Basketball Blunders

Disclaimer: "Oh good! Maybe they'll stop calling me that then!" – Pip, South Park

Chapter 9: Big Game!

Downtown Malibu

In front of a donut shop, a cop sat behind the driver's seat of his squad car.

"Zzzzzzzz…" The cop snored. "Mm…bacon…zzzzzzz…"

"This is dispatch calling all units…" The squad car's radio crackled, waking up the cop.

"Captain Fantastic!" The cop mumbled as he woke up. He quickly straightened his hat.

"We got that crazy man Burns driving again." The dispatch sighed.

"Aw, man…" The cop moaned. "Who keeps that idiot get behind the wheel of a car?" He heard screaming. He looked out his window, and he saw the Firerunner race by.

"BWAAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The cackling voice of Firestorm could be heard. Rock 'n' Roll appeared to be tied up to the roof.

"FIRESTOOOOOOOOOOOOOORM!" He screamed as the Firerunner zoomed by. The cop's jaw dropped.

"Oh…my…God!" The cop gawked. "Man, there are some real psychos in this town! I should've stayed in Cleveland! At least there, all I had to deal with was loudmouthed rock musicians!" He started his car and activated the sirens.

The Malibu Youth Center

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Don asked Alison Blaire. The two were sitting on the stands.

"Don't worry." Ali reassured. "Terrell and Kyle know what they were doing…I hope." The aerokinetic speedster and the electrical generator were standing on one side of the court, and on the other, stood the two Metallix members called Rhinox and Ringer. However, Rhinox looked a little wobbly.

"Come on, Rhinox…" Ringer complained, trying to steady his teammate. "Get your head back together, man!"

"No…more…pie, mon." Rhinox mumbled. "Pretty horsey. You're welcome."

"Aw great, he's been knocked stupid." Ringer sighed. "And I was dumb enough to agree to no powers for this?"

"I like happy ponies, mon…" The Jamaican powerhouse rhino-like mutant mumbled with a silly smile on his face.

"Ugh…" Ringer groaned.

"Hey, man! Let's do this!" Terrell grinned, spinning a basketball on his finger.

"Yeah, jabroni!" Kyle added. "The Thunderbolt ain't got all day!"

"Let's do this!" Ringer snapped. Don walked up to the center of the court, and the speedster pitched him the ball.

"Okay, kids. You know the rules?"

"Yeah, yeah." Ringer grumbled. "No powers, first to twenty, blah blah blah."

This is gonna be easy. Kyle grinned to himself as he noticed Rhinox looking rather puzzled.

"Where am I?" He mumbled.

Man, Dazzler blasted him stupid! Kyle grinned. The Thunderbolt's respect for the Disco Queen has just gone way up.

"Alright…" Don held the ball in both hands as Terrell and Ringer walked up to the center of the court, facing off. "And go!" He threw the ball up in the air. Terrell and Ringer both leapt up into the air. Ringer managed to swat it towards Rhinox.

"Rhinox, catch it!" He exclaimed. The ball flew towards Rhinox.

"Huh?" It bounced off the rhino-like mutant's head.

"Aw, for the love of-!" Ringer groaned in frustration. The ball landed in the hands of Kyle Wildfire, who managed to get to his side of the court and nail a beautiful slam dunk.

"Two points, jabroni." Kyle smirked.

"Go, Kyle!" Ali whooped.

"Grrr…" Ringer snarled. He glared at a wobbly Rhinox. "You are no help!" He whacked the Jamaican mutant right upside the head, causing him to fall over flat on his face. "Oy…"

"You know what?" Kyle scrunched his face in thought. "Rhino-Boy's been knocked silly. So poor Ringy is on his own. So, I'm taking myself out, man. The Thunderbolt's a lot of things, but he don't believe in fighting dirty…unless they want it to be. So my basket don't count."

"Fair enough." Terrell shrugged.

Oh, thank God. Ringer sighed gratefully.

"Still first to twenty, but one-on-one." Terrell told the rules to Ringer. "No powers."

"Fine." Ringer smirked.

Some time later

"Huh…Huh…Huh…" Ringer panted tiredly. He was leaning on a stand, panting in exhaustion. "Sixteen to seven…Sixteen…to…seven." He mumbled to himself. "I can't believe this."

"Having trouble?" Dazzler teased with a grin. Ringer scowled up at her.

"Ah, shaddap." He grunted. "You were the one who knocked Rhinox stupid, and now he can't even play!"

"Awwww…whadda madda?" Dazzler teased. "Can't one member of the big bad band Metallix beat a loudmouthed Malibu punk who isn't using his powers?"

"Hey!" Terrell exclaimed with mock indignance.

"Aw, stop…" Ringer moaned. He ran back out into the court. Man, I hate this! Rhinox isn't much help! He keeps stumbling around, looking like he has no idea what he's doing, which is really distracting to me! Thanks a lot, Dazzler! I managed to get a lead for a little while thanks to that last three-pointer I scored, but one Misfit, even with no help, managed to get way ahead! I'm gonna lose, man! Lose bad!

"Hey, come on!" Terrell taunted Ringer, dribbling the ball. Ringer growled.

"This ain't fair, man!" Ringer exclaimed. "Rhinox is distracting me out here!"

"Puff the magic dragon, mon…" Rhinox mumbled in a sing-song voice, stumbling backwards on one foot for a few steps before falling backwards on his butt. "Hee hee hee…" Ringer sighed.

"I'm screwed."

"Let's do this!" Terrell whooped. He moved towards the basket.

"That's it!" Ringer scowled. He created an energy ring and threw it.

"Hey! No powers!" Ali leapt up in outrage. The ring flew over Terrell, and bound the young hero's ankles together, causing him to trip up and fall flat on his face.

"Agh!"

"Ha!" Ringer whooped.

"Huh?" Rhinox blinked confusedly.

"You sneaky son of a-!" Terrell grumbled as he tried to get the ring off.

"Oh, come on!" Ringer rolled his eyes. "I'm one of the bad guys here! You guys didn't really think I'd play fair, did you?"

"Not really." Kyle shrugged, creating a spear of electricity. He then pitched it, hitting Ringer right in the butt.

"YEOW!" Ringer screamed, jumping up.

"This is crazy." Don sighed. With a grunt, Terrell got up, unhooked his ankles, and took Ringer out with one punch.

Sometime later

"This sucks!" Ringer whined as he got carted off by a couple Malibu cops. "Where's Mercury?"

"My head…" Rhinox moaned as he got stuffed into the back of a paddy wagon. Don and the three members of the West Coast Misfits watched the scene.

"Do you think they'll get the Whip?" Don asked.

"Don't worry." Ali shrugged. "Once the cops interrogate Metallix, they'll get the Whip."

"Yeah." Kyle nodded in agreement.

"Look out!" Terrell yelped. Don and the three West Coast Misfits yelped out of the way as the Firerunner, driven by an insanely-cackling Firestorm, and with a tied-up and screaming Rock 'n' Roll on the roof, crash through a nearby wall.

"FIRESTORM! YOU BLOCKHEAD!"

Well, well, well! Looks like our little story finally comes to an end! What insanity will happen down the line? What further adventures will our heroes get themselves into? Find out soon! This is L1701E, saying thanks for reading!