Ok, This is my (first) attempt at a pointless Hellsing fic. (Or is it my pointless attempt?) Either way, it's meant to be light and, most likely, short. As always, it's a romantic comedy. The pairing is Alucard/Seras. It's not going to have anything worse than a teen rating. All the romantic stuff will be fluff. Right, well, off we go.

Integra: In the name of God, the anime and manga Hellsing will never belong to Ninjamuffin13. Amen.

Rub it in, why don't ya? Chapter time!

Chapter One: Going to the Where?

"Please, Master? Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease?" A young fledgling vampire named Seras Victoria was literally on her knees, begging her master for something.

"Police Girl, if I've said no for the past hour, what makes you believe I will say yes this time?" Sometimes the Police Girl's actions could be just plain confusing.

Seras stood up and looked her master straight in the glasses. "What if I drink my blood?" she was pretty desperate. She hated drinking blood more than most anything.

Her master shifted his head so that he could look at her over his yellow-tinted glasses. "You should be drinking it anyway." he pointed out. Seras let out a disheartened sigh. "But" the tall vampire continued, rising from his seat. "I doubt you'll ever stop your incessant nagging if I don't."

Seras nearly jumped for joy, but managed to keep the urge down. "Thank you, Master!" she cried happily.

"You still must drink your blood, Police Girl." Seras paled slightly at the reminder, but was obedient.

"Yes, master." she turned around and left her master's room, heading for her own. Her footsteps echoed slightly in the halls of the mansion's basement, which was more like catacombs. She opened the heavy wooden door and stepped into her small room. On the table in the center of the room stood her dinner in the form of a pouch of blood in a bucket filled with ice. She shivered slightly at the thought of drinking it.

'I'll just down it before I have a chance to taste it.' she decided. She didn't think it tasted bad, quite the contrary. She loved the taste of it. That's what scared her. It wasn't really all that long ago that she was human herself. She didn't quite believe her plan, though. As a result, she simply stood, rooted in place, staring at the bag.

"Well?" Seras jumped at the sound of her master's voice behind her. She sometimes forgot that he could just teleport wherever he wished. She could delay it no longer. If she didn't drink it now, her master might change his mind. She gingerly ripped open one side of the top and brought it to her lips. Slowly, she tipped the bag and allowed the crimson liquid into her mouth. She closed her eyes and tried not to taste it as she swallowed it in huge gulps. Before she knew it, she had drunk every drop.

She held the bag in front of her and blinked at it for a few seconds before showing it to her master with a triumphant grin. "Look! I drank all of it!"

Her master chuckled for a moment before patting her head. "That's a good girl." he said.

Seras seemed to remember something, then grabbed hold of her master's sleeve and started pulling him out the door. "Come one, master! It'll close if we don't hurry! And we still need to ask Sir Integra!" (Seras had asked her master first because she wanted to leave the hard one until last.)

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"I'm sorry, Officer Victoria. What are you asking again?" Sir Integra Hellsing had stopped listening halfway through the female vampire's request. She was usually quite attentive, but she had a lot on her mind.

"I was asking if I could take Master to the fair." Seras said again.

"The fair? We are talking about the same Alucard, aren't we?"

"Yes, sir."

"I doubt he would want to go to the fair." Integra dismissed the subject.

"I already asked him. He said he'd go!" Seras desperately exclaimed. "Please? Besides missions, I haven't been out of the mansion in weeks!"

Integra sighed. "Alucard and public settings don't mix very well." she recalled one incident, nearly ten years ago, when Alucard had shot a clown. Not that she particularly liked clowns, but it had been a pain to cover up.

"Do you really want him to stay here and get bored?" Seras played her trump card. If there was anything more destructive than Alucard, it was Alucard when he was bored. Integra could only guess at how many thousands of pounds the vampire had cost her because of his boredom.

"Ok, fine! Take him. But, I am holding you responsible for anything he does." Integra commanded and went back to her paperwork.

"Thank you, Sir!" Seras saluted happily and left the office, barely containing her excitement.

Moments later, Integra looked up to see Alucard standing in front of her. "What do you want, Alucard?" Integra asked in a tired voice.

"Why did you grant the police girl's request?" It was obvious that Alucard had been counting on his master to say no.

"I simply thought I'd allow her to take you to the fair. It's not often you get to go out." Integra smiled a sickeningly sweet smile.

"May I remind you of the clown incident?"

"Ah, speaking of that," Integra dropped the smile "If you so much as growl at someone, I will lock you in your room without blood for a month! Now, go have fun at the fair." Her smile was back in place. "That's an order."

Alucard merely shrugged and grinned his psychotic grin, phasing through the floor. Unfortunately for him, he didn't get out in time to miss hearing "And leave your gun with Walter!"

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Meanwhile, Seras was in her room, modeling some non-work clothes in front of her mirror. Yes, vampires reflect. At least in this fic, anyway.

"Oh, I'm going to the fair with Master. Going to the Fair, I know-oh-oh-oh. Going to the fair with Masteeeerrrrr. Get dressed before he shows!" she sang to the tune of 'Someone's in the kitchen with Dina' Having found what she wished to wear, she quickly changed, lest her master walk in on her. He didn't seem to know about knocking.

Knock Knock

Oh, maybe he did. Seras opened the door to see Walter standing there nervously.

"Hello, Walter! What can I do for you?" She cheerily asked.

"Yes, ah, have you seen Alucard, by any chance?" the aging butler asked, shaking slightly.

"Oh, Master should be here any second. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Ms. Victoria. It's just…."

"What?"

"Well, it seems that Sir Integra has asked me to, ah, take Alucard's Jackal." Walter looked around nervously.

Seras' eyes widened. Was that even possible? She had never seen her master without his beloved gun. "Why would she do that?" Seras' voice shook a little.

"It would appear she does not wish to repeat the clown incident." Walter smiled slightly.

"Apparently not." Walter turned around, coming face to face with the vampire in question.

"Alucard, Give me the gun." Walter lost all traces of nervousness. He held out his hand expectantly.

Alucard glared at him for a moment, then shrugged and placed it in the butler's hand. He found immense enjoyment in watching Walter struggle to hold it with just one hand. "Like I would need a gun anyway." It was easy to see that the great vampire was huffing. He looked to Seras. "Shall we, Police Girl?" He asked with a bow.

Seras giggled and squeezed past the still struggling Walter.

And with that, they left. They were going to the fair.

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Ok, so, what do you think? Good, bad? Review and tell me!