I leaned close to the bathroom mirror and frowned at my reflection. I tentatively prodded my now yellow-green bruise, and winced. Still hurt. I looked like a joke, all dressed up in my best again, with that toxic-colored shiner. Well, what could I do? No concealer in 1899. Also, no air conditioning, refrigerators, CD players, cars, sneakers… the list went on and on. I stepped away from the mirror and started to sweep my hair into a ponytail, a frown still marring my face. The year 2000 had been on my mind all that day, and the day before, even when I was picketing or eating or playing cards with the boys. I'd always known I'd have to return eventually. But 'eventually' had always felt so far off before… That was why I felt this afternoon had to go just right.
I snapped the elastic around my hair just as I heard the knock at the door. "Come in," I called, knowing it would be Race, as expected. I double-checked my appearance in the mirror before going to meet him in the room.
"So what's dis about?" he asked, hands in his pockets. As per the note I had delivered that morning, he was dressed sharp, his hair smoothed back and everything.
"You'll see," I said, picking my purse up from the dresser. "Come on."
"Hey, how's your shinah t'day?" he asked, stopping me to peer at it.
"Gross," I said, "but at least it hasn't migrated."
"Uuuh?" he said, my Newsies humor lost on him as usual. Aww. Poor little lost boy.
"What do I always tell you, Race?" I asked. "When I make my cryptic comments, you have to just ignore them or you'll hurt yourself trying to figure them out!"
He crossed his eyes to emphasize his dopeyness and I patted his head patronizingly.
"It's okay," I cooed. "Now come on." I caught him by the sleeve and pulled him along after me. "We can't be late."
"Late for what?"
"It's a supriiiise!"
He frowned, hating my intentional ambiguity. "Good surprise or bad surprise?"
"Good surprise. I promise."
He grumbled but followed me as I led him through the streets. I'd gotten quite proud of the navigation skills I'd developed in the past week, and managed to get lost only four times.
"Wheah are you takin' me?" Race complained when we turned back for the—okay, fifth time.
"Just trying to confuse you. Don't want you to figure it out so soon!"
Thankfully, though, from then on I managed to stay on the right track the rest of the way to the races—which was, of course, where we were destined all along. Didn't forget the plans I was making Wednesday, did you?
"Now shut your eyes," I told him stupidly as we neared the track.
"Shut my eyes! Wit your sense a direction? No t'ank you, I'd end up in da Gulf a Mexico!"
"I get the point, I get the point. I think you know where we're going by now anyway."
"Yeah, I do… Can't say I know what's so special 'bout da track, though."
"You'll see!"
We finally arrived at the tracks and I pulled him up to his present—
"A private box!" he marveled, his jaw dropping.
I crossed my arms and squeezed myself in a hug. "You like it?"
"Oh wow…" he was all over the room, touching the velvet cushions on the chairs, the elegant ashtray, the glass decanters of water, the complimentary imported cigars open in a box on a table. "Dis is… You didn't, Margaret!"
"Okay, I didn't. I mean, it's not permanent—nobody's got that kind of money. But I knew you wanted it, and I wanted to get you a present." A going-away present, I thought, but didn't speak aloud. Not yet.
"Well it's great!" he said, tearing his eyes away from the room's furnishings long enough to grin at me. "Hey, c'mere." He grabbed me and wrapped me in a hug, and I knew the afternoon was going to go just as I planned it.
We whooped and skipped on our way home, unable to keep our feet from running ahead. The moon lit up the street, casting our dancing shadows over the cobblestones, and the night air was cool and fresh against my skin. "We're rich!" I cried out to the stars, spinning in the street.
Race caught me and covered my mouth. "What are you tryin' ta do, get us robbed?"
I laughed and pulled away. "Sorry! I'm just so hyper!" I took off twirling again and he ran along beside me, laughing at the strange looks I was receiving from the few passersby.
"Well I feel da same way but I ain't shoutin' it to da woild," he told me.
I giggled, slowing. "This is so much fun though… Watch out, Race, you may have made a gambler out of me! Does it always feel this good to win?"
"I wouldn't know," he said with a grin, walking backwards in front of me. "I nevah do. You must be good luck." He stopped right in my path and I almost bumped into him. He was standing so close, I felt a blush spread across my cheeks.
"Only one of my many talents!" I joked lamely, and hurried to start walking again. He fell in alongside me, flipping a coin as he walked.
"So what's da plans for da rest of da night? We could catch a pictcha show at dat new theatah downtown, if you want."
"Um, actually, I have something I have to do tonight," I said.
"What's dat?"
We had come to an intersection and I happened to glance up at the sky. "Oh, wow," I said, stopping to look above me.
"What?"
"You see that? In New York, in my time, you can't see the stars."
"Whattya mean 'you can't see da stars'?"
"I mean," I said, "you can't. Not really. There's buildings, and pollution, and electric lights. And you just can't see them. But here… I mean, now…" I trailed off and continued to stare straight up. Beside me, Race did the same, perhaps imagining a day when the stars would be obscured. I linked my arm through his and stood there for I don't know how long before we started walking again.
"Anyway, what was it you haf ta do?"
"Um. Well, tonight I want to go home."
"Well dat's fine too," he said easily enough.
I stared at him, flabbergasted. I'd spent so long figuring out how to break it to him gently, and he reacts like this? I expected… I don't know what I expected, but certainly not this calm, casual acceptance. He wasn't even looking at me! "You're not upset or anything?"
"No, not at all. If you gotta go home, I understand. We probably did enough today anyway."
"Hunh," I said to myself, somehow feeling a little offended. He continued chattering though.
"We could maybe see if Blink an' Mush wanna play some cards… Of course dey'll ask for Go Fish as usual but maybe you could get a pokah game or two outta dem."
"What?"
"What what?"
I stopped him. "Race, I'm not talking about going to the lodging house. Or my apartment either," I added quickly, to prevent future misunderstanding. "I meant home home. Future home."
He gaped at me. "What? What for? How? Why now?"
"I'm sure there's a good answer to each of those questions," I said carefully, "but, ah, I don't know them. It's just…I don't know, it just feels like tonight's the time. I'm sorry, I don't mean to—"
"No, I undahstand," he interrupted. "I knew you'd want ta go home sometime. I just t'ought you might stay more'n a week, dat's all."
"I wish I could."
"You can."
I rubbed my shoulder and sighed. "Then you really don't understand."
"I'm sorry, Margaret," he said after a time. "I didn't mean ta make ya made at me."
"I'm not mad."
"Well, upset. Come on, let's at least try ta stay on good terms for dis last night."
"Okay," I said, and hugged him again. Then we continued back to my apartment, where I finished through with my plan.
"You're in charge of these," I said, handing him the bag full of the presents. "They're all labeled, who they go to."
"Aw, Margaret, you didn't have ta do dat," he protested, peeking into the bag.
"I just wanted to. There are messages, too, on this paper here. Tell Blink good luck with the fishmonger's daughter, and after tomorrow, let Jack know it's okay to dump Sarah."
"Dump Sarah? What would 'e do dat for?"
I smiled as I thought back to my conversation with Jack in the lodging house, before the mess with the rally and everything. "She's a nice goil an' all," he'd said, "but I dunno if she's my type. Pretty, shoah, but I don't think she's got much up heah." He'd tapped his head to demonstrate. Yes! I thought, then No!
"You don't mean that, Jack," I said desperately. Oh yes, he does. "I think you're judging her a little too soon."
"Yeah, you think so?" he said, leaning his elbow against the banister. "Maybe so. I think she likes me."
"Oh, she does. I can tell. So it's only fair to give her a chance. You know, a few days or something." Yuck. A girl could make herself sick talking like that.
Jack nodded, looking thoughtful. What a change from his usual expression, I observed. "Yeah, I think you're right," he said. "I'll see how it woiks out. See ya latah, Margaret." He strolled over to the poker game, hands in his pockets, and I let out a huge sigh of relief. Somebody up there was certainly proud of me, that I knew. It was so hard not to give into temptation when it was so, well, tempting. But I'd done what I had to do, and I guessed that living with a bad taste in your mouth is better than screwing up the entire Newsies universe.
"'Ello, Margaret?" Race asked, tapping my forehead and snapping me back from space-out land.
"Oh, sorry. Happy memories. Anyway, all that's in that bag. Now I just need to get changed."
"What for? You look nice."
"Well, I can hardly show up back in 2000 in this getup. I'd stick out a mile—okay, maybe it takes more than this to stick out in New York, but my mom would certainly notice." I didn't fill him in on one key factor of my planned century-changing: as I really had no idea how this time travel stuff would work, my best plan was to recreate the night I left as accurately as I could. I had re-packed my purse and located the dress and shoes, and I left him with the bag as I changed in the bathroom.
When I emerged, once again wearing my revealing black-and-white dress, Race made a big show out of covering his eyes. "I won't look," he said, staggering backwards blindly. "You ain't decent!"
I stuck out my tongue, though he couldn't see, and said, "Fine then. Jacket, please." He handed it over and I tugged it over me as modestly as possible.
"I'm dressed now," I sang, and he finally looked at me. "I don't have much need for this anymore," I said, shoving the nice red dress into his arms, "so, do whatever you can with it. Let one of the guys indulge his secret fantasies or something."
"What!?"
"Oops," I said sheepishly. "Did I say that last part out loud?" I quickly changed the subject. "And that looks like about it… Shall we go?"
He dumped the stuff on the bed, to pick up later, and made me wait in the hallway as he settled my account with the hotel's proprietor, for decency's sake. "I'm not naked, you know," I hissed at him when we started out into the street.
"You're shoah close enough," he retorted. "Would you keep dat jacket buttoned?"
I laughed and called him an old fussbudget, and just for good measure, stole his hat and swatted him with it before slipping it on. "Well, lead the way, Jeeves. Show me back to where you first found me."
As I followed him back to the site of the 2000 theater, I recognized the route. How could I not? I'd been rapturously observing every detail at the time. Now, I again kept my eyes glued to the scenery, stocking up on mental photographs. In a moment, though, I realized it wasn't going to be the 1899 atmosphere I missed, but the friends I'd made. I'd wanted so much to visit them to say goodbye, but I didn't trust myself to stick to my convictions in the face of twenty beautiful boys begging me not to go. One, I thought I could handle. Hoped I could handle. Or didn't. No, damnit, don't get teary-eyed yet. There was going to be plenty of time for that if the good-byes were as long and drawn-out as I expected them to be.
"Heah we are," Race said, stopping in front of a darkened storefront. "Well, now what?"
"Um, really, I don't know," I finally admitted. "I guess I just… I dunno. Let it happen." I let out a bright, nervous laugh. "I mean, I don't have a magic telephone booth or a plutonium-powered Delorean handy." The jest died a quick and merciful death as my laughter cut off as swift as a guillotine blade.
"Yeah," Race said, sticking his hands in his pockets and then crossing them over his chest before jamming them back in his pockets.
"Well."
"Well. So, dis is goodbye."
"Yeah," I said, then suddenly grabbed him in a hug. "Thanks for looking out for me," I said, holding him tight, and quickly kissing his cheek. He held me a moment longer before we released and stared at each other again.
"T'anks for everything you did too," he said. "Da races an' all. Hey, come back an' we'll do it again sometime." His eyes twinkled and I couldn't help but grin back.
"Or who knows, maybe you'll be visiting me next time."
"I'd like dat. Still got da racetrack in dat 'year 2000' a yours?"
"I wonder what you'd think of NASCAR," I mused, though I don't follow racing, myself. "Hey, I'd take you to the speedpark."
"I think I'd like dat," he said.
I nodded with a close-lipped smile, feeling my eyes start to prickle. Then we hugged again, and this time when I stepped back he kept his arms around me. My face flushed as he looked at me, then moved closer. At the last second I moved my head and his kiss landed somewhere on my jawline, his nose bumping my ear. We immediately sprang away from each other, avoiding each other's eyes and turning various shades of red.
"Um," I said, studying the run in my hose.
"Er," he said.
Then, "Sorry," we both said, and smiled a little.
I started to step away, but as my lips formed the 'g' of 'goodbye', I remembered something. "Oh yeah, this is yours," I said, pulling off his cap and holding it out to him.
He stared at it a minute like he couldn't remember ever having seen it before, then mumbled a thank you and took it from my hand.
"Well, tell everyone I said goodbye," I said, pushing some hair behind my ears.
"I will," he said.
"So, um, bye."
"Yeah. Bye, Margaret." He looked at me just a minute more before turning and walking away.
I faced the opposite direction and chewed a hangnail, feeling a little sick to my stomach. Well, there was nothing I could do. I started walking down the sidewalk, trying to push Race and all the others from my mind and concentrate on the 21st century. I'd go back home, and live a normal life again, and keep nothing of this experience but one helluva wild story to tell. No, better not to tell. Everyone would think I was crazy, and I knew now that I wasn't.
Wait a minute. I halted in my tracks. I really was crazy. Racetrack wanted to kiss me and I was leaving?? That's the sort of thing you can get committed for! Forget the 21st century. 1899 was where I belonged. I spun in my heels and took off.
"Race, wait!" I yelled after him. I couldn't let him get away, not when he was so close! I started jogging after him, my purse bouncing against my thigh and my black strappy sandals threatening to let me topple. "Racetrack!"
He turned the corner and I was afraid I would lose him, so I put on an extra burst of speed and followed, right on his heels. I slammed into somebody's back and went flying, knocking my victim off balance.
I grabbed his arm to help him up. "I changed my mind," I said immediately. This is no time for apologizing. "I'm staying here."
"What are you talking about?" he asked, pulling his arm out of my grasp and adjusting the sunglasses I had knocked askew.
"Race?" My knees went weak and something cold blossomed in my stomach. Oh, no, please…
"Oh, so you're a Newsies fan," Max said knowingly, looking over his shades at me. He picked my playbill and pen off the ground and scrawled a lazy signature. "There ya go," he said, sticking it in my shaking hand and stepping off the curb towards a waiting cab. I stood silent on the sidewalk, a stream of people flowing around me, and watched him go, my eyes threatening to spill tears. I dropped my gaze to the ground and wiped my eye—wait. What was that?
"Wait, your hat!" I said, reaching down and picking up his cap. "Mr. Casella, your hat?" I took three quick steps toward him, but the car door slammed shut and the taxi pulled off into the busy New York traffic. This time, I couldn't keep the tears from rolling over onto my cheeks.
I drew the back of my hand across my eyes and felt the tears smear sticky and hot. Well, I really screwed it up this time. Anyone who couldn't see that one coming from a mile (or at least a block) away deserves to be shot. So why couldn't I?
"Margaret! Margaret!" My mother was calling my name. I wiped at my eyes hard and turned around. She was heading down the sidewalk toward me, my little brother tagging along behind her. So, it was over for real. My eyes were still blurry with tears when I glanced down at the hat that hung limply from my fingers. I breathed in sharply as I saw that this was not the blue ballcap Max Casella had been wearing. This was a newsies cap, and a familiar one. With cold fingers, I turned it inside out and saw, scratched in the brim, the clear block printing of Racetrack's name.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
House lights up, cue the theme song, and roll the credits. (Nyaah, nyaah, my fic has a theme song!) S Club 7's "Never Had a Dream Come True"Everybody's got something they had to leave behind,
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time
There's no use looking back, oh wondering
How it could be now, oh might have been
Oh this I know, but still I can't find ways to let you go
I never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you
Somewhere in my memory I've lost all sense of time
And tomorrow can never be 'cause yesterday is all that fills my mind
There's no use looking back, oh wondering
How it should be now, oh might have been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go
I never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be
You'll always be the dream that fills my head
You'll always be the one I know I'll never forget,
There's no use looking back, oh wondering
Because love is a strange and funny thing
No matter how I try and try I just can't say goodbye, no no no no
I never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you
A part of me will always be with you.