The one thing Sakura noticed after taking the entire compound in was the atmosphere: tense. Panicked. Urgent. Directly behind the platform a line of radio operators were talking frantically with codes and taking orders. The lines of tanks that were at the edge of the compound were being dismantled and broken apart as fast as possible. Another line of old public transport buses behind them were being filled with supplies and soldiers.

The most unexpected thing about it was the fact that none of these soldiers, operators or medics looked like soldiers, operators or medics. They were all in their street clothes. The soldiers simply had Mk-47's draped over their shoulders. The operators had headsets. The medics wore simple armbands bearing a large red cross. The lack of visual unity but the extreme presence of supreme organization was the most confusing thing she had ever seen. The United Nations were the complete opposite – they all looked the same and their jobs were recognizable, but every action needed to be approved by their higher-up. If the UN were doing whatever these soldiers were doing, it'd be mass chaos.

It wasn't until Li opened the car door on her did she snap out of it. She had been leaning so far out the window that the sudden give of it would have sent her flat on her face – that is, if Li wasn't waiting to catch her. She fell against him and the amazement of new surroundings fell once again to her infection. Her fever hit her like a punch in the face; her arm was so numb she couldn't lift it if she tried; and her vision was getting blurry.

Li scooped her up out of the car seat at the same moment that a few of those soldiers ran up to them. Two of them had on the medical armbands. "You said you needed assistance?" one asked.

"She's been infected by a Pymetrian, just over an hour ago," Li answered without missing a beat. "He's dislocated his shoulder, and the kid has some cuts and scrapes."

"An hour ag- shit. C'mon!"

Everything started to blank out now. The infection was spreading too fast. Sakura's head began to roll into Li's shoulder over and over again, and it took a moment to realize they were running. Li was talking to her, but she could barely hear, let alone answer. She was trying to focus on staying awake.

She was lying on a bed – no, an itchy, canvas cot. The back of the scissors were cold as they brushed against her skin as the bandage was cut off. Someone asked if she had certain allergies. Touya answered. Her breath started to grow more rapid as the infection came closer to her heart: in a desperate attempt to fight the infection it pumped faster, harder than before. She began panting, feeling the burn rush up her arm and into her chest. It was such a fire, a torch to her nerve, making her feel sick and rotting after it touched her nerves. Her mouth opened and she let out a shout of agony. Kero sobbed. The medics began speaking frantically. Someone grabbed her hand. And something poked her arm once ... twice ... three times.

And it was going away.

Her heart calmed, the burning cooled ....... and she blanked out.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

. If this were a novel, there would be a page break here. As there is not, we have annoying (.) till I say "go" :P

.

.

.

.

.

8------------------------------8

"FUCK!"

.... only to wake up ten minutes later.

Sakura opened her eyes fully with a snap. She saw the roof of a green canvas tent. It was dark under there, but not too dark to work. After entering the compound in a daze she was suddenly very aware of her surroundings.

Whatever was injected into her skin was spreading quickly over the infection, like a cold shower on a sweltering day. She blinked a few times to clear her vision.

To her right Touya was sitting on the cot, shirtless, while one medic held him steady and the other finished popping his shoulder back into place. He was cursing them left and right but they looked like they weren't even listening to him. She lowered her gaze. Kero, who was whimpering at her bed side, let out his own bawl of relief when her eyes met his.

"That worked quick."

Another medic sat down on the other side of her bed, causing her to turn her head ... and suddenly felt a little woozy from doing so. She paused, humming to herself in regret over the action, and looked up at the medic, the same one who had injected her earlier. Behind him stood Li, his tense shoulder's finally relaxed, and she realized he was the one who spoke.

The medic laughed. "Well, we did give her three times the recommended dose. I wouldn't sit up for a while, honey."

Sakura closed her eyes for a moment and nodded very slowly. "That's a good idea," she mumbled. She began to watch the medic wrap a new bandage on her arm, and then at Li who was standing beside him. All of her senses were coming back to her: it felt like she had been asleep for the last hour and had no recollection of what happened. Except, when she stared up at Li's face her eyes gazed at his lips and remembered his sudden kiss ... and with that she drew her head away. Thankfully Kero bawled again and she could focus on him.

She smiled empathetically at the crying toddler, and patted his head with her good hand. "It's okay, Kero. I'm sorry for scaring you."

He sniffled. "Don't do that again."

She nodded and managed to smile at him. "Yes, sir."

Li turned to Touya. "She'll be fine – get your arm checked out-"

"SYAORAN?!"

The boy nearly jumped and turned in the direction of the shout. Sakura attempted to sit up to see who it was, but the doctor – and the sudden realization that her bad arm now had the consistency of jello – told her to stay put for a while. She didn't need to sit up – a girl, who had to have been running at full speed, came into her peripheral vision and hugged Li tightly. And for the first time since their journey started, Li was smiling.

"Chiharu!" he exclaimed, hugging her back enthusiastically.

"You dumbass!! Where the fuck were you?!" She cried into his shoulder.

Sakura blinked in confusion ... and to her disappointment her mind wanted to know who this girl was, and what she meant to Li. She bit her lip in frustration afterward.

The girl, Chiharu, slid down from holding his neck as Li answered. "Never mind that – what's the status on Ottawa?"

The girl was pretty; she had chocolate brown eyes and two ponytails hanging out from beneath an old cap. She seemed to be wearing an engineer's jumpsuit, covered in grease and other stains that Sakura couldn't identify. But despite her beauty, her face fell at Li's question.

"Oh god – they have to have cloaking devices, they have to! Every other attack has been from the sea, we've been able to see them coming, but this was out of nowhere! Even if it was from the north, one of the stations in Manitoba should have picked it up!"

"Chiharu," Li spoke sternly, placing his hands on her shoulders. "Focus. Ottawa."

Her face hadn't fallen before – now it had. "Oh Syaoran," she nearly teared up. "It's gone. It's burning, all of it. You can see it from the surface. "

Li's eyes widened. Touya's mouth gaped before saying, "What?! Ottawa before New York?! Or even Atlanta?! "

Chiharu nodded to him before staring back at Li. "It's the most northern attack so far. Everyone up here was too relaxed. If we had the same defence here as we do in New York or Seattle-"

Li squeezed the hands on her shoulders. "Chiharu, it wouldn't have made a difference. They would've reached it regardless."

After a moment, she nodded slowly, biting her lip. Li's hands slid down her arms before falling to his sides. "What are we doing here?"

She was silent for another moment, composing herself. When she looked back up Sakura recognized that same calm, determined look that she sees in Li's eyes so often. "Evacuating. We were far too close for this, and you know the military's going to move in and try to establish some kind of base or fortress or whatever. We depart at 0800."

Li nodded. "I see. Where'd you get the buses?"

Chiharu shrugged. "We've got some guys. It's military procedure to evacuate citizens in public transit buses – we figured we'd need these somewhere down the line, so we got a few." Before Li could as his next question, she answered it for him. "We're heading to Montreal."

"Good. Toronto will be over flooded with survivors and personal, and it'll just be the next target. Mind if we catch a ride?"

"Of course ... that is, if you explain what's going on," she peered around the boy to stare at Sakura, Touya and Kero with a quirked eyebrow and a smile. "Quite the band of traveling players you have, here."

Li sighed, running his hand through his hair. "It's a long story. And top secret."

"You're atoning for your sins by playing bodyguard."

The pair of old friends stared down at the girl on the bed. Sakura, who had been resting her eyes, looked up to see him glaring and Chiharu staring at her with wide eyes. "You said it was a long story. I just made it a short story."

Li glared at her, but Chiharu grinned. "Oh, I like her."

Once every cut and scrape had been taken care of, the only thing the trio could do was wait. They had nothing to pack, none of them were really in the right shape (nor had the knowledge) to dismantle the tanks or help medically ... they simply had to sit. And wait.

Sakura pulled her new sweater tighter around her body. Kero sat beside her, head down, still sniffling here and there. He hadn't exactly stopped since they'd found him. But he had at least becoming quieter, less constant, and he wasn't talking much.

Touya's arm was in a sling for the moment, letting his shoulder settle after being reset. He watched the crowds wander back and forth aimlessly, not saying anything to his sister.

All the silence was giving Sakura too much time to think ....

8----------------8

8----------------8

I know it's because none of us know what we're doing. I know that we're all a little medically handicapped and won't be of much use anyway. I know that.

But I feel completely fucking useless right now.

My eyes wander over to a group of girls my age on the far side of the compound. Chiharu is with them. They're sorting out the crates of food, perishables, non-perishables, things that can be with the crowds on the bus, things that need to be frozen in the portable coolers ...

I bit my lip. Would I even know how to do that?

I know how to dress for a spring ball. I know how to dress for a winter ball. I ... I think I know how to sew a button. I know how to properly greet foreign dignitaries from France, Africa and London. I know how to write an invitation for a dinner party.

My life is such a ... novelty.

My eyes started to burn again and I desperately wanted to choke back tears. If I wanted to look as pathetic as possible, I would cry freely. But not in front of these people. Not like this.

Chiharu suddenly sat on my other side. "You should go look outside."

I had to swallow before I could ask. "What?"

"Outside," she said again. She motioned to a nearby corner of the compound. A few people had just walked down the stairs, shaking their heads. "Those stairs take you to the top. You can see the city burn from here. It's not .... amusing in any way, but it's still .... something you need to see."

I gulped. Did I want to see this? I knew I had to get some fresh air. I looked at Touya. He nodded. "Only for a few minutes. "

With that, I stood and crossed to the entryway. Little did I know Li was watching me leave.

8---------------8

I didn't know what I was expecting, persay. It was exactly as the others described it, yet I knew it was a sight I wouldn't be able to block from my memory for a long time.

The burning orange glow in the distance separated the ground and the horizon. A distant fire ... one so massive in scale that we could see it miles upon miles away. That fire had burning homes, burning buildings, burning families –

Just as they had when the first shots were fired in Burns' kitchen, just as they had when I found out I was wounded, my eyes teared up again. I hiccupped as I tried to breathe this time. So much destruction ... I've never felt so pitiful and useless.

"Wow."

The sound of Li's voice made me jump. I turned for a split second to see him walking up the hill, standing about five feet from me. He watched the burning city in the distance. Somehow those eyes of his were cold, unfeeling .... but every once in a while his mouth twitched downwards in regret.

I turned away from him, worried he would see my tears. He didn't notice right away, muttering about how it was the right decision to head east. But I couldn't contain it any more. I hiccupped again, and felt the first of many tears slide down my cheek.

"Are ... " I braced myself when he asked. " ... are you crying again?"

I suddenly felt extreme anger – anger for how I got here today. Angry because I put myself in this mess for the sake of him and he couldn't care less.

"Yes, Li," I said in a loud, breaking voice. "I'm crying. What do you expect I do?"

His shoulders sagged like he was disappointed. "Look, if you cry over something like this how are you going to face the other obstacles-"

"LOOK, LI," I said sternly, causing him to back up for a moment. "I've had a VERY shitty day. I've shamed my father, been ripped away from him, had to KNIFE something, almost died and have just witnessed hundreds of thousands of deaths, and all because I decided to help out ONE PERSON! YOU, Li!! I CAN'T NOT CRY RIGHT NOW. I thought I was doing the right thing but it's leading me on a track to hell! And I'm sorry if it makes you think that I'm PATHETIC or COWARDLY but this is more shit than I've been built to handle! I'm not built to fight, I'm not built to protect something, I'm not built to watch this and feel nothing like you can! The one thing I can do right now is cry, so you just need to let me LET IT OUT and be done with it, alright?!"

By the end of my little speech I was shrieking, almost indecipherably, but I meant every word of it. I couldn't believe I was letting my guard down, but every word was true. I felt so useless, so vulnerable ... I fell to my knees and sobbed.

.

.

.

"I have four sisters."

The randomness of this made didn't even cause me to look up at him.

"And ... in spite of that," he sighed. "I have no idea how to handle a crying woman."

My choking sobs stopped for a moment. Now that kiss from earlier made more sense. I looked up at him. He was ... squirmy. Uncomfortable. Fidgity. He stared me in the eyes, and for once I didn't see that cold soldier. I saw a kid, probably the same kid at home sitting with his sisters when they bawled over who knows what. He looked desperate.

" I can't stand it when women cry," he admitted. " I don't know what to do ... I just ... want it to stop."

I blinked a few tears away. He sat down beside me, and suddenly the stress of the day seemed to take over him. His shoulders sagged, his head in his knees, tired, quiet.

I stared at his sunken head for a moment. He was really hung up on this?

"So ... please. Please stop." He mumbled pleadingly.

And silly as it was, my tears slowed, and I was a lot quieter. I hadn't completely dried up, and was still hiccupping, but I was in a better state than I was a few moments ago. "Whuh .... " I started, but then sat quietly again to compose myself and wonder. What did I want to ask? I couldn't take my eyes off that messy brown hair.

"Why can't you ... stand it?"

He raised his head, looking haggard. But he didn't face me. "Because ... it makes me want to fix whatever's wrong. But crying won't tell me what's wrong. Words do." Now he looked me in the eye – a look so unintentionally fierce it scared my hiccups away. "So tell me."

Now I looked away quickly. In this state, locking in on his gaze would only make me blubber – from incoherency or sobs. Either way, it wouldn't be good. I stared ahead at the orange horizon.

"It's a lot of things." I said.

"Give me one." He mumbled.

"... I feel useless."

"How so?"

His voice was becoming sturdier again.

" ... sitting in that room with nothing to do ... I guess ... when I was at home, I was useless and bored. And that boredom got me here. Now, again, I am useless. Not bored. But it's still bad. "

He sighed. "Sakura, there's one thing you could be doing."

"What?"

He turned towards me, and this time I had to look him in the eye. "When I was younger, my sisters cried a lot because our parents were killed. And they kept on crying because we didn't have someone to hold us, dry our tears or tell us that things would be alright."

My jaw dropped open and I gaped at him like a goldfish. His parents were killed?! Why hasn't this come up before?! Was this why he was so cold all the time? He didn't have any other way?

Thankfully he ignored my gaping gaze and continued. "But you have a chance of being that person for someone, Sakura," he told me. "Someone else who's just lost their dad."

I bit my lip. Who had lost their dad? ..... oh. Oh god.

I jumped to my feet and ran back inside before he could say anything else.

8---------------------8

8---------------------8

Now that he looked at them, his sneakers were scuffed worse than usual.

Kero stared down at them, not in sadness but in boredom. They were old, almost worn out, but they were his favourite shoes. Converse black hightops, bought from a second-hand store. It was the first time he had ever been in a shop like that, with used things. Dad had always taken him to new stores, but he really wanted him to have Converse shoes. When they found a pair that fit, Dad had told him that the company went out of business from the war, and they didn't make these anymore. But he wanted Kero to have a pair because he had a pair as a kid, too.

Now one of the laces was broken, and the sole was almost torn up. Kero began to sniffle. This was a good day with his dad. And now his shoes were –

Before he could think anything else, Sakura rounded the corner, panting heavily from running. Touya was sitting up to scold her for overexerting herself when she was injured, but her green eyes locked onto Kero. He stared up at her, confused. Suddenly she ran forward, fell to her knees and hugged him tightly.

"It's okay, Kero," she whispered in his ear. "It'll be okay now, alright? But you can cry if you want – it's okay to cry."

Kero stared into her shoulder, and began to sniffle again. He didn't know that Sakura was talking about something else, but he was still focused on what was important.

He sniffled again. "Muh .... my shoe."

Sakura pulled back, staring at him, searching his eyes. Her own were lined with tears. "Your shoe?"

He nodded, biting his lip. "Daddy got them for me."

Sakura looked down at them and noted the broken lace, and then smiled up at him. "Don't worry, hon," she almost laughed. "We'll get you some new laces, okay?"

8------------------------------------8

TBC ................

8------------------------------------8

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW. (i know i sound like a review-ho .... but I kind of am one XD)

Sorry for SUCH a long wait, guys. I hope this makes up for the ridiculously pointless chapter last time!!

Aikou-chan