The Man in the Glass

Chapter Ten

By Hayai Akurei

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Warning: LAST CHAPTER! Be prepared for a LOT of explanations and talking. Not a lot of action goes on in this chapter.

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'I've failed again…'

Kurogane clenched his fists, his heart sinking heavily in his chest with the weight of Fai's death. The ninja ran among the smoking rubble in the valley below, the scent of charred flesh and burning wood hanging thickly in the air. Dodging some falling debris, he nimbly searched the remains of the forest.

"FAI!" he shouted, covering his mouth as he coughed, the dense smoke invading his senses. There had to at least be a body! Where was he? "FAII!"

It was pointless to even shout if the idiot was dead. But it made him hope against hope that the mage had somehow survived.

"FAII!"

Looking out at the smoldering heap of the boggart's remains, he turned his eyes to the sky, either to beseech the heavens for a reason why or to keep the tears from coming.

'Is this what you wanted me to learn, Tomoyo?' he thought, bitterness starting to take root. 'To realize just how precious something is to me in the instant it's taken away?'

Kurogane bowed his head, practically seething in self-hatred. What good was he if he couldn't even protect those close to him? Why had he let the fool go? Why hadn't he said anything to him? Why couldn't he protect him? Why? Why? WHY?

"DAMMIT!"

At that moment, a cry met his ears, snapping him out of his mental tirade. For a brief second, he thought it was the princess, newly awakened and grief-stricken to find the wizard dead. But that wasn't her voice…

His heart gave a tug.

Automatically, all his senses were awake, searching. There was another pull at his heart, stronger this time, and Kurogane ran faster. Red eyes scanned the dilapidated forest almost frantically, desperate to find whatever called out to him.

He came to a skidding halt when he saw Suu sitting at the base of a tree, a gentle glow emanating from her body. With the grace only a goddess could possess, she lifted her head and smiled at him. There in her lap, nestled in the folds of her dress, lay a crying baby, wrapped in a mess of torn clothes.

"Fai…" The name left his lips before he even realized it.

"Yes," said Suu gently. The blond child sobbed brokenly, coughing on the heavy smoke that lingered in the air. She picked him up, kissing him on both cheeks and resting him on her shoulder. "There, there, little one. Hush now, it's all right."

Kurogane watched as she cradled the baby close as if she were his mother. Soon, the baby's cries began to settle, even as he fussed in discomfort.

"May…" he started, "May I?"

Suu smiled. "Of course you may." Gently, she passed the child to the dark-haired man, who held her charge securely to him as he sat down. The weights on his shoulders slowly lifted and Kurogane was able to breathe again. Almost immediately, Fai fell silent at the presence of this new person. The ninja looked down at him, expecting the child to break out into heart-wrenching sobs at the sight of him. But to his surprise, Fai just blinked his large blue eyes at him, looking comically innocent.

For a long while, Kurogane simply sat there, content to watch Fai as the babe silently looked around. Everything about him now was so…little.

Then, the child scrunched up his face, and the man braced himself for him to start wailing.

Suddenly, Fai sneezed. He whined, rubbing at his face with pudgy fingers. Reaching up, Kurogane unfastened his cloak and wrapped the baby in it, using a corner of it to wipe at Fai's face.

"May I ask you something?" he asked, finally finding his voice again. Suu blinked almost quizzically.

"Of course you may. Ask whatever you would like."

"Why…?" He had to tread lightly. Although Suu seemed nice enough, he had to watch what he said. There was a vast difference between speaking his mind to Tomoyo and to a goddess. He had seen what happened to those who crossed this particular divinity.

"Why did you let him live? To be reborn…like this? I mean, I know you're the goddess to whom the phoenix is sacred, but still, why?"

She paused, as though she herself had never pondered the question.

"Why? That's a fair question. I suppose that it is because I still require a host," Suu explained, "And Fai is still the only available native of Celes around; Ashura is already host to another and Chii's body is not suitable to host a god. I need him in order to survive."

Kurogane gave her a look. "Somehow I get the feeling that you wouldn't let him live solely for such selfish reasons."

An amused smile spread across the goddess's face. "Yes, well that's true too. I've become rather attached to him over the many years that we've been together. So I guess that might be why." She smiled at the baby in his arms, fingering the fine yellow dandelion fluff that graced Fai's head. "All I want is for him to find happiness."

"But for a host to be reborn, it's unheard of," she continued, reaching into the folds of her dress. "I owe his rebirth to this."

Kurogane's eyes widened as she drew her hand out. "The princess's feather…"

It was perfectly intact, resting in the curve of Suu's palm and glowing a gentle pink just like its owner's aura.

"Such great power," Suu remarked, handing him the delicate object, which he put into his coat pocket, "Such amazing power…and in the smallest of things at that. I would have never thought I'd get to see Fai live out his life the way it should have been lived. To your princess, I am grateful."

Fai gurgled, blinking up at the ninja with his puppy-like blue eyes and kicking his little feet. It almost seemed as if he knew they were talking about him.

But for Kurogane, all this information was taking a while to settle in. To see the once affable and lonely man shrunken into a beautiful baby that he could hold with just one hand was going to take some getting used to. For a while, Kurogane simply sat there, gazing at the baby wrapped in his cloak. Everything about him now was so small, he noted, as he unconsciously began to count fingers and toes.

The child wriggled around, babbling at Kurogane innocently as he chewed on the edge of the dark fabric with tiny pink gums.

"Why was he so afraid of himself?" he asked softly, running his finger along Fai's cheek. "The boggart took his own shape as his greatest fear. So, why?" Red eyes, almost frightened, looked over at the deity sitting next to him.

Suu turned her gaze to the destruction that surrounded them. "Fai is such a gentle soul. So warm and full of life. You've seen him, how he acts. You know what for him is real and what is merely a façade for others to see. All that came to pass because of my overconfidence in him."

Kurogane said not a word. This was a touchy subject, obviously. For his part, Fai found a particular interest in the man's hands and began tugging on his fingers, occasionally chewing on his knuckles and thumb.

"In Celes," Suu explained, "There are many gods. However, to maintain our existence, we need a host, as I explained earlier. We are attracted to certain souls and the day Fai was born, I knew that I had found someone very special. I was amazed at his raw power, and I knew that with time, he would be able to wield it with such a prowess that no one had ever seen. His name would never be forgotten in our world."

Her voice dropped to a low murmur.

"However, something happened that even the Four Creators of Celes did not intend. The seven seals had broken, and all chaos was unleashed upon the land. And it was that day, at the mere age of seven, Fai first killed someone. It was only a soldier, possessed by the dark powers of the underworld, but it hurt him so very deeply. He was never made to take a life.

"From that day on, he swore to do as I bid, under the oath that he would never kill again. His power, further amplified by my own, was so great that I placed my sigil upon him, suppressing his powers."

"His tattoo," Kurogane supplied. She nodded.

"Then one day, we met up with Hinoto, a seer who serves the sun god Ryuuki, while on a scouting mission. And she told him that he would die prematurely. And it was because he had no outlet for his magic, a storm in a bottle, you could say. And if we removed the tattoo, he would lose control right then and obliterate everything and everyone in its wake. However, he just smiled at me, and said not to worry. He hid his pain from me, even though he knew I knew. His magic, his own power, was devouring him alive."

"Then why didn't anything happen when we met up with the witch?"

Suu chuckled a little. "For someone such as yourself, you certainly do have a lot of questions. Fai's favorite word was 'why' for the longest time when he was a boy."

His face flushing slightly, Kurogane let himself be distracted by a moment by the giggling baby, who was curiously running his tiny fingers over the creases in the older man's palm, his lips pursed in pseudo-concentration.

"But you are right to ask," she said, "The Space Time Witch has an immense and mysterious power. Even I am not able to fully explain the absence of destruction when she removed his tattoo.

"However, in all that time that the tattoo remained on Fai's back, he didn't fear for himself," she went on, "He feared for those he would inevitably kill. He didn't want that, and condemned himself to a life of solitude. And so, he shut himself up and away, although he craves the company of others. That's how Chii came to be. Later, he found a friend in Ashura, who several years after revealed to him that he was host to Fuuma, god of war."

"Is there something between the two of you?" Kurogane asked. "You didn't seem to hit it off very well."

"We are both gods of war, and yet we are so very different." Her face took on a stony expression at the mention of the other god. "He is reckless, without thought or mercy. Fuuma delights in suffering, and will spare no mortal from his pleasure. I was never able to stand it, and vowed to always be there to beat him back, for the sake of mortal men."

White hair hung in her eyes as she lowered her head. "I was so certain that Fai had the capability to defeat him, but I made him grow up too fast. I was so bent on defeating Fuuma as I had in the past, being the goddess of strategy and skill, but I hurt my host in the process. And it was also because of our neverending war that Fai and Ashura's friendship was torn apart. That was why, in the Final Revolution against Ashura's reign, where so many people lost their lives, Fai put him to sleep instead of killing him."

A slender, ghostly hand cupped Fai's face, and the blue-eyed baby met her gaze, cooing and gurgling incessantly.

"He was so fragile – and still is in some ways. He never wanted strength; that which many men desire was the cause for his suffering and eventual death. All he wanted was companionship." Green eyes softened as she regarded the ninja fondly. "You and the children gave him that, and for that I am grateful. Thank you."

Unused to being thanked by a goddess, Kurogane fidgeted a little. "Will he…" the man hesitated, "Will he ever remember his life before this one?"

"I'm afraid not," answered Suu, "He has started over completely, fully born anew." She offered him an encouraging smile. "But that doesn't mean that you can't make new memories with him."

He didn't answer her. Instead, he cradled the infant in his arms, awkwardly stroking the child's head. It was hard to believe that this innocent babe would one day grow up to be one of the most powerful people he had formerly known.

Yawning pinkly, Fai rested his head against the ninja's chest, his eyelids drooping as he stuck his thumb in his mouth, sucking on it, the other hand still clenching the black cloak.

"Take heart, Kurogane," said Suu, ghosting a hand through the fine blond strands of hair, "All is not lost." Her form became misty, almost transparent. "And if it is any consolation, he did find true happiness, after he met all of you." She smiled, touching the ninja's cheek as she continued to dematerialize. "Godspeed, good warrior." And with that, she disappeared, her essence dissolving into her host's body.

Now, the dark-haired man sat alone, the tiny baby slumbering peacefully in his embrace. As he watched him sleep, something tugged at his heart again. This time, however, it wasn't so much a painful stab, but rather a lulling sense of need. The need to be close, to protect, to be needed…

To be loved? He glanced down at the child, wracking his brain for answers. Could he allow himself to be loved and cherished in this child's heart? What he had felt for Fai – still felt for him – he could never try and figure out. It was more than just simple acquaintanceship, but not what one felt for a lover. It was that same something that drove him to place his life in danger for the sake of the princess and the kid.

"What you all do to me…" whispered Kurogane. Fai just kept on sucking his thumb, lost in his dreams. The longer Kurogane sat there, the less sure he became in his erratic logic. He never was really that good at deeply analyzing things. It was a sort of weird, twisted form of love. What else could it be? But then again, love was just weird like that.

Adjusting his hold on the baby and holding him closer, the ninja felt the world melt away into nothingness, until there was nothing else but the two of them.

Life was such a fragile thing, he mused. Second chances were nonexistent, but this man had been given another chance at life. And Kurogane felt like he had been given a second chance too, to fulfill his promise.

"I'll protect you," he swore, echoing the words he had spoken to the newborn princess so many years ago. He didn't trust his voice; it was barely above a whisper. "I swear upon my life that I will let no harm come to you, ever."

Lifting the child up, he sealed his oath with a gentle, fleeting kiss to Fai's forehead. Fai wrinkled his face up a little bit at the contact, but quickly relaxed in the comfort of his dreams, sighing contentedly.

"I swear it," Kurogane repeated, his resolve strengthening. He held the infant gently to his chest. Although it was rather faint, he could hear the tiny ba-bump ba-bump of Fai's heart, and a single tear slipped down his cheek. It was proof of the life he now protected, no matter how small it seemed.

"I swear."

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He had returned to find the others in tears, sobbing brokenly in each other's arms. Syaoran awkwardly held Sakura as they tried to console one another. Clef stood nearby among the gathered throng of villagers below, a hand raised in prayer. Off to the side stood Ashura, looking rather…solemn. Not so much as that, but almost disgusted that something besides himself had managed to get rid of his god-sworn enemy. But even that didn't hold true, as Fai had chosen his own death himself.

"Kurogane-san," Syaoran called, catching sight of the older man as he walked up to them. Sakura looked up, her face wet with tears. Kurogane felt so weary, and his heart gave an odd little leap, as if he was coming home to something. A home that wasn't his Japan, but served just as well in his home country's absence.

"Hey."

The two ran over to him, their eyes still red from crying.

"Are you all right?" asked Sakura, "We were so worried about you and after what had happened to Fai-san, we…"

He could hear the tears swelling up in her voice and shushed her gently. Peeling back the folds of his cloak, Kurogane revealed to them his precious burden. The children's eyes widened upon beholding the infant baby.

"Fai-san?" Syaoran gasped, looking down at the slumbering blonde child. "Thank goodness!"

"He's alive!" exclaimed the princess excitedly, keeping her voice down so to not wake him. Kurogane nodded.

"He is. And it's because of this feather of yours, princess." Sakura beamed as the man handed her the delicate object, careful to not let it return to her just yet.

Mokona hopped onto the ninja's shoulder and peered down at the tiny infant. "So Sakura's feather allowed him to be reborn?"

"That's what Suu said."

"It's impossible."

The children jumped as they all turned to face Ashura, who was looking at the child with disbelief and…awe?

"You damn well better believe it," Kurogane said flatly, stepping between Ashura and the children. He gently slid the bundle into Sakura's arms, and the princess held the child close, Syaoran moving in front of her.

"Get the hell out," he seethed, "I don't give a rat's ass if you believe it or not." He would sooner die than give the man a clear shot to take the child away. "I'm not letting you near any of them. There's no boggart here to stop me from killing you this time either if you provoke me."

Ashura was still flabbergasted; it just couldn't get past all his reasoning.

"So don't provoke me," Kurogane hissed, "I'll kill you if I have to, but I'd rather not."

Syaoran looked up at him, somewhat startled. "Kurogane-san?"

"You're still his friend," he said, "And he would probably never forgive me if I did. But if it keeps you from hurting him further, I will kill you, even if it means he'll never speak to me again."

Ashura looked as though he felt like he should be scowling, but he wasn't. Kurogane watched him levelly, ready to defend his charges in a split-second's notice. The golden-eyed monarch was about to step forward, when the skies opened with a crack of thunder and they were all bathed in a warm white light. He tilted his head, as if listening to someone. Then, he nodded, and turned to face the small group.

"I will retire my advances," he said coldly, "If it is what the Four Creators decree, then so be it." His eyes turned stony, as hard as amber as he glanced at the sleeping child that was his rival, and then at the man who stood in his way. "But mark my words, this will not be the last time we meet. Consider yourself lucky the gods have decided to spare you this one turn. Your interference in our destined fight, as well as that of that monster, was mere coincidence."

There was a swelling sensation in Kurogane's chest, and he could feel it empower him with an awesome strength he had never felt before as he stood before the Celesian king. "There's no such thing as coincidence. There is only hitsuzen." Crimson eyes narrowed dangerously. "And by that, I will kill you."

"I look forward to it," Ashura said icily, bowing his head shortly and disappearing into the vortex from which he came. And with that, he was gone.

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Author's Notes: (does a happy dance) I actually finished it! YAYY! But what kind of half-arsed ending was that? Oy. When there's nothing better, there's always divine intervention! (hee!) In any case, the Four Creators are essentially the women of CLAMP. Aren't I so original? But since they are the creators of all the series that we all know and love, they are the deities of creation in Celes.

But that's the end of "The Man in the Glass!" Many thanks to all my wonderful reviewers. Your feedback was what made this story happen.

Attempts at a sequel are already underway. It probably won't be as completely serious as this one, but I'll try. At this rate, it's primarily fluff to make up for the excessive angst.

THANK YOU SO MUCH! I look forward to writing some more stuff for you guys!