Yes, I'm reposting this story… since I got many mails telling me to do so and this story is one of my favourite stories… so, it's back!

Summary: Since the suicide of her father, Raven Roth lives an organized and unemotional life. But everything seems to change with the new neighbour, Richard Grayson. With his charm and wits he is able to get her out of her shell. But Richard seems to have a secret – a secret which could break Raven's heart all over again.

Enjoy the story!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything!

Live and Don't Think About Tomorrow

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Prologue:

1. Silent Night

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The Roth - household was filled with silence, the dark halls and bedrooms.

As the clock changed from 2:59 a.m, a shot rang out and everything instantly changed.

It was a December morning. When everyone had gone to bed the previous night, everyone expected the next morning would be filled with fighting over the bathroom, begging for an extra dessert in their lunch bags. No one could have imagined the lights, the sirens, the tears. For the Roth family, one minute changed their lives forever.

Raven the eldest daughter, she was 17, was asleep in her bedroom, her headset still on, although her CD had quit playing hours ago. A history book was lying open on her chest, and she was still dressed as she had been for school the previous day. The cordless phone was sitting beside her left arm; she had been waiting for a call when she fell asleep.

Josh the 1O year old boy and Mira the five year old little was peacefully asleep, their dreams full of Christmas, which were only a few weeks away. They were both wearing long sleeved pajama sets, and Mira had an extra blanket on her bed. As 3:00 approached, she rolled over to her other side, but did not awake.

Lastly, the bedroom of Arella and Brad Roth. The gentle hum of the heater lulled Arella to sleep, and she was sleeping with smile on her faces, not knowing that shortly, she would never feel this way again.

Brad Roth sat on the other side of their bed, tears pouring silently down his face.

He was depressed, though he wasn't sure exactly why, and as time passed, the more out of control he felt. It was as if the world was swallowing him, piece by piece, and it was already up to his neck. He had the world to be happy for. He had a wonderful wife, three wonderful children he loved more than everything, he was a successful lawyer.

But he still felt empty inside. Like he'd never be happy again. He thought this feeling would pass, but it had been months and it hadn't. He kept up appearances, but even that was being burdensome on him now. He was irritable with his children siblings, with his wife, with his clients, and he had no logical reason why.

His hand shook as she held up the gun. His wife would never allow keeping a gun in the house; he brought it from a man in the streets two days earlier.

He had no intention of using it; it was an impulse decision, now he guessed it was his subconscious at work. Part of him was screaming inside, it couldn't be this bad. Nothing was so bad that life had to end. But the other part was screaming that this depression, this misery wasn't going to be temporary, he was going to be like this forever, unsatisfied, stuck in a downhill spiral, just getting worse and worse until his entire life was miserable anyway. Without thinking, without justifying her actions, he lifted the gun to his head and pulled the trigger, just as the clock changed to 3:00.

The shot is what initially awoke the Roth family from their dreams, everyone's eyes popped open, startled by the noise. No one really moved until they heard Arella's terrified screams.

Arella's eyes had opened once she heard the click of the gun, just in time to see the tears on her husband's face, the look of horror as he pulled the trigger, and the blood that followed the shot. She let out several terrified, bone-chilling screams, although later she wouldn't remember this.

Brad Roth had instantly fallen, blood spraying the bedspread and wall.

His eyes were open and lifeless, his face barely recognizable after the impact from the bullet.

Arella was crying hysterically by the time anyone appeared in her doorway, covered in Brad's blood as she tried to find a pulse, tried to bring him back. She knew it was pointless, that nothing could be changed, but to admit it would be to accept it, and there was no way her husband could be gone, just like that.

Raven was the first to appear in the doorway, and as her pale face registered what was going on, she screamed loudly in pain, while blocking Josh's and Mira's doorway so they couldn't witness what was going on.

Raven pushed Mira and Josh into their bedrooms, "You can't go out there."

"What's going on?" Josh asked his face full of concern, "What happened?"

"Mom will tell you in a bit, first, I need both of you to sit down on Josh's bed and read a book. Josh, would you please read to Mira?" Raven asked, his voice shaking, her blood pumping so fast that she felt like she was going to faint. "Whatever you do, do not leave this room, do you understand me?"

"But what's going on? Why is mum screaming?" Mira asked, her eyes wide with fear, "Raven, I'm scared."

Raven kissed her forehead gently, "Don't be scared, okay kiddo? There's nothing to be scared of. Just stay in here and read a book, okay? Josh, I'm trusting you to be the big brother and do as I'm asking."

Josh, feeling honored to be entrusted like this from Raven and agreed, and in a very business-like tone, he took the book Raven offered to him and started reading out loud to his little sister.

"Josh? What's going on?" Mira asked softly, her eyes filled with tears, "I'm scared."

Josh wrapped an arm around her tightly, "It's probably no big deal. Don't cry, and don't be scared, everything's okay, Raven would have told us if it was something major."

Raven walked back into the hallway and she grabbed the phone on the nightstand, calling 911, and through silent tears, telling them she needed an ambulance immediately.

"He's gone." Arella choked out and then like nothing seriously happened, like she was another person she ordered calmly "Raven, take Josh and Mira into your bedroom. I'll wait for an ambulance."

Raven didn't move, and the room was silent "Now!" Arella barked, and the room sprang into action.

Raven, who had tears streaming down her face as well, her body numb and tingling, walked to Josh's and Mira's bedrooms and brought them to hers.

Raven laid on her bed, staring at the ceiling, tears still silently streaming down her face. It had been nearly two hours since she had awoken to see her father, sprawled out on her bed, lifeless, and she hadn't been able to stop the tears since. She had given up on trying talking to Josh or Mira, who had fallen asleep immediately.

She couldn't believe this was happening, her father was level-headed, he was calm and collected, most of the time, and he had a good sense of what was right and what was wrong.

The more she thought of it, the more she was certain that this couldn't be happening. Things like this didn't happen to her family, there was no way that just a few hours ago, she was eldest daughter of Brad Roth, and now not.

She'd wake up shortly to her alarm blaring music and find out this was just an awful nightmare. Her father couldn't be gone; she couldn't have a life without a father. The family wasn't the same without him. He was the one who had held them together. He was the one who assured them to let out all of their feelings and to share them.

As hard has she tried to deny what had happened, she knew that she was wrong.

If her father were still alive, if he didn't just kill herself, why did she have this lead sensation in her stomach? Why did she feel so...lonely? Why did she want to just curl into a ball and cry forever? This was real. This was happening. What was going to happen next? How could they move on from this? How could things ever go back to normal again?

She looked down at her siblings, who were lying on her bed

Things couldn't be normal again, they'd never be normal. They'd all remember this moment for the rest of their lives, a dark cloud over any future happiness.

How was her mum going to sleep in that room again, knowing what happened?

How would any of them even enter? How would they live in this house?

What would happen at school, at their neighborhood, will they all know what happened?

Will it change anything? Will anybody be affected by the death of her father? Probably not!

How could one person be so important in one place, and so meaningless in another?

She felt like she was going to throw up, although she made no motion to move, and was glad then the feeling subsided. She had never felt emotion this powerful before, this gut-wrenching and horrible. Sure, she was sad when her grandmother died, but that was nothing compared to this. This was her father.

She was his daughter, how could she have not known he was depressed? Suicidal? How could she have missed this?

Would she ever feel like herself again? Would she ever feel anything but this pain she was feeling now? Would she ever be able to smile again, to feel happy again?

Two years later

"Raven, would you please wake up Josh! He has to get ready for school!" a voice yelled from downstairs waking up a purple-haired woman.

Raven yawned and stretched slowly tangling her bare legs down her bed.

Her bare feet impacted with the cold floor and while she walked through her room towards the door kicking the clothes which where lying on the floor out of her way she shoot a glance at the mirror on her wall. She sighed at her reflection. She looked like shit. Her hair was messed up and there were dark rings round her amethyst eyes. As always she couldn't sleep well. Since tow years she wasn't able to sleep well.

Raven tore her glance away from her reflection ad walked out of her room to the room next to hers.

She knocked at the door slightly but opened it with a loud thud.

"Josh, wake up!" she yelled loudly to her 12 year old brother causing him to jump off from his bed.

Raven smirked at his dumfounded expression.

"I expect you downstairs in 10 minutes. Any minute later and you have to walk to school!" she said leaving his room before a sailing shoe could hit her.

"Stupid witch!" the brown haired boy said drowsily.

"I heard that!" His sister's sharp voice haled through his room.

Josh Roth rolled his honey-brown eyes. Raven always heard everything.

He crawled from his bed and searched some clothes he could put on. He eventually found a dark blue pair of jeans and a black shirt.

Putting on his socks he searched for his homework on his desk as his eyes fell on his calendar.

'One more week. One more week until…' the young boy shock his head and gathered his papers and books and grabbed his bag and walked downstairs to the big and clear kitchen.

Raven was already sitting on the table and drinking her usual cup of herbal tea and eating her slice of buttered toast.

Arella Roth stood in front of the stove and prepared tons of pancakes.

"Morning!" Josh mumbled and sat down on the breakfast table.

"Morning, darling!" Arella said cheerily.

Raven and Josh exchanged a glance. Both of them didn't know how her mother managed to be so joyful and happy day by day.

The night of the death of her husband was the last time they saw or heard her crying. She was always smiling – always happy. It was ridiculous.

Raven and josh had preferred if Arella had cried but this happy family façade was too much to take for both of them. But they played along nonetheless. Mostly because of their little sister…

"Mira sweetheart, please sit down and eat your pancakes. Do you want some juice?" Arella asked the black-haired girl with green eyes who walked down the stairs.

The girl sat down and only nodded.

Raven let out the breath she was holding. Every day was the same. Everyday the same hope that this time Mira would speak. But no single words came from Mira's lips. She refused to speak. For two years Mira didn't say a word. Since the fateful night she didn't talk, didn't cry, didn't scream.

And everything because of that night. Everything because of a cruel, selfish act.

Raven was angry – really angry! She closed her eyes.

'Calm down Raven! You know, emotions are useless. They are only causing pain. You don't need any emotions. You don't need them!'

She opened her eyes and stood up from her chair. "Josh, Mira we are leaving now!" she said in her monotone voice.

She grabbed her bag and took Mira's hand and left the house from the kitchen door which led to the backyard. Josh hastily swallowed the last piece of his toast and followed his sisters out.

Arella watched their children leave through the window. She heard the motor of the car roaring. She watched the car driving away before she fell on the floor and began to sob uncontrollably. Tears were streaming down from her dark-blue eyes to her cheeks. She silently sobbed and silently cried out the pain she had to hide from her children.

"You know Raven, you should really wear something else than black or purple. I could borrow you my new pink shirt. The one I brought yesterday at…"

"First of all Kori: I don't wear pink! So never ever again suggest that I should wear pink. Do you understand? Secondly, what is wrong with the way I look?" Raven asked her friend and looked down at herself. She was wearing a long black skirt and black boots and a dark purple sweater. Her long violet hair was up in a ponytail.

Raven looked back at her friend and for the millionth time she wondered how such completely different persons could be such good friends.

Kori Anders was a red-haired, emerald-eyed, happy, joyful, sometimes naïve, tall, slender, young woman. She was dressed in white pants and a pink tight shirt which revealed her belly button and parts of her flat stomach. Her long red hairs hung openly down her back.

She wore a smile for everyone who would come across her way. She was always happy, always smiling. She was what people would call sunshine.

Raven on the other hand was a purple-haired, amethyst-eyed, dark, mysterious, curvaceous, quite, exotic-beautiful woman. Raven's face rarely showed a smile.

A vicious grin? Yes! A small chuckle? Sometimes! A smile? Once in a million time! A laugh? Never!

Kori gave her friend a big smile while continuing their walk through the campus.

"No Raven, there is nothing wrong with your clothes. I just thought that a change would be good. That's all! But, have you seen Garfield? I thought he wanted to meet us!"

Raven turned her body to her friend Kori and began walking backwards while talking with Kori.

"He is waiting in the library. He wanted to meet us there. But you know how he is. He probably met a pretty girl and is now trying to impress her and totally forgetting about us. He… aaah!"

Raven hadn't paid any attention where she was waling or in what she was walking. So she didn't see the puddle of coke spilled at the pavement.

As soon as her feet made contact with the fluid she lost her balance and sailed backwards towards the hard pavement.

Raven closed her eyes and waited for the hard impact – which never came.

Instead, she found two strong arms being wrapped around her waist.

It felt strangely comfortable… she felt comfortable in these arms.

But nonetheless she struggled herself free from the strong arms and turned around to look into a face with two dark-blue eyes and a heart-melting smile.

The face belonged to a handsome young man who had black spiky hair.

Raven found herself staring at the face of this handsome man.

It lasted some seconds before she realized how close they were. She was practically laying in his arms. She blinked and took some steps away from the man.

Usually she would knock the stuffing off every guy who dared to come closer to her than a meter but this guy had saved her from a big embarrassment. So she thought it would be appropriate to thank him before screaming at him.

But before Raven could say anything she heard the guy speaking.

"Wow, I always knew that I was adorable and I am used that women are drooling over me, but I didn't know that I am so gorgeous that they would fall on their knees for me!" he grinned mischievously. "Vic, you should have told me much sooner that there are beautiful women her in Jump City who are literally falling from heaven. I would have moved here sooner!" The spiky haired man looked at his tall, athletic African-American companion who was standing next to him.

Raven glared at the confident young man and hissed angrily. "I am not falling on my knees for you! You arrogant jerk! And believe me you are not gorgeous!" with that she grabbed Kori's arm who had watched this scene bemused.

"Ts, ts, ts! She is not only beautiful but also impolite. I mean a 'Thank you' would be appropriate, wouldn't it?" He said still smiling.

Raven let her arms fall to her sides and faced the smiling young man. And with a forced smile which more looked like a grimace she said.

"Thank you for catching me…"

"Richard – my name is Richard Grayson!" he interrupted her.

Raven glared at him hoping her eyes would send a deadly beam and kill him.

"Thank you for catching me, Richard!" she repeated and then turned around and stormed away.

"Raven, wait!" Kori yelled after her friend but before following her she gave the two young men an apoplectic smile.

"Raven? That's her name! It's…nice!" Richard mumbled and smiled.

"Uh, uh, Rich! I know this smile and it means nothing good. Don't do anything you will regret. Don't hurt her and yourself!" Victor reasoned.

"Don't worry! I will just help her!" Richard answered back his gaze never leaving Raven's disappearing figure.

Victor Stone shock his head. Something told him that it won't be just helping and that he should be worried but he couldn't argue with Richard. Not now.

"Arrogant, vain ass! That's what he was! I should have kicked his ass. Argh!" Raven fumed as she and Kori entered the large library.

"Shhh!" a woman whispered putting her index finger on her lips.

Raven shot her a death glare and the woman hide herself behind a bookshelf.

"Raven, I think you should calm down. I don't see why are so mad. I merely found him annoying. He was kind of nice and…charming! I think you should have been nicer and…" Kori trailed off as she saw Raven's face turning red and she was more than happy to see their friend Garfield Logan waving his hands.

"Dudes, I am over here!"

They walked to the table Garfield was sitting at. Raven took a place across Garfield and Kori sat down next to him.

"Garfield, will you ever grow up!" Raven said in her sarcastic tone and looked causally at her friend.

Garfield Logan was good looking young man. He had blond hairs and green eyes. He was not really muscular but nonetheless he had a nice body. And although Raven didn't like to admitted but he could be funny at times. But she never would tell him that. Raven, Kori and Garfield had been friends since High School and this two are the only people who get to know her – at least they know her better than any other person.

"I will grow up when you stop being so moody and dark!" Garfield shot back.

"Friends, please stop this!" Kori said pacifying.

"Whatever!" Garfield said rolling his eyes.

"You know what! I just met this hot chick Terra and she asked me if I wanted to come to her party tonight and…"

"… and of course you couldn't disappoint her and said yes!" Raven finished his sentence.

"Yeah and I wanted to ask you guys if you want to come along?"

Kori's face lit up in anticipation. "That's wonderful. I will definitely come with you. Raven, you should come as well. We will have much fun!"

Raven shock her head. "As much as the thought of partying with a bunch of drunk and brainless people delights me I have to say no!"

"But Rave…" Garfield began to protest but was cut short by Raven.

"No, Gar! I don't want to come. I hate parties! End! Anyway, do you have learned-"

Garfield didn't really listen to the conversation Raven and Kori had began.

He really wanted Raven to come along. He wanted to see her have fun. Of all people she is the one who deserve to be happy and have fun. But unfortunately she had buried her self behind an emotionless mask. But more than anything else Garfield wanted to see the mask fall.

But no matter what he tried to make her happy nothing seemed to help. But he wasn't a man who would give up that easily. And one day he will be successful.

With this thought he joined his two friends in their conversation.

"Mum, I am back!" Raven yelled through the house as she entered the kitchen from backyards.

"We are in the living-room!" her mother yelled back and Raven walked to the living room.

"You know mum, today I met a … ahh!" Raven let out a yelp at the sight in the living room.

She glared at the sofa where a smiling Richard Grayson was leaning back.

"What are YOU doing here?"

"Sitting", he said and smiled at her which Annoyed her to the top. What was wrong with him?

"Do you have a Tracker on me or something!" she said loudly and threw her things to the side. "I can't believe that you followed me and…"

"Actually honey. This is our new neighbour, Richard Grayson and I invited him to stay for dinner", Arella said to her daughter.

Raven blushed. She was an even bigger idiot than she thought.

So, how do you like it?

Ok, most of you already know the story, but it would be still nice if you leave me a review… no matter how long the review is… you know, I'm practically begging here and just for you to know, I'm on my knees… ok, I'll stop here…

Until later,

Alena