You clicked on this, which means that you MUST read it! Anywho, this story took me about three days to write. It's supposed be weird and comical...but mostly weird. This will either put a smile on your face or make you go "Wha?" But I just had the urge to write it. I've been in a comical, cheerful mood lately. Then I'll go back to writing darkness, depression and stuff like that. At times it keeps switching between scenes constantly and I tried to not make it too confusing, but try to pay attention anyway. And this is 15 pages, sorry for it being long! But its better as a one shot anyway. This was written purely for my amusement. Which means it has no point. So hope you enjoy!
And I totally forgot to mention before! Thanks to Sky the Hedgehog for the idea! He mentioned a big mound of cheese...and then I wrote this. ;) (which means you must check out his stuff. Get to it, people).
"Espio! Espio! Come over here! Espioooo!"
The cry of the incredibly high-pitched voice rang through the cluttered room like a siren, harsh and discordant, blaring every five seconds that would resound in the brain in a strident cacophony. The purple chameleon being called upon cringed at the voice's demands, rudely taking him out of the first peaceful nap he had in days. And it had been such a pleasant and wonderful dream too; vanquishing his enemies with the aid of his sharp and accurate shuriken, performing moves that not even the best of martial artists could ever hope to achieve. And best of all, the main reason that made him wish the dream could last forever.
No Charmy.
"Espio!"
Oh no, he thought to himself, sighing heavily. He sat forlornly on the green, tattered couch of the small room, hoping beyond hope that he was hearing things. But the sight of the insect proved him wrong. He fought back the urge to throttle the hyperactive, hyper annoying, hyper freak of a six-year old bee who buzzed around the room, shrieking his name in a steady, piercing chant.
"Es-pi-o! Es-pi-o! Es-pi-o! Es-pi-o!"
So the ninja reptile silently made a vow that he had already made over thirty times throughout his suffering. "When I get a hold of Vector, I swear I am going to kill him."
Espio was not sure how exactly, but the traitorous crocodile had somehow been able to trick the usually perceptive ninja. All Vector did was say to him that he had a detective assignment specialized to himself only and that he would be gone for few days. Although Espio had openly questioned Vector why he was carrying a large traveling suitcase bulging with clothes and wearing a Hawaiian shirt and having a pair of sunglasses perched on his green head and holding some sort of beverage in a coconut container with one of those teeny, tiny umbrellas on the top.
"Uh, I'm going in disguise. Yep, I have to pose as a tourist so that none will suspect me! That's what I am!"
And for some reason that not even God Himself could fathom, Espio bought the excuse. Perhaps it was the fact that the chameleon had acquired a concussion just a couple of days before due to a falling pipe from the crumbling ceiling impacting his skull that may have affected his thinking process. But still, Espio accepted Vector's lame explanation. And now it had been three full weeks since he had been left behind…all alone…with Charmy.
In essence, it had basically been a time of dreaded and horrific Hell. Heck, Hell itself would have been more tolerable than where he was now. So far, Espio had been dunked in boiling water, glued to the floor, hit by random ceiling tiles, and nearly had his tail set on fire. (Which he still had the burn marks for memory). There was even one time which he had to account on plain stupidity, when Charmy had been so kind enough to give Espio his morning coffee that the little child made himself with such an innocent smile. The next morning, Espio had woken up to find himself stranded in the Sahara Desert wearing a dress and some kind of green hat, having no clue how he had gotten there. Only knowing that it was all Charmy's fault and that he should have just let himself broil in the desert to finally bring him peace from this miserable existence.
But everything was Charmy's fault. Whenever something bad happened, you can bet your precious green dollar that Charmy the Bee had something to do with it, even if he wasn't the mastermind behind it. It was the law of nature to know these things. Espio had undergone an immense trial for the past three weeks, especially with Vector no longer around to share the burden. And it proved to be quite challenging for the chameleon just to keep hold of whatever sanity he had left, which was not much at the moment.
Vector? Where the hell are you!
"Espioooo!" shrieked the innocent voice of pain and torture whose little yellow and black body sat at the top of the desk where the vanished crocodile used to occupy, grinning in ecstatic jubilation. "I want to show you something! It's really awesome and so much fun! Fun!"
Espio's yellow eyes at once became haunted. That's it, he was going to commit suicide now. No use in talking him out of it. His mind was set. He was going to jump out the window of the detective agency building right now and splatter to the ground so he could join the sweet, sweet embrace of death. And if that won't work, he could always get Shadow to shoot him in the head with that new gun of his, right between the eyes, quick kill. Just something to get him away from Charmy's jarring chatter. Anything for the love of God!
He imagined himself getting everlasting peace up in the puffy white clouds with the angels in such intense fondness that he didn't notice Charmy coming up to him until he was right up to the reptile's face to shriek a friendly greeting. "Hiya Espio!"
"AHHH!"
The chameleon jumped from horrific shock and landed ungracefully to the hard floor. Not what you expected to see from a trained ninja. He shot up to his feet immediately after, glaring with open hatred to the oblivious bee. "Don't freaking do that!"
"Whoops. Sorry about that, Espio!" Charmy just brushed the whole matter aside, his eyes glowing with the excitement that he wished to share with his ticked off friend. "But I need to show you something! It's really good. Come on!"
Thinking of any methods of humiliation and suffering that the bee could devise, Espio tried to back away, his face filled with horror as he tried in vain to search for the lethargic medication of the bee that was usually nearby in its container. "No, wait! I'm too tired to go through anything anymore! For the love of God, why don't you just go and torture somebody else with your stupid ideas?"
He stopped talking once he saw Charmy's wide eyes start to water and his bottom lip quivering in such sorrowful manner. Uh oh, now he done it.
"Ah! I'm sorry, Charmy! Sorry!" Espio pleaded before the waterworks would commence. It was worse dealing with a crying Charmy than a happy one. "I didn't mean anything by that! I was joking! Ha ha, joke. Your not stupid, your smart! Very…very smart…yeah."
Immediately, the sadness that had covered Charmy's face lifted away, replaced by his shining grin. "Aw, that's okay, Espio! But I really want to show you something. Pleeeeease?"
The chameleon groaned inwardly. What other choice did he have? Really? He would meet this new challenge head on, no matter what it did to his mental health. He made a note to himself to go visit the mental asylum after this, for he was sure he was not going to make it. "Alright, Charmy," he resigned. "What is it you want to show me?"
"This!" cried the bee as he shoved a white object toward Espio's direction.
Putting his hands up in defense for whatever pain he was about to receive, the chameleon was perplexed when all he saw was thin piece of paper held in Charmy's hand, chicken scratch marks printed on it that when looked at closer resembled messy handwriting. The young bee was practically glowing, jumping up and down in barely contained anticipation. "Can you read this?"
Espio stared at the harmless white leaf, unsure whether this was just a ploy of Charmy to lure him into a trap that would result in him getting covered in tar and chicken feathers as people laughed at him in the town square. (Which in fact did happen only five days ago). He was going to refuse at first, but Charmy had such hope in his face that the chameleon found it difficult to turn away.
Darn that Charmy. It was always his fault.
"Fine. Let's see what we have here." Espio tentatively grabbed the paper in his left hand, expecting it to blow up in his face. Running a quick glance over it, he realized what the paper with the distorted penmanship really was.
"You…wrote a story?"
"Yep!" Charmy confirmed happily. "I want to be a writer when I grow up!"
"A writer?" Espio raised an eye ridge at the statement. "But just yesterday you told me you wanted to be a fireman…right before you decided to set my tail on fire so you could practice."
"Oh, I know! I changed my mind. I want to be a writer!" Charmy raised a fist up into the air, emphasizing his proclamation. "After reading all those cool Harry Potter stories, I thought I should try making stories too!"
Oh yeah, Espio recalled. He remembered Charmy reading those books, for they were the only times there would be peace around the place. It was the first time the kid ever read a book the whole way through. Espio wished he could meet the author of those stories so that he could give her his undying thanks for letting him have those rare moments of solitude.
"But I'm not sure about it," the bee said, his enthusiasm going down a peg. "I was writing it when you were having your nap."
No wonder why I was having such peaceful sleep, Espio thought.
"I think its already an awesome story, but maybe I should have someone look it over. So, uh…can you please read it, Espio?" Charmy put on his puppy-dog expression again.
"Okay, okay," Espio reassured. Then he gave a small smile. "I'm sure it's a fine little story you wrote."
Charmy was shouting in glee, his fervent excitement taking over again. "Thank you, Espio! Maybe I can even get this published! I'll be just as awesome as that J.K Rooling author!
"It's Rowling. And just calm down already. I…can't really read when I'm distracted."
"Oh right. Sorry. I'll be quiet." The bee made a visible effort trying to be quiet, putting on a solemn and stern face which did not exactly work as his sides began shaking with restrained mirth that would burst at any moment.
Espio sighed, then pulled up the piece of paper to his face, preparing himself to read the story. He caught sight of the title which immediately made him halt in his action.
Sonic vs. The Big Mound of Cheese
…
…
Well…that was new.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Charmy asked, seeing Espio's perplexed expression.
The chameleon looked up from the paper to the bee. "Nothing. It's just…quite an interesting title you have here."
"Yeah, I know! Isn't it awesome?" shouted the bouncy insect. "Oh, and can you read it out loud so I can hear? Thanks!"
"Um, okay," Espio complied. "Alright, let's continue then. Sonic… versus the Big Mound of Cheese by Charmy Bee."
"Yay!" the mentioned bee applauded, clapping his hands.
Espio merely sighed and continued on with the already odd story.
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Once upon a time, in the fabled land of Station Square…
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"Wait a minute," Espio interrupted. "Once upon a time?"
"Well…isn't that how all stories start?" Charmy questioned.
"Never mind," said the chameleon and resumed reading.
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…There lived a hedgehog who went by the name of Sonic the Hedgehog. He was hyper fast and was one of the best like that of the incredible Charmy Bee! (A/N: Hey look! It's me! Charmy Bee! Isn't this awesome? And that rhymed too!)
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"You put in an author's note?" Espio said suddenly to the bee. "Why?"
"Because I couldn't help it! Besides, it's cool looking. Now keep reading and stop interrupting! We're getting to the good part!"
The chameleon grumbled, now wishing to get this over with.
---------
So one fine and sunny day, Sonic went running off through the bustling city, zigzagging through the streets. Not too long ago, he had just defeated a super enormous robot, the mutant ninja turtles, Harry Potter, and a whole team of teenage girls who could transform into sugary cat-like superheroes. (Go Mew Mew Power!)
Sonic defeated them all in one hour. No! One minute! Without even breaking a sweat. So now he was running around without a care in the world, knowing he could defeat any bad guy that came in his way.
But he never expected the most baddest, the most evilest enemy there ever was. This will be Sonic's most devastating battle ever! And he never suspected it as he still ran along the highway. But then…it came.
BLAM! The ground right before his feet just shattered, almost making him fall into the earth. The hedgehog stooped in his tracks-
---------
"It's 'stopped.'"
"Huh?" Charmy voiced at Espio's interruption.
"You spelled the word as stooped," Espio pointed out, indicating with his index finger to the misspelled word. "It's only supposed to have one 'o' and two of the letter 'p.' The correct spelling is 'stopped.'"
"So?" the bee inquired impatiently. "Come on! Keep reading! The good part's coming up!"
---------
The hedgehog stopped in his tracks, already getting into battle mode to meet this new foe of his. But he could do it. After all, he was the most awesome hero! (Except to Charmy). After jumping back and doing a flip in the air, he landed expertly on his feet, crossing his arms as he grinned.
"Well, who's ready to take me on next?" he challenged with a strong tone of voice. (Cool! His first words in my story!)
---------
"You gotta stop with the author notes, Charmy."
"But I wanna keep them!"
"…Fine…"
---------
So Sonic waited for his new challenger, confident that he would win another victory as usual. It was so obvious. He could probably beat this new guy in thirty seconds.
….Or so he believes.
The ground erupted in a shower of concrete and gravel, the blue hedgehog dodging the debris swiftly, grinning in eagerness. After the rainfall of cement subsided, he stepped forward, peering into the wide, newly-made hole in the ground, seeing only deep darkness. "Is that it?" he asked, disappointed. "Geez, those Mew Mew Girls were more of a challenge than this."
But then a waft of thick odor rose from its depths, straight into Sonic's nose. Exclaiming in disgust, the blue hedgehog jumped back, covering his face with his gloved hands. "Oh my-! What kind of smell is that!"
And out came his most deadliest and vilest foe that has ever walked the earth. With oddly shaped arms and legs, it climbed out of the pit, its covering all rotten and gross looking (yet at the same time oddly delicious), dozens of holes decorating its frame, with a couple of patches of green stuff on the top of it. It was shaped like a weird triangle, squinty eyes peering from its mushy, disgusting mass. It opened its mouth in a great bellow, revealing sharp and jagged teeth.
It was a big mound of cheese.
DUN DUN DUN!
---------
Espio gazed at the paper in a blank stare, not sure if he was able to go on reading such…weirdness.
"…Why did you pick… cheese?" he plainly asked.
Charmy smiled, excited just to be asked the question. "Well, I was just eating some the other day. And today when you were sleeping, I got hungry and I was thinking about how much I wanted to go and eat some cheese. And then…I decided to write this! I remembered that it was real good cheese too when I found it underneath the refrigerator, all mushy and soft, but kind of funny smelling."
Espio made a disgusted face, turning a dull green in his cheeks. "You ate rotten cheese?"
"Yeah! But it was sooo good! You should try it! I think I saw some more in the garbage can earlier."
"…Ewww…"
---------
Sonic made a sickened face, still holding his nose from the rancor that the dairy product gave out to him. "Dang! It must be one of Eggman's mutant experiments gone horribly wrong!"
The giant cheese monster frowned with its mouth, dripping yellowy-greenish goo as it began to melt in the hot, glaring sun, creating an even worse smell. The street was completely abandoned except for the two combatants, everyone having left after seeing--and smelling-- the giant cheese.
"Now it is time for you to die, Sonic the Hedgehog!" bellowed the evil cheese. (Yes, that's right! The cheese can talk! Freaky!)
"The cheese can talk! Freaky!" exclaimed Sonic, his voice muffled by his hands which he still kept over his face.
"Behold the power of cheese!" the monstrous food declared, giving off a roar like one of those T-rexes from Jurassic Park. (Didn't you love that movie!)
"Hold on a sec, (cough), gimme a (gasp) minute here…" Sonic turned around swiftly, away from the direction of the food product, then just as quickly swiveled back again. A thick scarf was wrapped around his muzzle which he had tied around his face to block out the rancid smell. He could breathe again!
"Now I'm ready to take you on, you food reject!" Sonic shouted in a secure voice, shaking his fist in the air.
"Prepare to meet your demise, pathetic hedgehog!" And then the cheese monster plunged toward its blue prey, great maw open as saliva slithered from its jaws, making sticky, mushy footprints on the road as it moved.
Sonic crouched low in a battle position, knowing that he got this fight made. The cheese monster reached out a melting hand to the blue one who in turn prepared a spin dash to counter.
But then he remembered something extremely important that made his quills stand on end in horror.
Sonic the Hedgehog was lactose-intolerant.
---------
"Lactose-intolerant?" Espio interrupted in the story-telling once more. "Where did you get that?"
Charmy put on a thoughtful face, a rare occurrence for the young bee. "Well, I remember that last Christmas when we were all having that party, Sonic was eating chocolate chip cookies…without milk!"
"Is…that so wrong?"
"Well duh! What kind of person eats cookies without milk? They go together! So he has to be lactose-intolerant! Also, when we all went out for burgers at the new Burger King place, everyone ordered a cheeseburger…but Sonic ordered a hamburger! A plain hamburger! Don't you see? It can only mean that he can't eat cheese or drink milk because he would get sick. So the only explanation there can be is that he is lactose-intolerant!"
Espio remained silent, regarding the bee with a mystified expression. "…You've thought a lot about this, haven't you?"
"Maybe."
"But I remember him eating pizza once. And pizza has cheese in it," Espio reaffirmed.
"Yeah, but do you remember what happened after that?" Charmy countered.
"Oh right," said the chameleon, recalling how that particular day Sonic went straight to the hospital and was unable to even move for a whole week. He always thought that it was really just food poisoning. (Thepizza joint having a particular reputation). But maybe Sonic was lactose-intolerant.
"So you're gonna have a giant, talking mutant cheese fight with Sonic?"
"Yeah! I never seen anything else like that before in a story!"
"And there are so many good reasons why…" Espio sighed.
---------
"Oh man! I completely forgot about my medical condition!" yelled the hedgehog as the big mound of cheese headed toward him with impending doom. He had never thought twice about it. All he ever had to do was steer clear of any dairy product and he was home free. But here was this giant piece of rotting and foul-smelling cheese that was about to squash him flat. Heck, it wanted to kill him!
"Shoot! They knew my one weakness!"
In lightning-fast pace, Sonic zipped out of his spot, just able to avoid a thick and disgusting end of being smothered in melted goo. The monster lifted its squinty eyes toward its running victim, letting out a disgruntled growl.
"Go ahead! Just try and catch me!" Sonic taunted, grinning smugly. No way that big and slow mushy creature could ever catch up to the fastest of all hedgehogs.
Then the cheese monster spread out his arms and pieces of its melting body shot straight out toward Sonic like bullets, flying through the air, bringing its terrible stench along for the ride.
"Whoa, I did not know it could do that," Sonic quietly said. Then with a frightened yelp, he dodged each of the flinging pieces of cheese, hitting instead the walls of the tall buildings and the lampposts. The whole area was smothered in slippery cheese, the air tainted with its smell. He couldn't let none of that substance touch him, or he was doomed. But so far, everything was going fine. All he had to do was find a way to beat the monster without touching it. Simple, no? He could do one of his spin tornadoes and send that monster straight up into the air. Ha! Perfect!
But then, the unthinkable happened.
He tripped.
"Oh noooooo!" (Slow-mo action).
Sonic fell headlong into the cement, impacting his skull so hard that he thought a part of it cracked. The scarf tied over his mouth fluttered away on the wind, bringing with it the cheesy smell to his nose. Gasping and choking, it was already too late to escape his fate when the gushy cheese creature stood before him, ready to shroud him in its substance. It let out an evil cackle before it descended onto the screaming hedgehog.
Is this the end of Sonic the Hedgehog?
---------
"Is this the end of Sonic the Hedgehog?" Espio read aloud. His eyes had the most confused look ever. Of course, he was reading a story about Sonic getting devoured by a giant mutant piece of cheese. Who wouldn't be confused?
Charmy clapped his hands enthusiastically like a trained seal at Sea World. "This is the best part! Keep reading!"
"I should probably show this to Sonic one day," Espio muttered to himself as he resumed to reading. He didn't expect what would happen next.
---------
"Aw man. What an embarrassing way to die!" Sonic could see his life flashing before his eyes, all going in super fast speed. Was this really it? He saw the cheese monster descend upon him and could feel himself getting sick. This really was it…
But then there was hope!
DUN DUN DUN!
Charmy Bee came to the rescue!
---------
"Wait, what the-?" Espio sputtered out.
"Keep reading," Charmy demanded, seeming to at last run out of the patience for the constant interruptions.
---------
Sonic glanced upwards to find the handsome bee fly toward him, transparent wings fluttering rapidly. The gallant hero seemed to be shining with an ethereal light, his face showing great courage and valor. A bright golden cape swayed behind him, catching the updraft of the flight. Now there's a hero for ya!
"Stop right there, evil cheese of doom!" shouted the incredible Charmy in a commanding voice. He landed next to the downtrodden Sonic, ready to protect him with his life. The cheese monster gazed down at the bee with contempt, and laughed in open ridicule.
"Ha ha ha! What can a puny thing like you do to me?"
Charmy raised a hand up into the air, eyes shining bright. "This!" And at that moment, thousands of furry little creatures poured into the streets from hidden nooks and crannies. Their cute little squeaks reverberated in the region, pink tails swishing in their trails. The place was being overrun by mice. Why? Because Charmy had the ability to control rodents. Yes he did. No questions asked.
Charmy lowered his raised hand to point a finger to the cheese monster who was now recoiling in horror. "Go get 'im, my loyal mice followers!"
So then in a tirade of little bodies and overriding of squeaks, the army of mice made their way to their prize who tried to run away, but being so big and made of cheese this was a problem.
"No! Have pity on me!"
But its cries were soon quieted as the mice swarmed over the cheese, devouring its gushing substance until it was completely eaten, vanished without a trace. Sonic the Hedgehog was saved from certain death, and it was all thanks to the wondrous Charmy Bee!
"Wow, thank you so much!" Sonic said in gratitude to the heroic bee.
"No need to thank me!" Charmy said modestly. "All in a day's work to help the helpless innocent victims of helplessness!"
(Help…helpless…helplessness…Man, I'm good!)
And then Charmy was awarded ten-million dollars for his heroic efforts from the city and was named official hero of the world, with Sonic the Hedgehog as his loyal sidekick.
The End! (First completed story! Whoo!)
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"…That was a quick…and weird ending," Espio thought aloud, his eyes still fixed onto the written paper, seeing several hand-drawn smiley faces next to the words The End.
"How'd you like it? It was good, wasn't it?" Charmy was bouncing up and down with hyperactive joy as he moved around the room. "I can't wait to show it to Vector when he comes back!"
"…Yeah, me too," whispered the chameleon in a deadpan voice as he imagined the crocodile basking in the sun in supreme relaxation. The traitor…
"So, what'd you think of it?" the bee asked, eyes wide in such cute fashion.
"Err…it was…interesting…and certainly…unique. Although the ending felt kind of rushed to me," Espio answered truthfully with his opinion.
"Yeah I know. But I really wanted to finish it up since I was getting all hungry. Hey, do we still have any of that cheese left?" Charmy glanced underneath the couch and several chairs in his search for the condiment.
"So, your gonna write any other stories later?" Espio asked, glad that the young child finally had a productive hobby that was able to occupy him for at least one quiet hour. Perhaps he might be able to take another peaceful nap…
"Oh, I don't want to be a writer anymore," replied the bee, picking up a piece of lint that he found on the floor.
"You… don't?" The chameleon was crestfallen, seeing his dream of serenity fly out the window.
"Nope." The bee turned around to meet the reptile, a moldy piece of cheese in his hand. "I want to be a cheese maker!"
"A cheese maker!"
"Yep! I'm gonna make the best dang cheese in the whole entire world!" Eating the way expired substance from his hand, the bee grinned and started to laugh as the idea made its way into his brain.
"Ugh, I need a vacation," Espio pleaded. All he knew was that he didn't want to be around when Charmy started on his cheese project. Images of the entire detective agency being covered in the mushy foodstuff nearly set him vomiting. What was he going to do? He could not count on Vector, that's for sure. Not even Mighty who had mysteriously left two years ago. Hearing Charmy rattle on his quest for creating the best cheese on the planet, he felt all his hopes drain away.
The chameleon glanced down at the paper he still had in his hand, spotting the ridiculous title.
Sonic vs. The Big Mound of Cheese
…Hey…that gives me an idea.
Ding dong!
"Coming!" Jumping over any overturned chairs and a bunch of other home stuff laid carelessly on the hardwood floorboards, Sonic made his way over to the door of his apartment, a half-eaten chilidog in his hand. (Having just been interrupted from his lunch). Though the hedgehog usually went out for a run for most of the day, today he decided to take a nice relaxing rest at home. So far it had been quite a pleasant time. Thinking that it was Tails who was at the door since the fox had called earlier that he would come over, Sonic ran to the entrance in quick stride and flung it open with his hand on the doorknob.
"Hey Tails! How are-?… Oh, Espio. I didn't know you were coming."
"Hey Sonic," the chameleon greeted, having a most pleasant smile on his face, shifting the sunglasses on his face to a better position.
The hedgehog was staring at him oddly for it was rather strange to see the chameleon in such rare attire. Espio had on a bright colored shirt, palm trees decorating the front. Dark-tinted shades framed his eyes, along with a straw hat over his head. Clutched in his right hand was a brown suitcase with stickers plastered all over it with the words "To Hawaii or bust."
Just add in a camera hanging by his neck and he would have looked just like one of those annoying tourists.
"Hey, you going on a vacation?" Sonic asked.
"Yeah. I've been needing one for a long time," Espio replied, the thought of laying down on the warm beach already setting him at ease. "But I got this one problem I need you to help me with."
"Sure. What'd you need?"
"I need you to take care of…my pet. Yeah, I can't bring him along."
"Oh cool, you got a pet?" Sonic smiled. "Sure I'll take care of it. No problem."
"Great! Thanks, Sonic." Espio turned to his left, his eyes fixing on someone further down the hallway. "Hey Charmy! Get over here!"
"Whoa! Wait! You didn't say anything about Charmy!" Now Sonic had this look of utter terror in his green eyes.
"You said you would help. You can't go back on your word!" the chameleon argued back, because he knew he needed this vacation more than anyone else.
"Hiya Sonic!" shouted the gleeful bee, buzzing in the air. "We're gonna have so much fun!" He was pushing a large wheelbarrow across the floor with squeaky wheels, all full of the product that Charmy had become so obsessed over recently.
You guessed it. Cheese.
"Guess what, Sonic? You're gonna be my official cheese taster! Espio told me you weren't lactose-intolerant like I thought you were. That makes me so happy!"
"What! No no no! Stay back! Espio!" The hedgehog turned accusing eyes at the chameleon.
"Sorry, Sonic," Espio voiced. "You'll understand one day." Then faster than the eye could blink, the chameleon disappeared.
"Hey!" Sonic searched for the reptile in vain, cursing the lizard's camouflage ability. He tried to go out the door, but Charmy and his wheelbarrow full of cheese blocked his way.
He stepped back, eyeing the dairy products in high fear. "Okay, Charmy. Look, if you walk away right now with that wheelbarrow, I…will give you this chilidog!" He held up the snack for temptation.
"That's okay, Sonic. I don't really like chilidogs that much anyway," the bee answered politely. "But I got something better for you!" Charmy grasped a piece of the stinky cheese, holding dangerously close to Sonic's face. "Eat it!"
"No! I can't eat that!" Sonic stepped back swiftly, which resulted him in tripping over the carpet. He fell to the floor, completely vulnerable.
"Come on! What's the worse that can happen?" Charmy asked innocently, bringing the cheese closer and closer to the hedgehog.
Unfortunately, Sonic opened his mouth to speak which at that moment Charmy took the opportunity to shove the piece of cheese into the blue one's mouth. "How is it? It's good, right?"
Sonic couldn't answer, feeling his stomach turn.
Five minutes later, ambulance sirens could be heard racing down the street to bring a sick, little hedgie to the emergency room.
For Sonic the Hedgehog was indeed lactose-intolerant.
Behold the power of cheese.
I have no idea, really. Oo; I like cheese though. See how weird this is?Leave a thought about my weirdness pretty please. :D