AN: Wow. It reaaally took me forever updating this. Please don't kill me for my absence. I've had crazy computer problems (it crashed on me three times today alone) where I kept losing all my writings (sniff) that made me give up for a while and waaay too much work and okay, I'll stop with the lame excuses. Again, this is a half chapter since I felt horrible about getting nothing out and the last half'll take me a while. It needs a bit more editing and fleshing out, as usual. So please tell me if I need to fix anything! Especially since for my computer's suddenly rejecting Microsoft Word, my favorite editor. So please tell me even if it's just a misplaced comma or odd word usage (I tend to butcher words and sayings, like "hey, don't kick a gift horse in the mouth!"). I may edit this when it's not 3am in the morning, when my brain's actually working.
Notes: Ok, just to pre-brief you guys so you're not confused when I bring this up: Fushugi Yuugi Genbu Kaiden is the continuation of a popular adventure/fantasy/romance manga. I'm sure most of you have heard of the original Fushigi Yuugi series, but if not, here's a summary - Each series has an average schoolgirl brought into Ancient China to unite the seven "Seishi" (super-powered warriors) that will help save the land. Okay, a bit vague. But they're good reads. If you want further explanations just ask me or wiki it.
Thank you guys for all the great reviews! Almost every time I read one I feel guilty enough to write just a little more. To address some of you reviewers (some of whom may have given up on me but heh, sorry?), BloomAmber, I really should thank you because your review made me feel guilty enough to finish this. And Motoki is dressed as a turtle in Act 25. I was so grateful to you that I actually looked that up. And Skye0906, thank you for such a sweet review! And elianthos, you've probably bought P+P by now but it's great to hear that you liked it!
Hey, did you guys see the live action version of "Hana Yori Dango"? The second series/season is out so I'm excited. For movies, "Children of Men" was worth watching but doesn't answer as many questions as I'd have liked. Um, yeah, anywho... Some of you Makoto fans might like this chapter. For some reason I have a hard time writing her but I needed to focus on her character a bit for this chapter. I'm not a huge fan of her anime boy-craziness so she might be more PGSM-Mako than you're expecting. Oookay, on with the story...
"Why won't you show me your face?"
"It's not my choice. None of this is."
Staring into the darkness surrounding her, Usagi clutched her translucent robe tighter around her body, vaguely wondering who on earth was responsible for dressing her in this dream. She was shivering, but not as much from the cold as from the sobering atmosphere that nearly suffocated her. There was some intangible, indescribable in the air that felt almost like lonelines. But even Usagi knew that she was not a person who should know what that felt like. Yet it was starting to feel familiar.
The endless barren landscape lain out before her saddened her somehow. It was like a ghost of something wonderful, unattainable. Something long dead... something... nostalgic. It seemed the long figure standing before her wa right at home there, like it was the only place he would ever belong.
"This is your world, isn't it?"
Hollow laughter answered her question. "No, actually. It was yours. This is, all of this," he explained with a broad gesture, "is your past... this is where you left me behind."
Puzzled, Usagi pulled her silver night gown closer to her in a futile effort to comfort her frazzled nerves and asked softly, "What do you mean?"
Turning, her companion pinned her with a saddened gaze. It was hard to see past the mist surrounding her, but she didn't need to see him clearly to know what he was feeling. She could feel the pain that his dark blue eyes carried.
Those eyes... so familiar...
"You chose this. You. I never wanted this. You say I do but I don't. Why did you do it?" His words sounded almost accusing but his velvet soft voice held no menace. This man, he just wanted answers. Answers that she would have been more than willing to give him if she just knew what the question was.
'Do what?' she wanted to ask. But her lips moved of their own accord, "It's better this way."
Was it?
"Stop being so stubborn," he chastised with an almost painful smile. Gazing down at the peaceful planet so far away from them, his planet, he whispered, "You're running from it. It's coming to catch up to you but you're in denial. Don't you understand? It's already starting to crumble and I don't think you can handle it. I want to help you but I can't. You won't let me."
"What is? What's starting to crumble."
He was silent for a moment and when he did speak it was so soft it felt like the wind was whispering to her.
"I will see you soon, Serenity."
Usagi gasped, her eyes flying open. She grasped her chest as she tried desperately to regain her breath. The moonlight that shone down on her was too bright for her eyes to handle. She looked away. Slowly, she sat up in her bed, clutching her sheets closer to her, only one thought in her head.
'It happened again. The same dream.'
Memory
by moonangel
Chapter 5
Kino Makoto looked up from her book as a shiny, blue bouncy ball rolled to a stop at her feet. Bending over, she picked it up before standing to full height of 169 centimeters. As she tossed the ball between her hands, her curious eyes searched the park for an explanation. Two children no taller than half her height,and probably half her age, ran up to her. They stopped practically five meters away from the bench she had just vacated. The taller one, a cute girl in pigtails, spoke first.
"Um, can- can we have our ball back?" she pleaded hesitantly. After a moment she whimpered, "Please?"
Her companion, a tiny bespeckled redhead hid behind her, staring up at Makoto with wide, unblinking eyes.
With a casual shrug, Makoto gave them a slight smile before tossing them the ball, saying, "Sure. Here."
She winced as Miss Pigtails nearly stumbled back as the ball hit her chest with more force than intended. The two quickly backed away, calling out their thanks when they were far enough away. With an unreadable expression, Makoto silently watched them until they were out of sight. With a sigh, she returned to her reading.
"Sugoi!"
Huh?
"Is that the newest Fushugi Yuugi: Genbu Kaiden? Kami-sama, I've been waiting for it for ages! Did it just come out?"
Eyes wide, Makoto slowly turned around to see the owner of the loud voice that had just interrupted her thoughts. Her suspicions were confirmed. Peeking over her shoulder was none other than Tsukino Usagi, self-proclaimed number one manga otaku of Tokyo. Strangley, her face was hidden behind her hands. But she didn't seem to be doing a good job covering hiding it since Makoto could clearly see sky blue eyes peeking through the spread fingers. It was an amusing sight to see, the great heroine of Tokyo leaning, and centimeters from falling, over a bench like an eager child who had just discovered chocolate.
Her partially covered eyes glued to the page Makoto was on, Usagi babbled enthusiastically, "Wow, I've been so down lately, this is like, the best news ever! How far into are you? Did they find the next Seishi yet? And wait, what's Rimudo doing on this page? Gah! Don't tell me anything! I can't look! "
Okay, that didn't make much sense. Watching bemusedly as the blonde backed away while fully covering her eyes with one hand, Makoto slowly folded the book into her lap. Chuckling, she said, "It's okay. You can look now. I've closed the book."
One bright blue eye appeared behind Usagi's fingers. "You did?"
"I did."
Usagi immediately plopped down next to Makoto on the bench, letting out a huge sigh of relief.
"Okay good. I was this close to totally spoiling my future reading enjoyment of the best series ever," she breathed out. Finally taking a good look at her new companion she gasped. "Hey, you're tall."
"Yes. I'm quite aware of that," Makoto said ruefully, turning to look at her. The blond just nodded, cheerfully smiling up at her.
"So," Makoto drawled out with a smirk as she casually pulled out a water bottle from her satchel. "I take it you like Fushigi Yuugi?"
"Yeah. I read the original series but I didn't really like Miaka. She was always complaining and tripping over things and she was constantly eating everything in sight! So I prefer the new series with Takiko. She's so much cooler."
Makoto paused mid-sip and nearly choked into her drink. She slowly lowered the bottle, realizing that trying to take a sip of water while talking to Usagi was probably never a good idea. "You- you don't like Miaka?" she asked. After receiving an adamant head shake, she continued with careful wording, "Because she's whiny, clumsy and liked to pig out?"
Nodding emphatically, her pigtails flying every which way, Usagi enthused, "Yeah. I was rooting for her and Tamahome and all but really, what kind of hero is that? Heck, I'm like that. Putting a girl like that in charge of saving your kingdom is completely illogical."
Makoto grinned and nodded along with her, though she secretly disagreed with her. Well, at least her old friend wasn't that oblivious. "Well, true. But I kind of liked Miaka. She had her annoying moments but she was undyingly loyal. Even to her best friend Yui who betrayed her in every way possible. It didn't seem very logical in a way but I really respected that. So I can't help but have a soft spot for her."
Snorting loudly, Usagi grumbled, "Hey, if my best friend treated me that badly I'd be pretty annoyed with her. I would so totally give her a good whacking before forgiving her if she pissed me off badly enough!"
It was hard picturing the frail girl beside her whaling on a person. Reflecting on Usagi's odd relationship with Rei, Makoto stifled a laugh. Okay, maybe it wasn't that hard to picture. "Yeah, maybe. But you'd forgive her eventually, right?"
Usagi stared at her blankly. "Well, yeah. Why wouldn't I? It's got to be written in the best friend guide book or something."
Smiling, Makoto said," Yeah. Probably. So you prefer Takiko?"
"Yep! She's proactive. And she beats people up. No one has to protect her, even if they want to. I wish I was like that."
Makoto laughed. "I'm sure you'd make a great hero."
Usagi blushed. "Nah. You'd probably be better. Actually, I'm sure of it," she said, thoughtfully adding, "I don't know why but I feel like I know you. This sounds weird but that's been happening a lot to me lately. Maybe you just remind me of Takiko."
So Minako was right. Inwardly, Makoto felt her heart flutter. Usagi was remembering. As she processed that last line, her lips formed into a wry smirk.
"Because I look like I can beat someone up?" she asked wryly.
"Because you're motherly," Usagi replied simply.
Noticing a flicker of surprise inMakoto's emerald eyes, Usagi continued, flustered, "Because Takiko takes care of people. She's always worrying about them and putting herself last. You just seem to have the same aura. Maybe I worded it funny 'cuz it's not like you look like a mother. You just seem like someone who's loyal, who protects people..."
Her voice trailed off. Usagi's eyes fell to her lap and she shifted in her seat uncomfortably, worried that she had just offended the girl.
"Of course, I could be totally wrong and just imagining things since I do seem to be, like, thirty percent crazier these days and you know I'm way better at math than I am at reading people which is pretty bad 'cuz wow, you should see my math scores so-" the blonde babbled.
"Kino Makoto."
The words dying in her throat,Usagi stared curiously at the hand that was suddenly thrust in her face. Then suddenly she smiled, her eyes lifting to greet a grinning brunette.
"Tsukino Usagi," she replied, shaking her new friend's hand.
----------
As she cheerfully stepped through the threshold of the brightly lit arcade, Makoto cocked her head to the side and grinned as she heard a resounding crack. Proceeding to crack her knuckles, more out of habit than out of need, she jauntily made her way past a handful of giggling preteens towards the counter. To her left, she noticed a diminuative ten year old staring up at her in awe when she finished with her last knuckle. After tossing the boy a smirk, Makoto winced when she noticed his neglected Tuxedo Kamen getting K.O'ed by an aggressive Sailor Mars in the latest Sailormoon battle game. It was strangly fitting.
Ahead of her, after glancing up from his diligent counter polishing, a bright smile lit Motoki's face when he saw who had entered the arcade.
"Mako-chan! It's so great to-"
"Finally! Motoki! I was wondering where you were yesterday," Makoto growled out, marching straight up to him, leaning over the counter to point an accusing finger just inches from his nose. "We were worried that something had happened to you, you dolt!"
Slowly uncrossing his eyes as she lowered her arm, Motoki set down his rag and sheepishly answered, "Oh, I took the day off to hang out at the local fair."
Makoto stared blankly at him.
"You... took the day off?" she repeated slowly, uncomprehendingly.
Oblivious to her outright gawking, Motoki sighed, shaking his head in remembrance. "Yeah, my boss is pretty easygoing with stuff like that and it was really important 'cuz I needed to help out a friend. He's got issues."
"Wow, we thought you never spent time outside the arcade," Makoto mused to herself, oblivious to whatever he seemed to be babbling about.
Miffed, Motoki scoffed, "Hey, I have a life you know! And I do have classes to attend."
Makoto barely seemed to notice his defensive tone. Shaking her head as she lowered herself onto the nearest stool, she muttered, "Weird."
He flushed. "Really! I hang out. And do stuff. My life's not all about arcades and turtles. I swear!"
"Turtles?"
"Er, pretend you didn't hear that. So uh, what can I do you for?"
Crossing her khaki clad legs, Makoto lifted a quizzical brow. "'Do me for?'" Wasn't that a Western term?
Blushing even redder, Motoki coughed loudly, averting his eyes and quickly corrected, "I didn't say 'do you'. Geez you're so silly! I meant, um, can- can I h-help you?"
Giggling as she watched the sandy blonde haired boy stutter, Makoto wondered if she'd ever seen a guy blush before. Or if she'd ever actually giggled before. Trying to school her grinning mouth into a serious frown, she decided to get down to business. "Yeah. You know Usagi and Mamoru-san, right?"
Grateful for the change of subject he nodded furiously.
"Yeah. Mmhm. Good friends. Great. Love 'em," he supplied, almost violently enthusiastic. "But I didn't know that you did. Are you friends with them, too?"
"Well, I'm... acquainted with them. And I wanted to ask you if either of the two been acting a little weird lately," she asked, wincing at how lamely vague that sounded. Still, Motoki seemed to pause for a second to ponder over her statement. Makoto eyed him warily. Minako had insisted that he'd be a good source for information on Usagi and Mamoru, considering that he was the one person in Tokyo who was most likely to interact with both of them. But she doubted that she'd get anything useful out of boy. It so was hard interrogating someone without the use of force. Makoto didn't get why Minako had been so adamantly against doing things the easy way. She was clueless about how to go about extracting information without being allowed to tie her victim to a chair, slap him around a bit or dip his head in a toilet. How could you get anything out of anyone by just... talking? This was just plain depressing. The other girls had gotten all the juicy assignments but for some reason Minako insisted that Makoto, and only Makoto, just had to talk to Motoki even if he turned out to be completely useless. When Makoto had pleaded to switch with Rei and let her handle Motoki, Minako had just wrinkled her nose and said something like, "they'd be so weird together". That girl was so random sometimes. So, inwardly grumbling about airheaded blondes, Makoto had started hanging around the arcade again, resovled to do her senshi duty. Besides, it couldn't hurt to spend an afternoon with a cute college freshman. Even if he was a little bit odd in the head.
While she mused over her plight, she watched as Motoki scrubbed the countertop deep in thought. Random amusing, and occasionally unflattering, expressions crossed his face and it was clear that he was unaccustomed to deep thought. Or just thinking in general. Makoto felt her lips twitch. He was so amusing to watch. He looked like a little boy the way his nose scrunched up when he frowned and his sandy brown hair kept falling over his eyes.
Makoto blinked when those bright green eyes widened and it seemed Motoki had finally to come to some sort of conclusion.
"Hey! You're right! Both of them have been so weird recently. Usagi's usually kind of weird so I didn't really think anything of it. But ever since the day of the big storm they've both been just plain odd. And that's pretty bad, coming from me. You think it has something to do with that?" he exclaimed excitedly. Laughing, he added, "Heh, maybe we were invaded by evil, little green Martians and they were replaced them with robot lookalikes."
Suddenly Makoto was starting to see why Minako had insisted that Rei would be a bad choice for dealing with Motoki. "Er, right. Or maybe they might be having romantic troubles."
"Ha! Mamoru having romantic troubles? Never in a gazillion years. He could get any girl that he wants. Although he's never tried. It's so weird. He's already eighteen and I doubt he's even held a girl's hand before. And he seriously gives me the scariest looks whenever I suggest that he might be gay. So I'm actually starting to believe him about his straightness. But the guy's always refusing girls. He's got to go for one of them eventually, right? I bet she'd have to fall in his lap though because I don't think he'd ever actually pursue a girl. That'd just be plain un-Mamoru-like. I mean, if he ever was interested in one..."
Makoto stared at him expectantly, unconsciously leaning forward on the counter.
"... then he wouldn't know what the hell to do with her, would he?" Motoki continued, his eyes widening yet again. "Hey, you don't think that's what's been bothering him recently, do you?"
She nodded encouragingly.
Motoki's brows furrowed in what looked like concentration. "You think he's... afraid?"
Tilting her head in thought, Makoto found that his comment seemed to make a great deal of sense.
"Well, wouldn't you be? He doesn't have the greatest history of, well, being happy," she snorted, realization dawning in her eyes. Hey, maybe he was pretty helpful.
Eagerly, Motoki nodded his head. "I didn't notice at all! I mean I was so freaked out about the world ending and then I needed to feed Kamekichi and- and..."
Kamekichi? Maybe it wouldn't be a good idea to ask. This boy really did live in a world of his own and Makoto was too happy with the progress she had just made to care. So she just laughed. "Motoki, you need to get out more."
Motoki flushed and gave her a sheepish look. "Yeah, maybe I do. Want to come with me?"
"Eh?"
----------
In the darkness of his apartment Mamoru sat on his rumpled bed, silently staring blankly down at his hands. A sea of emotions swam through him, his mind lost in confusion, yet he could do nothing but stare.
He closed his aching eyes.
'Usagi.'
Soft music filled his ears.
'Do you want to remember me? Has your heart not forgotten even if your mind has?'
His fists clenched. Was it too much to hope?
Of course. It was her wish. His mind fell back to that moment, barely days ago, when he had woken up in a hospital bed with the pressing need for answers.
He looked down at the glowing object in his palm.
Yes, he had found his answers. The poor little orphan boy had woken up yet again to find that he'd lost his past, that his happiness had been stripped from him yet again. But this time he couldn't blame fate.
Then was he blaming her? Could he be so childish? No. He could never. She had wanted a new life. More than anyone on earth, she deserved to that. So he'd told himself he would stay away. He would grant her that wish and protect it fiercely if he had to.
And now... now he was starting to wonder if maybe things didn't have to be this way. Maybe she was remembering or...
'Maybe no matter what, despite the past, despite what we've been through, the pressure, the drama... maybe without all that, despite all that she loves me...'
'We were thrown together. One minute we were arguing like children and the next we were destined lovers. We never had time to process it, to deal with it together. When I remembered it all I just assumed that maybe she didn't want that. But if she's falling for me again, if she really does feel something now, without her memories then maybe there's a chance...'
'A new chance...'
Memories swam through his mind of the relationship she had given up.
He remembered her anger...
"Itai! Mamoru-baka, stop getting in my way!"
Her annoyance...
"Motoki-onii-san, your friends with this jerk?"
Her tears.
"Why do you hate me?"
Maybe it was better that she had forgotten. Maybe it was a blessing. A new chance. They could start over. What if that had been what she had truly wanted.
His tired heart fluttered, despite the many doubts that plagued his conflicted mind.
Was he hoping for too much? Was it all in his head? And could he really trust Motoki's judgement? He believed his friend had a good head on his shoulders but he had to question just how observant the guy was. Maybe he had just been imagining things. Or maybe, Mamoru thought grimly, he had read her wrong and she really had a crush on Motoki, just like she used to. The main question he really needed to ask was, what should he do now?
As the confused young man stared off into space, the soft melody of the star-shaped locket continued to echo through the barren apartment.
To be Continued…
Lillie Bell - I was reading over my old reviews when writing this and I read yours mentioning the locket right when I was trying to figure out how to write the Mamoru angsting scene. Thanks for the unintentional inspiration. And for the nice review!
AN. I know, little progress has been made. I'm building it up and I keep pushing back the pivotal scenes because it doesn't quite feel ready for it. But I promise I'll try to work on this story more this year but work's kind of taken over my life so I'm slowly trying to get my "me" time back.
I loved writing the Usagi/Makoto encounter. It was greatly influenced by the R movie where Makoto's remembering not being accepted because people were scared of her. I just thought that was so fitting (and sad, I love that movie). Although I winced slightly at the "who'd want a heroine like that?" comment Usagi made but it just felt perfectly natural in that conversation. I really wasn't trying to wink at the readers, honest! Anyways, I wasn't trying to hide the character parallels there so I figured you guys would forgive that. Well, 'til next time! Please review because it seems to help my motivation!