...Let me break that down for your simple, moronic, mortal mind: I shall voice my opinions on pairings including me and... other people. WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT! Yesssss... no one is worthy of me... some are lucky to be a small percentage in my eyes...
Let's look at the most common ones... Strangely, they happen to be yaoi. (wow that kinda rhymed) You people must be more touched in the head than I am. And that's saying something, because I've killed over 200 people at least, and all of them said that I was insane at least one time. (okay, most of them said that A LOT more times, but I don't care, for they all died in the end... kukukuku...)
-- Bakura X Ryou - tendershipping --
Likely to come true on a scale of 1 - 10: 2.5
Corruption of mind on a scale of 1 - 10: 9.99999
Analyzation:
Hmm... by your modern standards, Ryou's hot. By MY standards, he's still hot. Why? Because he frigging looks like me, and saying that he's NOT hot would be insulting myself too. There seems to be a lot of fics in which I beat Ryou up - or rape him - or in some other way hurt/torture him. And after all that, he still loves me... CAN YOU PEOPLE NOT HAVE SOME COMMON SENSE! Believe it or not, Ryou's half sensible, and he knows that hanging around a maniacal, insane, immortal, king of thieves does NOT do good to your health.And this pairing gives new meaning to dirty thoughts. Tch. Children these days. I suppose it would look cute to see two hot guys walking down hand in hand or something... BUT I WAS NEVER ONE FOR CUTENESS. Bleck. Hate this pairing.
-- Bakura X Yami - darkshipping --
Likely to come true on a scale of 1 - 10: 0
Corruption of mind on a scale of 1 - 10: 7
Analyzation:
You people NEVER cease to amaze me. How many
times do I have to tell you? I HATE THE FUCKING PHARAOH! HIS DAMNED SO
CALLED ROYAL BLOOD MURDERED MY VILLAGE! If that's not a good reason to
hate him, I don't know what is. I WANT TO SEE HIS BLOOD PAINTED ON MY
WALLS! I WANT HIS HEART FED TO THE PIG! I WANT HIS BRAIN FED TO THE
BIRDS! Do I make myself damn clear? UGH! -shudders- Me and... him...
THAT'S JUST SCARY! NOT RIGHT!
Let me break that down for you: I HATE HIM WITH A FIREY RED BURNING PASSION.
Enemies SHALL NEVER accept each other. Even after 3000 years. NEVER! I SHALL SLOWLY MURDER HIM.
-- Bakura X Malik - thiefshipping --
Likely to come true on a scale of 1 - 10: 4.1
Corruption of mind on a scale of 1 - 10: 7.5
Analyzation:
One of the VERY VERY few pairs that even have a
chance of coming true. Malik is one of the even FEWER people I can
stand to be alone with in a room for 3 minutes ...But he's still a dumb
blonde. AND he comes from another vein of the royal line - the TOMB
KEEPERS! I am a tomb ROBBER - he is a tomb KEEPER. Let me tell ya,
those clans don't bode together very well.
And that is all I have to say on the matter, oh, did I mention I HATE the line of tomb keepers?
-- Bakura X Ryou X Malik - tornshipping
--
Likely to come true on a scale of 1 - 10: 2.4
Corruption of mind on a scale of 1 - 10: 9
Analyzation:
First of all, threesomes are just stupid. And I
sense angst from this... a loooooot of angst. I hate angst. Why be
moody about something when you can just KILL IT or fucking do something
about it instead of sitting around not doing a SINGLE DAMN THING! I
suppose it would be me with Ryou at the start, but then I leave him for
some frigging reason and then Malik comes along and makes Ryou happy
again? And I come back and find Ryou and Malik in bed, and... haha...
this and that and... I STILL HATE TOMB KEEPERS!
-- Bakura X Touzoku-ou Bakura - geminishipping --
Likely to come true on a scale of 1 - 10: 5
Corruption of mind on a scale of 1 - 10: 8
Analyzation:
First of all, it is HIGHLY UNLIKELY that I would
be able to meet myself and come in acual physical contact with him...
me... whatever. But if by some of your 'strange fanfiction authoress
powers' that it would come true, then I suppose it has a decent chance
of coming true... I mean, I'm so hot, who wouldn't want to screw me? I
mean - him? Ugh, I'm confusing myself. But if he is me and I'm him then
screwing him would be like screwing me. And screwing yourself is just
wrong... so... -falls over from dizziness-
-holds up sign: 'I'm not narcissic!'-
-- Bakura X Seto - antagoshipping --
Likely to come true on a scale of 1 - 10: 3
Corruption of mind on a scale of 1 - 10: 7
Analyzation:
He's good looking, he's rich. Do I want to be
with him? No. HE WAS THE DAMN PRIESTS THAT WANTED ME DEAD! Well, I
wanted him dead too, but that doesn't count because I wanted ALL the
royal people dead. Besides, I've never even talked to the guy. O.o Have
you ever been to his mansion? I've snuck in once when I was broke, I
needed some money! Know what I saw? Him and that Joey person making out
in a pool of money. -.- They go at it like rabbits - anyway, I got a
good loot out of it though. I think I still have a couple of hundred
thousands in the bank. Bwah. Simple and plain? He's only good if you
want LOTS AND LOTS of money.
I think those are some of the most popular yaoi ones. BLAH. Anyway, next time, we'll try the het pairings. Honestly, I don't think much of them either. I SHALL LIVE AND RULE THE WORLD ALONE! Bwahahahaha...
If you want to know my thoughts on some other pairings, just press that little purple button on the bottom left... or is it right? Ra, I can never tell.. yeah it's left. Haha.