This chapter is dedicated to:
Empath89 (my beta) Cameragirl (who made me get my butt in shape to write this) Anna (from Elsie's Barn (Which now hosts this story!)) And every other person who has told me to get on with it!
Chapter 4- Time Together (The song belongs to Adam Pascal)
I was wide-awake at six o'clock. I honestly did not think I would ever be able to wake up at six... I don't think I ever had before.
I woke up, took a shower, got dressed and ate a nutritious breakfast of Cap'n Crunch then I sat and played my guitar softly, waiting for the others to wake up. I actually got to see Collins get up. It was amusing. He tripped coming out of his room, then he almost tripped over a chair. He still looked asleep.
Angel walked out at 6:30, done perfectly in her nurse's outfit. I have no idea how anyone could just waltz out of a room, that early in the morning and look spectacular, but Angel as always, was.
"Ready to go?"
"Yep, lets go see Mark" I put down my guitar and followed Angel out the door.
I was forced to get a badge again, but this time I got a nice laminated one. The lady at the front desk was kind of scary. She knew all of my information. ALL of it. Needless to say I got away from her as fast as I could once I got the badge.
Angel met me in the hallway and led me to Mark's room, telling me he was asleep, so I slipped in to his room as quietly as I could.
He was sound asleep and didn't even twitch at the noise of the door closing. He used to be the lightest sleeper I had even known. I wouldn't be able to walk outside my room without Mark coming out of his room to make sure I was all right.
After my musing session I walked over to the bed and sat by Mark's chest. He must have sensed warmth because he curled around me. I didn't think it was that cold in the room, but I wasn't going to protest holding him.
I let him curl up around me and he ended up with an arm out in front of my stomach. I twisted around to move a piece of shaggy hair from his forehead, and my shirt rode up a bit. Before I knew it, I had four freezing digits on my side. Holy shit were his hands cold!
After moving his hand off my bare skin, I stood up.
Once the warmth had left the bed Mark curled up in a fetal position and started whimpering.
Quickly I took off my jacket and lay down chest to chest with Mark. He clutched on to my shirt and I place my arm around his waist and pulled him closer.
I stayed awake just watching him, taking in all of the details, some of which I had burned into my memory, some were brand new to me. Mark had really not changed that much, and for that I was glad. Mark had always been my constant, he was there through all of the break ups, he was there when heroine was not, hell he was there when I stumbled in at three in the morning, pissed off my ass and singing songs from West Side Story. Mark was always there. My Mark.
I just mused silently, rubbing his back and arms. After an hour or so, Mark started to wake up. He rubbed his face on my shoulder and picked his head up. He caught my gaze and slowly brought his now warm hand up and ran his fingers over my face like a blind man... Mark was kind of blind without his glasses...
I just stayed still until he got to my lips. When I felt the soft pressure on them, I brought my hand up to hold his still and kissed his fingers. Mark sucked in his breath and gave a shuttering sigh before he collapsed in my arms.
I had clasped my arms around the middle of his back when I felt wetness on my shoulder and his body shaking. It didn't take a genius to know he was crying.
I pulled him fully on top of me and rubbed his back soothingly for a couple of minutes, and then I started to sing to him.
"It's okay, you're not alone
You're on the luckiest star that's taken you far away
Did you know, that the rain in the yard has taken to going insane?
A little nuts...oh, a little lost
I know the story's getting old I know the time it takes to fall Sometimes it's all you need A kiss, a please, a wave goodbye, A dream, a drug, a kiss goodnight Sometimes it's all you need (1)
Mark's sobs had lessened and I knew he was listening, so I continued. I had written this song for a band member when they were going through depression, but now the song fit for Mark perfectly.
Once I finished my song, Mark had dried tear tracks on his face and puffy red eyes, but to me, he looked so raw, so real, and so beautiful.
"Why did you leave, Roger? You left me." The tears started again, and he was looking me straight in the eye.
"I came back, Mark" He nodded against my chest.
"Why did you leave?" Mark asked, searching my face for the answer. I put a hand on each side of his face and made him look me in the eye.
"I know it was irrational and irresponsible. I just couldn't stay here Mark! I'm not that strong! After Mimi's withdrawal, I thought I was going to loose my mind. I had to get out of the city. It wasn't like I had never done that before! It may not make much sense now, but at the time it was the perfect plan. I was going to leave for a while, get my ground back, and then come back here. What I didn't expect was to be playing in a cafŽ in California. I didn't expect for a record head to be drinking his daily coffee that morning. I didn't expect to be playing for an entire board of record producers later that day. I didn't expect to have a record deal two weeks later. Everything just went so fast!"
Mark and gotten off of me at some point of my explanation and I was now standing in the middle of the tiny room using big hand gestures as I spoke.
"I didn't sleep much at all for the first year. I was working so hard with my music. I always seemed to have something to work so hard for! Concerts, CD, hell, anything there is to loose sleep over I have done it! Every time I stopped working, I would start thinking. I would think about Mimi, April, the Loft, New York and you. Mostly you Mark! Do you have any idea the number of times I have sworn I have heard you say, 'Take your AZT' or just sworn I had seen you over at the other side videotaping something!"
I took a deep breath and waited for Mark to do his share of ranting, but it never came. I stood in place looking at Mark while Mark looked at the ceiling.
"God, I want my camera. Imagine the documentary I would be able to do on this place."
"That would be a different side of your usual films"
"Yah... but it would be cool"
That started our conversation. Now I was home. I had Mark talking about his ideas for documentary while I talked about music. I missed this more then I would ever admit.
I was sitting against the wall on the bed with Mark in between my legs when Angel walked in at eight.
She had a shocked look on her face, but after what Mark had been through, with him not liking to be touched by any but Angel herself, seeing him sitting with me must have been a new sight.
BeepBeepBeep
Both Angel and my beepers went off at the same time.
Mark jumped off my lap gracefully and left the room. Before I could say anything, Angel stopped me.
"He just went to my office. Wait to take your meds... he won't believe you if you took them and he didn't see."
"Uh... Okay." I pulled my bottle out of my jacket (which was still on the floor) and sat back on the bed.
Mark came back in and gave Angel her meds, and then he turned to me.
"Where are yours?" I held out the orange bottle to him. He took one out and put it in my hand.
I swallowed it dry and smiled at him, and my smile grew when he smiled back. Mark's smiles were still adorable, so adorable, I had to kiss him.
I was cautious about taking if further then just a lip on lip kiss, but if Mark felt threatened he would pull away... right?
Well... no day but today.
I slowly opened my mouth and drew his lower lip into my mouth. Mark quickly pulled back and looked into my eyes, then turned his head to look around the room. We were alone.
He focused back on me and climbed on to my lap. I scooted the short way to the wall.
I was surprised to find Mark started the kissing. I pulled him in closer by his neck. This time he accepted my tongue and out matched me in passion.
Kissing Mark was better then I had ever imagined.
One time I heard Maureen telling April the one reason she kept Mark was because he was an excellent kisser.
She was right, but unlike her, I was never going to let Mark go.
(1) The Time it Takes to Fall- Adam Pascal, Model Prisoner
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-Bailey