Chapter 1

I, Pacey Witter, am starring in a TV show.

Someone beat the crap out of me so I can wake up. Cause this isn't happening.

Of course, I got the sidekick part. I wanted the main part, but let's get real, I never actually expected to get it. And I read the script: the sidekick part is a lot more fun.

I head towards the studio. We're having some sort of a reunion, the actors and the crew, we're going to know each other.

Oh, God, I got the part! I can't believe I got the part!

I get in and everybody's already there. Am I late? I check the watch. No, I'm just on time. Am I the only one who is actually punctual around here?

"Hi." Some blonde guy heads towards me. He looks nice. Actually everyone looks nice and, God, I'm in a TV show!

"Hi, Pacey Witter, I play Petey."

"Dawson Leery, I play Colby."

"That's cool, we're going to be best friends"

He laughs and I can tell he's nervous too.

"Yeah, we are. We might as well get to know each other."

"Yeah… is this your first time? In a show, I mean"

"No, but it's my first time starring. How about you?"

"My first time ever. I don't even know what got into me, to audition, I never really thought I stood a chance"

"Neither did I but one can hope, right?"

I'm just about to answer but I see HER. By God, she is beautiful… Big brown eyes, long brown hair, long legs and a smile worth a million dollars… and that doesn't even begin to describe her… I get a strange feeling just by looking at her… she seems to be floating around the room.

Dawson notices my looks and smiles: "That's Joey. She plays Sam"

"Sam? She plays Sam? I mean… isn't Sam supposed to be some sort of tomboy?"

"Yeah, I suppose…"

"This woman is a goddess, how could anyone believe her to be one of the guys!"

I can't even breathe properly.

Dawson laughs: "She is pretty, but you know teenage boys don't always go for pretty. they usually go for hot."

"And she isn't hot!"

"I suppose she is… but she is hot in a distant kind of way… she's pretty much the out of the reach type…"

That she is. She is so beautiful that I think I'd be afraid to touch her. And yet I feel inexplicably drawn to her.

"You mind…?" I ask Dawson.

"Feel free."

I head towards her. She notices me and stops in her tracks. She looks a bit lost. I give her my warmest smile:

"Hi, I'm Pacey, I play Petey."

"Joey… I play Sam"

"Wow… we're mortal enemies then"

She finally smiles again and I feel warm and fuzzy.

"Looks like it…"

"So… can I fraternize with the enemy for a while?"

"Well, as long as no-one knows about it, I suppose we could try… it's easier to fight when you know the other's weak points."

She wiggles her eyebrowes and I'm so dead. I can't even feel my legs anymore. Is she flirting with me?

"Ah, so you're trying to take advantage of my friendly mood… that isn't very nice of you"

"Maybe I'm not a very nice girl" she's got that smile again.

By God, this beautiful goddess is standing in front of me, flirting with ME! Please don't wake me up. I love this dream.

"Pacey, Joey, you're up next"

Our first scene together, actually my first scene period, and I'm so excited that I'm pretty sure I'll mess up my lines. Which reminds me… what are my lines? I can't remember my lines!

I stay confused, in the center of the set and I can't remember my lines. Nigel, the producer, comes close to me and says in a parental way:

"Can you remember your lines?"

"Uhm… sort of…"

"Sort of… meaning you don't"

"Well, I remember the theme of the scene but the exact words, no, not so much"

I'm going to get fired. And I didn't even get to shoot a scene.

"Okay, you're going to go there, get in the water with Joey, when I say action you both try to get out, you grab Joey's ass, she's going to react and you go from there"

I'm going to grab her ass… I am going to touch her… Okay, I gotta take breathing lessons otherwise this show thing is not going to last very long…

I get into the water. Brr… say action already, I'll freeze to death here…

"One… two… three… Action!"

Grab her ass. That shouldn't be so hard. I mean who wouldn't want to do that with her?

So I just go for it. She throws me a surprised look – actually half surprised, half amused:

"You did it again, you grabbed my ass"

"Like you even have one"

Stop right there! Where did that come from? She does have an ass. A really cute one, actually.

Cold shower, cold shower… actually no need, cold water all around me… not that it works or anything… Joey gets out, I'm right behind her… wouldn't trade that place with anyone right now.

Dawson is saying something. Is he in this scene too? Oh wait, yeah. He's best friends with both Petey and Sam while Petey and Sam hate each other. That's good, I am remembering the script.

Joey heads for Dawson. That's right, Sam has a crush on Colby and he doesn't know it. The ass! How can you turn down a girl like that?

"…and cut! That's perfect! Let's just do it again for the record"

And for the record, I think it's going to be a very long day and I think I gotta head for the showers as soon as possible.

I am alive and kicking after a day of grabbing Joey's ass. I have to write that down somewhere.

She's so sweet and so funny and so beautiful that I think seriously of kidnapping her, taking her to a deserted island and having my way with her…I mean, hell, who wouldn't, right? Right?

Maybe I should ask her out.

But would she go out with me?

A girl like her with a guy like me… lemme think… errr… nope. Not much chance of that.

So I have to choose between making myself an ass and suffering in silence.

Right.

Suffering in silence it is.

I head for the door and I hear steps behind me. I know it's her. How do I know? I don't know. Maybe it's because Dawson does not walk as gracefully. Maybe because Jen, the fourth star in the constellation, couldn't possibly walk as fast. Jen's the slow and feminine type. Joey's the 'I don't care if I'm feminine and that's exactly why I am' type.

I need a life.

"Pacey!"

Is that my name?

"Pacey!"

That must be it. That must be my name. I turn around. Boy she's beautiful! I gotta find something else to check out. Shoelaces seem tempting right now.

"Where you off in such a hurry?"

'Away from you, straight to a cold shower and a dream world in which you and I are actually a possibility'

"Uhm… I dunno… home probably…"

"Where are you staying?"

"Well, the hotel for now, until I can find a place of my own… money being a bit of a problem right now"

"Wanna grab a bite with me?"

Do I…? Did she just ask me that? The Goddess herself? No way. I'm in desperate need of a wake-up punch just about now.

Ready when you are…

"Uhm, sure… I'm kinda hungry, now that I think about it"

"Good. Do you know any place in this godforsaken town?"

"I might have discovered a small fast-food that seems to be healthier than average…"

Have I mentioned the million dollar smile yet? I'd pay her that just to get to look at her all day. If I could afford it, that is.

"Sounds good. Come on, let's go, I'm starving."

The lady is starving and I am having problems breathing again.