Sugar and Spice

Chapter Fifteen

(Disclaimer: Sadly, I am making no profit whatsoever off of this story.)

XxX

"I will not let you take me again, Malfoy." Hermione hissed, her eyes cold and filled with hatred. "Leave me be."

"I will, Miss Granger," Lucius said, his face close to hers, their eyes glaring at one another. "But it shall only be temporary."

With those last words, he Apparated away, leave Hermione to glare at nothing.

XxX

Severus realized that Hermione was no longer behind him the moment he stepped into the crisp night. He calmed his appearance as he searched for her, hiding his apparent worry and cursing himself silently for not keeping an eye upon the Gryffindor. Hermione was, after all, the only female Death Eater other than Bellatrix Lestrange, and she wasn't bad looking at all. A fool he was for not keeping track of her.

He finally spotted her speaking quietly, but fiercely to Lucius Malfoy. An odd feeling of worry spread through Severus, but he controlled himself to not go and curse the Malfoy to death. She watched him Disapparate, turned on her heel and met eyes with Severus.

Hermione made her way over to her professor, still fuming and slightly shaken aback by her previous encounter. Merely looking into those cold, grey eyes sent memories of that horrible night shooting through her. All she had wanted to do was escape the gaze of that wretched man. Hermione was thankful to be standing next to Severus now.

"I hope you'll explain yourself when we reach my chamber. Afterwards I think some tea is in order." Severus said, looking straight ahead as they walked side-by-side towards the castle.

As the two entered the castle, Hermione felt once again at home. Severus held open the vast oak door for her as she stepped inside, muttering a word of thanks. An odd tingle shot through her as their eyes met.

"Yes, sir." Hermione said. She was mentally exhausted, but refused to show it. "I think we should update Dumbledore beforehand…"

Severus nodded and turned a sharp corner, muttering 'sugar quills' to the gargoyle, who quickly sprang to the side, allowing the pair entrance.

Dumbledore was stepping away from his pensieve, shutting the cabinet and saying a locking spell. He smiled warmly as the two entered.

"Ah, Severus, Miss Granger, glad to see you both back so soon and looking quite well." Dumbledore said, greeting them kindly.

"Everything went fine, professor, Voldemort bought everything." Hermione said proudly.

"Miss Granger played an excellent role, headmaster," Severus said, surprising Hermione pleasantly, sending a blush to her cheeks and butterflies to her stomach. "She has been extremely helpful and a fast learner."

Dumbledore smiled. "We are indeed proud of you, Miss Granger. Rest well tonight knowing the first step is over and done with." He said. "It is now time for my troubled mind to rest, so I bid you both goodnight and sweet dreams."

The two Death Eaters took the hint, saying their goodbyes and taking their leave. Hermione couldn't believe how quickly this had all happened. First a way to find Severus, then becoming a Death Eater, then a spy, and now this confusing thing between her and Severus? It was odd going through all this with a person she could never confide in.

Hermione thought through that again. Things would be easier if they could tell each other things. Hermione knew that she'd certainly be more comfortable around him. She decided to put her new found 'plan' into action whenever the time was right.

Hermione followed Severus into his chamber, collapsing into on of his chairs with a moan.

"Undoubtedly you're tired, Hermione?" Severus said, putting a warm glass of tea into her hand. A goblet of fire whiskey was in his own.

Hermione grunted, sitting up straight, trying to waken herself from the tiredness, which echoed throughout her body. "You complimented me greatly in the headmaster's office, Severus," She said bravely. "Thank you."

"Tell a soul and there'll be severe consequences." He replied. Did Hermione just a trace of a playful smile?

"What? Are you afraid that your cold-hearted, bat-cave-dwelling, greasy-haired reputation will be ruined?" Hermione teased, sipping her tea.

"You couldn't possibly understand why I am the way I am, Hermione."

Hermione smirked, pulling her legs into her chair so that she was sitting Indian-style. "You yourself said that I am a fast learner, Severus." She said. "I think I would understand more than others would."

"Frankly, I think my motives are none of your business."

Hermione hid the slight hurt in her eyes. Things would defiantly have to change…

"Under certain circumstances, Severus, I think that you should learn to trust me."

"Under what circumstances?"

"I'm pretty sure I'm the only student you've taken into your private chambers, Severus. Even if it is only for matters of the Order, we're not exactly enemies anymore." Hermione said. "I've never given you a reason to not trust me." Severus was silent for a moment, looking at Hermione unsurely. "I'll tell you anything you'd like to know about myself. Anything." This was the chance Hermione had been hoping for…

"And what makes you think that I'd like to know about you?" Severus asked.

Know it or not, Hermione was asking a lot of Severus. To ask him to open up to her and explain his motives and reasoning to his behavior to anyone is a lot to ask of him, someone used to relying on himself and only himself. To confide in someone, a female student at that, was even more unusual for him.

Hermione shrugged. "Why not?"

Without warning, Severus plunged into his explanation, moving quickly. If Hermione wanted to hear about him, she'd best keep up. "Years of working for someone like Voldemort isn't going to make me as vulnerable as Dumbledore is." He began. "I joined originally to escape everything, thinking any guilt I felt would be crushed. That happened of course, but that does not mean I feel no emotion whatsoever. I am indeed a human being, believe it or not, and I do have feelings.

"I don't exactly chose to not express them, but in my 'Death Eater days,' if you will, I wasn't exactly a teddy bear. I learned that showing what one felt made one vulnerable. After seeing, watching, James and Lily Potter die, I realized that this was defiantly not what I had imagined it being. I confided in Dumbledore about my problem, whilst acting faithful towards Voldemort, and he allowed me to teach here and become a spy.

"When I began teaching, I was exactly as I am now. Some call me 'cold and heartless' which you now know is untrue. You see, if I were to express any sort of pity or sympathy towards others, I would get taken advantage of, hurt, walked-all-over and used." Severus was clearly finished, and turned away from Hermione, cursing himself for confiding in her.

"Do you regret talking to me, Severus?" Hermione asked, her voice soft and careful. She was now standing behind him.

It took him a moment to reply. "No." His voice was monotone.

Hermione certainly felt touched, honored even, that someone cold like the thought Severus had been, had confided in her. She felt an uncertain connection between the two of them. She reached out timidly, debating whether to comfort him or not.

Hermione tugged at his sleeve gently, turning him around to face her. "You're afraid of getting hurt." She paused waiting for him to berate her for making such an accusation. When the yelling never came, Hermione went on, not letting go of his sleeve. "We all are, Severus. We all have been. You have too, haven't you?" This was more of a statement than an actual question.

Severus never took his eyes off of Hermione's as he searched for any signs of distrust or lies.

"Her name was Arabella." He stated. "We dated for two years. She cheated. She said she loved me out of pure sympathy. I made sure to never let that happen to me again."

Hermione took a step closer, her eyes now filled with care. "That's why you are so stubborn about us."

"There is no us, Hermione." Severus said, looking down at her as the light from the fireplace danced in her honey-colored eyes.

"Because you're afraid of getting hurt." She whispered. "I promise to not hurt you if you promise to not hurt me."

They were now mere inches apart. Severus' eyes moved to Hermione's lips. With one arm around her waist, he pulled her in, their lips meeting timidly. Hermione felt her stomach do flips as she felt his tongue graze her lips for entrance. She granted this to him, his tongue darting in, exploring. As they continued, the heat between them seemed to grow. Severus pulled Hermione closer to him, now realizing how complete he felt with her against him.

The couple pulled apart, Hermione looking up at Severus with amused eyes.

"It wasn't that bad, was it?" Hermione asked, smiling lightly. The tension was certainly gone.

Severus didn't answer, seeing as it was apparent enough. He slowly removed his arms from her waist to refill her cup of tea. "You said you would tell me anything about yourself, Hermione. I intend to take you up on that offer."

Hermione raised an eyebrow, taking the cup of tea from Severus. "Ask me anything."

"What happened between you and Lucius?"

Hermione hadn't told anyone about her rape- Severus had found out by her rapist himself- and she certainly wasn't prepared for such a question. But she understood that he confided in her, so it only is fair that she do the same for him.

"As you already know, he raped me." Hermione said, her voice already shaky. The way his cold hands touched her still echoed through her, sending shivers through her body. "Know it or not, I made the Young Witches Honor Society last year and a banquet was held for those who were accepted. Draco Malfoy was, and his father decided to tag along to act like he supported his son. No one bothered to come on my part, so I was alone for most of the night.

"I soon got bored with the banquet and decided to step outside the building for some fresh air. Lucius had been pestering me all night, whispering nasty things into my ear about how supposedly attractive I was. He was clearly drunk. So when I was outside, he followed me. Panicking, I broke into a run. I was still in my dress and heels and I tripped, breaking my wrist. Lucius Malfoy raped me then, and when he was done, he merely strolled off, as if it was an everyday act he'd committed." Hermione felt tears prickle her vision. She fought them back quickly before continuing. "I've been having nightmares ever since and it's been hard for me to trust any male other than Ron and Harry."

Hermione let a tear leak out of her eyes, but held back the rest, and was surprised to feel Severus reach over and wipe it away with his thumb, cupping her cheek in his palm.

"You should head back to your dormitory." Severus whispered. "You can come by tomorrow night and we can review your Occlumency."

Hermione nodded, finally tearing her eyes away from his to exit his chamber, heading towards Gryffindor tower.

She trod upon, however, two very unlikely people heatedly snogging. Ginevra Weasley and Draco Malfoy were pressed up against each other, hands roaming freely and bodies full of lust. The painting of the bowl of fruits leading to the kitchens hung next to them. Though it wasn't the pear in the painting, something was defiantly being tickled. It took everything inside Hermione to not squeal and yell out to them. Instead, Hermione made her way to her dormitory and promptly fell asleep.

(A/N- I was going to end it here, but I think my faithful reader deserve a nice long chapter.)

Hermione had odd dreams that night. She was running again, down the same dark alleyway. She tripped, but didn't hit that pavement of break her wrist. Instead, someone caught her and pulled her up into a standing position. Hermione looked up into the eyes of the person who'd caught her, and found herself looking into the dark eyes of Severus Snape.

XxX

Hermione went about her daily routine the next day, happy as ever and searching for Ginny. She was dying to confront her friend about what she'd seen last night, but didn't see her in Transfiguration.

"Harry, have you seen Ginny?" Hermione asked at lunch that afternoon, sipping her pumpkin juice. "I haven't seen her all day."

Harry only shrugged, devouring his dinner whole.

With a sigh, Hermione got up from the table and exited at Great Hall, only before throwing a surprised Severus a flirtatious glance.

Hermione found Ginny asleep in the girl's dormitory, snuggled up underneath her comforter and snoring lightly.

Deciding not to wait, Hermione gently shook the fiery redhead.

"Hmmm, what do you want, 'Mione?" Ginny asked drowsily.

"I'd like to talk with you about a certain blonde-headed boy I saw you snogging last night."

Ginny's eyes widened considerably. "Hermione, I-"

"Let's go down to the kitchens and get some coffee and talk about it there, okay Gin?"

The youngest Weasley nodded, changed robes and followed her fellow Gryffindor to the kitchens. Hermione ordered them two coffees and got down to business.

"So how long have you two been so… cozy?" Hermione asked, raising an eyebrow and sipping her warm coffee.

"Ever since Harry broke up with me." Ginny said, looking into her coffee. "I was tired of going out with Harry, then not, then going out with him. It was tearing me apart. You were always gone and Ron's just plain stupid, so I had no one to turn to."

"I'm sorry about that, by the way-"

"Explain yourself later, but let me finish." Hermione nodded, gulping down the rest of her coffee and requesting more, along with two sandwiches. "So Draco found me in the library shortly after that and… well, all I can say is that there is a very thin line between love and hate."

"I know what you mean…" Hermione said, more to herself than Ginny.

"Okay, after you explain why you've been out so much, tell me what you meant by that."

Hermione took a deep breath and explained about her Death Eater business. It felt nice to confide in an other girl for once. But then it came to the part about her murmurings.

"What did you mean by that, 'Mione?" Ginny asked. "Have you got a Slytherin wrapped around your finger?"

Hermione blushed at Ginny's smirk. "I wouldn't quite say that…"

"So, who is it?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Have faith in me, 'Mione."

Hermione gulped. "Professor Snape."

Ginny gaped at her for a moment before smirking once again. "You really set your stakes high, don't you, 'Mione?" The brunette merely shrugged. "Now that I think of it, you two are a perfect couple. Snape is dark and sensitive and a teacher. Teachers always equal books and learning, which is simple a turn-on for someone like you, isn't it?"

Hermione smiled, nodding. "But things are moving achingly slow." She said. "I don't want to tell you much because I'd hate to ruin Severus' trust in me-"

"Oh, so it's Severus now is it?"

Hermione ignored Ginny, going on, "But I don't want to rush him. I guess I've always considered him different because he's the only professor who's challenged me at all."

Ginny's smirk turned into a wide smile. "I bet he's an animal in bed."

Hermione's eyes widened. "Ginny! I've barely kissed him and you're talking about having sex with him?"

"You never know, 'Mione."

Hermione downed the rest of the coffee, finished up her sandwich and stood to leave. "You should finish out your classes, Gin." She said. "It's never good to be behind."

"Out of bed, you mean." Ginny said, nudging Hermione in the side.

"You are horribly perverted, Ginny."

"You're the one dating a teacher!"

"At least I'm not snogging him in the hallways!"

Ginny was silent. "Point taken."

Hermione smiled, bidding her friend goodbye to enter her new favorite class- potions.

XxX

Giving in to his feelings had never made Severus feel so alive. The confidence the Gryffindor had in him amazed Severus to no extent, but he could help but find himself silently questioning her as to why she would be attracted to someone like him.

Severus was known as the greasy git from down under. People loathed and feared him. Hermione even had at one point. What about the last few weeks had changed her mind about him? After every horrible thing he'd done- rape, murder- he didn't think at all that he deserves an amazing witch like Hermione.

His last period class entered – Hermione's class – and Severus wrote down the notes needed for the potion they'd be brewing today.

"The potion I'm forced to teach you today is one the ministry requires. One I'd rather not teach and I don't get paid enough to do." Severus paused. "Today you'll be brewing the Queira Drought, or the Besoin Drought as they call it in France."

Hermione raised her hand. Severus waited a minute or two before calling on her. "What do you need, Miss Granger?" His tone came out annoyed as he meant it to.

"What does this potion do, professor?"

Severus smirked. "Does our insufferable know-it-all finally not know of a potion?" The Slytherin side of the room was smirking. All except for Draco, Hermione noticed.

"Actually I've heard of it," Hermione said in her own defense. "But I'm not sure exactly of its use."

"That makes me question what you do in your spare time, Miss Granger, because the Queira Drought is the aphrodisiac of the wizarding world." The Slytherins all burst into laughter. Hermione felt a blush creep to her cheeks and she looked down after sending Severus a hurt glance. She began copying down her notes silently.

Hermione knew that Severus was only putting on an act, as he had been doing for most of his life. But she hated only Ginny knowing of how she felt. She wanted him to be civil to her in public as he was to her in private. But Hermione had a feeling that that wouldn't be happening very soon.

XxX

After dinner, Hermione made her way to Severus' private chambers, muttering the password and entering after knocking.

"Good evening, Severus." Hermione said, setting down her books.

Severus looked up from the papers he was grading to meet her eyes. "Hermione, I apologize for my behavior in class today. You now know why I act like I do now and I have to show the Slytherin side of me sometimes."

Severus silently cursed himself. Giving excuses to a student? How much more can this woman change him?

"I understand, professor." Hermione said, sitting down and opening one of her books. "I'll let you finish grading."

Severus muttered a word of thanks and returned to mercilessly grading the fifth years' essays on Veritaserum.

Hermione got lost in a new fantasy novel she found hidden in the library. She found herself being captivated by each and every word in the sentence until she was sure she was part of the story. She felt the mist surrounding her; her heart beating faster with each page-turn as each feeling got more intense.

That is, until Severus interrupted her.

"Hermione, I'm done." He said. Hermione jerked her head up, coming back into reality. "Let's get this over with."

XxX

(A/N- I know, I know, a crappy ending. But this has been the longest chapter I've ever written. It's taken me hours to write. It's 5:30 A.M., I'm exhausted and I'm begging for reviews. Reviews updates!

And many, many thanks to my new beta-er, TheTieThatBinds, who helped me make this chapter actually work.)