Frustrated

This is the sequel to "Ignored", I don't know if you can understand it without having read the Prequel, you can try but it would probably be best to read the first part first.

A/N: Yes, I'm trying to write the sequel and I believe I'm quite fast in doing so. I hope if you liked the prequel you are going to like this one, too. I'm trying to make it equal in quality.

Time: Set after The Courtship Of Wyatt's Father, but with some minor alterations to the timeline. The Biance story never happened, because it wouldn't fit the characterization of Chris I had in the first part. They don't know who Chris is, and he didn't almost fade away during the courtship because that was one of the most stupid plotholes ever, either he exits or he doesn't, if he doesn't no one travels back in time, so he is created the way he's supposed to, but then again he is created so he travels back in time preventing his existence again, resulting in a major timeloop. You get the picture. Him fading away is simply crap.

And they slept together without any intervention from his part.

Disclaimer: I have already finished a story, working on two others plus this one, but no, I still don't own Charmed and I probably never will. You have no idea how that admission hurts. Oh well, all of you who have once written a disclaimer probably know the feeling.

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It was cold.

And it was raining.

These were the circumstances Chris choose to spend an evening on the bridge. The steel he was sitting on was cold, too. But he didn't care. He never had. The bridge was the only place where he could really get his mind off things.

Of course, there was the back room in P3 he now occupied, but he hated spending his time there for several reasons. Firstly, it was a nightclub, which meant there was activity up till very late in the evenings. The room was small and stuffy, the couch was uncomfortable and he hated almost all of the musicians whose pictures were on the walls. All these were very good reasons for him to stay away from that place.

Of course "his" bridge was not as lonely in this time as it used to be in his. Leo used the place to think a lot of times now and sometimes he came here when Chris was there to talk to him.

As if talking did any good.

The day Leo had told Chris how "precious" trust was he had had the strong desire to blow him up just to make him shut his god-damn mouth. This talk about trust meant absolutely nothing to Chris and he couldn't care less if Leo still did trust him or if he kissed a fly.

And now Leo had left the family to be a full-time Elder. Whatever.

Chris had a reason for being on the bridge now. A secret he had never meant to spill had been revealed absolutely unintentionally.

They hadn't known he was a half-witch and he had kept that secret for a good reason, because he knew, if they knew, they would have done exactly what they had done now. They threw him out.

How they had found out had been just way to stupid. Piper was going to tell her sisters about what happened between her and Leo and so she tried to freeze Chris. And when it hadn't worked he had been forced to tell them. So the first thing they did was yell at him and his mother told him for the second time in two weeks never to darken her doorstep again.

Great.

He snorted. Why was he even doing this? Why was he so stupid to want to save the world, when it didn't want to be saved?

Innocents

Yeah, they were indeed the only reason Chris was doing all this mess. He had an obsession with saving them, and he knew it didn't do him any good. They were the only reason he had agreed to be resurrected, the only reason why he came to the past and the only reason why he still kept on doing this crazy stuff. Like trying to save the world.

When he had first come to the past he had been determined just to play the whitelighter for a short while and then kill Wyatt's baby self. But he couldn't. After all the baby was innocent.

So he had tried to adapt the feeling he could be saved. He had sensed that the child wasn't evil in his current state, so his job was to preserve that state and everything would be fine.

Sure.

As if it was that simple.

It would be if it weren't for the Charmed Ones. They hated him, didn't want to have him around and didn't want him to save the fucking world.

And there were huge parallels between the Charmed Ones from the past and those from the future. None of them would ever believe Wyatt would turn evil. And they were just as ignorant.

How did it matter if he was a half-whitelighter or a green frog if the fate of the world was at stake? Sure, it didn't matter at all, but it did to them, because it meant he "lied" to them. Now that he thought about it he had never particularly said he was a whitelighter. Everyone had just believed that. How was this his fault?

But they would of course all still be happy with their beliefs if Piper had just chosen a different point in time to tell her sisters about her escapades with Leo. At least now he knew time had found a way to protect itself.

Pity.

He had hoped somewhere in the back of his mind that if they would not conceive him he would simply stop to exist and finally have some peace, but no! Of course these two had to hook up again. Just great.

But he had no idea how he would continue now. They didn't truly believe Wyatt would turn evil and now they doubted his person so he needed to find a way to persuade them to help him in saving him, because otherwise he had no chance ever of succeeding and everything would be screwed in the exact same way it had been before.

But what use was it? He had absolutely no clue how he would find who turned his brother. There was absolutely nothing and absolutely no one. He had spent so much time on research and he was still right where he started.

Maybe this toddler is destined to be evil.

He tried to push the thought aside, but the more time he spent in the past it seemed to be true. There was nothing he could do. But he had to try anyway. For all the innocents who had died in the future. For everyone who had suffered under Wyatt's rule and for everyone who still would. Not for his family.

He always kept that distinction. This was not about the Charmed Ones, no matter how important they believed themselves. It wasn't about him either, he was just a pawn in this chess of destiny. Before he had even departed to the past he had decided he couldn't intervene with his own life. He couldn't tell them about the future or who he was, the only thing that mattered was stopping Wyatt, nothing else. His life would remain exactly the same since his fate had had nothing to do with Wyatt up until where he had been resurrected. After that it had only been about Wyatt. It always was.

He sighed. All these thoughts didn't help. The world was doomed. Wyatt would kill every good and innocent being on the planet and no one was willing to do anything about it.

He felt the painful frustration again he had been feeling when he had been totally powerless to prevent the deaths of innocents when he had been an Angel of Death. But now the reason for his powerlessness were no rules of destiny but rather the stubborness of his own family. Sometimes he believed they only existed to make his life harder, because ever since he could remember they had done nothing but.

He was desperate.

Rather out of instinct than because of a conscious decision he pulled a little device out of his pocket. He looked at it for a second. He had picked up that habit shortly after he had been resurrected. He only did this to remind himself he was alive. That this was not some kind of nightmare but even worse, the harsh reality.

Without even thinking he pulled up his sleeve and put the shiny blade on his forearm. When the blood flowed he felt a little more alive again.

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It was almost two weeks later when he again heard a call of the sisters. He had spent the previous weeks rather uselessly researching demons and, as usual, finding nothing. He had come to the office in P3 only to sleep and stayed there for just a little amount of time. He remembered having a similar habit concerning the Halliwell Manor when he had been fourteen. Not the most glamorous time of his life.

He was actually pretty startled when he heard Paige call his name. He had been sitting on the bridge once again, though he preferred it at nighttime he had nothing else to do than sit there so he just did.

When he heard her call he orbed to the manor immediately.

"Yeah?", he said when he rematerialized in the kitchen. Paige was standing there with crossed arms and Phoebe was jiggling with the coffee machine. As soon as she heard Chris however, she looked up.

"We called you here for a reason", Paige stated in a serious voice. He looked at he incredulously and asked "Which is…", waiting for her to finish the sentence.

"To call a truce", Paige answered. Phoebe just nodded in agreement.

"Truce?", Chris asked. If they meant this seriously it was probably his chance to maybe yet accomplish his mission. He felt a glimmer of hope well up in him but he tried to suppress it. It was always a mistake to get his hopes up, because he always ended up worse than he had started out. It was a generalization, he knew that, but then again, he couldn't remember a single time where his hopes had been confirmed.

"Yes", Phoebe said. She and her sisters had talked about this for a very long time last night and now she was very tired. They had all agreed but she was beginning to doubt the decision. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all. But that was probably just the lack of caffeine speaking. Why did the stupid coffee machine had to stop working the exact morning after she had had a long conversation with her sisters? Murphy's law, probably.

"We talked about it for a long time and we decided it is in none of our interest to have Wyatt turn evil", Paige stated.

"Agreed", Chris said. She had no idea how big a favor she was doing herself with that. If they could save Wyatt she would be spared a lot in the future. But of course he didn't tell her that.

"So we think it would be best if we, you and us, worked together to prevent that from happening", she continued. Actually Phoebe had been supposed to say that in the way they had practiced the conversation but Paige had taken that part since her sister looked as if she was about to drop headfirst into her empty coffee cup she was uselessly having on the table in front of her.

"Really?", Chris asked and couldn't help the hopeful undertone in his voice or how his face lit up. But he was pretty certain that there was something that would make this harder than necessary.

"We do have one condition, though", Paige said and Chris felt his heart drop.

"We want to get to know you", she continued. Chris raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"She means we want to know about you", Phoebe jumped in.

"But you know I can't tell you-", Chris began but Paige cut him off.

"We know. We totally understand that, but there are things you can tell us about yourself. We don't wanna know what the future is like, but what kind of guy you are. You know so much about us, but we know nothing about you", Paige explained. She had always been curious to get to know the young whitelighter from the future who had so sexy eyes, and this was the perfect opportunity to do so.

"There's not a lot to know", Chris said truthfully. At least nothing that would make them happy.

"Oh I bet there is something", Phoebe said. "I mean you want to save Wyatt, we want to save Wyatt, the only thing we need from you is a little sign of good faith, you know what we mean?"

Great. They totally had him with his back against the wall right now. He had no choice but to answer their questions whatever they may be. Just for the innocents, he thought frustrated and shrugged, "Okay I guess. Well, what do you want to know?"

"Um, well", Phoebe began. She was not quite sure what to ask now, because secretly she hadn't expected him to agree. "Where are you from?", Paige asked.

"San Francisco", Chris answered. If they kept the questions on this level it probably wouldn't be too bad. But then he noticed something missing. "Where's Piper? Is she not in on that?", he asked the sisters suspiciously.

"Oh no, she is, she's totally supporting the idea, she's just a little sick right now", Phoebe said reassuringly.

Well done, mini me, Chris thought sarcastically. It was just wonderful that his baby self was causing his mother even more discomfort. As if adult Chris didn't make enough trouble.

"Uh, sit down", Paige said and pointed to a chair. Now that he had agreed to tell them something about himself they could as well go to a more relaxed conversation. He sat down on the chair she pointed to and she pulled a chair from the side to sit down on as well.

"So, what's it like for you in the past? I mean, aren't you homesick or something", Phoebe asked interested. She had always wondered what kind of guy just left everything he knew behind to go to another timeline.

Chris had to stop himself from laughing out loud. Homesick? He? Had they never listened when he had told them about stuff like, world of darkness, evil Wyatt taking over? Probably not.

"No", he just said instead of laughing.

"Why not?", Paige asked.

"well, it's not exactly a wonderful place to live, you know. If it was I wouldn't have come back to change it", he explained. He had a talent for understatement he believed. That time totally sucked.

"Yeah, right", Phoebe said, blushing a little when she realized the stupidity of her former question.

"what's your favorite movie?", Paige asked curiously.

"Uh, you wouldn't know it", Chris waved it off.

"Well you could try me, I know a lot of movies", Paige said confidently.

That caused Chris to smile a little. "Seriously, you wouldn't know, it hasn't been produced yet", he said and Paige now, too, realized her stupidity.

"Don't you miss the people from your time?", Phoebe asked now.

"There's not really someone to miss around", he said and he felt a little sad at that.

"Well, what about your family?", Paige jumped in and looked at him curiously.

"Uh, there's two reasons why I don't miss them", he said hesitantly. When both of the sisters nodded encouragingly he added, "Firstly, they never really cared about me, secondly they're all dead"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't wanna dig up old wounds", Paige apologized with a look of sympathy on her face.

"No, it's alright, they died a long time ago", Chris reassured her.

"Well, you could visit their versions from this time", Phoebe proposed.

"That wouldn't be a good idea, I think", Chris said warily.

"Why not?", Paige asked suddenly suspiciously.

"Well, do you see me going to some people who never saw me before and say; 'Hey, I'm your son from the future who hasn't been born yet, how're ya doin?'", he said with a slight grin. Both of the sisters grinned shyly, too.

"Yeah, I see your point", Paige said and smiled at him a little embarrassed.

Just in that moment Piper entered the kitchen. And she was very furious.

"There you are. Did you know about this!", she yelled and waved something small in his face.

He stared at the thing in utter confusion until he realized what it was and put his hand up to make her put it away. "Would you please not hold something in my face that you peed on? Besides, I've got no idea what the colors mean", he said.

She did not put the pregnancy test way that she was holding but emerged closer on Chris. "I can tell you what it means. It means I'm pregnant! Why didn't you tell me?", she shouted angrily.

"Tell you what?", he asked a little lost. He had honestly not known what the pregnancy test had meant.

"That I'm going to have another child!", she yelled and glared at him.

"Does the phrase 'future consequences', mean nothing to you?", he asked carefully. He didn't really understand her problem. He had told them over and over that he couldn't tell them about the future because that would cause too many problems. And they had accepted it.

"You could've prevented it!", she shouted. It seemed to Phoebe as if she made such a loud noise that the windows were already shaking. But maybe that was just an impression.

Chris stared at her in complete disbelief. He felt the sudden urge to repeat Prevent it?, in a childlike, confused voice but suppressed it. Instead he reworded that response to sound a little smarter. "Why would you want to prevent it?", he asked carefully. He tried to act as if this meant nothing more to him than the monthly phone bill but he had no idea if he was doing a good job.

How can she say that? The hurt child in him asked. He pushed his emotions aside and tried to listen to her response.

"Isn't that obvious! I can't have another child, I can't", she yelled and seemed to be close to hysterics now.

"Wh… why not?", Chris asked and cursed himself for stuttering. Stay calm, he tried to remind himself but the way these words touched his feelings deep inside were hard to control. He did his best not to think about any of the implications and only to focus on her.

"Leo's gone! I can barely handle Wyatt on my own, How am I supposed to take care of yet another child?", she asked him angrily.

Phoebe felt as if her heads was going to burst at all the emotions flowing in the room, but she kept quiet, careful not to upset Piper more. She sensed anger from her, but stronger than that, desperation. She didn't mean to yell at Chris but she had the feeling it was the only way to handle all the different emotions she was now facing. Yelling was way easier than caring.

Phoebe felt sorry for Chris being the scapegoat here, since he had done nothing wrong this time. But the emotions she picked up from his part were very confusing. She just couldn't pinpoint anything. The emotions were very strong but she couldn't identify them.

Paige on the other hand was just confused and scared by the behavior of her sister and startled at the way the whitelighter reacted. He seemed as if he was backing down but she couldn't know why.

Phoebe wondered about one other thing. Why the hell could she pick up all the emotions of everyone in the room even though she knew at least two of them had taken an empathy blocking potion and she was quite certain the third one had as well. What was that thing good for if it stopped working on stronger emotions?

"I mean, how am I supposed to love a child I don't even have the time to care for?", Piper rambled on, oblivious to her sisters confusion.

That triggered something in Chris. He didn't really know what it was, but suddenly he felt very angry at her.

"Well, now, that explains a lot", he said and hostility was evident in his voice.

"What do you mean?", Piper asked, startled by the response. She hadn't really expected any response since she hadn't planned her outburst at all.

"I'm sorry I can't tell you. Future consequences", he snapped back. From his tone they all knew he was not sorry at all. Sometimes he ad wished he could just tell his family everything, but now not telling them gave him a deep sense of satisfaction.

"Oh you're telling me right now, I'm not buying that anymore", Piper yelled angered by that stupid response.

"Well you don't have to worry about loving that child, you won't manage anyway", he told her glaring at her. The other sisters noticed a change in their body language. At first Piper had been moving closer on him, while he seemed to shrink, now it was the other way around and Chris was the one who was angry and moving, while Piper was backing down.

"How would you know?", she yelled back, determined not to let him win this argument.

"Well, it's quite obvious from its later actions", he said loudly. Of course she had no idea what he was referring to, but he did and that was enough for him.

"What actions?", she asked startled.

"Uh well, like committing suicide at the age of fourteen because it believed no one loved it? Turns out it was right", he said only to hurt her. It was of course true, but he had never meant to say it. The words just came flowing out of his mouth without any thinking on his part. The shocked expression on her face was totally worth letting slip something about the future. She should be hurt. After everything she had done both in the past and the future she deserved it.

"You're lying!", she shouted after some seconds of adjusting. She was not going to accept something as ridiculous as that. Her child would not kill itself, that was simply impossible.

"Yeah, would be easy if I did, huh?", he spat back. "Unfortunately for both you and the child it is the truth", he added.

"No it can't be", Piper said a little more quiet. That revelation was definitely not a good one.

"Oh, suddenly you care? What about your immediate need to get rid of the child some minutes ago?", he asked. He knew it was probably not fair to hit on her like that right now, she was just confused about the entire situation, and maybe scared of the idea of having to raise another child on her own. But he didn't care about her feelings at all right now. After all she never had about his.

"That's… that's…", Piper started futilely, without any idea how to finish the sentence. He was right, the idea of her child committing suicide was painful for her, but on the other hand she didn't even want to have it.

"You know what?", he kept on hitting. "You could just abort the child. Trust me, you'd be doing him a huge favor!", he yelled. And he meant it. Every bit of his mind totally meant it. With that he orbed away leaving behind some very, very emotionally turmoiled Charmed Ones.

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He rematerialized on the only place aside from the bridge he could think of to be alone. It was his spot in a very different way.

But the fact that he had died here didn't make it any less beautiful.

The second he orbed in he fell on his knees on the soft grass next to the huge oak tree. It was raining again.

He felt as if he was fourteen all over again. Back then he had believed his mother hadn't cared for him, hadn't loved him. Now he knew she never ever had. His very existence was enough for her to freak out, so it was obvious to him now how right he had been.

He felt a single tear running down his face which startled him. He had hardly ever cried since he had been resurrected, but this seemed to be less him but rather the little boy in him who only had wanted his mother to love him.

Futilely.

Now he knew that boy had never had a chance. He simply couldn't get the love he needed. The world still hated him and that would never change, not in the past, not in the future.

And yet that horrible world enslaved him to save it, enslaved him to save it. Even though he didn't care about any of this he had to work for everyone else, even though they all hated him.

And above all it wouldn't even be a way out to kill himself. Of course the phrase, "Suicide it not the solution", was something every therapist would tell you, none of them knew how true it was, except for him. There was absolutely no way for him to find peace, ever, if he killed himself he would probably become an Angel of Death again, but that would bring him no peace either.

He couldn't give up. He had no idea how to go on. This just wasn't fair. Nothing was fair here.

Out of instinct he pulled the knife out of his pocket and did the only thing he could think of.

The rain kept pouring on his head and the world kept spinning while he wished for nothing more desperately than it spinning without him.

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The instant Chris had left Piper dropped to her knees on the kitchen floor and started sobbing uncontrollably. She couldn't believe it all.

"what am I going to do?", she asked her sisters. She had no idea how to handle all this. She didn't know how to take in all this at once.

Two main facts were standing out in her mind. She was going to have another child. And that child was going to kill itself because of her. The only possible conclusion was that she was a horrible mother. One of her children was going to kill itself because of her and the other one would turn evil. Maybe because of her, too.

"Baby we can prevent that", Phoebe said and put her hand on Piper's shoulder. Piper hadn't even noticed how her sister had gotten up from her chair to knee beside her but just looked at her "How?", she asked with her voice barely more than a whisper.

"We are going to care for him", Paige reassured. She was apparently the only one who had noticed that Chris had let the gender of the child slip when he had been very angry.

"Are we?", Piper said in disbelief, but she felt how her sister reassurances were slowly calming her down.

"Yes", Paige stated firmly while Phoebe nodded.

Just in that moment they were distracted by something else. They heard a loud noise from the attic. In the fear that it was maybe a demon attacking who wanted to harm Wyatt, Paige took both of her sisters's hands and orbed to the attic without even asking for permission.

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They orbed in just in time to hear a very familiar voice say "ow"

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A/N: That's it for now, I decided to split here for no apparent reason, but I figured it would be a nice cut here, leaving you guys to wonder who says ow and what happens next.

Well, please review, hope you like it!