2016 EDIT

See below for any warnings and disclaimers.

Dedicated to my brother, David, who made a joke and inspired me.

Pain In The Ass

Chapter One
In Which the Reader Learns How It All Began, Beginning with Genma and Raido

To place your spinning kunai into your pouch with one swift motion is a hard learned thing. It involves time and in some cases can be a real pain in the ass. Literally. As Kakashi found out.

Stifling a groan, Kakashi heard a tearing sound and felt a stab of pain across his buttocks. He fell forward onto his knees, clasping his butt, feeling a slight trickle of blood.

"What's the matter Kakashi?" asked Raido as Kakashi hissed through his teeth.
"I stabbed myself."
"You what?"
"I stabbed myself."
"Let me see."
"Wait a sec." Raido murmured. "I'll need a second opinion."

Raido disappeared. He came back with Genma.

"Ch. So I hear the stupid bastards sliced himself up."

Genma looked interested as he looked down at his friend. Kakashi tried to stand up but couldn't. It hurt too much. He bit back a moan. Genma squirmed.

"Here… Let me see… Oh shit!"
"What? What's wrong?" asked Kakashi worried.

Genma coughed.

"Well… Umm… Your pants are in the way… so…"

Kakashi looked suspiciously at the senbon-sucking Jounin.

"What ARE you trying to say?"

Genma gazed down longingly. Kakashi tried to roll over - but it still hurt too much.

"Awwww…! It hurts! Raido! Do something! Go fetch somebody useful! Not your boy toy."
"Who are you calling a boy toy?" asked Genma, wiping away the excess blood, pulling back the pants for a better… view. He nearly died choking on his senbon.
"He hurts!" snorted Raido. "I'm hurting."

Trying to look innocent, he sat down and folded his hands on his… lap.

"Ermmm…."

Genma and Raido sighed.

Please review~!

Warnings: Extreme silliness, OC Canon Charas
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. This story does not reflect Kubo Tite or any of the original producers.