Author: Emrys
Rating: I'm going to say for teenagers.
Warnings: None right now. Maybe language later on.
Spoilers: Aurora, Trinity, Conversion
Summary: Were those pods really safe? Post-Aurora. Oh yeah, and shameless Shep whumping
Disclaimer: I don't own anything! Especially not any of the characters or situations regarding Stargate Atlantis. Please don't sue! I'm serious…I don't own anything!
Author's Note: Oh, I shouldn't be doing this. One, I'm in the middle of writing another fic. Two, Titan5 is going to have a few things to say when she finds this. Three, I'm sick as a dog right now, and I'm not sure of the quality of the following work.
But I couldn't resist!
Oh, and I don't know anything about chess (hanging my head here).
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"Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
"What the hell were you thinkin', lad?" Beckett's voice was filled with dismay as he berated a seriously chagrined John Sheppard. "I thought I told you to take it easy, and instead I find out ye're crawlin' around in virtual realities! What are ye? Daft?"
John opened his mouth to defend himself but instead was interrupted by the raving tones of Rodney McKay who sat opposite him on another gurney in the infirmary.
"How many times do I have to tell you? It was a virtual environment! Besides, it was perfectly safe!" Rodney insisted.
"Yeah, what he said!" John pointed at the physicist and smiled charmingly.
"Besides, why should he listen to anything you say? I mean, any time I have to tell him something important he just stares into space. If he's not willing to listen to me, what makes you think he's going to even look in your direction?"
John gave Rodney a sharp look and then placed his head in his hands. This so wasn't going to go well.
Carson closed his eyes in a feeble attempt at pooling together the last vestiges of his patience. "All I'm saying," He growled in a scary rumble, "is that it wasn't too long ago that ye were lyin' in a hospital bed fighting a pretty nasty wraith retrovirus." Beckett paused at John's visible flinch in reaction to the memory. Sheppard did not like to dwell on the whole "bug-man incident" as he liked to call it. But it was a doctor's job to make sure that his patients considered their health, and so he pressed on in a more soothing tone. "Colonel, it stands to reason that ye should give a thought to your physical condition before recklessly hoppin' into alien technology."
"Hey listen! It wasn't reckless! Besides he did it too!" Sheppard pointed with juvenile glee to McKay in the hopes of directing some of the doctor's attention off of himself.
"I keep saying it was safe, don't I?" Rodney fumed. "Why is it that no one listens to me? You blow up one solar system and…."
"Okay, enough!" Beckett had reached the limits of his patience. "Gah! I dinna know how the two of ye are still alive at the rate ye're going. Ye're damn lucky, that's all I have to say!"
"So we can go?" John met Beckett's eyes hopefully.
"Aye, both of yer brain patterns are within normal parameters, so I imagine it would do us all a world of good if ye both returned to your duties." Beckett's voice was filled with resignation. There was no way either one of the two idiots would ever heed a word he had to say. It just wasn't in their nature.
Recognizing the end to Beckett's stormy mood, John smoothly swung himself off the gurney and resisted the urge to tell Beckett that the doctor on the Daedalus had said the same thing. Now that escape was so close, it wouldn't do to get the doctor's feathers all ruffled again.
Unfortunately, Rodney was not so considerate.
"Colossal waste of time! Do you know how much work I have to do? I mean, why you insist on running a second exam on us when one of your own colleagues has already cleared us is beyond me!"
"Rodney…" Sheppard's tone was one of tight warning.
"No, really. I mean what good is having more than one doctor at our disposal if they're not going to listen to each other!"
Sheppard eyed Beckett's purpling face and carefully steered McKay towards the infirmary doors.
"McKay, I think we'd better leave now." The Colonel was now watching the doctor in the same wary way that he did the Wraith.
"I have a mother already, for pity's sake!" McKay seemed oblivious to his danger, and Sheppard was seriously considering leaving the physicist behind so that he could make his own, hasty escape.
But being forced to duck away from an airborne bedpan seemed to put Rodney on to the fact that he had overstepped some boundaries.
"Now that was totally uncalled for!" he yelled before scampering out of the infirmary and towards the relative safety of his lab.
Sheppard turned to stare incredulously at Carson. Beckett was usually a tower of professionalism, and John could not believe that the man had actually tossed a bedpan at McKay.
"Believe me, if I wanted to hit him, I would have," Carson explained with a smile. "But if I gave him a concussion, I'da have to listen to him for three days. Missin' was the only way I could think to get rid of him fast."
Sheppard smiled conspiringly. "Believe me, Doc, I know how you feel," he admitted.
Carson's smile quickly sobered. "Go on now. Ye have a briefin' to attend. But dinna hesitate to call me if ye need to."
"Okay, Doc. It's a deal." Sheppard offered agreeably. "But I think Rodney was right. It seems like that virtual reality pod was safe. I'm fine."
"Alright, then. Off with ye. Ye and Rodney aren't the only ones with work to do, ye know!" Beckett's smile returned, and John did as his doctor told him.
888
Caldwell was his usual annoying self at the briefing, but the champagne was good. Alcohol was a luxury that they so rarely indulged in but paying tribute to the lost crew of the Aurora was right. John felt the twinges of pain that accompanied the memories of the Aurora's crew ease a bit with the toast, and he was in a fine mood afterwards.
It wasn't until after a quick dinner with his team, when he was playing chess with Rodney in the physicist's quarters that things began to go to hell.
He had just moved his knight to a defensive position around his queen when suddenly Rodney's voice was slicing heavily through his concentration.
"…long are you going to just sit there? I mean, I know that I'm an intimidating opponent, and it's obvious that I'm going to win this game, but you have to move sometime."
John looked up at Rodney's slightly irritated gaze and narrowed his eyes in confusion.
"What are you talking about?" he asked.
"You know, I really wish you'd stop the whole ignoring me bit. It was annoying on the Daedalus, but now it's getting downright infuriating."
"Rodney, seriously, I don't know what you're talking about," John said, becoming irritated himself.
"Never mind," the physicist sulked. "Just go."
"But I just went," John insisted. "It's your turn."
"What are you talking about? I just moved a pawn. It's your turn." Rodney's face relayed his own confusion and growing impatience.
John studied the board and realized that Rodney was right. Somehow McKay had moved a pawn without his noticing it.
"I don't understand," Sheppard said, vacantly. Vague uneasiness drifted through him, and he realized that something didn't feel quite right.
"It's easy, Colonel," Rodney said, being purposefully condescending. "I make a move, and then you make a move. Now since I just went it's your…."
"Rodney, something's wrong," John interrupted the other man. His voice was unaccountably weak, and the feeling of wrongness escalated.
"Sheppard?" Rodney asked, now concerned. He made a move towards the Colonel when suddenly the John's eyes rolled into the back of his head. Twitching violently, John's body crashed to the floor. His hand hit the chessboard on the way down, and Rodney had a moment to be amazed that only Sheppard's knight fell out of place. Afterwards he was too busy trying to keep Sheppard from hurting himself while simultaneously contacting Beckett on his radio to notice much of anything.
John's body rolled in the throes of a violent seizure, but he knew none of this. His mind was elsewhere.
TBC…