug on the floor, which Kurama runs on and accidentally slides under Koenma's desk with a wild yell. Koenma still sleeps.

Kyle mutters, "My Gods... Someone get Kurama to the medic so we can do the take again!"

Episode: 3, Meanings, Riddles, and a Strange E-Mail

Scene: Kurama rushes into office

Take 2

Koenma is sleeping on his desk.

Cut to office door. Nothing happens.

Koenma puts his head up to reveal he is actually awake (naturally, he was acting -wink wink-). He calls, meekly, "Kurama? Botan?"

Still nothing happens. Koenma jumps off his desk and trudges up to the door, swinging it open to see...

"WHAT IN THE REIKAI? Kurama, Botan! That is enough of that! Get back to the scene!" he shouts at the two playing poker on the other side of the door. (what did you think they were doing? Sickos...)

Episode: 3, Meanings, Riddles, and a Strange E-Mail

Scene: Behind the Scenes

Yusuke sits in his actor's chair with the word YUSUKE on the back, reading over his script. Kuwabara sits next to him in his chair with KUWABARA on the back. He is looking on his own script.

"I don't even appear in this scene," Kuwabara says to his fellow actor.

Yusuke grumbles in anger. "I don't either, but look at the stupid thing they want me to write to Kurama!" Kuwabara leans over and inspects the script, which has all names on the side called YUSUKE underlined in orange Sharpy Marker. Yusuke recites, "'There are 8 fish in the sea, how many drown?' I'm not that stupid!"

"Then what's the answer?" Kuwabara says.

"None, fish can't drown, stupid!"

"Don't call me stupid, Urameshi! I still have your magazines and I ain't givin' 'em up until I beat you in a fight!" Kuwabara smirks and pulls out a couple issues of PlayBoy magazine. On the cover in big, bold letters, in black marker, is the word HIEI.

"Kuwabara, those aren't mine," Yusuke points out, holding back chuckles.

"Of course they are Urameshi! It says it right here, H. I. E. I... Hey, Yusuke, I thought your name had six letters..."

Yusuke cannot hold it back anymore and starts rolling on the floor, laughing his ass off. Kuwabara is clueless (as usual).

"What?" he asks, looking at the magazine in his hand. Immediately after, Hiei storms over to them, looking very pissed, and swipes the magazines out of Kuwabara's hand, then storms back to where he came from. (which is the opposite direction of where he was originally going... Nevermind...)

Yusuke is still laughing.

Jeremy chuckles, "Kuwabara was such a nincompoop..."

Kitsune recites, "Ode to Kuwabara, You're brain's smaller than a pea,"

Jeremy chuckles.

"And your attention span is less than a goldfish's," she continues.

Jeremy laughs.

Episode: 4, The Fearsome Foursome

Scene: Yusike's answering machine

Take 1

Yusuke turns away from the computer to see what's going on with his answering machine.

Soft beep is heard.

This is followed by a recorded message, "Urameshi residence, please hold."

"That's not the message..." Yusuke mutters.

The next few takes are of the different message outtakes.

Take 2

"Your eyes were covered in sunglasses when they first met mine..."

"KITSUNE! KAONASHI!" Kyle screams at the two, who have joined Kurama and Botan, playing blackjack.

The hanyou and the spirit look up in fear, look at each other, sheepishly, then look at the ferrygirl and fox demon. They turn back to where they'd heard the director's voice and scream, simultaneously, "IT WASN'T US!"

Take 23

"What would you doooooo for a Klondike bar?"

Kyle slaps his hand to his face. "Let's try it again, people."

Take 74

Sahara's voice comes through, roboticly, "Hello. You have reached moviephone. If you have selected the movie you want to watch, please, stay on the line."

Somewhere offset, Sahara whistles innocently, then is heard screaming, running away, flailing her arms.

Kitsune shakes her head. "And I thought I was random..."

Episode: 4, The Fearsome Foursome

Scene: The Evil Video Tape

Take 1

The gang crowds around to see the screen. It shows the four corners and runs smoothly, showing the girl apearing, going offscreen, appearing in another screen, going offscreen again, and so on and so forth. Chelsey McCann finally 'kills' her father, and turns to the video camera. All goes black.

Finally, there is a fine point of color in the center of the screen, growing larger until a sunny, happy meadow is revealed. Everybody else in confused. "Huh?"

A little elf (seemingly made out of clay) skips on, singing and dancing. It goes through the meadow, dancing along with the little forest animals, until the lights go off in there, casting everything in a dim gray. The music stops and so does everything else. The 'Littlest Elf' freezes, his/her/it's eyes looking around (still with that gay smile on it's face.)

The TV screen suddenly goes blank again, shutting off.

Hiei is standing by the wall, holding the plug, which we find is out of the outlet. Yusuke and Kuwabara bow at his feet, saying, "Hail Hiei, Destroyer of The Littlest Elf!"

Koenma and Kurama walk offscreen, laughing and shaking their heads.

Episode: 4, The Fearsome Foursome

Scene: Introductions

Take 1

Shot of Kitsune, turning to almost a 3/4 look as if looking to Yusuke. "I'm Kitsu--deblehblah..." Kitsune fumbles over the word and ends up making 'bleh' noises with her tongue. The others laugh lightly.

"Can't even pronounce your own name," Kaonashi says.

Kitsune then laughs. "Said it so many times, I'm LOSING MY MIND!"

Take 2

Kaonashi steps forward. "I'm... hungry..." He smiles and shrinks back to where he was supposed to be.

Kitsune laughs, "I'm Kitsune. Nice to meet ya, Hungry!"

Take 3

"I'm Sahara, I'm 1/2 dark angel and 1/2 vampire. I'm 316 years ol--" Sahara stops short as Kaonashi gives a small burp, then chuckles, closing her eyes. Out of nowhere, Sora belches. Sahara and Kitsune laugh.

"'S'cuse me..."

Take 4

"I'm Sahara, I'm 1/2 dark angel and 1/2 vampire. I'm 316 years old and I..." Sahara starts, but cannot finish. She sniffs the air and turns around, disgusted. "Who farted!"

Kitsune sniffs and covers her nose. "That's disgusting!"

Kaonashi faints. Sora goes to puke. Yusuke and Kurama scoot away from Kuwabara, who is whistling, and Hiei is already wearing a gas mask (which looks oddly familiar to something that Noodle wore, from Gorillaz. Gorillaz fans, you know the pic.)

Episode: 4, The Fearsome Foursome

Scene: To England

Take 1

"So, where are we going?" Kuwabara asks.

"To England. That's where McCann lived," Sora replies. They step through the portal and come to a beach. They look around, puzzled.

"This doesn't look like England to me," Yusuke says.

"Damn portals never work anymore."

Kitsune sits, clapping her hands, "More, more!"

"There are other instances in the show, such as unwanted randomness, more burping, screwed up lines, wacky faces, and such. Check it out." Jeremy says, and presses a button on a remote control.

Kitsune walks through the tunnels with Sahara and Sora lagging behind (chapter 8). The scene cuts to what the two are doing (from behind them).

Sahara burps. Sora burps. They laugh, and continue on as such. Kitsune stops, turns around to show she is actually laughing, and says, "What the Hell are you two doing?" Sora and Sahara burp simultaneously, and laugh.

Kaonashi sits on top of the well, writing lyrics to a song (behind the scenes), he suddenly belches. Then he continues on writing.

Shot of Yusuke watching the Goddesses and Nasuada fight. He yawns, causing Kuwabara to yawn, causing Hiei and Kurama to yawn.

Behind the Scenes shot.

Yusuke, Kuwabara, Kurama, and Hiei are in a hallway. Kurama is leaning back on the wall, Hiei is standing in the middle of a hallway, Yusuke stands next to two blue doors, and Kuwabara stands on the other side of the hallway, opposite Yusuke.

Kitsune's voice is heard from off screen. "What are you guys standing in a circle beatboxing."

Yusuke starts beatboxing, and when he finishes, Kuwabara says, "What the Hell was that? Farting?

"Sh, you can't hang with that?" Yusuke says, and looks at Kuwabara, who starts a fast paced beatbox. He finishes with what sounds like a little spit. He laughes, looking at his hand. "I spit on my hand."

Everyone else laughs.

"That ain't enough, Kuwa, you ain't got no 'Oomph' to it," Yusuke replies. Kuwabara does another fast beatbox, with Yusuke adding a little part. Everyone laughs again.

"Yours sound like some kind of squeaker fart!" Kitsune exclaims.

Behind the Scenes shot of Kitsune and Sora playing ping-pong on rollerskates. Sora snaps the ball, which flies behind Kitsune, bouncing along the ground. The camera follows her as she goes to retrieve it, but it is hard with rollerskates, and she keeps missing the ball. Sora is laughing at her failed attempts in the background. (PS, Kids, don't try this at home, it's painful.)

Kurama is heard offscreen, "This doesn't look like a good idea, guys."

Kaonashi adds, "Yeah, I can see someone getting hurt in this." Kitsune has finally gotten the ball and is skating back to the ping-pong table.

"This is what we do in our spare time on the set!" Kitsune exclaims, pressing the controller.

The entire gang sits in a room. Kitsune does a cartwheel. Yusuke goes and does a cartwheel, then Kitsune does another and lands on her ass. She crawls over and sits by Sahara.

Sahara speaks to the camera, holding a bottle of water, "When you have a bad day, y'know what's a good remedy?" She promptly throws the bottle at a wall, hard. Sora screams in the background.

Shot of Kaonashi doing push-ups. Kitsune comes and sits on his back. He falls on his stomach with a 'bleh'. Kitsune grins.

Sahara and Sora run over, screaming, "DOG PILE!" Then jump on the two.

Shot of Yusuke, Hiei, Kuwabara, and Kurama sitting on two couches using Apple laptops. Heavy metal music plays softly from Yusuke's laptop and he is acting like he is playing guitar.

Someone chuckles. We find out it is Kaonashi, and he says, "Apple. Used by the Reikai Tantei."

Kurama laughes.

Shot of Kitsune on a couch in a black tanktop and pants, listening to an Ipod. Kuwabara is fanning her from behind the couch with a towel. Kitsune looks beat, with her tongue hanging out on the side of her mouth.

Shot of Sora and Sahara, playing Tony Hawk on PS2.

Sahara and Kitsune are on a dock by a lake, dragging Sora by the arms. They count down from 3 and swing her and throw her into the water, with a wild yell from Sora. She splashes in, resurfaces, and grins at the camera.

Yusuke and Kuwabara rush in and do cannonballs in the water.

Chelsey McCann sits reading a book (her skin isn't really blue, but a light tan.) in a lounge chair. She spots the camera and hides her face in the book, saying, "Go away... Please?"

Yusuke and Kuwabara come over and dump cold water on her. She screams in surprise, and gets up and chases them. They run away laughing.

Jeremy sighes. "Sorry, that's all, but we hope you enjoyed it all."

"We realize we're not good at making bloopers," Kitsune says, sadly. "But, if you review, it'll give us another reason to continue on to Chain Letter: Revolution! Thanks to all who supposed us through this, including: Kato Shingetsu, KaboomingKitsune, bookworm0492, FoxSoul, WingedWolf, Pyree, Psycho Anime Luver, Black Shadowed Rose Yami Fan, BlackRoseVixen05, KaraKurama, yomiko, and, anyone else I forgot to mention, we thank you all as well. The reason we might not have included you in the list was either because you reviewed after this chapter was posted, or we forgot to include you. Sh-- happens, man." Kitsune says, shrugging.

Both wabe, saying, "Peace out!"

Kitsune screams, "CHICKENS!"