Disclaimer: I'm gettin' no dough, just so you know.
Rating: T…I suppose. Sexual situations and two measly curse words.
Note: This story has absolutely nothing to do with the ongoing plot of the show, nor does the season finale factor into it in any way. Let's put it in that fun time-out-of-time, post-Boone because I don't write Boone, but disregarding anything tragic after "Do No Harm," especially if it has anything to do with the frizzy-haired French wack-a-doodle or her mysterious smoke.
Using Your Brain
Jack had put Kate in charge of a medicine hunt. They were running low on the herbs that Sun had wisely identified as helpful to them—for pain, disinfecting, sleep, etc. Why Jack didn't send Sun was a mystery to Sawyer, unless he had taken a liking to the skinny Korean beauty and wanted to keep her around to "help" him…you know, tackling the important burns and bug bites the whiny cavers were always getting. Or else he was being the overprotective sexist bastard Sawyer saw him for.
Why Jack had the authority to command people was not such a mystery to him, but it irked him no less.
Sayid was also going to go. Since Shannon was as bitchy as ever, it didn't seem all that odd that he would abandon her. Hell, Sawyer decided he would easily do the same if he was in Sayid's shoes. Hadn't he seen Shannon throw a water bottle at Claire's short watchdog earlier that day? Damn near hit him in the head. So Sayid was going to accompany her, because they were now at the point that nobody went into the jungle alone, except, of course, Locke, who was above Jack's law. There were many reasons it was safer, but the unmentioned one was that the monster had yet to eat two people at once.
Kate approached Sayid at the signal fire, and Sawyer followed a ways off, watching. Sayid sat looking forlorn and didn't get up when Kate came calling. In fact, he shook his head sadly and pointed at Shannon, who was curled up under a tree down the beach, staring out over the water. Kate smirked, but Sayid looked quite serious. Kate looked even more doubtful, now talking loudly enough that those close by could hear their conversation. Sawyer only caught bits and pieces.
"Bullshit…whipped…Jack said… Fine…" She turned to stalk off.
Then there were scraps of Sayid's response: "…trust you?…passport…nobody knows…more guns…who would…?"
Then Kate said, "Sawyer."
Sayid laughed bitterly, shaking his head and pointing at him. Once again, he only heard every other word: "… stupid perhaps…too horny for..."
It looked to Sawyer like Kate might hit Sayid, but she didn't, instead turning without comment and heading straight to Sawyer. He couldn't stop grinning.
She said, "I need your help."
"Do you, now? Ain't I the one who told everybody about your fake passport in the first place?"
"I don't know why I even bother." She turned and began to walk away.
"What do I get if I go?"
She stopped without turning. "What?"
"What do I get?"
"Respect for helping us get something important."
"No, I think that's what you're after."
She turned slowly, tiredly. "Then why don't you tell me what you're after, then, Sawyer."
"You."
She didn't say anything. She didn't have to. She knew he would go, that this was just his typical stalling. He would get to spend a whole freakin' day with her, alone, and he didn't particularly care about anyone else's opinions of her, or of himself.
She sighed and said, "If you care to help me, meet me at the caves as soon as you get some stuff together."
"Yes, ma'am. I believe I will."
A few minutes later, Sawyer was in his little makeshift homestead, shuffling his stuff around, searching for something he'd hidden so carefully he might never find it. Eventually, he found them, tucked into a box that had once contained animal crackers.
He smiled. They were Trojans, even if they were glow-in-the-dark.
"I believe one of those is mine," a voice said from behind him. It was Sayid, and he was not happy.
"You plan on gettin' lucky with the Ice Queen? I'd say you need more protection than this. A sharp stick maybe."
"It's none of your business. I held up my end of the deal."
"That was an ugly scene. She might not forgive you."
"Perhaps not. I tried to be nice."
"But she wasn't at all convinced that Shannon would let you come near her, much want you to."
"She does. But, no, Kate was incredulous to say the least. It was only too easy to use her sketchy past against her. It's fitting, I suppose, that she ended up with someone else with a fake name."
"How did you…?"
"I didn't."
Sawyer dropped the condom into Sayid's hand, and Sayid frowned at the color, but he didn't say anything.
Sawyer said, "Don't girls like Shannon get the shot, so they don't have to be bothered with taking pills every day?"
Sayid frowned at him, slipped out of Sawyer's hut, and headed straight for the Wicked Witch of the Beach. Sawyer slipped a condom into his pocket, picked up his pack, and headed out to the caves.
They walked for probably a couple of hours before they began to see anything they were after. Kate carried a backpack with several plastic containers, and they both began to fill them with eucalyptus. Long after they had their quota of that plant, they still had yet to find any of the others, which were scarce anyway.
"Which one is it that the Doc's so crazy about?"
"Aloe. For burns. We've seen and cut some, and so has Locke, so there must be more."
"Why don't you dig up a whole plant, then, if we find one—you know, to grow nearby so we don't have to keeping hunting it down?"
She made a face at him. "That's actually a really good idea."
"Surprised I have a brain?"
"No. Surprised it can think beyond the zipper in front of it."
After a long day of hunting down the elusive aloe plant, they had yet to find the third one, the one that they only knew the Korean name for. They were both drenched in sweat, but Sawyer had long ago gotten used to it, so he didn't notice until they slowed down. It got dark fast in the jungle. They had been following a small stream, and it led them to a small cave, just big enough for a little safety and shelter.
Sawyer said, "Why don't we bed down for the night?"
"I was so hoping to avoid that."
"Why? You scared of me?"
"Should I be?"
He was hurt. Her tone of voice made it sound like a serious questions, even though she definitely wasn't scared of him. "No, Freckles. I'm harmless."
"In that sense, anyway. I'd hoped to get this done in one day."
"Well, what the hell do we have on the agenda for tomorrow, really? Besides, this is no worse a place to settle in for the night."
"I guess," she said.
Before it got too dark, they washed up in the small stream, or at least Sawyer did. He took off his shirt and rinsed it and himself, watching closely as Kate only scrubbed down her face and arms. They ate fruit for dinner, some they'd picked up along the way. By this point, nobody enjoyed the fruit any more, and they ate it mechanically. They built no fire, so with the trees overhead blocking out any semblance of moonlight, it was quite dark. Cavers would have been used to it, but they definitely were not. They sat with their backs against the cool rock facing, silent for a long time.
Finally, Sawyer said, "It's quiet out here."
"Are you nuts? The bugs, and—"
"I can't hear the ocean."
"Yeah. So?"
"I don't sleep so well without it."
"Oh, that's sweet. It's like you lost your teddy bear."
He leered at her, though she wouldn't see it. "Are you offering to be the replacement?"
"Maybe," she said.
He could only see the silhouette of her face—the profile of her nose and an occasional reflection of the moonlight in her eyes. He didn't dare risk pushing that issue further, so he waited for her to talk again.
"I don't mind not hearing the ocean. I don't hear it if I'm at the caves. But I still can't get used to the dark."
"Oh?"
"They never shut all the lights off in prison. There's always a fluorescent on somewhere. And you get used to never being alone."
"Why were you in jail, Kate?"
"What's your real name, Sawyer?"
"Fair enough. Not important. Anyway, you're not alone out here."
She didn't speak for a moment. Instead, she took a long drink from her water bottle. He felt a tension between them, he thought, but it was a good tension, the kind that might actually lead to something. His experience with women told him he could have her tonight. Just a matter of the right words, the right touches. But he wanted to be sure, to make certain that he wasn't going to make her do something she wouldn't want to repeat. It was a little maddening, being that close to her without touching her. So he concentrated on the occasional breeze that rattled the leaves around them and blew across his bare chest. It was almost nice.
She asked, "Why did you agree to come along?"
"I told you."
"Not really."
"I like you. I'd rather spend time with you than hang out on the beach and pick a fight with the Baby's new step-daddy. Or dodge water bottles."
It seemed to Sawyer like she scooted a little closer to him, so he slid his hand over her knee, rubbing small circles into her pant leg. She said, "You don't care that I'm a fugitive?"
"Not at the moment."
"What do you care about at the moment?"
"Honestly?"
"Yeah."
"Gettin' in your pants."
She giggled but did not pull away from him. "How gallant."
"I ain't Jack."
"I know. That's why I like you."
"You like me? Since when?"
She rested her head on his bare shoulder, and her hair tickled his neck. "Jack's a little too good. Probably not as good as you at certain things."
His breath caught in his chest because of the tone in her voice. He's swear she was coming on to him. His brain told him it wasn't possible, but the brain he used more often with regards to her didn't care.
Calmly, smoothly, he said, "What things?"
He felt her breath on his neck. "Oh, you know…" She traced her tongue along the edge of his ear, and it was all he could do not to groan in response. She hastily stood up, pulling on his hand. He scrambled off the ground and allowed her to back him into the rock facing.
He kissed her neck and whispered, "Just what are you up to, Freckles?"
"Do you want me to stop?"
"Do I look like an idiot to you?"
"No." She trailed her fingers across his chest absentmindedly, then she kissed him in short, soft bursts, saying in between them, "If only… we had… some protection..."
Without thinking about how it would make him look—in fact, sure it wouldn't matter and congratulating his genius planning—he said, "My pocket."
She slid her hand into each back pocket of his tight jeans slowly, then he let out a shallow breath as she wiggled her fingers into one front pocket, then the other, finally producing the small, faintly glowing package, examining it before she handed it over to him. She didn't giggle, but he said anyway, "It's all I could find."
Then her hand slipped between them again, this time into her own pocket, and he soon heard another rattling. She said in his ear, "Maybe we should use the one Sayid gave me."
At the mention of Sayid's name, he froze and he saw another faintly glowing condom in front of his eyes, where she held it. He could hardly see her smirk in the tiny bit of moonlight, only her eyes. She said, in a deep, very obviously fake sexy voice, "You think he'd like to join us?"
She backed away from him, and he murmured, "Oh, that son of a bitch." Now it began to make sense.
"He was just looking out for me."
He said angrily, "You're cruel, you know. Really fucking cruel."
"Interesting choice of words."
He turned his back on her, though it was dark, instinctively hiding his anger and his disappointment. And his physical response to her teasing. She had played a very dangerous game—well, not really so dangerous, but how would she know him well enough to know he wasn't that type of man?
He said, "You really aren't scared of me, are you?"
"No. I don't think you want me to be."
He was stuck, and he knew it. He cursed her under her breath, but the best he could manage for a threat was, "A girl can get a reputation for doing things like that."
"Thanks to you, I already have a reputation, and for something nobody on this island understands."
"That's not my fault."
"No. But this is?"
"Yeah."
"Let me get this straight: me pretending to seduce you isn't fair, but you coming with me under false pretenses is?"
"First, that wasn't pretend seducing, not to me and probably not to you either. Second, I told you exactly why I came."
After a pause, she said, "I suppose you did, didn't you."
"So you must have wanted me to come despite that. Maybe because of it."
"That's something you'll never know."
She sat down, pocketing the condom first.
He said, "I don't suppose I get to ask for that back."
"Nope."
"You plannin' on using it?"
"With who?"
"Don't play stupid with me."
"I'm not sleeping with Jack. And it's not mine to give anyway. It's Sayid's."
"Well, I'm sure he needs it. No tellin' what he could catch from Malibu Barbie."
"It's not for his use."
"Oh?"
"It's a baby shower present."
Sawyer groaned. "Now, if that don't beat all. The homely midget gets laid and I don't."
She laughed at that, although she tried to cover it up. "You know, there's a certain period of time after giving birth that a woman can't have sex."
"How long?"
"I don't know. I think six weeks."
"Good. Then I have six weeks to beat him to the punch."
She didn't answer. She only shook her head and chuckled. But was it a 'never' or a careful cover for temptation? He spent the next couple of hours laying awake, watching her sleep, contemplating just that. He comforted himself with knowing she believed what she said about Captain Jack, that he was too good. She had to, or he'd have gotten her in bed—so to speak—a long time ago…if he had any sense. The more Sawyer thought about it, the more he realized she hadn't been pretending nearly as much as she'd like him to believe. He knew—he'd pretended for years. You could fake almost anything, unless someone suspected you were. For instance, she claimed to hate him, but she willingly set out to seduce him, and she was now laying beside him, sleeping soundly. That implied at least some level of trust, didn't it? Sawyer carefully placed his arm across her stomach and tried to get comfortable without waking her. Truthfully, he didn't think he had a polar bear's chance in the tropics of getting to sleep.
end
(I realize this one was predictable. I wanna know, seriously, if that kept it from being fun.)