Author's Rants: Wow... o.o I totally forgot all about you guys:shot: It is summer again and even though I have better things to do like play RagnarokOnline, Shin Megami Tensei, Shadow Hearts, Grandia III, We Love Katamari, Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, etc, etc. I am cursed with writing this crap. xD That's ok. I don't mind...really...I don't. D: As long as You-Know-Who would update her Roxas fic! (You know who you are!)
Disclaimer: I own nothing already
You've Got Mail
Diiinnnggg. BEEEEP! Do-doo-do-da-dooooo RIIINNNNGGGGG! Laryla stood behind the Necromancer, Faust VIII as he logged into his inbox...WITH DIAL-UP! "Ummm...are you sure you don't want a new one Faust?" Laryla asked the man in make-up
"Nonsense! This computer has been in my family for generations!" Faust protested.
"But-computers haven't been invented long enough to be past down from generations..." Laryla pointed out innocently.
"Silence! This was my very first computer and I will never get rid of it! Never!" Laryla scooted back. "A-Alright...if you insist..." The secret villainess evacuated the room in a stealthy manner.
Eliza, who was standing near her husband the whole time placed her hand on her loved one's shoulder and made a face as if saying "Maybe you ought to get a new one." But Faust just shook his head in disapproval. Eliza just stood back to the side and obeyed her partner. Faust opened his first e-mail.
From: Deadly3liz
To: Necrozombimaster
Subject: Good day!
Dear Faust VIII
You are my favorite character! I love your pants! Are you boots and pants like...connected or something? Oo;;; And do you brush your hair? It looks pretty messy. And do you put on make-up EVERYDAY? Do you wash it off? I mean, you can clog your pores and break out if you don't wash your make-up off. And why don't you just let Eliza go? There are plenty of women who'll go out with you. Like...me for instance. :D I'm sure our age difference isn't that bad! Please e-mail me back with your response!
Love,
Deadly3liz
Faust scratched his head, did the Thinker pose, and then scratched his head again. How was he going to reply to all of these pointless questions? He moved his mouse to hit reply.
Long wait for the page to load.
Faust is still waiting...
Still waiting...
The blonde grumbles. "I need to ditch dial-up..."
Still waiting...
And finally! The page loads and Faust begins his reply.
Dear Deadly3liz,
Umm... thanks for your e-mail. It means a lot to me that you like me this much.
"Am I being too nice?" Faust VIII stroked his chin and stared at his two sentences. After minutes of thought he made some modifications.
Thank you for your e-mail. I'm flattered that I'm your favorite character; since everyone is mostly attracted to Yoh-kun, Ren-kun, and Hao. -.- My boots aren't a part of my pants. I make them look that way because it just looks groovy like that... do kids these guys still say "groovy"? xD I'm getting so old...
And about my make-up, I have emotional issues ok? And I'll never let my precious Eliza go again. We'll be together forever. So I'm afraid I'll have to turn down your offer.
Faust VIII
SEND
Faust got teary-eyed. "How can someone tell me to free Eliza? That's like trying to lick your elbow—impossible!" He took a deep breath and opened the next message.
From: Vmpi3r-bAbY
To: Necrozombimaster
Subject: (no subject)
Hey. I'm a fan of yours. I can totally understand how you feel. My grandmother doesn't understand me, my mother grounded me for getting F's on my report cards, my boyfriend dumped me for a preppy skank, and I broke my fake black nails. Let's get together sometime and discuss how life sucks.
From,
3mo
Faust's eye twitched. "Wow...what teenage angst..." He hit reply.
Dear 3mo,
And I thought I had problems. My dear you have my sympathy but seriously. GET A LIFE. Step outside and breathe in the fresh air and get over it. And for your information my life doesn't suck since I have Eliza with me. But I seriously hope things get better for you.
Faust VIII
SEND.
The necromancer moved the mouse over to the next e-mail and double-clicked. The mouse turned into an hourglass and spun around indicating that it's loading.
Twenty minutes later...
The little hourglass was still turning. Eliza has gotten quite bored and has ended up knitting a sweater. Our favorite guy in make-up tapped his long fingers in irritation. After a few more minutes Faust became quite intolerable. He began to press random buttons rapidly until...
BUMBUMBUM!
The blue screen of death appeared saying his computer has crashed. "...&$#&($#&!" Faust cursed out. He heaved as he held down the ctrl, alt, delete buttons and the old piece of crap has restarted. Faust glanced back towards his beloved only to see an "I told you so" expression. The blonde grumbled as he faced the old computer again. He doubled clicked on his inbox...
RIIIIIIINNNNGGGGG...BIIIIZZZZZZZZZ...GRRRRRRRR... Do-da-dooooo...EHHHHHHHHH!
Faust bit his lower lip, trying to resist sending this old box to the Grim Reaper. Finally! The inbox loaded and Faust immediately opened an e-mail before anything else could happen.
From: banana69donut
To: Necrozombimaster
Subject: Wish you were bigger?
Hello! I am here to tell you about our newest product! When you're in bed making love to your lover do you become self-conscious about your manhood? Well, fear no more my friend as our SuperViagraXYZ will make all your troubles go away. So you can go from an 8" to a 14"!
Click here to see our before and after pictures
Faust stared wide-eyed at the message. SPAM? All the trouble he went through to read fanmail and all he gets is spam! Oh, that was it for Faust. He was gonna destroy his piece of junk.
"Hmm... Maybe I should forward this to little Manta-san and Ryu-san."
After he forwards his spam...
ChibiLaryla : o.o There. I have no real rants right now. Nothing really to say.