Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN THE HARRY POTTER CAST, THE WHOLE "AMERICAN IDOL" I DEA, AND THE LYRICS!
Me: Hello and welcome to the first Harry Potter Idol! (audience applauds) Thank you! Thank you! I am you host and one of your judges, Kiwi-san! With me on the judges panel is Alex and Scott! (They stand up and waved to the audience) (audience applauds again) Well, how about we get this party started? (does a little dance, audience claps) (gets off the stage and sites in the middle Scott and Alex)
Harry: (walks out to the middle of the stage) (Harry Potter FanGirls scream) (blushes) Um…hi…I'm Harry Potter. (Fans scream again) I'll be singing "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" by Green Day.
Judges: (nods and the music starts to play)
Harry: (conjures a microphone) I walk a lonely road, the only one that I have even known. Don't know where it foes, but it's home to me and I walk alone. I walk this empty street on the Boulevard of Broken Dreams. Where the city sleeps and I'm the only one and I walk alone. I walk alone. I walk alone. I walk alone. I walk alone. My shadows the only one that walks beside me. My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating.
FanGirls: WE LOVE YOU HARRY! (screams and audience claps)
Me: (waits for the audience to stop clapping) Very good. Interesting song. (Smiles)
Alex: Gods can those girls ever just SHUT UP? (throws a glare at a snickering Kiwi, then looks back at Harry.) Why do I get stuck with the weird ones? (bangs head against table) Okay. That's what you are, okay, BUT WHO THE HECK INVITED THOSE FAN GIRLS? (sigh) (remains quiet)
Me: (pats Alex on the back)
Scott: It was pretty...pretty pathetic...How do you expect to show your face at Hogwarts signing a song like that!(looks to Kiwi) Who ever is next better be good!(Turns to Fangirls) And you...SHUT UP!(Turns back to front stage)
Harry: (walks off stage and passes Ron)
Ron: (walks out to the middle of the stage and smiles. FanGirls scream) Hello…I'm Ron Weasley and I will be singing "I'm Too Sexy".
Me: (is wide-eyed) Oh Lord (music starts to play)
Ron: I'm too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts.
Random Ron Weasley FanGirl: TAKE IT OFF!
Ron: (turns around) So I'll shake my little tush- (music comes to a screeching halt)
Me: Oh please! For all that is holy, please stop!
Alex: (bursts out laughing) y'know, Ron, was it? I don't think I've ever seen something so scary, but then again, in your case it was quite amusing (shrugs) Though I think Kiwi's eyes are paralyzed for life.
Me: (nods)
Scott: (Looking in awe) What...the...F#$! I mean how do YOU expect anyone to look at you like a good boy! I'm surprised your mother isn't up here saying 'Imma Slap you'!(shakes head) It was better than Harry's. Who's Next?
Hermione: (nervously walks onstage) H-Hi. I'm Hermione Granger and I…uh…
Draco: (yells from backstage) Get a move on Granger!
Hermione: (glares at Draco) and I'll be singing "Hollaback Girl" by Gwen Stefani
Judges: (nods and music starts to play)
Hermione: Uh huh, this my shit. All the girls stomp your feet like this. A few times I've been around that track. So it's not just gonna happen like that cause I ain't not hollaback girl. I ain't no hollaback girl. A few times I've been around that track. So it's not just gonna happen like that cause I ain't not hollaback girl. I ain't no hollaback girl. Ooooh, this my shit, this my shit. I heard that you were talking shit and you didn't think that I would hear it. People hear you talking like that, getting everybody fired up. So I'm ready to attack, gonna lead the pack. Gonna give a touch down, gonna take you out. That's right, put your pom-poms down, getting everybody fired up. (music starts to die)
Draco: (wide-eyed) I never thought she's sing something that cusses!
Me: I agree with Draco. Who knew? But I loved it! Let us hope the other judges think so too! (turns to Alex and Scott)
Alex: I would say I have a comment, but I don't think there is any to say. The cussing part doesn't raise your score. (Glares at Scott who is continually laughing) And if we might be able to get that through, your singing talent will be a success.
Scott: (Stops Laughing and hits Alex on the back) That is the best performance I have ever seen tonight...no point in bringing out the other contestants...Hermione should win just for singing that!(Glares back at Alex who is now holding a bat)
Ginny: (walks on the stage with confidence) Hello, I'm Ginny Weasley and I'll be singing "Sometimes" by Britney Spears.
Judges: (Alex and Kiwi nods, Scott screams, and the music starts to play)
Ginny: You tell me you're in love with me, that you can't take your pretty eyes away from me. It's not that I don't want to stay, but everything you come close, I move away. I wanna believe in everything that you say because it sounds so good. But if you really want me, move it slow. There's things about me you just have to know. Sometimes I run. Sometimes I hide. Sometimes I'm scared of you. But all I really want is to hold you tight, treat you right, be with you day and night. Baby all I need is time. (music dies)
Ginny Fans: (yells and screams)
Alex: hmm...so I say something first eh? Well I like your voice really I do, but what's with all the love songs? (sigh)
Me: You have a lovely voice…but I agree with Alex, what is up with all the lovey-dovey?
Scott: (uncurls from ball position) Is that shit over! That is the WORST song I have EVER heard! And you missed half the notes, making it sound worse! Get the F#$ off the stage, you little slut!
Ginny: (Runs offstage, crying, as Draco walks on)
Draco: (smirks and winks at all the pretty girls out in the audience)
Draco FanGirls: (screams and faints)
Draco: I can not believe you decided to make me go last (glares at the judges) Anyway, I'm Draco Malfoy and I will be singing "Bad Boys"
Judges: (nods and music plays)
Draco: Bad boys bad boys, whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when they come for you? Bad boys bad boys, whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when they come for you? (music dies)
Me: That was interesting…(blinks)
Alex: WHO DO YOU THINK THE HECK YOU ARE? SOME KIND OF BAD ASS? GET OFF THE STAGE! NO GET OUT THE BUILDING! (trying to get up, but Scott's holding me back)
Me: (looks at Draco) No, just go back stage after Scott here judges you.
Scott: GET THE F$# OF THIS PLANET! I DON'T CARE WHERE YOU GO! THAT WAS EVEN WORSE THAN GINNY'S. YOU ARE MOST POSIBLY THE WORST SINGER EVER...WHY YOU ARE HERE, I DON'T KNOW. JUST LEAVE! Kiwi...
Me: (gets onstage) Hello! Well, that was an amusing first round of the semi-finals wasn't it? Well, let's give around of applause for the contestants. (room is filled with claps, then after a moment, dies) Ok, contestants, come onstage so we can decide who will venture to the finals! (sits back down at the Judge's Table) (contestants walk onto the stage) Harry potter, please step forward.
Harry: (nervously steps forward)
Me: You sung "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" by Green Day. I personally love Green Day, but that doesn't change whatever I say. But, you sung wonderfully, so I say yes…Alex?
Alex: (shrug) You sang alright, just keep practicing, okay twinkle toes? I say…yes (watches as Harry nods)
Scott: I vote for you to move to the next round...but practice...hot stuff.
Me: Congratulations! You move on to the next round! Please step offstage to your right. (Fans scream and clap)
Me: Ron Weasley, step forward
Ron: (takes a step forward)
Me: (lets out a breath) Where to begin…oh…that was completely horrible. I never thought I…d ever see anything so horrible…I say no. Alex?
Alex: Considering you creeped out the whole audience, I think that would be a no.
Scott: Could be a LOT better...but I think you can do better. Yes.
Me: Sorry Ron, but you failed to impress the majority of the judges, so no, you don't move on. Please step offstage to the left. (Ron Fans scream and shout and glared and all leave the auditorium)
Me: Hermione Granger
Hermione: (steps forward, shaking like a leaf)
Me: I love your song and you surprised us all by singing it like a pro. I say yes…Alex?
Alex: Except for your cussing your song was okay, but just know that cussing doesn't raise your score. I don't want you to think that if you cuss in every song, that everybody will like it. I say…yes
Scott: B-A-N-A-N-A-S...I say a definite Y-E-S.
Me: Congratulations! You move on to the next round! Please step offstage to your right. (Fans scream and clap)
Me: Ginny Weasley
Ginny: (steps forward bravely, like a true Gryffindor)
Me: Interesting choice of song. But…you weren't good enough. I feel like you can do a lot better. I say no…Alex?
Alex:Y'know, I don't know what to think. The part of it being a love song is not original. You have a good talent, but you didn't put forth the effort. Try somewhere else. Sorry, but that's a no.
Scott: Sorry...no.
Me: Sorry Ginny, but you failed to impress judges, so no, you don't move on. Please step offstage to the left. (Ginny Fans scream and shout and glared and all leave the auditorium)
Me: And last, but no least, Draco Malfoy.
Draco: (sneers at the 'Anti-Draco' fan club and steps forward)
Me: (shakes head, highly disappointed) You didn't even sing anything. You just repeated yourself twice. I still love you, but no…Alex, what do you think?
Alex: (turns to 'Anti-Draco' fans) CAN I JOIN? PLEASE? I would gladly join! THAT'S A NO!
Me: Calm yourself a little Alex. (smiles weakly at Draco)
Scott: (starts to fume) NEVER WILL YOU MOVE ONTO THE NEXT ROUND. GO BACK TO BEING A DEATH EATER, YOU SCUM! Kiwi...the results? (starts calming down)
Me: Sorry Draco, but you failed to impress any one of the judges, so no, you don't move on. Please step offstage to the left. (Ron Fans scream and shout and glared and all leave the auditorium)
Me: (gets up on the stage) Will Harry Potter and Hermione Granger please come and stand on either side of me? (Harry and Hermione come back onstage and stand next to me.) Ladies and Gentlemen! These two wonderful singers will be going on the first round of the finals in a couple weeks...er…at least as soon as the next 2 rounds of the semi-finals are over with! Hehehehe. Until our next show, this is Harry Potter Idol over and out!
A/N: Hello all of my reviewers, if you are reading this, then you have probably laughed real hard. Alex and Scott are two of my friends. They actually gave me their own responses. Without them, this wouldn't be funny at all, so I give a special BIG THANKS for helping me with this.
This is my first humor fic so…I hope you all like it! Hehehehehhe Please review and tell me what you think! Hehehehe Don't worry, there's only mild cussing in this. As you can tell, we're not saying the 'F word' but this story will remain T rated, just in case.
Here's on the next Harry Potter Idol:
Pansy
George
Fred
Percy
Lucius
I wonder how funny this will be? Tune in next time for the next chapter…did that make any sense? Whatever
Alex says "GET OFF MY STAGE!" (quacks and turns around to get stuffed fish out of boxes and throws them at the audience.)
Kiwi