Deep, Dark Water

By: Rogue Fox

Chapter 2: Difficulties

A/N: Hey, I got enough reviews and so, here's the sequel. Thank you for being so supportive. Same rules apply; I don't own Tsubasa, this does contain shonen-ai and yaoi and very mature content. I also kind of had to include my own personal version of what happened between Ashura and Fai... I didn't want to but you'll see how I kind of had to. If you don't agree, fair enough, tell me your side... I'm always interested in hearing new theories. Also, some people noted that Kurogane was a little out of character, and I tried to explain him a bit more in this one. Sorry about that. You know how it is, it just comes out that way. Anyway, read and please review and if you do, I might write another...

Kurogane had known from the beginning it was going to be difficult.

He had known from the moment Princess Tomoyo sent him to that crazy witch, from the moment that the boy had explained his own princess's predicament, and from the moment he had first encountered Fai. Kurogane had been entirely aware that it was not going to be easy to get home, help the boy on the way and not get killed in the process, and still deal with that idiotic wizard. But, Kurogane had figured that it wouldn't be all that bad. He was, after all, a man who enjoyed a challenge. It was just a matter of time before they landed in his own world, and the boy and the princess were both good, nice kids that would obviously grow into good, strong, honest, honorable adults so it wasn't a huge bother to help them, and Fai… Well. In the beginning, Fai was the only challenge that Kurogane secretly thought might be too much for him.

Gods above, there were moments when Kurogane was sure he was going to kill that mage, no matter what the price! And then… he would see that unbearable look, the one that made him angrier than everything else, the one that was like looking at one of those dolls Princess Tomoyo had had as a girl. Those dolls, with their flawless, beautiful faces, their perfect little lips puckered into a perfect, coy little grin, but the eyes… The eyes were always inexplicably sad, always looking like they might cry at any moment. Kurogane was a great lover of beauty. The dolls had been beautiful, just as Princess Tomoyo had. And he could never bear the look of sadness in the dolls' eyes, just as he'd never been able to bear any sadness in Princess Tomoyo's eyes. Something so beautiful, Kurogane thought angrily, should never be so sad. Fai was beautiful. Even when Kurogane had been trying to get a clear killing shot at him, he had never been able to deny the fact that Fai was beautiful in a way that he had never encountered beauty before. Light and thin and frail… Broken, actually. Fai reminded him of the time that Princess Tomoyo, a child at the time (Kurogane had been a teenager), dropped one of those dolls, and the thing had shattered, and the piece of painted porcelain with the sad eyes stuck to the head, leaving just the eyes framed by the empty space of its shattered head. Kurogane had never been able shake that image, and every time Fai got that sad look, it reminded him of the shattered doll. Fai was, to Kurogane, a broken doll. Someone's broken doll. Ashura's broken doll. Kurogane didn't know who Ashura was, but sometimes Fai mumbled in his sleeps… Sometimes he moaned. Sometimes he cried, and those were the worst times. He looked so pained, so sad, but so beautiful. Something so beautiful should never be so sad. The name Ashura was a name Fai spoke in many tones in the depths of his dreams, when he thought he was alone. Sometimes it was sad, sometimes angry, sometimes vengeful, sometimes calm, sometimes joyful, sometimes… sometimes, erotic and pleasure-filled. That was the worst. Kurogane hated that the most. He didn't know if this Ashura still lived, but if he did, then there would come a day when Kurogane would kill him, and Kurogane knew this, and relished in it, and did not care that he would pay with his strength. For Fai, to see Fai smile without that hint of fear in his features, that hint of sadness, it was a fair price.

Kurogane had never been much for gambling, and he knew that with Fai, everything he would ever do would be a gamble. Every smile and every glare he gave Fai was part of a nonstop game of chance. It had taken some time for Kurogane, headstrong warrior that he was, to realize what made Fai so different from every other waif of a fool he'd ever met. Another fool who was too stupid to fight back would not have been able to count of Kurogane's aid. Anyone too stupid to fight against those who would kill them deserved what they got. But Fai was different, and Kurogane had understood this on some level from the get-go. Although he most certainly was a waif, immature, silly, inappropriate, and the worst drunk Kurogane had ever encountered, Fai was no fool. He was quite smart, and quite good at covering it up by appearing like he was guessing the answers by chance. Kurogane knew that had Fai's circumstances been different, Kurogane probably would have liked him a great deal from the start. So much that he probably wouldn't have treated the wizard any different. But Fai lied. No, Fai acted. It couldn't be a lie when Fai was only pretending. He never blatantly lied, but he did pretend things away. At first, it seemed too much like lying. At first, Kurogane hadn't liked it at all. At first, Kurogane hadn't liked Fai at all. And so, Kurogane had reacted the only way he'd known how to react to such a strange situation; violently. He was a gruff man by nature, added to years of battle to make a very aggressive and rough personality. If someone annoyed Kurogane, that someone typically wound up dead, one way or another. The manju bun did not count. Fai was the only one that didn't. At first, Kurogane hadn't been able to understand why. Why couldn't he make himself kill the mage? What was so difficult about killing a single, scrawny man who wouldn't even fight back, who practically let him? At first, Kurogane told himself it was because Fai wouldn't fight back that he was still alive. There was no fun in it if the wizard wouldn't fight back, Kurogane told himself. And then, everything came crashing down around Kurogane when one day, he turned around and saw Fai smiling at him. That in itself was not unusual; Fai was always smiling. But this smile was a real smile, a true, honest smile that told of true, honest joy. Kurogane was filled with a warmth he hadn't known since he was a boy and Princess Tomoyo was a baby cooing and tumbling about. He caught a glimpse of the real Fai and for the first time, Kurogane wanted to make someone else smile. For the first time, Kurogane wanted to protect someone (other than Princess Tomoyo, naturally) not out of duty, but out of the pure desire to make him feel safe enough to be himself. Kurogane wanted Fai to feel safe enough to smile, to laugh, to cry, to do whatever he wanted or needed to. Fai was the first Kurogane had wanted to comfort. But Fai was the first in a lot of ways. He was the first to tease Kurogane and live to do it again, and again, and again. He was the first to stand against Kurogane's rage and not so much as bat an eye. He was the first that Kurogane had ever wanted to touch. He was the first that Kurogane had actually made love with. There had been others, girls mostly, a few men, flurries of sexual pleasure and no more. Most, Kurogane had never even seen again. Fai was the first that it had actually meant something with. When Kurogane touched Fai, it meant something, it was a promise between them, and Kurogane never broke his promises.

Everything that had grown, unspoken, between them came bursting out one afternoon in some world whose name Kurogane couldn't remember when Fai had seemed strangely out of touch with his surroundings. Kurogane had only newly come to his conclusion that Fai was not just some idiot that would eventually die as soon as that curse was lifted. Fai was something that no one else had ever been, and something that Kurogane was pretty sure no one else would ever be. He understood that though Fai very much enjoyed being roughly handled, the mage still needed to be comforted. He still needed soft whispers and soothing petting and gentle caresses. Kurogane was more than happy to give Fai what he needed to feel most safe, even if it was a little outside of his normal behavior. For Fai, nothing was too difficult. But all the same...

Kurogane had known it wouldn't be easy.

" Shh… It's okay, love, everything's alright…" Kurogane whispered, soothing the blonde wizard as he sobbed like a man tormented into Kurogane's chest. Fai hiccupped and sobbed more, pushing his perfect little nose against Kurogane's chest, rubbing his cheek against the bare skin. Even with tears on his cheeks, nose running, and hair disheveled, Fai managed to be more beautiful than all the stars in the sky and the moon and the sun put together to Kurogane. Heartbroken, sorrowful, frightened of something Kurogane couldn't see, but still beautiful. " Tell me what's wrong, Fai."

" Ashura…" Fai whispered, and just saying the name sent him into convulses of terror. Damn the bastard, Kurogane thought angrily, who would hurt Fai so badly. Damn him to hell a thousand times over.

Fai often woke from nightmares, screaming and wailing and crying, moaning names that Kurogane couldn't understand. The only one that occurred with any regularity was Ashura, and Kurogane hated him. Chi came often as well, but that was spoken softly, in comforted tones, in a soft, mildly reassured voice. Chi was a friend, as far as Kurogane could tell, and so he had no quarrel with Chi. There were other names, but Kurogane couldn't understand, and had never dared to ask. It pained him greatly to watch Fai struggle so desperately with his memories, he couldn't bring himself to ask questions, to prod Fai into explaining. But now, Fai had said the name Ashura, awake and mostly aware, and Kurogane took that as a sign that Fai was ready to talk.

" Who is Ashura?" Kurogane asked, and Fai shuddered violently. " Breathe, love, it's okay, it's just me. Breathe." Fai took a few shaky breaths.

" He is… my king… Ashura is the king of Seresu." Fai was finally able to say. Kurogane rejoiced that Fai was beginning to open up, he'd waited so long for this. Is, Kurogane thought, so he lives yet, a living man is much easier to slay than a dead one.

" Why should you fear your king? Did you break a law?" Kurogane asked gently, knowing he had to be way off base. Fai liked rules. Fai was always the first to ask the rules of the game, and always the last to break them. Even Kurogane, steadfast honest samurai, would break the rules before Fai.

" No… At least, I don't think it was a law…" Fai said, seeming to draw comfort by analyzing that side note. " I fought the king and I won." Fai said finally.

" Why didn't you kill him?" Kurogane asked.

" Who's to say I didn't?" Fai was gaining more and more of his footing back, throwing his guard back up, and this time, Kurogane was determine to tear it down. He knew he was gambling with really high stakes right then. If he pushed too hard, he might lose what little of Fai's trust and confidence he had, but on the other hand, this wall between them couldn't be allowed to continue.

" You said that Ashura is your king. As in, he is your king right now, which he couldn't be if he was dead." Kurogane said.

" You are very observant, Kuro-pin." Fai said, slapping that grin on his face.

" Stop it. Don't you dare try to laugh it off or pretend it away." Kurogane growled. " Not with me. I won't let you lie to yourself, or to me, because you mean too much to me, this means too much to me. If there's one thing I ask you to be, it's honest, and besides, you said you'd tell me someday." There was a long moment in which Fai pressed his face to Kurogane's chest and stayed there.

" He was good at what he did. Ashura, I mean. He'd find a mage, a young one, one with potential, and have their master or family killed. He'd come to them then, when they were vulnerable and off guard and angry. Offer them revenge. Offer them a chance to make sure that what happened to them wouldn't happen to anyone else. And the mage would never know… He'd break you down slowly, make all the decisions for you, tell you not to worry, don't worry about it, he'd take care of it. Just concentrate on your magic. But then, he'd start to control that too, but by then it feels so natural that you don't even notice. Then he'd start to tell you about how he dreamed of making Seresu one country, one big country. It would eliminate war and marauding and raids, the things that had killed our families and masters, or so we thought. It made so much sense… Gods, I was trained, more that the others, and I didn't even notice what he was doing to me, that he was slowly eroding my will and replacing it with… Nothing. I was his favorite. I never had much will to begin with, so it was easy to take me over completely. It gets hazy after that, because then he began to use outright mind-control magic on us, making us do things we'd never do otherwise… I remember little things, watching while things happened, and not doing anything." Fai looked up at Kurogane, eyes filling with tears. " I watched him do it, I watched him tear a woman limb from limb with his magic, and he just smiled the whole time and I did nothing. I just stood there. I couldn't move. I was gone, there was this… mindless zombie in my place. Chi was the one who… the one who was strong, she gained her will back and broke away. The others began to break off too, but I couldn't… I'd hear them telling me. I knew what they were saying, and somewhere far off, I, the real me not the zombie, knew they were right. That he was a murderer, a tyrant, a mind controller. But his voice was always in my head and he'd always say 'Fai, my pet, my favorite, you won't leave me, will you? You'll stay by my side…' and I could never make myself go. I didn't have the will… and then one day… I woke up. I just woke up and I was standing there with that goddamn staff he gave me and the bodies… Gods the bodies… Countless… there were so many, you couldn't see the ground for miles and I was all alone, the only thing alive for miles… I did that, I massacred them, I killed them all, every last one. I broke away, I ran and I hid, and I joined the rebellion with the other mages, with Chi, and they said I could beat Ashura, that I was the strongest, and I was the favorite and the favorite should kill the King. So I went and Chi came with me, Chi and three others. Ashura didn't die, he reached into my head again, and when I woke back up, Chi was dead… I killed Chi… Sweet, pretty little Chi… I ran away again. He made me kill so many, he made me kill Chi, my sweet little friend, and I couldn't bear any more, so I went to the hag and paid her with gold and alcohol and she made the marks on my back so my power was restrained and I'd never kill anyone ever again and I was glad… I used to lose control all the time when I was kid, I'd just lose my temper and my mother had to send me away cause I was too dangerous. Then I went back to Ashura, alone, and this time he didn't get into my head. But I couldn't kill him so I sealed him away. Now he sleeps in the bottom of the pool in the room and I was so lonely, no one came to the castle and I couldn't make myself leave. So I made a little thing and called it Chi, she was just like the old Chi, but she was artificial, she had no real will, and her will was what made the first Chi so exceptional. I loved my new Chi, but she wasn't the old Chi… The old Chi was dead, and so were most of the others. The people made me king, they said the throne was mine by right of victory, but I didn't want it, gods, I didn't want it… And Ashura would wake up… Someday, he would… I've always had a longevity problem with my spells, they never last as long as I want them to. So I left. I made it so my Chi would tell me if he ever woke up, but she hasn't yet, thank the gods, but I'm always afraid she will… I still hear him. I still hear him, and it doesn't help to know that he's still alive, that it's possible he really could be whispering to me in my dreams… But I still don't want to kill him… I can't kill him…"

Fai broke down into sobs and Kurogane sat, totally dumbstruck. He remembered how he once told Fai that if he'd ever attacked, the wizard would have run like a frightened rabbit until cornered, and then just smile blindly and wait for death to come. That was exactly what Fai had been doing. He had been running, and if Ashura ever caught up, Fai would just smile and wait for his death… or worse yet, his return to his mindless existence as a slave. There was no question now. Ashura, king or no king, would die and that was final. A bit of his strength in return for Fai's closure and safety was nothing. A fair price. It seemed that the world was completely comprised of fair prices anymore, but this price Kurogane had no quarrel with. But this whispering, this haunting Fai spoke of, Kurogane was at a loss for it. How could he possibly protect Fai from his tormenter if the tormenter only attacked in dreams? This was magic, and it was beyond Kurogane's frame of reference. Perhaps the witch… Kurogane shoved the thought away. It was useless now, with Fai sobbing like death itself hovered over him and clinging to Kurogane. Kurogane wasn't going anywhere for a long while, and that was fine. He'd talk to the manju bun tomorrow, and hopefully get an audience with the witch to ask her advice. Fai would never ask for help himself, that man was convinced that he could handle everything, and if he couldn't, then it was his just payment for his actions. Kurogane couldn't understand how Fai had done anything worthy of punishment… from what he could see, Fai had been the victim of circumstance and a pawn of higher powers that had found the strength to fight back. Kurogane felt a sense of pride well within him, that his lover was a man strong enough to fight a king and win.

It was a few hours before Kurogane managed to soothe Fai into a shuddering but deep sleep. The blonde man slept like the dead that night, and Kurogane silently thanked whatever gods graced this world for that small bit of relief from suffering. He wished his little lover the deepest, most dreamless sleep and wished that he would wake in the morning with the rising sun making his hair glow like a halo with a real smile on his face and that fresh, happy voice that always managed to make Kurogane smile, if only inwardly. He wished for Fai's happiness, and that it would come to him soon. He wished for Fai's safety, and that he would have the strength necessary to do what he must to protect his love. And he wished, selfishly, for Fai to always stay beside him, no matter what the price. And then, Kurogane finally understood the depth of what Syaoran-kun had done that day at the witch's shop, and Kurogane respected him deeply for it. He wondered, if it were him and not the kid, Fai and not the princess, would he have paid the same price? The answer came almost instantly; yes, without a doubt, without a second's hesitation. Any price was fine, as long as Fai was safe and happy, everything else was disposable. A new relationship could be built, as it was slowly being built between the kid and the princess, slowly, carefully, and gently. New, happy memories could be made, as the two young ones were doing. As long as there is life, there is hope, Princess Tomoyo had told Kurogane so. As long as the one he loved, the one that was most precious to him, lived, then there was hope. And with those contented thoughts drifting through his head, Kurogane drifted off into a happy sleep.

He woke when the sun was well in the sky, poking insistently in his eyes. Kurogane thought that the sun was quite inconsiderate and rude. Oh, wait, since when does the sun poke you…?

" Kurogane! Fai says it's time to waaaaaaaaaake uuuuuuuuup!" something yelled in his face. Kurogane sat up and snatched the white bun on his chest and held it close to his leering face.

" I'm seeing a vat of boiling oil with you slowly being lowered in, how about you, manju bun?" he growled.

" Mokona only sees a very angry Kurogane!" the white ball said perkily. Kurogane hurled it across the room.

" Go away!" he yelled, flopping back down and covering his head with a pillow.

" Mokona is going to tell Fai!" the white fluff ball yelled.

" Fine, fine, whatever, just go away!" Kurogane moaned, pleased when he heard the ball leave the room. Then he remembered his resolve to get the thing to contact the witch for him. " Ah, damn." He muttered, rolling out of bed and stumbling into the main part of the house they were staying in (some old lady's summer home, they accidentally did her son some favor and she let them use the house in return) in only a pair of pants. There, he was greeted by the most pleasing sight he'd ever encountered. Fai's round little ass. The mage was leaning over a table reading something, leaving his perfect little rear just practically begging Kurogane to come grind against it. He paused to consider his surroundings, and decided that there were no innocent children or not-so-innocent manju buns in the immediate area. That confirmed, he silently approached Fai and grabbed the mage by the hips, thrusting his hardening member against him.

" Oh! Oh…" Fai was at first shocked, then pleased, tossing his head over his shoulder to give Kurogane a pretty, pleased smile. Kurogane smiled back and then leaned over the mage, rubbing his chest and intensifying his own grinding. " I was going to ask you what you were… ohhhh… in the mood for, but I guess you've made that clear…" Fai moaned, pushing back seductively against Kurogane's thrusts. " Shall we go to the bedroom?"

" No, right here, right now." Kurogane muttered, snaking his hands around and shoving his hand down Fai's pants, gripping the long, hard length that waited there, roughly jerking it while Fai gasped. It took him a minute to figure how to get the pants down enough to shove a finger from his free hand into Fai's entrance, relishing in the pleased whimpers as he stroked and stretched, then pushing a second in. His own member was throbbing painfully by now and he knew just by the pace of Fai's breath that his rough jerking was leading the wizard quickly to climax. He decided that two would have to be enough and removed them, thrusting as hard as he could to enter into Fai's inviting, warm body. Fai moaned loudly, just as he always did at the first moment of entrance, and Kurogane thrust again, shoving deeper into him. He kept repeating this action until he finally hit that sweet spot, that bundle of nerves that always sent Fai reeling over the edge. And it did, just as always, and Fai climaxed into Kurogane's hand with a practical scream and gasp for breath. Now Kurogane felt free to pursue his own pleasure, which was mounting now that Fai was more in control of his body, remembering to bear down and tighten the pressure around Kurogane's length. Kurogane was now thrusting madly, stroking Fai from within and relishing in the feeling of being encased within Fai's warm body. His climax came suddenly, and he groaned with it as colors exploded in front of his eyes and the world swayed a little. And yet, he felt safe and warm within Fai, so he stayed there, pressing his face against the wizard's shoulder.

" I love you, Kurogane." The words came quietly, but it was as though alarm bells had gone off and sirens had screamed and a whole crowd of monsters had roared in triumph, and something inside Kurogane roared in triumph as well. Those three little words that Fai'd never been able to say before, and the just suddenly came, those three little words that Kurogane had longed to hear, longing to know that the object of his love loved him in return. And now, Kurogane felt, his world was complete. Well, almost.

" I love you too." Kurogane said.

" I know you do. I'm sorry it took me so long. I'm going to get over it, somehow, and maybe then I'll stop hearing his voice." Fai confessed. Kurogane sighed happily, shifting just slightly within Fai.

" Doesn't matter, not important. The past is the past, no matter what happened. No matter how long it took you, you still got there, and that's the important thing." Kurogane said. " And if he comes for you, I'll kill him, simple as that."

" He's strong." Fai said quietly.

" Good. The stronger the better." Kurogane shrugged. " What I'm saying is, he's in the past, it's all in the past, and it's right here and right now that's the important thing. Got it?"

" Got it." Fai giggled a little in agreement. " Um, Kurogane, the kids are going to be back any moment, so…" Kurogane sighed, and pulled out of Fai reluctantly.

" Let's go take a bath." He said, starting off in that direction.

" I wanna go first!" Fai cried, racing ahead. Kurogane grabbed his arm as he tried to pass him.

" Together, you idiot. You think I'm done with you?" he growled.

" Ooh, Kuro-sama, are you gonna play rough?" Fai asked, turning and letting his hand drift down to stroke Kurogane in that area that was rapidly becoming hard again.

" You want me to play rough?" he asked huskily, drawing the mage close.

" You know I like it when you do." Came the response.

And so ensued another rough and wild bout of love-making in the bath tub. And then another later when the kids went out for a walk with Mokona. And another later that night. Kurogane couldn't get enough of Fai, and he knew he never would. But that was okay. He actually kind of liked the idiotic mage, so it was okay.