A/N: Ok...this would be my very first Gilmore Girls fanfic. Although it really has been coming for a very long time, as i have been completely obsessed with the show since day one. I am really too tired right now to rant and ramble. Just read...enjoy...be nice if you review. PLEASE review. you will make a lonely girl very very happy. Hope i got the characters right, i think i did lorelai ok but not so sure about luke (dirty...?). tell me! constructive criticism! and tell me if i should continue, i can stop here or make lots more. whatever makes you happy. err...OH YES. Disclaimer.
Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls or any of its wonderful, awesome witty characters. if i did i would own a yacht somewhere and a mansion and i would know lauren graham and i wouldnot be going to high school. i would be retired already. etc.
And so it begins...
"Luke, will you marry me?"
There was only the slightest pause then, just the slightest blimp of time before the words reached Luke's ears and registered themselves in his mind- found a meaning, then significance- then he could react.
"What?"
Lorelai just looked at him. He looked back. Both had expressions they'd seldom seen on each other. On Lorelai, a smile- reassured, middling between a sort of rapture and being matter-of-fact. She was sure. This was what she wanted. The last time Luke had seen that expression, he had wowed her with confidence. I'm all in. Luke just looked shocked, and serious…nervous? Maybe. Their conversation had taken quite a turn.
"Lorelai…"
"Luke." Still, with the smile. It was hard for him to resist the smile.
"You're angry, you're upset, you're tired…you…probably need coffee. I'm gonna get you some coffee." He turned away from her and those eyes. He refused to go down with the power of the eyes.
Lorelai didn't say anything while he went into the kitchen. This was fine. She could wait.
There were a series of crashes from the storeroom.
"DAMN IT, CEASAR!"
"Er…Luke?"
"It's fine…," he growled. "Just remind me never to let Caesar stock the stupid storeroom again."
"I'll get right on it."
He grunted in return. So, after all these months of appropriately long conversations, the Amazing Monosyllabic Man was going to make a comeback?
A minute passed. Two minutes.
"Luke…you're not dead, are you? 'Cause if you are or planning to be in the next few minutes, tell me. Please. I'm wearing new shoes. Don't know why I picked this particular day to wear these shoes…well, actually, I do, they match my outfit perfectly and it's not like I knew what was going to be happening today. On both counts. That is- Rory. And you. Not that there is a thing happening between you and me- or is it I? I hate stupid grammar. It's stupid. I mean, come on, people, what's the freaking point…But, um, they're already tainted with the whole parents-stabbing-me-in-my-back thing and the whole Rory-being-a-complete-idiot thing and frankly I don't want these particular shoes to also be associated with your death also. They are really, really great shoes. I'm sure you haven't noticed them yet but they look really fabulous on me. Woah, ok, Lorelai, you shouldn't have that big of an ego. But…" She paused. She just heard Luke walking around the kitchen. The gurgle of the coffee maker.
"Luke…? I'm sorry for that self-centered rant. I always do this, I just start talking and manage to make everything about me and my shoes or my hair when I just want to make a point about someone else- and by someone else I mean you. Obviously, I mean, you're the one I'm talking to and it's not like anyone else would be here for me this late on a Friday night just listening to me ramble about my problems, like I always do- except Rory, maybe, but things are clearly not looking that great with us now…and my god, I never listen, do I? I always make you listen to me whether you want to hear about my stupid problems or not. And you listen. You always listen. You make sacrifices and you make yourself look like an idiot and you let my parents walk all over you- and stupid me, I just sit in this diner and you pour me the best coffee in the world and what do I do? I mock you, and make you wear clothes you don't want to wear and…I just don't deserve you. I want to deserve you so, so much and I give the appearance, maybe, of deserving you, but I don't. I'm…selfish. And stupid. Have I mentioned that I'm stupid and you're wonderful? I don't think I've said that before. You're wonderful. Right now, you're the most wonderful person in the world to me. It's been…what? Seven years? More? And I've never told you how freaking wonderful you are." At this point she was almost in tears. But she laughed to herself.
"Ok, I promise, this is the last of the uber-rant. Luke? I'm sorry. For…just attacking you with that question. I just had this major realization just then that you, above every one else in this town or in my life- you were there for me. I don't deserve you being there for me. God, this is getting really repetitive. And redundant. And repetitive…" She chuckled nervously. "But I guess it doesn't really matter whether I asked it or not 'cause I clearly do not deserve it. You. The whole package. Yeah, it's what I want, it's what I've always wanted but I don't deserve it. I…I understand if you just want me to leave. I'm just feeling like an idiot right now…kind of tipsy, kind of like I've just performed a bar dance in front of my parents, kind of like I want to throw up. I promise not to do it here, though. Throw up, I mean…Luke?" She stopped breathing as he emerged with a mug in his hand. She was too afraid to look into his eyes.
He walked up to Lorelai and handed her a mug of just-right just-hot-enough coffee. The aroma and steam floated between them like a mirage.
"Lorelai, I have something to tell you," he said, softly and slowly.
"What…" she could barely get the word out. She was literally breathless- overcome with emotion- anger at herself (and the entire universe- Rory, her parents) and overwhelming love for Luke.
"I am in love with you." Those words seemed unnatural coming from Luke.
The tables had turned very, very quickly. She looked scared, helpless. Like the day he broke up with her. He looked sure of himself.
"Lorelai, you're the one I don't deserve. You're strong, you're an amazing mother. I know Rory's being a complete fool right now but it just isn't your fault. You have always been there for me. Through Rachel, Jess, marrying Nicole-" they both winced- "Which I'll admit now was the most stupid thing I've ever done. Other than not taking my chances with you sooner. Who knew a self-help book could change my life so much…" He laughed.
"Self-help book?" she mocked weakly.
"I'll tell you about it some other time. Maybe our first anniversary…"