"No, you don't love me!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

What can I say? I am a real DOPE when it comes to men. I have been literally drooling over my on again off again boyfriend - Trenton SUPERCOP Joseph Anthony Morelli - for 15 years. He played choochoo with me when I was 6, took my virginity at 16 and now... after almost ten years of being free of Morelli, he appeared in my life again. The only difference is that this time he has decided that he is in love with me, wants to marry me and have lots of children (two - that's a whole load). He has been pretty consistent for the last three years... other that the occasional off again "break."

He has fallen into typical Burg Male wanting to settle down mode. He really believes (and tries to convince me) that the best thing for us is to settle down RIGHT NOW. Well we've cohabitated (on & off again) in the last three years. To my surprise it has been easy; we seem to have molded to each others habits. BUT, on the other hand Joe is so consumed with the idea of the Burg family life that he has not bothered with romance, wooing or sweet talking. He is so sure that we WILL end up together that, in his mind, there is no need for that.

"Listen we've been at this 'relationship' for a little over three years, yet you have never took me out on a real date!" I mean if you call shopping a date than maybe we've dated a few times.

"Cupcake, we don't need all the lovie dovie shit to know we love each other"

"Hummmpph". He doesn't even know I want the lovie dovie shit.

"What are you telling me that after three years of being together you want to date?"

"Joe, don't you think it's a little weird that you are sooooo in love with me, yet you can even bring yourself to take me on date, you have never bought me flowers or a gift just to say you love me"

"Crap" he sighed. He tilted his head back so far I thought he was going to fall over, He ran his hands through his hair and then down his face. "Ok. You are right. I have a real crappy week coming up, but let's go out to dinner on Friday night." God, he looked like a ten year old boy after his mother had made him apologize to the smaller kid for picking on him.

"Fine, if it's what you really want I will be happy to join you." I said with a smirk on my face.

"Where are we going? What should I wear?" I asked trying to see how far he was willing to go; I wanted to know if he considered Pino's a date.

"Well we can go to the new Italian restaurant downtown, it's supposed to be real nice and elegant" Ok, so maybe he was taking this a little serious after all. HEHEHEHE.

And then there is Ranger... ohhhhhh Ranger. He is a tall Cuban-American with Mocha Latte skin, muscles that are just yummy, lips that are scrumptious and big brown eyes that burn your skin. He is Mr. Macho himself, a real badass, many feared him, women dream about meeting him, and me? I drool all over him. In short he is every woman's wet dream, the forbidden apple. Well I have to be honest and say that I've taken a few bites out of that red juicy apple, and let me say... YUM!

Ranger and I have had three years worth of stolen kisses and touches, we did sleep together once but it was while Joe and I were on a "brake." He told because of his life style he didn't do relationships and sent me back to Morelli. That was about a year and half ago, and the kisses between us didn't end, the sexual tension had built up to the red-hot zone. That was until one day one of his Merry Men called to tell me that Ranger was called on assignment with the government and was going to be incommunicado for a very long time. It has now been seven months since he left without a word. I've asked Tank, his right hand man, about him, but all he could say is that no news was good news.

Well it's Monday and I have five days to get ready for my first date with my boyfriend. I mean I can only imagine the crazy wild animal sex that we are going to have after the date. I mean Morelli is greaaaat in bed... a real Italian Stallion. His has the best ass in Trenton, and boy, does he use does muscle well while in bed.

I called Lula and told her to meet me at the mall with comfortable walking shoes, because it shopping time! We met up at the food court and did Olympic tract circles around the mall all day. I got my outfit, underwear and shoes for the Friday night's date. As I was coming out of the mall, just as i reached my car i felt the oddest thing. A flash of heat ran through my body accompanied with a wave of nausea so strong I had to drop to my knees to overcome it. I was sweating profusely and I was starting to shake a bit. I was on my knees for a few minutes until I felt ok to get behind the wheel.

As I drove home I started thinking that it was the third time in the last week that I've had an episode like this. So I whipped out my cell from my pursed and called my doctor.

"I think I need to come in, there might be something wrong with my blood sugar or something." They gave me a 4:30PM appointment, which gave just enough time to pick up a Boston cream at Tasty Pastry and head to the Dr.'s office. A girl has to have her priorities.

I sat there swinging my feet off the medical bed in the exam room, waiting for my Dr. to return with blood test results. He had told me that it probably was my sugar given my unhealthy and lack of exercise. He came into the exam room holding a container.

"What are those?" I asked him with curiosity.

"Vitamins!" he said with a smile on his face and a lot of amusement.

"I knew it! My blood sugar is all mess up isn't it?" I exclaimed wailing my hands around.

"No, they are prenatal vitamins, you're eight weeks pregnant!" he was smiling a full ear to ear smile. He has been my Dr. for about fifteen years and I'm sure he was glad that he was the one giving me the good news.

"B..b...but I'm on the pill, we've used condoms!" I managed to gasp as astonishment took over my speech.

"Steph I've been a physician for over thirty three years, if I had a nickel for every time someone said that to me I'd give Trump a run for his money" he said with a giggle. "Listen it happens, maybe you missed a couple of pills in a row, that's all it takes"

I left his office with a goody bag filled with my vitamins, literature on pregnancy, and the actual pregnancy test strip with the stupid red line indicating a positive result. He said that people usually love to keep it as a memento. Ha! Little does he know it's the last keepsake I want to have.

Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Damm Shit! Fuck!