Little Lady
by: thegloryfades
In order to attend a prestigious all-boys school of magic, Lily Evans disguises herself as a boy. Things start to get interesting when the Marauders take her under their wing, however Potter realizes there is more to her then meets the eye.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter was single-handedly created by J.K. Rowling, and not me! Darn!
Sunday 31 August -
My name is Lily Anna Evans. Before we embark on this magical journey, let's get this straight. I am not a cross-dresser or any other type of perverted ideas you can fathom! I am simply a seventeen year old girl who has found need to further her education at only the best - Hogwarts School of Wizardry.
Get it?
Got it?
Good.
You may presume that I am self-absorbed, ignorant, silly teenage girl who doesn't pay any mind to the world around her. But see, I do! I care a lot. I just don't like what I see. There's this nut job Voldemort rising to power who wants to purge the world of all but purebloods. What a wanker. As far as the muggle world goes, they have this thing called the Cold War, or the my-nuclear-weapons-stock-pile-is-bigger-than-yours war. Basically, the United States of America and the U.S.S.R are having a contest to see who can horde more nuclear weapons. There is actually no fighting in this war, just the everyday panic that a bomb is going to come down on your town and blow it up in all its white picket fence glory.
More wankers.
But this is Britain, and I am Lily.
I am a good girl. I get fantastically excellent grades, always keep myself tidy, never act as anything other than a lady, and I always eat my veggies. If you know anything about anything you will know that the latter of that statement was a phenomenal lie.
Normally, I would go to a girls school. I had gone to a girls school for six years now: L'Académie des dames de Magie. No, I'm not French, but the school headmistress was French. The headmistress reminded us on countless occasions that calling the school by any other name was 'seemply unexcepteeble'
Insert French accent.
Stupid old bat. I myself was rather fond of the name nickname we had given it.
Beauxbatons.
Doesn't that sound much nicer? Much more feminine? The public would be thanking us for something that didn't turn their tongues into mushy baby food. Ick! I mean, parents try and shove that stuff into their young, blossoming children's mouths without realizing that the airplane and choo-choo sounds could do serious psychological damage to the tots aside from the taste bud casualties.
All the more reason to change the name.
If I do say so myself, Beauxbatons describes the school population quite well. We're well known for rich girls, snobby attitudes and always being prim. However, I am the wolf in sheep's clothing. Everyone else at school was blessed with grace, height, blonde, brown, or my personal favorite, black hair. Me? Nooooo. No, no, no and nein. I am a fully-fledged klutz. I am at 5'4". (at least I am nicely slender!) I had to have vibrant, slightly-lighter-than-apple red hair. If you don't understand how much I stick out because of that, think a sole red apple in a basket of green ones. Think pink robes among Ireland's Quidditch team.
Get my drift?
The powers that be have at least compromised me and gave me sleek hair. It falls just below my shoulders. I am proud to be frizz free!
Perhaps the only other notable and worthy quality I have are my eyes. I hit the genetic lottery with my eyes. They are this energetic, misty green. I have no idea what I did in a past life to deserve these eyes, but it must have been good.
Tomorrow I leave for Hogwarts School of Wizardry. I can just imagine what a show that would be if I boarded the train looking like I do now:
A girl.
So today it is my task to assume creating a brilliant disguise.
Ooh. I don't want to change my eyes.
I think the Headmaster would be okay with that. What a cool beans guy Professor Dumbledore is. He actually though it was honorable that I wanted to go to Hogwarts even though I lacked the male-ness that is usually associated with males. (I think you all know what I mean) And he was flattered because I believed it was the most prestigious didactic school in all of England and simply found my proficiency deficient at all other institutions.
Take out all those big words and you what I really meant: I think private girls schools are overrated and are simply geared to get even the ditziest of girls shining degrees to present to society with a fake smile so they can get some rich bloke to be their husband and never have to lift a finger to do any work.
Yes! Lily Anna Evans actually plans to work for a living!
So, that's how I ended up enrolled at Hogwarts. Dumbledore said that I get my own dorm to avoid…indecent situations.
Uh oh. I hear Tunie coming. And…
I didn't bother to back my Hogwarts things…
Stupid
Stupid
Stupid
You see I haven't actually told anyone about this but myself, the Headmaster and my best friend Alice. Not even my mum! She would blow ten gaskets if she found out. My mum is a 'member of society' and she fully expects me to get a degree, flash a fake smile and marry some rich bloke that will better her on the social ladder.
Yeah right. And Voldemort knits sweaters for all his Death Eaters.
But the point is here, that Tunie will be the perfect squealer to my mum.
Stupid sodding sister.
Later -
I am a bloody genius!
1.) I have successfully deterred my sister's quest to expose me with my immaculate B.S. skills. She is probably explaining to mum and dad right now that I should be landed in the nearest insane asylum, which is better than telling them about Hogwarts. Trust me on this one.
2.) I have come up with the perfect disguise. (With a little help from a spell given to me by Dumbledore) I have altered my height to 6'2" (Not so short now, am I?) My hair is now black! Yes! Black! I have managed to make it quite dishy too. I shortened it considerably to reach normal boy length hair and I have achieved this casual elegance as the hair falls slightly into my eyes. I have to say, I would date me if I wasn't…me. That sounds a bit wrong.
3.) I didn't alter my eyes one bit.
Erm, the bulky-ness of my new look makes me whoosh a bit. I have just went from about 56 kg to about 90 kg. (A/n: For the American chums reading this that is about 123 lbs changing to 195 lbs) Majority of that weight change is muscle.
I was just admiring my change when the rule of Lily kicks in:
If anything can go wrong it will.
I had consequently backed up into the ceiling fan which thwacked me on the back of the head. (My parents never imagined I would attain this height when they had the bloody thing installed) In all the drama I had staggered back and stepped on my sister's cat Fiona whom promptly howled and latched onto/assaulted my leg with her claws. My other leg had simultaneously become tangled in my bed hangings.
I am now in a sodding heap on the floor tangled pretzel-like in bed hangings.
Fiona escaped without a hitch.
Stupid bloody cat.
I hear Tunie screeching. She must have seen Fiona's flattened tail.
Serves her right.
Insert manic grin.
"LILY!" She screeches.
Sacré Bleu! I hide my head under my bedding when she barges into the room.
"Hmm?" Comes my muffled acknowledgement. Good show! Smooth, cool as a cucumber.
"What did you do to poor Lady Fiona?" She shrieked.
Lady Fiona?
Good Lord.
What a slag!
I cannot help that the cat was in the way of my klutzdom!
"Well what does it look like happened?" I snapped.
"Lord Lily! You are such a klutz!" Petunia bit out grudgingly and left (quite snobbishly) with the bang of a door.
I swear, she looks like she swallowed a lemon. She is vair, vair bony! We really look nothing alike. She was graced with height and black hair while I am a moderately short red head as previously discussed.
I am surprised she didn't notice a change in me. I am very surprised….suspiciously surprised…
Oh. SOD!
My voice didn't change with my look!
SOD! SOD! SOD!
I am off to sodding Hogwarts-a-go-go land in less than twenty four sodding hours and I must sufficiently sound sodding male by then.
SOD!
Much, Much Later -
I am all snuggled up in my bed as my normal self pondering the complexities of the universe.
Specifically why I have such a distinct voice. Even the acoustics of the Evans' Estate Grand Loo did not help me.
I suppose I will just have to settle for a light tenor voice. That is the lowest I can manage without choking on air.
After years of going to an all-girls school were manners are more important than IQ, I have developed some girly habits. Then there is also the posture problem among other feminine things.
Sacré Bleu.
Sometime in the wee hours of the morning -
Fiona has decided to play cat and mouse with my feet hanging lifelessly off my bed. I just let her.
The loony Evans matriarch is having one of her midnight tea parties with the ladies of society. I had insisted that if I was ever to make the journey to L'Académie des dames de Magie in the morning without having any stress or dramatic experiences, that I would need sufficient amount of beauty sleep. I also added it would reduce blemishes.
She bought it hook, line and sinker and I get off of 'society duty' scott free.
The old bat is so shallow. There are worse things that can happen to your face. I should conveniently leave one of my advanced potion books open sometime. Her reaction to the disfiguration potions would be hilarious. Bloody hilarious.
I can hear stuffy laughter from downstairs.
Do not roll eyes.
Do not roll eyes.
Do not roll eyes.
I think I'll get some fresh air.
On the Roof -
If I'm not queer enough, one thing I am completely inspired by is the moon which just happens to be full tonight. It can change as rapidly as life and it always shines bright even when there are some clouds.
I want to be like the moon.
Poor werewolves must be having a hard time tonight.
Blimey O'Rilley, what if I was a werewolf? I don't think I could live.
Good thing I'm not.
I sprawl back on the roof and take in a big breath of cool night air. I just realized I haven't thought of an alias for Hogwarts and there is no time like now being under the moon to think of one.
Hmm. I want something that will preserve the integrity of my name.
Lily. Lil-lee. Lee! My first name can be Lee!
Now for a last name. Snave. Bloody hell no. My last name backwards won't work. Hmm
Naves.
Saven.
Vanes!
Same letters as Evans. Close enough.
It's official.
I am now Lee Vanes.
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