By-Product
Part 4
Eileen didn't say anything until she heard Henry's breathing even out, until she saw his hands leave his head out of the corner of her eye. She glanced over once to see if he was okay. He was hunched over in his seat as she drove, hands curled over his knees and fingers digging into the denim.
"Put on your seatbelt," she ordered, returning her attention on the road. No sense in getting killed over this.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him look up and stare at her for a moment, then as if he'd finally understood what she had said, he stuttered, "O-oh, yeah." He pulled the belt across his chest and clipped it in place.
They traveled in silence through two red lights. Neither of them had any idea what to say.
"Alright, what the hell was that!" Eileen finally asked. Her voice was harsher than she would have liked, but he had really scared her back there. She'd never seen him so incensed.
"I… I don't know…" Henry choked out. "That… That's never happened before."
"What did you mean?" Eileen went on. "Everything you said… Was that woman…?"
A few moments of Henry just breathing hard, collecting his thoughts. "I think it was his mother. His real mother."
"How can you know that?"
"I don't know!"
"How can you not fucking know, Henry?" Eileen snapped.
"Look!" he shouted back. "I don't know how this works, okay? Don't start screaming at me! You're not the one with this… this… fucking 'switch' on in your head!"
"You scared the hell out of me!" she hollered. "You should have seen yourself in there!"
"Oh! Oh, I'm really sorry!" he growled sarcastically. "Did I embarrass you?"
"That's not what I meant and you goddamn well know it!"
"Then why are you scolding me as if I have any control over this shit in my head?" He laughed wryly. "Mother Reborn."
Eileen forced herself to not to reply. She clamped her mouth shut, breathed in deeply through her nose. She had to stop at a red light, so she took the opportunity to close her eyes for a moment and calm down. When she opened them again, she kept her gaze on the red light. "Look. We're both… We're both upset."
"I don't see why you're upset," he grumbled, ducking his head and holding a hand over his eyes.
"I'm upset because I'm worried about you," she said calmly. She heard him take in a deep breath, and let it out in a long sigh. "Henry?"
"Yeah?" he whispered.
"I'm sorry."
He didn't say anything for a moment. Then, "Yeah, me too."
The light was green, and she accelerated. "Do you think it means anything?"
He lowered his hand back into his lap and stared straight ahead. "I… I don't think so."
"It just freaks me out, is all," she said. "I mean, his mother, of all people."
"Small world."
She couldn't help her short, weak laugh. "You really gave it to her."
She could see him turn his head toward her out of the corner of her eye. "… She probably deserved it."
Eileen frowned. "She was probably just a stupid kid."
"So?"
"Henry!"
"I'm just not feeling very sympathetic right now."
She could understand that, so she nodded. "But, jeez, his real freaking mom. Just, like… living all this time. I always thought she was… I don't know. I didn't think she was dead, but I never really thought of her as alive--"
"Eileen, could we please just… not talk about this?"
She was going to disagree, but then she realized that there was really nothing of importance to discuss. Only speculation could say that the appearance of the woman meant anything. But it was a fact that he was dead and gone, that she and Henry were safe. Talking about it would only remind them of everything they'd gone through, and at the moment, that was what neither of them needed.
So the rest of the trip home was spent in silence.
They arrived back at Oak Shade Apartments, and Eileen parked her car in the lot outside the building. Henry didn't need any help getting out of the car. They walked around the building and up the main walk in silence. She accompanied him to his door.
She told him to get to bed, to get some sleep, to use the pills if he had to. But she knew he wasn't listening; he was looking at her in that way. Then she was letting him kiss her, sincerely as he always did. She finally pressed her hands against his shoulders and gently pushed him away.
"Eileen," he said quietly before she could walk away or even turn around so she wouldn't have to look at him. "Eileen, I…"
"Henry, don't."
"I don't… I don't want to be alone tonight."
"Don't." Why couldn't he be a total jerk like every other guy in her life? This wouldn't be so hard.
"Eileen. What I said, I didn't mean it. Please. I love--"
"Henry, don't!" She broke eye contact, lowering her head and covering her face.
He put his hands on her shoulders, stroking her shoulder blades with his fingers. "I don't understand. I don't know why it wouldn't work, but if we try again--"
She shook her head, looked him in the eye again. "No. Henry… Henry, it's… It's just not there."
And she could see it there, plainly on his face, that she had crushed him. She couldn't bear it and threw herself into him, wrapping her arms around his back in a hopelessly apologetic embrace.
"Eileen…"
Eileen couldn't help it. She started to cry. Oh, God, she was crying? She was such a selfish bitch. Here she was, breaking his heart again, and she had the gall to cry. "I'm sorry, Henry!" she bawled. "But I just can't be there for you like that! I do love you; you'll always be one of my dearest friends. I can never do enough to repay everything you've done, but…" She caught her breath, held it in, let it out in a long stream. She swallowed hard, let go of his shirt and stepped away. "I just can't," she choked, turning away and looked down at the sidewalk.
Silence. Then Henry said something that was probably "okay" or "alright," but it didn't surface well over the lump in his throat. There was the sound of his door opening and closing. And not long after the rushed rhythm of running footsteps, there was the sound of her door opening and closing too.
That night on the eleven o-clock news there was a small bit about an elder woman. She had committed suicide by stepping into traffic just outside Roland's Crafts. And in an apartment complex in the suburbs, two people stood at their doors with their hands on the knobs, wondering if they should venture out to see each other.
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It's weird not having little notes before and after every chapter. But I guess it's less reading interruption this way.
So this story came about because of three ideas I had. I wanted to do something where Henry and Eileen were just friends. But I also thought it would be interesting to have a story where they had dated, but broke up. And I always wondered what happened to Walter's mom, who you can see very briefly when Henry gets those visions upon opening the box with the umbilical cord. So... um... yes, that's the origin of that.
As for a point... I'm not sure this story has one. Please review and gimme your opinion, dear reader.