The Reasons

By darthelwig

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I do not own Saiyuki. I would never claim to.

Slight hints of slash, but only hints this time. This story is rated T.

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Genjyo Sanzo is beautiful and untouchable.

He is cold, distant, holding himself apart from the rest of the world- even from his friends.

He is dangerous- as likely to lash out as to tolerate anyone else's presence.

He is predictable in his actions, yet strangely wild.

He is untamable.

Perhaps that is why Gojyo always pushes. He could never resist a challenge. He is a child of taboo who wants to touch the untouchable. He is drawn like a moth to the flame- unable to resist the seductive lure of what is forbidden to him.

Perhaps that is why Hakkai strives so hard. He cherishes that strength- the singularity of purpose that Sanzo once used to save him, to recreate him. He needs that reminder to live, so he can continue to exist as Cho Hakkai. He needs and Sanzo reluctantly provides.

Perhaps that is why Goku clings so desperately. After years of cold stone and loneliness, Sanzo is his heat. And if he has to struggle through the cold Sanzo surrounds himself with to find that warmth that is okay. He is used to it and he is strong- and he will not leave his sun to exist in that cold alone. He is determined to be strong enough for both of them.

And perhaps the man known as Genjyo Sanzo needs them too.

Perhaps he needs Gojyo to push at the limits he's set to remind himself that he is still human, still breathing, still alive.

Perhaps he needs Hakkai to look up to him that way- to make him want to be a person worthy of that admiration. Or perhaps he simply needs the reminder that he is not an evil man. Perhaps he needs that reminder even more than Hakkai does.

And perhaps he needs Goku's blind faith and innocent heart to remind him that he has a heart too. Perhaps he needs Goku to show him that kindness is not necessarily a weakness. Perhaps he needs Goku to remind him what it's like to feel.

Perhaps the four of them exist to support each other. Perhaps they exist simply to be together.

Perhaps none of this even matters.

Perhaps these reasons aren't really reasons at all. Perhaps they are merely excuses.

Perhaps, in the long run, all that matters is that they are together.

And perhaps that is okay too.