Half Asleep
By Seniya
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The skies were lonely tonight. The moon herself seemed intimidated by some greater company; it cowered behind an everlasting carpet of darkness, refusing to even let her presence become unrestricted knowledge.
The nightmares of the night took this as an opportunity to strike; they moved, silently, precariously, making their way through the cracks beneath windows and doors. And then, once inside, they raised their spindly hands in unison and caressed the young faces of their newest victims.
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A particularly dastardly dream made its way into Will Vandom's chamber, taking great care not to be discovered. Its footsteps danced over the carpet, becoming mere whispers in the night.
It paused by her bedside, and then vanished, moving instead to a different house, to find a more suitable host. Repulsed; of course by the fact that this girl was still awake.
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Will; for her part in this tale, was completely unaware of the intruder, or of its hasty departure. She noticed only the slight rustle of the drapes in the night wind. And even those sounds weren't enough to rouse her from her brooding.
She couldn't tell you, if by chance you ever wanted to ask her, exactly how long she'd been lying there; staring blankly at the whitewashed ceiling. Searching, to no avail for the answer to her burning question.
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Why?
Its simple enough, isn't it? And it's a query we've all asked ourselves at least once in our lives.
And here it is again: why isn't the answer ever as simple as the question?
Why can't we, the meager mortals, ever seem to discover the truth even after hours and contemplating it?
Why?
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He'd kissed her.
Even after repeating it for what had to have the thousandth time. It still was met with only despair.
The thought of him, nearing her, his green eyes layered with desire; even now, caused a wave of pain to ripple through her frame.
She had stood there motionless, and let him do it. And when he'd tasted her, she didn't resist his advances, she'd played along, allowing him to explore her soul, to plunder her mouth of all its secrets.
If she had wanted him before, she had needed him then.
She had melted in his arms. The dizzying sensations that swept through her body had driven her to the height of ecstasy rejecting to set her soul free of this pleasurable torture.
Then, it had gotten worse. The longing between them intensified, the kisses were no longer gentle, sweet. They were rough, painfully so; now he harassed her lips with an eternal passion.
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And then, too soon perhaps, they had stood once more, breathless, and gazing at each other, still unseeing. Words did not come. Words could not explain, surely, all that had just ensued.
Even more horrible had been the aftermath of the embrace---when he'd told her in a confined sort of voice that it had been a mistake; that he was sorry, and that it wouldn't, nor should it ever happen again.
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It was sickening to her how she could be feeling this way.
It was dense for more than a thousand reasons. For one, he was him, Caleb. End of story, he belonged with Cornelia. God, she didn't even want to entertain the thought of what Cornelia would say if she ever heard of this. It would be her fault of course…it was always her fault.
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Will still wasn't sure of the exact state of the relationship between Cornelia and Caleb, they had been together once…were they together now?
The infinite cavern that had eaten away room in her chest seemed to widen. The picture of him, with her…
She groaned; it was an empty sound, despite all the emotion behind it. The rage within her seemed to rekindle at the thought; she wanted to scream, to do something, more than just lie here…
And yet she didn't move.
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Running now to go declare her feelings to him was too; idiotic. He could never be with her.
She knew that.
Regardless of Cornelia. He belonged in Meridian; it was his home. These were the same thoughts that had plagued him with the blonde. That had been why they had never gotten serious.
And what could ever make her think that he would change his mind for her.
For his mistake.
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She was being silly. Childish, really, for letting a kiss disrupt her entire life. She needed to get over it, to pretend it never happened, he was certainly not sparing a thought to these events.
Why should she?
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She hated him now. For his reckless behavior---for ever believing that she wanted him to touch her.
For forcing her to lie here at night, with only the thought of his face to soothe her.
This wasn't supposed to be this way.
Why did it have to be this way?
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Her heart broke before her mind did, its defenses gone, melted in fact, they flowed from her in the form of perfect tears, disappearing before they could tell their stories to this earth.
She didn't try to stem the flow, there was no need. No one could see her now in this pathetic state; there was no need to hide.
Yes, she could take some comfort in knowing that, at least, the moon was absent, and not staring in the heavens down at her overexposed soul.
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Author: Well I took a break from Will x Phobos to write this. It has been nagging me for a while. So I hope you like it. It's a one shot. So please don't ask me for anymore if you liked it.
Review please, all comments are welcome.
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