Loss
Author:
Neth
Rating: PG
Summery:
Everything had been taken from him, and all that was left was an
enormous feeling of loss.
Spoilers:
Episode III
Disclaimer:
I don't own Star Wars or any of its characters, don't claim to.
Loss.
In that moment, walking away from Anakin, what had been Anakin, it was all he could feel. An enormous, horrid feeling of loss that threatened to consume him. He had no idea how to handle it, how to turn away from it and let it spread harmlessly into the Force.
Maybe he didn't want to know.
Because the pain let him know that he was still here. Still alive. That he had to protect Padmé and her unborn child, Anakin's child. Such a precious thing, life, and he could understand why the young man had wanted to protect it. He just couldn't understand why he went to the dark to do it.
The dark, a place only good for hiding and destroying.
Maybe that's what Anakin had wanted, to hide from the death of his wife.
It did not matter now, would never matter again. Because he was the last, him and Yoda. He would have to live out his life hopeless, alone. No brothers or sisters, no mentors or children.
In a state of loss.
Qui-Gon had been the first to leave him, unwilling though it had been. He'd been so young then, it seemed, still a Padawan. He'd felt the loss of his mentor and his friend for years to come, never quite getting over it. Always a place in his mind, a link, that fluttered aimlessly in the Force looking for its anchor. The bright memories of growing up with Qui-Gon, of laughter and joy, of completeness, were always accompanied by that searching link.
And now he had another link broken, this time deliberately. His friend, his brother, gone now to the darkness, dead to the light and hateful. He could not allow that link to remain, could not allow that person who had been Anakin, that Sith, to follow him through it.
And so, with two gaping holes in his mind, and the loss of all that he'd loved gnawing at his heart he walked on, walked away, walked towards a new life filled only with loneliness.